View Full Version : Why do women deal with this


chaerfan
01-10-2011, 10:53 PM
why do women stick with men in prison. I am a male, never been locked up. However, I have a friend who has been. I am 24 and he is 29. Thhis guy is great with women, but he makes bad decisions. I mean at bars, he can get numbers, kisses and even free drinks from women.

Why do women stick with men in jail? I just do not understand. There are plenty of young attractive guys out there...

lovelyme
01-10-2011, 11:12 PM
it has nothing to do with wanting to be with a man in jail. u do not chose who to love, im sure most woman here are not looking to find a man in jail, but we just decide to stick by our man through the good and bad, and that is true love. most of us do not judge our loved ones because real love does not judge . i do not go around making sure i date someone thats in jail or been to jail. oh and being in jail does not make u a bad person, i bet ur friend gets women because he has a good personality and has nothing to do with him being in jail. i was with my man for 3 years before he was locked up, and just because he got locked up im not gonna turn my back on him. so i do not consider me being stuck to someone in jail, but in love with someone who made poor choices, and hey dont we all!!!

JHavokStar
01-10-2011, 11:17 PM
why do women stick with men in prison. I am a male, never been locked up. However, I have a friend who has been. I am 24 and he is 29. Thhis guy is great with women, but he makes bad decisions. I mean at bars, he can get numbers, kisses and even free drinks from women.

Why do women stick with men in jail? I just do not understand. There are plenty of young attractive guys out there...


I didn't choose to be with my boyfriend knowing he'd be going to jail. Yes, there are hundreds and thousands of young, attractive men in the world, but when the one you want is behind bars, you stick with him. I'm a very faithful and loyal person, before he went to jail on revocation we both promised each other we'd be there for each other at the end of this - I could say the same for someone who's going to war, why stay with someone who's going to the Middle East? They could get killed, why go through it all? Because you love them, plain and simple... your lovers decisions may land them in a bad situation or scary situation (for all those couples dealing with going off to war - I'd imagine its scarier than prison!) but you stick with them no matter what, because you love them.

chaerfan
01-10-2011, 11:28 PM
This is where i do not get women. My friend who is about 29, is great with women. He just has a charm even i am jealous of, but he also has been in jail a few times. Maybe its just me? Honestly, some women are no better than the men they love even in prison..

NurseDown
01-10-2011, 11:29 PM
The other ladies did a good job summing it up. Also there are women who have been with their men for longer than 5 years, expecting children, already have children, married, have grandchildren, ect...

Tuesday123
01-10-2011, 11:35 PM
A few women have chosen to sincerely answer your question from their heart, and you still dont seem to get it.

Dont be surprised when the sincerety turns to disdain








This is where i do not get women. My friend who is about 29, is great with women. He just has a charm even i am jealous of, but he also has been in jail a few times. Maybe its just me? Honestly, some women are no better than the men they love even in prison..

lovelyme
01-10-2011, 11:35 PM
This is where i do not get women. My friend who is about 29, is great with women. He just has a charm even i am jealous of, but he also has been in jail a few times. Maybe its just me? Honestly, some women are no better than the men they love even in prison..



ADVICE: stop wasting time wondering, and being jeolous of ur friend! that might be why u have a hard time getting women (insicure). yes it just u, because being in jail has nothing to do with getting women. lol. and ur right some women are no better the their loved ones in prison, they are equal, and i feel great for being there for him no matter what!!!!! oh and this is not a website for u to find out why u cant find love like the man in jail can, u just need counseling!!

chaerfan
01-10-2011, 11:47 PM
honestly, where is the pride being with a man in jail??? Ever sinnce i was a kid, i felt women always loved the " bad guy" and you women prove it. I do not mean to be rude but i find that a lot of women who love thier men in jail seem very dedicated. I do not think the men are the same way though. Are you sure he loves you?

bunniRidge
01-10-2011, 11:50 PM
The fact that a couple ladies responded to you, and you still didn't get it, really does show that the problem might be you.

You asked a question, and got an answer. I'm sorry you don't like it.

There are a lot of women who choose not to stick with their men in prison, there are a lot of women who never intended to fall for a guy in prison, they were just trying to be a good friend.

Those of us here that are choosing to be with a man in prison, it has to do with who he is as a man, because he has something to offer us that no one else ever could.

We don't claim to be better than anyone. We're just us, making the best of what we got. And the pride? The pride comes from being true to ourselves and loving the person we're supposed to instead of abandoning them when they are in their time of need.

