Do any of you ladies have the same problem as me? Well my man loves to receive letters from me, but hates to write back. I hate it, because just like he likes to hear from me, I like to hear from him. I write him a letter everyday, and I might if I'm lucky get the most 2 letters a week. Just wondering if anyone else had this same dilemma? ~ Steph

My man is good about calling and writing. The only problem we have is the mail can be slow at times but we just have to deal with it. Explain to him that you would like to have more mail. Tell him how much you enjoy his letters. Perhaps if you keep encouraging him he will write more often. You might try sending a list of questions he can answer if it is hard for him to think of things to write about.

Patty

I already tried to do the question thing, he just hates to write, he even promised that he would write more, because last weekend at vizo, I talked to him about him, but he still doesn't write, than I was thinking well maybe I shouldn't write for a couple days, and than he will write me, but I can't, because I like him to be happy and get letters everyday. We only have 2 1/2 months let with this stuff and I can't wait, but if only he would write more, I don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions? Thanx Hotlatina

Wow, what perfect timing for this thread! I'm going through the same thing now as a matter of fact. Nick loves to have cards and posters made up for me, but I haven't gotten an actual letter from him in weeks. I talked to him on Saturday and asked him if he wrote me a letter and he said no. He said he'd write me one that day. Then I'm thinking, "well, if it's that much trouble, don't bother". But I didn't say it....LOL.

I've told him time and time again I love the cards and stuff, but what I love most is his letters, hearing from him, how he's doing, etc. I know he hates to write, but given the situation, what other choice does he have?

In the past week I must have sent out three letters, five cards, and tons of pictures to him. I haven't gotten anything from him since Saturday. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll decide to actually write something :(

Kelly

girl i so feel you. jeff would always tell me hes busy! i would get so mad, your in jail how busy can you possible be. well i would hear how he has a job and he has to work out, and so on. but i manage to write him 4 letters a week and i have a job 2 kids house cleaning etc. but now hes in the box!!! no excuses for him anymore! he has no choice but to write me now! lol!

Nicky's girl that is exactly the same with me, I haven't gotten anything from him since Saturday, and he promised me he would write because the same as you I like to hear how he is doing. I don't know what is the matter with our men girl because I would do anything my man wanted me to do but he can't write me a little letter? I am pretty sure you would do whatever you man wanted also. How funny that we are going through the same thing. Well I hope you get a letter tomorrow and myself also. :p

jeffsprincess don't ya just love the "too busy" excuse LOL I mean, really! I bet a lot of us have heard it! I used to get a lot more mail, lately we're down to 2 a week or so. They do run out of things to say. I have found it's more effective to not say anything about it. But I know what ya mean, Louie's Lady, I can't NOT write either, I can't take the thought of them having mail call and him not hearing his name. Spoiled things.

jeffsprincess, Louie tells me the same thing, and there is nothing to do in there for him but to work and workout, and he can't find 5 minutes to sit down and write to me. LOL when Louie was in the box, he would write me almost everyday, but ever since he has been in open population, he doesn't know how to act anymore, he just doesn't write anymore.

When my honey was in the box his letters were coming almost everyday. Long letters too.. he has been out of the shu a year and his letters are short and I may get one once a week. He would much rather call but my phone bill is nuts.I told him to start writing..he says he will but I have not seen it yet.

MTContrary, you got it, they are just too spoiled by us.

LOL they all have the same excuses, and it just makes me laugh.

no, my husband loves to write. Maybe you can talk to him about it, or maybe he is not good at expressing that way....alot of people cant write or dont like it.
and certainly not EVERYDAY...I dont write everyday.

I dont know, my husband is always busy, working out, working, reading, making stuff, projects, TV, counseling...You all think they do nothing but sit around, but they do get busy...

that is so funny! I have the EXACT same problem! He EXPECTS me to write him everyday, because we can't talk on the phone, but so far I have gotten 1 letter this week, I think it was 2 or 3 last. It is so frustrating, because he has nothing to do in there, he tells me that he just works out, plays cards, and watched tv in the dayroom. yet I work everyday and go to class 4 times a week, and still manage to send him a letter everyday. Don't get me wrong, I love the letters I do get, they are so sweet. Actually, I just sent him one last night saying that I am going to cut back unless I start getting more responses, because it kind of feels like a one sided conversation. I send him $ to buy envelopes, so where are they at!?! You're not alone girl!

