Dancing_tom
05-01-2004, 02:53 AM
My first thank-you is to the administrators of this site. I've been out for almost 5 years and fast-tracked my way back to a real life. However, in the 12 hours since discovering this site I've learned (once again) that not everything is behind me. WOW,.. I can't believe the anger that I still hold onto and have never had a chance to express.
My second is to God. and his plan for my life.
If someone had told me 6 years back that someday I'd be grateful for my time in prison I'd have laughed! But,.. Had I not been "busted" I'd probably be dead from an O.D. or a gunshot wound. I'd never have gotten my college degree and had never have left my "comfortable" neighborhood with my "comfortable" friends,, dealers, and coke whores. I;'d never have met the most wonderful woman n the world and convinced her to marry me.
Now to the "choices" part,...
I'd planned my release pretty carefully. Starting about 6 months in advance I got into a halfway house. I'd had my Dad liqidate my few pre-prison possessions and buy a running vehicle (It's really hard to get around to the 10 or more parole-required meetings-per-week on the bus). I'd made a list of the real necessities that I had to buy:
Watch
Alarm Clock
Shoes
and one luxory,... a new toothbrush!
I still had my DOC toothbrush (actually a veternary brush with a 2"handle!) ,... But a real toothbrush; that was a luxory!
Well, it turned out that this was the last purchase of the day of my release. I got to the Aisle,....... AISLE of toothbrushes. There must have been over a thousand choices. I looked at them all. I mean $2.35 is a HUGE decision after 3.5 years of having no decisions at all. Finally, I felt like I was going to faint or throw-up, or both.
That's when it really hit me,.. "I'm going to need a lot of help".
I couldn't even decide on which toothbrush to buy.
My second is to God. and his plan for my life.
If someone had told me 6 years back that someday I'd be grateful for my time in prison I'd have laughed! But,.. Had I not been "busted" I'd probably be dead from an O.D. or a gunshot wound. I'd never have gotten my college degree and had never have left my "comfortable" neighborhood with my "comfortable" friends,, dealers, and coke whores. I;'d never have met the most wonderful woman n the world and convinced her to marry me.
Now to the "choices" part,...
I'd planned my release pretty carefully. Starting about 6 months in advance I got into a halfway house. I'd had my Dad liqidate my few pre-prison possessions and buy a running vehicle (It's really hard to get around to the 10 or more parole-required meetings-per-week on the bus). I'd made a list of the real necessities that I had to buy:
Watch
Alarm Clock
Shoes
and one luxory,... a new toothbrush!
I still had my DOC toothbrush (actually a veternary brush with a 2"handle!) ,... But a real toothbrush; that was a luxory!
Well, it turned out that this was the last purchase of the day of my release. I got to the Aisle,....... AISLE of toothbrushes. There must have been over a thousand choices. I looked at them all. I mean $2.35 is a HUGE decision after 3.5 years of having no decisions at all. Finally, I felt like I was going to faint or throw-up, or both.
That's when it really hit me,.. "I'm going to need a lot of help".
I couldn't even decide on which toothbrush to buy.