OK. I just read the post about overcoming the fear of relapse. I haven't. My biological father was clean from heroin for 7 years and died (6 years ago) from an overdose (speedball). My step-dad is still an alcoholic. My husband, who is now serving a 4 and 1/2 year sentence, is a crack/crystal addict. He has been an addict for 4 years. I have done the rehabilitation/half-way house thing with him. I have attended "First Step" treatment through our church with him. I have gone to Al-Anon. I have read "Courage to Change" and other co-dependent books. I have set boundaries and stuck to them. I have been supportive, tough when needed, and leaned on God. Yet, still I'm wondering. Will this all pay off in the end?
Someone PLEASE tell me a happy recovery story. Someone tell me they can change their addictive behaviors. Tell me they can be happy, sober, and that my family DOES have a chance at a normal life. I'm barely hanging on to hope here. I don't know anyone that has made it in a relationship with an addict and lived to tell a happy story.
Can you help me?

Hi there..
I know your dealing with so much when you deal with an addict especially when you love one. I have worked in the Addictions Field for many years prior to leaving the Government and moving on. But I can tell you one thing. There are many stories I can tell you some of which are great. but I will share my experience with you rather than tell you of someone else. My mother was an addict for many years when I was a child. I am now 34 years old. She let me go due to her behaviour and I was raised by my aunt. My mom is now 69 years old, and has been clean for 25 years. She let go of her behaviours and has become someone that I can be friends with. Although I don't regret my aunt raising me as she did a wonderful job, I miss knowing my mom could have. However; its a blessing to me and my family to have someone different in our lives, a happier wonderful woman who I am now friends with and have grown to love in the years since she threw me away. So it is possible for people we love to change their behaviour. It is up to that individual and if they love themselves enough then they will make it. As for you, its great to know you are dealing with it in a positive way. Trying to understand your own behaviour is a good start. So keep on hoping and hold strong to your faith and love for those who suffer with the problem of Addiction. I will think of you and yours, and know it is possible.
Much hugs and love
P

I'll tell ya a story! My mans Mom was an IV drug addict for about 25 years,she was very,very bad.I mean in and out of jail,fighting,stealing,loosing her kids, homeless,everything you can think of this woman did and went through.

She is now a counseler at a local society that helps the addicted and poor and this October will be her 11th sobriety birthday :)

Thank you two for sharing. Actually, my Mom has been clean for about 5 years. She became a Christian & it changed her whole perspective on life. I don't know any MEN who have done it though or any marriages that have survived it.

Someone PLEASE tell me a happy recovery story. Someone tell me they can change their addictive behaviors. Tell me they can be happy, sober, and that my family DOES have a chance at a normal life.
It can be done! I have been clean for 20 years.
My guy has been clean for 5 years.

It does get better. It does get easier. You can do it! I am proud of you!!! :thumbsup:

JJT: Good for you and your man! Keep it up!

Recovering addict/alcoholic here, enjoying Day 17 of my new life (after 3 years out there & several unsuccessful tries at recovery since Thanksgiving). What's different this time? --my attitude to the program and my desire to get the old "me" back. What helps my effort? --the support of my family and co-workers, who seem to see a change in attitude and start to think that the old Ralph has returned. How can I stay on track? --by being honest with myself and those around me. Who does that include? --you guys and other friends on other websites where people care about each other. Love and support make all the difference. God bless you all & good luck to everyone trying to recover. Ralph

ebon,

I would love to share with you, but due to the recent indescretion here I would feel way more comfortable on yahoo chat...I think you know how to hook up with me right?

Holla
Becki

Well when i went to jail for drugs and stealing cars, I started doing meth when i was 12 and went to jail right before my 18 th bday! I have been clean since.. a year and 4 months.. When i was going to my drug treatment.. My councler and the other councler, one had 15 years clean and the other had 24 years clean of drugs.. =) see men can do it too!! Dont worry!

I hope you ladies are right. I have been trying to support my husband for four years of this now. Every single time I have stood beside him, because I kept thinking: "At what point do you give up on someone?" I didn't want to do that! I just pray that good will come of this & that supporting him will be worth all of the pain we've been through.
Thank you for your replies!