Mrs. G i'm not saying they don't have anything to do, but they can't find 5 minutes out of a 24 hour day to write a letter, I guess you don't understand because your man likes to write.

Toms girl, I know they play cards and work out and play dominos before they want to write us and I guess I just don't understand, because if they stopped getting letters, they would be the first to say something about it.

Ha Well Me Too Mine Just Got Out Of Confinement Now He Don't Know How To Act Lol , **** He Better Learn Or He Ain't Gettin No Cigarettes At Vizzo Lol

lol ur crazy girl!

girl you only have 2 months to go, unlike some of us such as myself who have YEARS to go. i know how you're feeling but 2 letters a week for 2 months equals about 16 letters until he comes home. i dunno, but id be focusing on what ill be doing when he comes home rather than trip off not getting a daily letter.

I feel ya! I try and write him every single day but I only get about 2 letters a week,every once in ahile he will go on writing binges and send a letter a day for like a week but then it's back to a few if I'm lucky.This week I haven't rec'd one yet,it makes me sad when I open the box and there is nothing from him there :(

Jasonsmyhoney, I already have when he comes home under control, so I guess I can trip about the letters.

Californiasunshine, I am in the same boat as you no letters yet this week. :(

I use to write a lot but i slacked off, i feel that if i'm taking time out of my busy schedule then he should be able to write me the same if not more. So i slacked off then he started complaining about how he loved getting letters from me and how its been so long since he recvd a letter i told him I enjoyed his letters too so if he wants one from me he better catch up.

:ha: :ha: My last letter was in January and the one before that was Oct 2002 :ha: .........His excuse is same crap different day~no stamps (PLEASE) ....So I also stopped writting and visiting (I know drastic measure) but I really don't think he realizes what it would be like without the letters and things he gets from me...My last letter told him that I thought we both neeed breathing room and I needed to clean up my own back yard and see what~If~ :ha: :ha:

And believe me that it is VERY hard to do..........I mean I write everyday but keep it together and give it a few and maybe send it then....I love him but don't know how to show or tell him anymore, I guess the next move is his and if God ment it to be then it will............I know he loves and wants me but I think he's going through that I can't give~dont wait~better off without~wont be able to provide~(all I need is his love, material things are that things) Yea I told him but he don't get it.............And yes I have done this before and he came around guess I will wait and see if the letter comes?? :ha: :ha:

it's off and on for joe and i. sometimes he will write more one week and the next week i will write more etc...

he always tries to write, but not having stamps and stuff like that is not good!!! then it obviously prevents him from writing. i am usually the one that would rather not write. i have to be in the mood i guess, but i try!!

i looooooooove my letters though and i am thankful for joe! he likes to write!

Justin gets a letter from me every day. Sometimes two or three. It just depends. He hates to write. He always has. I don't really throw too much of a fit if it takes quite awhile for me to get a letter from him. When it's been too long, I tell him. Then he writes. It'd be different if I didn't get to talk to him everyday at least once. I love to get mail from him, but I'm not gonna sweat him on the little stuff-not usually-anyways. He writes when he gets the urge or I push him to do it, but I look at it this way i get to talk to him everyday, so I just deal with not getting mail from him.

My fiancee gets 4 letters a week since mail is delivered in one day and I get about 2 a week from him. I used to complain until I talked to many women who dont even get that. Some men just dont like to write! Some would rather talk on the phone than write. The first week of February I got a letter every day (5 letters in one week), then the week after and even now I get 1-2 a week.

For a guy, two letters a week is good unless he's in solitary, then he has plenty of time to write. My husband writes once a week and also calls me so I'm happy. But each individual couple is different and it also depends upon the individual's communication style. If getting two letters a week isn't enough for you, talk to him about it and see if you can work out a compromise.

lovinhim stil, you got the right idea, if he wants more letters, he better start writing.
woundedangel, i am sorry to hear that, and I hope the best for the both of you.
j2sq, u are a lucky one, and never take any letter for granted.
jjsgb, u are lucky because you get to talk to him everyday, I don't get to talk to Louie, so the only way we know about each other is through the mail and at vizo on the weekends.
Yasmeen, you are also lucky yasmen, and I am happy that you receive letters often and I hope they keep coming for you.
Mrs.Braff, well you are also lucky because you get phone calls.
Thank you all for writing and helping me out with my letter situation, and I am surprised to see that I am not the only one.

