I have a question (no Im not getting married), I was just curious. When you marry a man on death row, that is already there, and the visits are non contact, do they give you time to be together, so you can at least touch, like a hug and a kiss. Its just something I have always been curious about.
Sorry if Im being "nosy" but I guess its just something Ive always wondered about. I admire all you ladies for what you go through everyday. :)

Nope not in TX anyway. :( It sucks girl. I married my sweetie and nothing changed at ALL except my name and relationship on his visitation list.

Celene

Celene!!! I just noticed you, cute name :) :)
That sux, I thought that if you did your marriage vows they would AT LEAST give you 5 minutes together.
THe love is there though, and thats all that matters

Thanks sweetie, lol! :p Yeah I needed the change! ;) I know, it's so cruel that we couldn't even get that, just 5 minutes would have been wonderful...but you are right, the love is what gets us through the hard times. :)

Love, Celene

I believe when marriages took place on Illinois Death Row they did allow the couple to at least hug and kiss after the service. The inmate had all chains and shackles removed for the ceremony and I've been told the Chaplain at menard conducted a very nice service.

That's what Tony and I were expecting but things changed with the clemency and we still aren't married!!!

Rose

Hi sorry for all the bumping up of old post but i only just got here:)

when i married my husband he was on DR in TN, it was the most beauitiful day of my life,"we had a back to front wedding:)" we ate cake and lots of treats we spent 4 hrs together with my 3 kids in a little room on our own, being watched! then the preacher came and married us, we were both full or tears and smiles, toward the end of our vows my kids started crying "they all gave me away to him" My husband pulled in my middle son and held him tight while we finnished our vows,instead of saying until death do us part we changed it to for all eternity, i dont ever want to be without him, luckly they wouldnt let me bring the paper work back to the unit, so the preacher had to go get it so we could sign the papers, "he is a big guy and promised to walk slow :) " which gave us an extra half hour:) we got two gaurds to sign it "even they were crying" after the paper work was done we had to leave, the woman guard who took my husband back said she wouldnt tell anyone he cried if he didnt tell on her:) it was beautiful, the guards were great, the preacher is so special he visits my husband regular and im also in contact with him, my husband often says sorry about it not being a big wedding, but i tell him it was the best its not about fancy clothes and big cakes its about commitment and knowing you want to spend the rest of your life with that one person, I know deep in my heart he will come home one day, but if not then i know that one day we will go home together and there wont be any walls to keep us apart anymore, anyway take care nikki

what a beautiful wedding goininsane :) you almost had me crying :)
I wish Texas wasn't so harsh!

I am planning to wed a death row inmate in June and am told there is no-contact - in fact the ceremony is conducted behind glass. The weddings are conducted on the first Thursday of every month and you don't even get time to visit afterward. You have to have a scheduled visit on the Friday and/or Saturday following the ceremony. We debated on waiting until he is out of the AC unit when he may again have contact visits but he's been in there over two years and we don't have any sign that he will be released from that unit anytime soon. As time is precious and we would like to experience as much time together as man and wife, we decided not to wait.

TK

You basically get married by proxy. In Texas...well death row I think its business as usual, they dont do anything different.

exuse me if I'm rude. But I have to ask, why do you marry a death row inmate?

Because of love I guess - why do you marry?

The inmate marries because in most cases it's a cash cow

"The inmate marries because in most cases it's a cash cow" (???).

Excuse me, but who among us is a mind reader???

I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be locked up for 23 hours every day, with very little human contact. But if I had to choose between money or relationships in that (or ANY) situation, money would NEVER be my first choice.

Wait A Minute Now!!! Love Is Love !!!! I Think It's Wonderful That Love Can Be Found No Matter Where!!! You Ladies Are So Very Special To That Inmate. Dedication Alone Is A Beautiful Thing I Don't See You Being Any Different Than Me Or Anyone Else. You Bring Joy To Your Husband As Well As Your Husband Brings Joy To You. I Thank You For Being Who You Are... Love Him Strong And Love Him Long. How About This One For Those Who Look At This So Differently, In Some Cases Which Marriage May End Quicker? You Having Yours Home Or That Man That Is So Thankful For Having Such A Wonderful Wife That She Would Endure Whatever Conditions Because Of Her Love For Him. Just My Opinion Ladies That's All God Bless You All. ((hugs))

The inmate marries because in most cases it's a cash cow

that is funny.. wanna see my bankstatements to proof you wrong lol

OK, if anyone has anything constructive to add to this discussion, please go ahead and post.
Otherwise, please pass on by!!
:)

Yes U Can Look At My Bank Statements Too For The Last 7 And Half Years

look at mine too when you pick yourself up off the floor from laughing at my savings account he's not with me for money he's with for the amazing love we share for each other

I am curious as to what you consider small amounts?

