My mother-in-law is on the FCN update email list and they emailed her about this site.

My husband was always in and out of juvenile/jail. We have been together for 7 years now. The last time he went into jail was 2 1/2 years ago. We have a toddler daughter together and lets just say that our daughter will be a woman by the time he comes home.

Its been tough but I look at it this way, if he was out here, he would have been making his life and everyone else's life miserable. He would have hurt me, or someone else that he loves or himself out here. He drank did drugs, etc...and life was ugly. But I won't think about the bad times in the past now...this time out he is on has forced him to get his mind right and we have developed a wonderful new relationship.

He is a changed man, a wonderful father and a caring husband. He would have never been able to be the man he is now without hitting this bottom. As cold and hard as his bottom was, we can finally start to heal from here and make the best out of what we can.

The only positive outcome is having a positive attitude. Day to day, life goes on without him by our side and we do what it takes and what we can to keep this family as close as possible. Grieving or regretting doesn't help me up a bit so I try to look on the brighter side. I am thankful that we have our life and good health. He made a mistake that we all are paying for and there is nothing we could do about that. We only choose the outcome of this and I chose to be positive.

Love is stronger than anything and LOVE ALWAYS WINS.

:)

I THINK YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE - I CAN RELATE TO MUCH OF YOUR STORY AS MY RON IS A RECOVERING ADDICT- BEFORE HE LEFT WE LIVED IN A "REACT" MODE-CONSTANT CHAOS- NOW WE ACTUALLY HAVE TIME TO GET TO KNOW OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER IN AN INTIMATE WAY THAT IS BEYOND PHYSICAL INTIMACY- WE ARE FORCED TO EXAMINE OURSELVES AND OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU ARE RIGHT--LOVE ALWAYS WINS WHEN IT IS UNCONDITIONAL AND IT IS REAL. ALTHOUGH I THINK THIS COULD HAVE OCCURRED IN A BETTER WAY--LIKE HIM RECEIVING TREATMENT ( ISN'T THAT WHAT "CORRECTIONS" IMPLIES?) INSTEAD OF THIS PUNITIVE JUNCTURE--I ACCEPT THIS AS SOMETHING THAT WE MUST GO THROUGH TO REACH THE NEXT LEVEL--A HEALTHY AND WHOLE RELATIONSHIP, HERE ON THE OUTSIDE. AS A MOM OUT HERE WITH SIX DAUGHTERS, IT IS ANYTHING BUT EASY, BUT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TWO HOURS IN A VISITING ROOM WITH THE CHANGED MAN RON HAS BECOME THAN A LIFETIME OF THE CRAZINESS, PAIN AND DESPAIR WHEN HE WAS (AS HE PUT IT) "A DEAD MAN LIVING IN A LIVE WORLD"-- ALTHOUGH I DISAGREE AND WILL FIGHT TO CHANGE MANY OF THE POLICIES AND PROCEDURES IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND PRISON SYSTEM, I THANK GOD RON IS ALIVE AND THAT TODAY WHEN I LOOK INTO HIS EYES THEY ARE NOT GLAZED OVER IN A SUBSTANCE-INDUCED HAZE, BUT INSTEAD ARE CLEAR AND BRIGHT --AND WE CAN BOTH APPRECIATE EACH MOMENT WE SHARE TOGETHER.

TAKE CARE

PS- WHAT LIES BEHIND US AND WHAT LIES BEFORE US ARE TINY MATTERS COMPARED TO WHAT LIES WITHIN US

is your husband still in or is he out now? if he is still locked up where is he at? my man is in monroe msunit

Nice to meet you pozitive, all the best! :)

Hi Pozitive !!!
Welcome to the PTO family !!! :wave:

Welcome pozitive :wave:

Welcome to the community Pozitive!

Welecome POzTive to PTO

Great name and Great attitude. I hope you stick around we need you POzTIVE....... Take care and talk to you soon.

Pozitive....
Welcome to PTO.... :) Glad to have you (and your positive perspective!) here!! Look forward to hearing more from you!!

:p It certainly seems like you have grown a bad situation into a beautiful blooming opportunity. I look forward to finding you on-line soon.

Hi Pozitive, Welcome to PTO:wave:

>We only choose the outcome of this and I chose to be positive.

I appreciate that phrase very much, Pozitive. I wish you find in this community the same understanding and support that I've found.

Un abrazo from Buenos Aires
Andrés

Pozitive,

Welcome!

Here is a quote from Louis L'Amour and The Walking Drum... I just thought that it fit here! I am so happy that he is a changed man!

Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape his life into the sort of thing he wishes it to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, this I am today; that I will be tomorrow.

Hi! Welcome to PTO!!

Hello pozitive!! I can certainly relate to your story. My husband and I are both recovering Alcoholics and addicts. I have over a year and a half sober. I am lucky in that I wrecked plenty of havok in the lives of those that love me but did not get into any legal trouble at all. I actually met Jason since we have both been in recovery and am very glad we did not party together or it would have been huge trouble. You are very right to look at it as being a blessing, that is really healthy. Very many addicts/alcholics never get sober or die sober and to find the path to sobriety is a blessing no matter what it takes. It can be really hard on Jason because there is no support in the prison he is in. There is one AA meeting a week and maybe 2 people that really want to be there. He does a lot of work on his own and writes to other people in recovery. You may want to check out al anon or narc anon... they are very loving, caring and helpful. Those women have been a total blessing in my life. Good luck!!

Hi! Pozitive,

Welcome to PTO!

welcome to PTO