Girls, does this thread ever make me feel BETTER! Some weeks I get two letters, some weeks one, some weeks nothing. And the "busy" excuse. How many hours a day can they work, lift weights...guess what my big spoiled baby's excuse is sometimes? "I'm so busy reading your letters I don't have time to write." Hello! Want me to stop writing those daily letters, you big varmint?? But he loves callin' me.

LOL I feel you celtie and I hope it gets better for all of us!

hahaha...this is too funny. My situation is the exact opposite! You guys sound like my guy! He asks me all the time to write him more. He writes me every day. I tell him he calls me every other day, and I tell him everything I need to say then. You guys make me feel bad!

Mlutes, well you are very lucky, and you need to start writing him more, it makes him happy, and it brightens his day, and I think you should look into writing more, even if its a little card or something, so he atleast gets to he his name called at mail time.

Wow, what perfect timing for this thread! I'm going through the same thing now as a matter of fact. Nick loves to have cards and posters made up for me, but I haven't gotten an actual letter from him in weeks. I talked to him on Saturday and asked him if he wrote me a letter and he said no. He said he'd write me one that day. Then I'm thinking, "well, if it's that much trouble, don't bother". But I didn't say it....LOL.

I've told him time and time again I love the cards and stuff, but what I love most is his letters, hearing from him, how he's doing, etc. I know he hates to write, but given the situation, what other choice does he have?

In the past week I must have sent out three letters, five cards, and tons of pictures to him. I haven't gotten anything from him since Saturday. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll decide to actually write something :(

Kelly
don't send him anything until he writes to you. he'll get the hint

remind him that converstation is a two way street :)

lulu, I will, but he always tells me he hates writing. So I don't know what I am going to do anymore, maybe I shouldn't go to see him at vizo, and then I bet he will be writing everyday. But then that hurts me also, because I don't get to see him, so I guess its a no win situation. Well at least I received a letter today, so I am happy.

well, the way i see it, with them lock up, and we out here, espically if one does not get calls or visits, how is the relaitionship going to maintain?

My heart goes out to you hun, i wish you well

I am so cracking up right now!
We are all going through it, hu? I thought my husband was the only one who hated writing. There was a post on here many moons ago from an ex-con who said it was hard to write because nothing inside ever changes.

I think we don't care that nothing changes...we want to hear how much he loves us, and mushy stuff, right? Well, I guess we can't always get what we want. Bummer! :)

My husband and I made a deal...I get 2 letters a week...they don't have to be long at all...I just need to connect to him in some way like that. We compromised. He hates to write at all, and I want him to write loving, wonderful things every single day. HEE HEE. So...2 days a week, I get little notes...sometimes, letters...letting me in on the latest and greatest, asking about the kids, and one sentence of something sweet.

I know it sounds contrived, but it works. :)
I guess I can't complain now...I'm NOT the only one...let's not tell them though. :)
Wendy

mamawen, you got it, we don't care if nothing changes, we just like to hear from them, to see if they are doing fine, if they are alive and what not. Well I am going to try to get Louie to compromise, and that is cute that he write you something sweet in a sentence, how cute!

Ok I Can't Really See How They Can't Sit Down And Make Time To Write Even Though They Hate Writting But When They Where In The Box They Where Blowing Up The Mailbox And Forget About That Maildance Shit I Do A Dance When I Get One Lol

I get mail just about everyday becuz of my penpals and boo..I can hardly keep up and I am the one who is "busy".

whoops I clicked to fast..

Maybe you should tell him how much mail means to you..sometimes they think since we are out here we dont care to have mail. Sometimes you have do what it takes to get their attention.

:hee: My Hubbie is lazy on the writing so I have slacked off myself. Lately I have nothing much to say so I wait til I hear from him then respond. Besides, he calls just about every weekend.