Two of you live overseas so the phone calls are not cheap nor are the visits plus you have to foot the bill for motel, car and vending machine food so this is costing you big time plus the quarterly package, canteen money every month of $185 and little odds and ends they request.

I am curious as to what you consider small amounts?

Two of you live overseas so the phone calls are not cheap nor are the visits plus you have to foot the bill for motel, car and vending machine food so this is costing you big time plus the quarterly package, canteen money every month of $185 and little odds and ends they request.


The inmates on Texas death row are only allowed a 5 minute phone call once very 90 days. Don't think that will be too hard on the pocket book.

You can stay FREE at the Hospitality House in Huntsville, so no cost for the motel. There are many people around that area that are willing to give rides to those at the hospitality house to Polunsky. And, if you did rent a car, to have several go in on the expense doesn't amount to much.

Quarterly package? Have no idea what you are talking about there.

Canteen money every month of $185? I would like to see a show of hands from those who put $185 a month on their account.

Oh, and to the odds and ends they request..... what odds and ends??????

Do some research before making a blank statement

Oh, one more thing. Why does anyone have to answer for doing something for some one they love any way? :confused:

Since we are talking about this I wondered ... can you get life insurance policies on your DR inmates? Or lifers for that matter? Does anyone know.

I think in most situations it is obviously for love, friendship and companionship although I do believe there are those other cases where they don't have a huge dating pool and just a come up is what some are looking for - just as in regular life on the streets however I do agree with forever plus life, you don't have to be rich but, being in a relationship with any inmate cost money, time and effort.

however I do agree with forever plus life, you don't have to be rich but, being in a relationship with any inmate cost money, time and effort.


Show me any relationship that doesn't............

The inmates on Texas death row are only allowed a 5 minute phone call once very 90 days. Don't think that will be too hard on the pocket book.

You can stay FREE at the Hospitality House in Huntsville, so no cost for the motel. There are many people around that area that are willing to give rides to those at the hospitality house to Polunsky. And, if you did rent a car, to have several go in on the expense doesn't amount to much.

Quarterly package? Have no idea what you are talking about there.

Canteen money every month of $185? I would like to see a show of hands from those who put $185 a month on their account.

Oh, and to the odds and ends they request..... what odds and ends??????

Do some research before making a blank statement

Oh, one more thing. Why does anyone have to answer for doing something for some one they love any way? :confused:


I was addressing the California Death Row girlfriends or wives not other death rows as I don't know how they operate so I have done my research and done it well as I have been part of the system and know exactly what I say before I post it.

No one has to answer for their love but you also know people ask questions as it is a unusual way to have a relationship.

We are going on 4 years now, I have sent him $40 ONCE and he returned it to me. I am disabled (MS) and hardly have the money for him to marry me for my money. Yes calls and visits are expensive, but what does that have to do with anything? We take calls and visit just as much for ourselves as for them. Quarterly packages? Hardly. Odds and ends? Like what? My husband has never asked me for anything othe than my love.

Since we are talking about this I wondered ... can you get life insurance policies on your DR inmates? Or lifers for that matter? Does anyone know..

No, DR inmates cannot get life insurance. I dont know about lifers.

I am curious as to what you consider small amounts?

Two of you live overseas so the phone calls are not cheap nor are the visits plus you have to foot the bill for motel, car and vending machine food so this is costing you big time plus the quarterly package, canteen money every month of $185 and little odds and ends they request.

canteen money 185$???? :eek: hm.. nope.. sorry little odds and ends they request???? :eek: nope.. wouldn't have that amount of money.. phone calls.. yes.. and that is important to us.. flights... from europe less than american internal flights.. unbelieveable huh?? it is true though. food and motel and car?? :eek: I stay in a hostel $17 a night, I go shopping and cook myself, go on buses and trains and the vendi food.. well 20$ per visit I can not afford more than that.. so.. sorry.. I consider that small amount.. I don't drink, I don't go into clubs, I don't smoke.. I just go to visit my husband.. whoopy..

whatever floats your boat.

I'm sorry, but I forgot to thank Schmusi for sharing those details; it wasn't necessary but there are women footing the bill for quarterly packages and the special purchase orders plus some canteen money as the food is so bad although not everyone kicks in to the max amount of $180

OK, if anyone has anything constructive to add to this discussion, please go ahead and post.
Otherwise, please pass on by!!
:)



This was asked of everyone and all ignored. This thread is about marriage to a death row prisoner not counting someones bank acount. Thread is closed now because it has gotten out of hand. Please keep things civil between each other, we are all fighting the same fight and nothing can be acomplished by bickering back and forth between each other. If you don't feel you can post without inciting trouble to someone else then please walk away.