View Full Version : Going nutz-can I see who's on husbands visit list?


leelee80
06-07-2011, 09:08 PM
How do i find out how to get my husbands visiting list/or prison phone list. There has to be some kind of way - i suspect he has been prison cheating on me b/c of the distance between us. I really want to just know the facts. Any ideas?

CoNpal
06-07-2011, 09:15 PM
I'm pretty sure that only he can give that to you. Have you asked him for it? If he has nothing to hide, it shouldn't be a problem, right? My other suggestion would be to show up for surprise visits if you suspect somebody else is going to see him.

You might want to post this in the mail/phone forum.

sidewalker
06-08-2011, 08:09 AM
In my state, you cant do that. They will not tell you.
Suspecting that its the same in most facilities/states

pisces317
06-08-2011, 11:46 AM
why dont you just ask one thing i learn't going thru the bid with my xx trusting them and believing what they say helps in nurturing a good relationship,if he has nothing to hide then he'll send it to put ur mind at rest,wrecking your brain is only going to add salt t a already hard situation be honest tell him ur getting vibes that he's not being completely honest apologize to him letting him know that you just need reassurance and if he's being honest there should'nt be a problem with getting to you his phone list they get that every month for their own records anyway

nimuay
06-08-2011, 01:45 PM
If you don't trust him in prison, then it must be pure hell for you out on the streets. Why bother with a relationship that has no trust in it?

pisces317
06-08-2011, 04:55 PM
Very well said nimuay................

esteli
06-09-2011, 01:30 AM
If you don't trust him in prison, then it must be pure hell for you out on the streets. Why bother with a relationship that has no trust in it?

absolutely agree. don't waste your time with a relationship that isn't 100% what you want and need. life is too short to waste like this.

zoyrosa
06-09-2011, 08:22 AM
Hi. Can I give you the other side of someone who's been asked this question from the inside. My husband did asked me this when I was in. For my email list and my phone list. Visitors wasn't an issue bc I was federal and too far away. I had no problem giving it to him. If it made him feel better then fine. But that was me as a female. Just know how to ask. When you are in and dealing with a lost of bs from cos and inmates and other staff it sucks to have your family question you too. We have no control over anything. And then when we get questioned over stuff like that some people get.defensive. I never did but I saw some that exploded. That's how its taken. But I know where you are coming from.

thatwiz
06-09-2011, 09:33 AM
He's the only one that can give it to you. The prison doesn't need any more drama and won't supply it to you as its his business, not yours who is on his list and its also his privacy issue.

Desert Rose
06-09-2011, 11:32 PM
He's the only one that can give it to you. The prison doesn't need any more drama and won't supply it to you as its his business, not yours who is on his list and its also his privacy issue.


It's not that the prison doesn't need more drama, DOC's public disclosure policies vary from state to state. Contact the headquarters in your state capital to find out which documents you are allowed to request. Medical & mental health records are off limits, but other docs can be provided with appropriate redactions made to protect the privacy of others.

You should be able to obtain visit and phone lists, minus SS numbers and other protected info. Generally lists of names, infraction history, etc. are all public record. People just don't realize they can request and obtain this information. You will have to pay the fees for copying, and additional costs per their policy.

Like I said, the states vary...good luck !

LeStrange
06-09-2011, 11:54 PM
I have seen several ladies say that their man sends them his visitation list. So if you're wanting to know who is on his lists then you would have to go through HIM to find that info out. He would probably have to go and have the forms printed out and send them to you. Your best bet would be to come out and ASK HIM first. Tell him your suspicions and then ask him who is on his lists and if he could send you copies of them. But like everyone has stated if you don't trust him then why waste your time on him???

Turbo413
06-10-2011, 02:07 PM
How do i find out how to get my husbands visiting list/or prison phone list. There has to be some kind of way - i suspect he has been prison cheating on me b/c of the distance between us. I really want to just know the facts. Any ideas?

Some facilities will give you that information, if you're the spouse. I called my husband's counselor, to get the information I needed and majority of the time I got it. Depends of course on their "mood" and "how" you ask. A lot of people say "they can't give it to you," I'd call and try first, before anything.

That's just me though, I always ask questions..be it yes or no :D