Boy this must be an epidemic, mine writes but it seems like it takes forever to get here and I send them every day sometimes two or three.......But that' the DOC for you believe me I know

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :argh Boy this must be an epidemic, mine writes but it seems like it takes forever to get here and I send them every day sometimes two or three.......But that' the DOC for you believe me I know

babieboo, I have told him, and he told me he would write more.

Dawn, I told you they don't know how to act once they get out of confinement, when they are in confinement, they write off the chain. Once they get out, they have excuses about writing.

I agree with you all! lol! These excuses don't work for me. I write every day. Sometimes, I get two a week, rarely three, this week, none since Saturday, but had three phone calls in the last few days. But I think they should write a lot since we are busy and still have time to write them!

Kim48, I feel the same as you do, we do a lot more then they can ever think of doing in there.

You know if we stopped writing for a few days they would scream like howler monkeys. They need us too bad, and we're too stuck on them to punish them by not writing!

Listen girl, fair exchange ain't no robbery. :fb: If you want to have your letters reciprocated equally, then write him only in response to his letters, or initiate one to him and wait for him to respond. This will be very slow and won't work for some one like you (us) who want ongoing, stimulating relationships. Or, give (send) your letters to him unconditonally. Write him because that is what you love to do and how you express your love. His style might be different or he might be playing you, or both. I wouldn't be happy in a relationship that wasn't reciprocal. I write my man profusely, everyday. And he writes me profusely also. I have to have mail daily or I'll be sick. (I'm exxagerating, but only a little bit). If I go two days, I will have a subtle attitude. Usually by the third day, I am getting 2 letters and that soothes me. Now my husband and I might be obsessive compulsive and we definitely love real hard. And we are both very opinionated and articulate and expressive so we can go down through there with mail unlike most folks. But I think even less expressive people like your man, can write his own amount but be intense about it doing it daily, like we are intense about writing each other profusely daily. Personally, I think you are a giver and your man is a taker and it is time for you to re-evaluate the relationship. You are frustrated and not being loved the way you want to be loved. Where you going with that? Selfish men who take from us are our ruination. When you love someone, you do what is best for that person. What is best for you is that you get mail from him regularly. Is he loving you according to that formula? I bet you love him according to that formula. I bet you do everything for him, in terms of what is good for him. Alright girl, love yourself, you will get better results. Peace.:ham: :ham: :ham:







Do any of you ladies have the same problem as me? Well my man loves to receive letters from me, but hates to write back. I hate it, because just like he likes to hear from me, I like to hear from him. I write him a letter everyday, and I might if I'm lucky get the most 2 letters a week. Just wondering if anyone else had this same dilemma? ~ Steph

yeah, i had the same problem. i would write my baby 2-6 letters a day in the beginning. i absolutely adored writing him but i wasn't getting the same in return. i didn't think it was fair or right when i love letters just as much as he likes getting them. so i flip the script. i stopped writing for a whole week and the boy damn near cried. i told him so how do you like it now that the shoe is on the other foot. so he started writing me everyday. but i do agree there is some kind of delay with the mail system there cause he told me that he wrote me everyday one week and i hadn't received anything but then all the letters piled up on one day and same for him.

I think it really depends on the person. Scott loves to write i get as many letters as i can a week, but other men may not express themselves in that way. Maybe yall could explore other options?? Too bad mail is the cheapest though :( darnit.

well , as much as i would hate to say it. it's pretty much the oopisite, he sends me more letters than i do him. hes been in and out of the system just about his whole life so he's pretty good at communicating through paper, but he knows i love & miss him!

well it is pretty much unanimous these men need a class on letter writing in there it appears..

Celtie, your's wins the award for the best excuse, and i paraphrase, i am too busy reading your letters...=}

obviously, this is a national dilemna, and since all of us women are different, but our men across the board have writing disabilities....it is them not us!!!

well, that doesn't solve anything...i know...

i don't know, mine goes from 5 a week to 2 a week to one, then back up again...he of course gets totally bent out of shape if he receives 2 letters a week, even though mine can be compared to long short storys..

i have told him, "what am i waiting for if you don't write," since that is our only means of communication...then he meets my quota for a while, but, then starts slacking again..

some days i am unconditional, and others i am not...sometimes i slow my pace down in response to his lacking in effort...you know you do the best you can with what you got...

mine trys to convince me that it doesn't matter the quantity, but rather the quality...maybe in theory, but a empty mailbox is a lonely place...=} (sounds like a country song=})

i tell ya, i think we all have a lot of heart...
here is to us, "ladies in waiting...."
francis

oh, missingscttn,

very cute picture!!

francis, you got it, if they don't get enough letters, they snap, but if we dont get enough letters, they have an excuse.

