I still bear the scars of my incarceration.

One night a bunch of guys came and beat the sh**t out of the inmate in the bunk next to mine. I never knew that such violent damage could be done in the space of 30 seconds. I still have nightmares. any normal person would.

But the most frightening thing about this incident was that it was a mistake.

I went way out of my way to avoid any conflict. Of course I had to fight a few times. Some guys enjoy conflict and violence. not me. So most guys who get beaten up have (at least by prison rules) deserve it.

but this time the "fellas" got the wrong bed. They nearly beat an innocent man to death. He lost an eye and all of his teeth. Then "the Fellas" , after realizing their mistake said they'd come back and kill him if he snitched them out.

After that I couldn't sleep at night. The vibrations created by a person walking down the hall on a concrete floor in bare feet would wake me up. They still do.

If my wife is awake and I'm sleeping ( I work nights) I have to have the television on and the volume loud, because if I even hear a spoon drop in the sink,.... two rooms away with the door closed,.. I jump out of my sleep.

The second example is a little more humours and has also been overcome.

My first real job after prison requires me to wear a uniform,... Blue stripe shirt and blue pants. The "Bosses" wear brown and kahaki!!!
(the standard uniforms in prison) But the worst thing is that they also carry radios!

It was over a year before I didnt' jump every time I heard one of those radios go off behind me!!!!!

thank you for sharing...i hope your time home is getting easier..and that your nights are less frightful

I was in an abusive marriage and have the same sleep problems. My husband now knows to "back up" as he tries to wake me because I usually come up punching ;) . He's got at least 10 more years to go on his sentence and I know he's going to have the same problems. We'll get through it somehow because we have to, but I'm going to have some ice packs ready just in case.

And can I just say again, I am so glad you're here and posting. I really do think your view can help a lot of us out.

Freckles

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I have so many concerns about how things will be for my fiance when he comes home (probably this summer!) and how he will handle the after effects of prison mentally.

I hope things get easier for you as time goes on and that adjusting back to your normal life gets to going smoothly. Be strong :)

Hi Tom, can't say I have anything to releave your delimma except to keep reminding yourself that your on the outside now.

What transpired inside was a different time, a different culture, a different world.

When inside, that culture becomes real and one adjust. When one hits the gates, they enter a whole new culture and needs time to make it their own.

A question to ponder, is your wife being seen (unrealized) as a cellie, or an outside mate your living with in the free world? Love has NOTHING to do with the question! Many Ex-Con's have a way of keeping themselves lock behind bars even when in the free world.

That "cellie" thingie just poped in my head, so take it for what it's worth.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Thanks for the thought(s) B-Ray,.. But I think I've adjusted pretty well,... it's just that I remain a really light sleeper. To be honest, I haven't thought this much about my "time" in years,.. not since I've been spending time here :slap:

But I think it's good to revisit parts of your life from time to time,... I'm just glad I've got a round trip ticket!!!!