Oh, and yeah, I'm sure he loves me. Why I'm sure of that is none of your damn business.

chaerfan
01-10-2011, 11:59 PM
again, i do not question whether you women love your man. The better question is, if he loved you, why did he choose to break the law? Honestly, i have never been in a relation where a woman loved me, but if i was fortunate enough, i know i would never want to go to jail..

you have to question these things...... I honestly would love to buy a woman i love a gift, have a child with her. I could get beat up in front of her but never would i want to go to jail. Maybe the men you love have issues???

Tuesday123
01-11-2011, 12:00 AM
My guy may be a "bad guy" according to his jacket, but he has been the kindest most gentle man I have ever known, If I had to profile him from a relationship standpoint, he treated me far better than my ex husband of ten years who never even got so much as a parking ticket.

I just think your friend has charisma that you dont, and that has nothing to with prison.

Your best bet is to start listening to women instead of arguing with them and Im sure you will learn a thing or two.

I know your type of guy, and I would be resentful too if I was a guy. Start doing your homework, and learn what women want.

Being nice is dandy, but we dont want a doormat. Find a balance.











honestly, where is the pride being with a man in jail??? Ever sinnce i was a kid, i felt women always loved the " bad guy" and you women prove it. I do not mean to be rude but i find that a lot of women who love thier men in jail seem very dedicated. I do not think the men are the same way though. Are you sure he loves you?

Has26
01-11-2011, 12:09 AM
Of course we are dedicated!! Our loved ones are in there!! Why wouldn't we be? Sticking with your loved ones in their time of need, for better or for worst, through the ups and downs is what should be expected! When you love someone you love them unconditionally. No one is perfect. If anything this site is a testament to all of the faithful and loyal men and women out there that are trying to get some type of normality in their lives while dealing with the unfortunate circumstances of their loved ones being incarcerated. I didn't chose for my fiance to be imprisoned, but it happened. My first instinct was to remain by his side and support him, because that's what you do when you truly love a person. As for your friend, I think you should worry less about him...and more about yourself instead.

Tuesday123
01-11-2011, 12:09 AM
Once in the stystem, its not just about making a choice to go back,

I just had a conversation with another women visiting her bf, He was in on a violation because they found a red hat at his house during a parole search.

Your really going deep, and I dont think its a good idea when you still dont even have the ability to embrace these women which will make it really hard to get an honest answer with the way you are approaching them, putting them on the defensive is not going to help you unless that was your goal all along, and further leads me to ask, what brought you here? Im starting to feel you are leaving something out. You didnt come here just because of your friend did you?







again, i do not question whether you women love your man. The better question is, if he loved you, why did he choose to break the law? Honestly, i have never been in a relation where a woman loved me, but if i was fortunate enough, i know i would never want to go to jail..

you have to question these things...... I honestly would love to buy a woman i love a gift, have a child with her. I could get beat up in front of her but never would i want to go to jail. Maybe the men you love have issues???

JGOeffner
01-11-2011, 12:11 AM
Sorry Chaerfan, it sounds like you have issues of your own instead of being on here judging the issues of others. Stop hating and maybe love and happiness will follow.
Our lives are not for you to understand.

chaerfan
01-11-2011, 12:17 AM
To be honest, i never have witnessed a loving relation close to me. Parents...never. However, i found this site by random. I just think, no matter how you try to hide it, your love is not beind rewarded in return.

He has 1 option at love, you have many. He will tell you what he wants to hear. My pa was like my friend, good at the moment but when things became tough, than they just disappear........

Tuesday123
01-11-2011, 12:22 AM
Im sorry you were never blessed with a loving relationship, but that does not give you reason to come here and judge these women.

Maybe you need to be here to learn about unconditional love. Just a thought.







To be honest, i never have witnessed a loving relation close to me. Parents...never. However, i found this site by random. I just think, no matter how you try to hide it, your love is not beind rewarded in return.

He has 1 option at love, you have many. He will tell you what he wants to hear. My pa was like my friend, good at the moment but when things became tough, than they just disappear........

Tuesday123
01-11-2011, 12:26 AM
I just think, no matter how you try to hide it, your love is not beind rewarded in return. .


These kind of comments arent going to get you very far in here

Rox73
01-11-2011, 12:27 AM
again, i do not question whether you women love your man. The better question is, if he loved you, why did he choose to break the law? Honestly, i have never been in a relation where a woman loved me, but if i was fortunate enough, i know i would never want to go to jail..

you have to question these things...... I honestly would love to buy a woman i love a gift, have a child with her. I could get beat up in front of her but never would i want to go to jail. Maybe the men you love have issues???