My man gets in his funks and wont write. His excuse " i dont have time" or "its all the same here wall to wall fuck all" or " theres nothing new" . I have tried to not wirte but I just dont have the heart to do it. He freaks if he does not get regualr mail from me but its okay for to miss his letters.... I find now that we are down to our last 16 months he is getting better.

stevesboo22, Damn I am sorry to hear that, and I hope it gets even better for you!

Has the letters gotten any better for you guy? As for me, I think it has gotten a little better, but I bet I spoke too soon!

Louieslady,

Thanks! I hope he gets better too!! I hate it when he wont wirte!!

Well this has been a bad week for letters, I only received on and it was writen on Sunday of last week. I don't know what the hell to do anymore.

Louie's Lady, you're almost done with your time - if you can, try to chill on the letter thing. He's probably focused on coming home, and not into writing.

Yeah, I go through that too!
I wouldn't say he hates to write letters though. He likes to reply to my letters. I do understand that nothing going on in there that is really worthy writing about. I write letters about 3 or 4 times a week. I basically write about my day. He doesn't write very often, but he at least tries to send me a card once a month or sometimes more, just to remind me that he loves me! I do talk to him once a week, so I know he is doing alright.

My girlfriend lives in New Jersey and won't be back here in California until June 5th, 2004 and also, she isn't incarcerated. But, I write her a lot (2-4 times a week) and maybe I'll get a letter once every two months, if I'm lucky. We talk on the phone about once a week but yeah, I know what you mean. It pisses me off. But, I guess some people are just a little better when it comes to writing letters than others. It's still messed up. She's lucky I'm a lot more understanding than I use to be when it comes to shit like this. Hope you get more letters and I hope I do too.
Thanks for letting me share,
frankie

:pissed: Wow...I stepped into the right conversation! I only received one letter this week. He tells me he hasn't written yet because they do the same thing everyday, nothing changes so there isn't much to write about. We live on the outside, so we have more to talk about because we get to go to different places, do different things. Sometimes he says he just isn't in a writing mood, but then he gets in one and the letters come. He will start to write and the guys will come around hanging out and he can't get the "alone" time he wants to sit down and concentrate on letters. I just let him know how much I love getting his letters even if he really has nothing to say. I tell him to write to me about stuff from when he was young, things he hasn't told me about. This is a way I get to know him even better. I know how it is writing them all the time and not getting much back, but if you let them know you understand why they sometimes don't feel like writing, it takes the pressure off of them and they do write. Hope some of this helps eases y'alls mind. Also, I am thankful I found this site....eases some of my fears, answers some of my questions, lets me know that I am not alone.

Stephanie

MTcontary, your right girl, and you know what, I am getting over it, he will be home in 2 months, what more can I want.
MissFaust, I am sorry to hear that you are having the same problem as me, I hope things get better.
Frankie, I know exactly what you are going through, but I don't talk to my man on the phone, but I see him every weekend at vizo, so I guess that is better. Have you talked to your lady about writing letter? Have you told her how you feel? Well good luck and I hope things get better for you.
PaulsBabyGirl, how you explained what is going on in your situation, is the exact same as mine, when his dawgz in there come around, he can't write, he only writes me at night in the dark (don't ask me how, I have no idea)

I usually send my boyfriend a letter or card every other day. I'll be lucky if he writes me once a week... I think he feels as though he doesn't have much to write about other than what's going on in there but I'm not complaining.. Yet... But he normally calls me every few days so I'd rather talk to him than get letters anyways..

lani, Well girl your lucky, I don't get phone calls, the only thing I have to look forward to is his letters and visits on the weekend.

You know if we stopped writing for a few days they would scream like howler monkeys. They need us too bad, and we're too stuck on them to punish them by not writing!


LOl i wonder if that is a man thing

lol it probably is Lani.

I could not help myself LOL no offense guys

lol ur so cute.