So you want to hear a happy story about someone who used drug and stopped.. OK, I'm not sure how happy this is? You can let me know if it's a happy ending or a sad ending?....This is a story of a women who could of been on the top of the world. She had everything and had nothing. She finished high school in 1971. She never did drugs. She went to a Homecoming football game. Her best friend and her took a jar full of 10 different kinds of booze to the game and drunk it.. She didn't drink after that till she was in her late 20's. Out of high school she started hanging out with the in crowd.. Stopping pot. The first time she smoke a joint, she got a really bad head ache. I think her body was trying to warn her. But did she listen? NO! Got a job at Atlanic Records doing promotion. Traveling with the bands and using different kinds of drugs. One day a very wise man asked her why she used drugs. She said it makes me work harder. He laughed and said ya make's a mess or your so out of control. Did she listen? NO! Lost her job in the record business not because of drugs but because the drugs made her not fight for her job.. Thru the years she used, her drug of choice was cocaine. She had lines everywhere, never ran out. From cocaine she went to crack cocaine.. She used these two drug for 20 years. She went to meeting trying to stop. But after the meeting she feft like those people have problems not her. So after the meeting she would go get high. She joined a four square church hoping they could help her. But they were to addicted to god. She felt like they stopped being a drug addict and turn to be a god addict. They stopped listening to rock and roll music. They wanted her to throw her albums and any dirty magazine , video away. She told them forget it God doesn't care if I listen to rock and roll music. So she went back to drugs. Finally one day her boyfriend got her to stop doing the crack cociane. How? He turned her on to speed, yes crystal was her new drug of choice. Plus now she goes to the doctor five times a week cause she had a injury. Three times a week she gets a pain, a valium shot and a B12 shot. Plus she gets three different kinds of pills to take a home. Soma, Codine, xana... Now this women is out of controll. Having blackouts cause she's been eatting pills all night to sleep cause she been taking speed all day.
Everyone else in the house was using.. The next thing that happens to her is jail for five days.. For methamphtamine. But once again she lucked out no police report, No meth. found, But did she learn? NO! She was let go and went to her friends house and got high... Thru the years this women tryed every drug that was ever made, even if it made he sick or gave her a warning she gave that drug another chance... Finally one day after being a jack of all trades master of none. Letting Mr. Trashman into her life. Fighting with the law. Have her house broke into and her car taken and the cops asking what she was smoking. She stop... Yes one day she woke up to a very old women who was losing her mind. No that didn't happen in one day, That women had been losing her mind for years. But because she knew her birthday, name , president. The law, the court , people who lived right next to her. Thought the old lady is fine, It's her daughter that's losted it...... Now that women is Minnie, Yap, it's me... I tryed all kinds of things to stop getting high.... but I never tryed to stop going to the people who used. I went to all kinds of meeting.. Hated them....Went to church... Went to church meeting .Hated that even more, But still going back to the people that use... Now after 20 some years of using drugs....The drug were making me sick, depressed and out of control. Turning 50 and being on watch taking care of someone who you really don't want to take care of. Alot of demon inside about my relationship with my mom..Alot of time to think and see how precious life really is.. To top it off they had found something in my breast. Cause for the last two years all I did was stay total out of control.. Never got catch. But losted my soul and my way. I haven't done anything for two years. I don't go to meeting and I never really did. I just stopped...I woke up and smelled the coffee and boy was it burned. I don't go to anyones home who I know will have drugs there. I stay far away from those kind of people cause too this day I can't say no.. I know that... So for me to stay off drugs, I just stay away from drug user. I just turned my whole life around... If I'm out and I see someome I know that is a user I say hi and keep on walking...I did alot of soul searching found out alot about minnie.. So here's my happy story... I just woke up and never did drugs again well at least for two years. Since my man went to prison... and know what? It wasn't hard.. I just wanted to stop. I really truly was tied of the drugs..I'm sure if I went to someone home and there was a pile of speed on the table my face would be in that pile and the next day I would be sick, and sad but you know what I don't want to to drugs any more.. I'm truly tied....Plus I'm sick of the people you hang out with when you doing drugs. Most of all I'm sick of losing my things....So my new habit is PTO... It took the place of drugs. It gives me a high....................minnie:cool:

Minnie,

I don't know you, but I am proud of you. :-)

I think the main theme pervails...the person has to reach their personal bottom and make the choice to change their life. It's not about how many meetings you go to or how badly you want them clean. It's about THEM wanting to do it.

I never had a lot of luck with meetings and don't need a church to bring me to God...I have God with me all the time. I do adopt one thing from support groups...I am powerless to change those I love...they have to want the change or it will NEVER happen. I can be there for them. (unless they don't get straight and I reach MY bottom).

Take care of you...and have faith....God has a plan...and it all eventually surfaces,
kath

I'm a recovering addict, have been clean for quite a while- but to focus on your question if MEN can make it...

I met my bf 5 years ago- a man who had been on crack for 8 years back then (started as a kid). For the longest time of our relationship, he was in and out of jail or on his binges.
Two years ago though, he went to prison for something minor, got out after 18 months. I had broke up with him a while before that- I think it mostly was because of all the fruitless efforts I had made to help him straighten up.
He got out, relapsed after a week or so and then again after two weeks.
When he needed help because someone was threatening topress (FALSE) charges on him, I let him stay with me and our children that he had never really spent time with.
I was pregnant again and got very sick- he now was the one responsible for the kids and I. I think that along with being sick and tired of being sick and tired, this is what he needed- to KNOW just how much he was needed and how we depended on him. He's been clean for over 6 months and believe me- no one has known him to stay clean for that long EVER. This time I truly think he will stay strong.


Tanya