I am doing research and I am wondering how you feel about having children visit their parents in prison?? Do you feel that this will affect the child in any harmful way, for example making the child more likely to be in prison himself? Also I am wondering if you have any suggestions for creating a program that would be helpful to the child dealing with the parents imprisonment. Thanks!

In my opinion it's very important for our kids to visit their dad--my husband. The parent-child bond has to be maintained. Our youngest was in shock as were the older ones when he first went in--but Zach just wondered from room to room calling for daddy etc... Then he'd sob. He had just turned 4. I worked it thru with the kids and prepped them and have walked them thru every step of the way. They write, visit and talk on the phone with him. Zach goes with me every time to visit.

To NOT visit would have had a very harmful effect on my kids, their relationship with their dad, and our family. I also had my kids each in individual therapy and we went to family therapy prior to hoim going in. Course you're talking to someone who has been a Mental Health Therapist for years.

Kids need to be able to visit more often, there needs to be a kid friendly environment---toys and books and games, and if there could be group therapy for the kids at an outside agency that would be great. So, the kids didn't feel so alone. They can relate to each other. This can be a very isolating thing. Just my thoughts.....

Deb

I have to totally agree with you deb......When Stephen went in my 3 year old Sabrina literally got sick with sadness--she wouldnt eat, or play and she lost weight and lied around sucking her thumb...I tried everything to cheer her up-then one day I saw a Snow White book in the supermarket (she LOVES Snow White) I brought it home and gave it to her saying it was from Daddy--she smiled for the first time in a month..this broke her out of her funk..And at first I thought it was best not to bring them to see him, I didnt want them to be exposed to any of that environment, but after careflu consideration I brought thwm and they had a great time talking to him but when we left Sabrina looked up at me and said "WE FOUND HIM! WE FOUND HIM!!" I asked ehr "What?" she said " DADDY WAS LOST BUT NOW WE FOUND HIM!!" ..

I took them every other week until Stephen was brought back to the county jail for court...then I took them maybe 1 time a month and I have seen a marked change intheir behavior..they are more angry and more sad that they havent been seeing him on a regular basis.
I also agree that making visit a kid friendly environment would make things easier. I have 5 and it would be very very hard for me to go by myself to visit with all of them (so I usually take my mom) I don't think that TExas is very family oriented. I believe that helping to develop and keep those family ties would reduce the rate of reoffending and also help to break the cycle....I looked and looked for a book to read to my kids so they could understand what was going on in our lives..but there wasnt one i could find...so I am working on writing one myself(almost doen but cant seem to get the ending right????) I also would like to bring the issues that our children have-more contact with their fathers(mothers also but I think that fatehrs are totally forgotten in this issue) funding for education, funding for therapy (I cant afford any type of therapy for my kids but I know it would be beneficial, there is so much anger and emotion involved) etc.....I am thinking of starting up something to try and get soem light shed on our children---America's forgotten children. They are true vicitms in all this.

I am happy to see that both of you are so intent on the best for your children, sadly there are those who lack that concern. I appreciate your reply as it is important for me to have the opinions of those who are affected by this increasing problem.

Ameila, I think your book is a great idea and I'm sure it will help many children who don't have the support that your children do. Thanks again!