LOL shucks, blushing LOL

I think a lot of times, they just don't really feel like they have anything to say. Like with us, we're out, and life is going on all around us...but there isn't too much going on with them in there. At least not things they want to share with us. Just tell him that you'd like to hear from him more often, even if its just to say Hi and I'm thinking about you.

Sugapie91382, that is what I tell him, and at vizo this weekend I talked to him more about it, and he said he is writing me more, now the problem is not him, it's the mail room. It takes about 4 days to get to me, and where he is at is 2 hours away. I just got to deal with it, and I think I am over it, because he is coming home soon.

Have you ladies received any letters lately? I hope so because I haven't!

Well I recieved a letter today and I loved it, have any of you ladies recieved any?

Do any of you ladies have the same problem as me? Well my man loves to receive letters from me, but hates to write back. I hate it, because just like he likes to hear from me, I like to hear from him. I write him a letter everyday, and I might if I'm lucky get the most 2 letters a week. Just wondering if anyone else had this same dilemma? ~ Steph
I write my baby's daddy everyday and only get two letters from him too. It's not that he hates to write back, but its' just that he doesn't have much to write about. We're on the outside, so we have a lot of things going on in our lives to talk about, while they don't. So be patient and cherish the letters you get. Also, just think about how much your letters mean to him. Don't write him in expectance of recieving letters back, but instead write him to show him your love n' support.

My honey has been in for 4 months, I write every other day, and he has sent a total of 6 letters the whole time he has been in so far...I have asked him to write or send pictures, our daughter loves getting little hi notes from him. I wish he would write more, but I know he doesn't have much new to say, and luckily we get to see him every weekend. I always seem to miss his calls too, I really hate that, but I still send him lots of letters and pictures so he can be as involved as possible right now. I would love to get the letters, but as long as we can visit him, I don't mind not getting them.

up until these past two months i havent had a problem but all of a sudden im lucky if i get two letters amonth. i honestly feel like somethings wrong, im starting to consider it a red flag. only cause i was so used to receiving like three letters a week, even a few cards just to say that he was thinking of me. the last card ive received from him was on mothers day. im thinking i need to go see him tomorrow and ask "whats going on?"

I know how you feel.... I write him everyday and only get a letter or two a week in return. He writes over the span of two/three days and then mails it. He tells me he loves getting my letters and I love getting his. I'd rather get a long letter thats all deep with his thoughts than little letters everyday. Besides, he draws on my envelopes and it takes him awhile to draw n' color them. I treasure every letter my boo sends me.

Rider4life, You are right and now that my man is home thats what he tells me. He says it the same sht just a different day in there and there is nothing new from day to day.

aloneandblue, the visits are what kept me going also, because if I didn't get a phone call, a letter or a visit I would have died. Well I hope things get better and he starts to write more. I wish you both the best!!

Dmnzgrl, Well I really don't know what to say about that. I hope things get better for you and maybe you do need to visit and see whats going on. Well I wish you the best!

Rider4life, I cherished every letter Louie ever wrote me and I still reaad them over now. I read them to him to remind him the things he use to tell me.

I have boxes of letters my husband has written. I still get 5 a week. Once in a while if he's in a bad mood he will send a card with a little in it but it's mostly letters. He knows I need them. These things are very important to me. If I could see him every weekend it might be different but we are visiting every other week and I need the mail. I don't care if he writes the same thing over and over and he knows it. I just need to hear from him.

I know exactly what you mean I do the same write everyday and if I'm lucky I get 2 a week.... so what I started doing that worked I stopped writing for a while and it worked for sometime. try it!! plus he don't write because he calls everyother day.. so his excuse id i don'tr have nothing to say...:angry: Do any of you ladies have the same problem as me? Well my man loves to receive letters from me, but hates to write back. I hate it, because just like he likes to hear from me, I like to hear from him. I write him a letter everyday, and I might if I'm lucky get the most 2 letters a week. Just wondering if anyone else had this same dilemma? ~ Steph

lol i have the same problem my man hates to write but sure does love recieving letters from me.. he promised to write atleats 2 x's a week.. he says i have alot to say im on the outside and that hes inside, and he dont have much to say.. i guess its true but damn answer the q'z i ask and that can start u kno what i mean.. damn recievinq his letters make me so happy damnnnn :/