It's always the same sentiment with guys like you (yeah I'm stereotyping you ;)) - either you feel you have to be all mush and red roses (one extreme) OR *gasp* the "BAD guy" (the other extreme).

Issues? Yeah they have issues but as someone else said, there are anti-social, alcoholic, violent bastards all over the place that have never spent a day in jail. Now run along little boy and deal with your own issues :)

chaerfan
01-11-2011, 12:30 AM
i am not judging, just adding my 2 cents. How can a father be proud if his daughter was with a conivct? Explain?

I do not mean to be mean, but lets be real. Why not be with a man who makes 60 grand a year as opposed to someone who makes $10 a month?

3nch4ntr3ss
01-11-2011, 12:32 AM
chaerfan, Who are you trying to Judge and put down? Our men or us for sticking by them?

Don't come here and hate on us just because you are Jealous!

JGOeffner
01-11-2011, 12:40 AM
I love my husband, unconditionally. That's what LOVE is. My Dad can be proud of me for I have an open and pure heart. I don't judge others and I know forgiveness. I'm happy and healthy and money isn't everything. Some of the richest men in the world are worthless. Cheaters, abusers.
It sounds like you are young and immature and need some more of life's lessons. Get some experience with love and life, then come back and talk to us.
Don't you wish that you had a woman who could understand you and all your faults. Who loved you dispite of your choices you made, right or wrong. Loved you even if you lived on the street with no money to your name or a computer to get on here with.
Don't hate us. Hate breeds hate.

akaptrosa
01-11-2011, 12:46 AM
I think this is something you will not understand until you get a little more life experience under your belt. You may never understand or be able to wrap your mind around it! That's okay.

My needs do not equal your needs. My desires are not yours and vice versa. Why worry about what makes others happy? Find your own happiness!!!!

Happiness, to me, is not having to worry about him leaving the toilet seat up. :thumbsup:

ladyknuckle$
01-11-2011, 12:47 AM
Its all about true love , not what income they earn. Its obvious they can't earn 60 grand a year they are in jail. I feel like you are disrespectful to us and our men. You really need to stop. Don't judge what you can't understand. True love will come to you soon. By putting up your lack of understanding on this site,
doesn't help love come to you any faster.

chaerfan
01-11-2011, 12:54 AM
the only disrespectful people have been you women. I have braught up valid points but you women only seem to judge petty things.

Caged Tiger
01-11-2011, 01:25 AM
My man has given me more love, support and emotional pay than anyone I have ever known. He was like that before he went in & when you say "for better or for worse" we are just in the "for worse" phase. Love does not turn off because a door slams behind them. While they cannot give physical presence, I've never seen men show their love with so little resources than these men. Imagine they love they could show if they DID have $60k a year! Yes, they DO love the people that stand by them through their tough times. Yes, there are genuine bad guys in there, but there are some insanely amazing men in there, too.

I dated "normal" guys who abused me. Normal nice guys that bored the crap out of me. Rich guys who didn't spend a dime on me. Famous guys who didn't see my heart or my soul. What my guy gives me can't be bought at a florist or jewelry store. No fancy job or car could make what we have any richer. You can't force it. When you find your soul mate, you know. I hope some day you will know that you found what we already have...

We are a strong bunch of women with a whole lotta love!

Caged Tiger
01-11-2011, 01:32 AM
On a funny note:
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...

Who do you think fills their Honey Bun account? We do. Of course they love us! ;)

Geauxin'KraZee
01-11-2011, 01:37 AM
WTF is this and who the hell are you to come on here and call us rude? You started this freakin' shit and now you can't handle it because we aren't cowering to your bullshit ?! Well go find someone else to aggravate ! We women understand each other, we don't need the likes of you to understand shit about us ! Dude GO AWAY !

3nch4ntr3ss
01-11-2011, 01:40 AM
These are all things you have posted in this thread.

Honestly, some women are no better than the men they love even in prison.

honestly, where is the pride being with a man in jail??? Ever sinnce i was a kid, i felt women always loved the " bad guy" and you women prove it.

I just think, no matter how you try to hide it, your love is not beind rewarded in return

He has 1 option at love, you have many. He will tell you what he wants to hear.

when things became tough, than they just disappear

How can a father be proud if his daughter was with a conivct?

These Statements Are Not INSULTING??
(did anyone find these statements to be merely inquiring and not down right insulting and judgmental?)

