I'm not even sure if I have initiated this thread in the right forum or not, but my boyfriend has been in prison going on 11 years and could possibly be sent home by the Sup. Court by the end of the year- but no later than 27 months from now... my question is- how can I help him to adjust? I am aware that there will be culture shock so how can I ease the transition for him?

Wow, how can you help?

From my point of view, just be there. I think that what Linda did for me was listen, listen to my frustrations, my desire for my life and for ours as a couple. What amazed me is that her desires for me and us and her frustrations were much the same.

There was a lot of fear on my part when I first came home, because from March to August of last year I was on house arrest and there was a real good possibility that I could be sent back.

Be patient with him, be patient with his fears of the outside would, his, what we called leftovers of prison life, example, I had a hard time with being touched affectionately, I also had a hard time with doors. Still do.

I could not dream of the future then, because I was afraid too, afraid that if I let myself have goals and desires for a better future, a better life with Linda, that it would be robbed from me again.

Most of all be patient, be loving, and listen.

Patti

Patti, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I know that it may be rough, but I am willing to travel that road with him!

hi,my guy was released april 15 after 17 years.i picked him up after not seeing him in 15 years.it was different for him, very different.i have tried to make it as easy as possible for him.keeping up with things,dont try to push him into making alot of decisions.things as simple as going into a convenient store to buy a drink, so many choices. give him time to decide what he likes.just be there for him.the first 2 weeks we didnt do alot of productive things,just enjoyed each other (which we really do alot of) week 3 we got social security card .week 4 drivers license,a car ,and started a job today which he went and found on his own.good luck

I'm following this thread as well.
I hope to have Aron home by this fall.
He has been inside over 15 years, I think closer to 16 or 17 years.
We had not reconnected until he was already inside and settled into state.

My husband made parole on March 29th and will be coming home after 10+ years. I ask Lewis what could I do to help him to not be overwhelmed with life on the outside. He said "just help me to know I'm not alone". he also said " for me to just be there for him to talk to with judgeing him".I know it is going to be very hard for him.
good luck and God bless
sue

I have been wondering the same thing lately. My Husband will be coming home July 13th of this year. He has been in prison for almost 10 years.

They are sending him to a halfway house to finish his remainder 6 months.
I worry a lot for him because they give him like 2 weeks to find a job.

I have a lot of different worries. I just pray that I will be able to be his rock when needed.

Its comforting to read that we all are not alone with our worries.
I ave talked with my love about that topic too. He too fears to face "the outside" again after 10 years (he will be released in February 2006).
I think much is won when we are aware that adapting to a new environment is not so easy. And I think the best we can do is being there and listen.
I always cheer myself up because I know in hard times we always comforted each other and shared our strength - and doubled it this way!
And after all - when he's outside we are always there to reach each other (I just hope I have settled in USA in the meantime :) )
I wish you all good luck!

My boo has been gone for 10 years. I am willing to do whatever it is to help him feel welcomed and that he is not an outsider. Thank you for posting.
Wow, how can you help?

From my point of view, just be there. I think that what Linda did for me was listen, listen to my frustrations, my desire for my life and for ours as a couple. What amazed me is that her desires for me and us and her frustrations were much the same.

There was a lot of fear on my part when I first came home, because from March to August of last year I was on house arrest and there was a real good possibility that I could be sent back.

Be patient with him, be patient with his fears of the outside would, his, what we called leftovers of prison life, example, I had a hard time with being touched affectionately, I also had a hard time with doors. Still do.

I could not dream of the future then, because I was afraid too, afraid that if I let myself have goals and desires for a better future, a better life with Linda, that it would be robbed from me again.

Most of all be patient, be loving, and listen.

Patti