LadyBlackz
01-11-2011, 01:49 AM
Wow...poor thing...you are completly OBLIVIOUS that you just walked into the Lion's Den. Your gonna end up getting some answers that you don't like. So I give you some advice...quit while you still can. Because believe me...it's taking all I have, and I'm sure the rest of ladies too, right now not to tell you exactly what I think and make you cry.

So...stop judging us and start listening to us. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar sweetie.
As for me...I would live in a cardboard box on the corner with my man if that's what it ever came to. He would NEVER let that happen to us but that's how much I care for him. We were together 3 years before he got locked up. Now your question is valid about "How can he love you and do something to go to jail?" We ask ourselves that question EVERYDAY. You have NOOOOO idea. The answer is (well my answer is)...IT DOESN'T MATTER. Why dwell in the past about things that already happened that you have ABSOLUTLY NO CONTROL OVER. What's done is done. We love them not because they are locked up, we love them because they make us happy. Have you ever had that feeling of butterflies in your stomache when you see that one girl that you like?? That's how it is for us...EVERY PHONE CALL, EVERY LETTER, EVERY VISIT, EVERY I LOVE YOU THROUGH THE PHONE, EVERY PICTURE WE SEE OF HIM HANGING ON THE WALL, EVERYTIME WE HEAR OR THINK ABOUT HIS NAME, EVERYTIME WE GET A QUICK SMELL OF HIS COLOGNE IN OUR HOUSES...I Love my man for that. He still gives me butterflies. THAT'S how I know I'm not wasting my time waiting on him.

So as far as you...I tell you the same thing I tell everyone...Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to, or that have answers that YOU CANT HANDLE OR RESPECT.
So I suggest you change your tone sweetie or these ladies will eat you alive before you know what hit you.
Latez.

chaerfan
01-11-2011, 01:53 AM
lol, make me cry........

LadyBlackz
01-11-2011, 01:57 AM
lol, make me cry........

Hey I'm just telling u the truth. If you wanna act like a child...we can treat you like a child. Theres alot of Moms on here that I'm sure would have NO PROBLEM putting you in your place. :) I told ya...quit while you still can. Your not gonna like where this goes...just sayin...:rolleyes:
No wonder you don't have a woman...:rolleyes:

Geauxin'KraZee
01-11-2011, 01:59 AM
Ever here of cyber bullying ? That's what you're doing and you need to knock it off !!

Geauxin'KraZee
01-11-2011, 02:01 AM
I think he needs a spanking ! Nah forget it he'd probably enjoy it too much !

LadyBlackz
01-11-2011, 02:02 AM
I think he needs a spanking ! Nah forget it he'd probably enjoy it too much !

OH GOD! DONT OPEN UP THAT DOOR! :lol: crap!

Geauxin'KraZee
01-11-2011, 02:20 AM
I woke up from a bad dream and was crying my heart out when I came on PTO to talk about it and WTF the first thing I see is this thread ! Didn't need that at all ! My friends are here and I didn't come on here to be trashed or insulted by someone who is probably laughing their ass off !

Arson's_Girl
01-11-2011, 02:23 AM
Ok yeah sure a lot of guys are jerks and dogs. But there are some out there that are true to you and honestly love you. Just because they are behind bars doesn't make them love you any less nor should it make you love them less. Sure what they did might have been wrong, but hey every one makes mistakes right? A person should know when the right one comes along for them. They are human being's too and why shouldn't a girl be able to love an inmate? Every one has there moments where they did wrong or was at the wrong place at the wrong time. So just because they are in prison that shouldn't mean that we should just drop them and not deal with them no more. Imagine being in there shoes. Would you want your girl to leave you just because you made a mistake and got sent to prison?

alwayshim
01-11-2011, 02:39 AM
I don't think he was all that bad just curious. I wonder the samethings about certain posts. I didn't choose my situation I was already in it. Would I intentionally seek out a guy in prison HELL NO!! Yes I'd take a man making 60 grand over putting out 200 hundred a month for commissary. Like I said if I hadn't been in this I never would have sought out a guy in prison.

GeckoBrat
01-11-2011, 03:12 AM
Not that my answer will change the way you think but maybe I am a bit different than the others who have posted to this point. I met my man after he was already in. He saw my picture because my Best friend was in and he asked if he could write me.
Through those letters we have become very much IN LOVE. Yes maybe SOME of the things he says are said just because they are what I want to hear but a good man will do that from time to time just to make his woman smile.
I have had 10 months of happiness through letters, phone calls and visits and it was a much needed change from 15 yrs of a man who was never in Jail but put me in a jail of my own by being abusive emotionally and finally physically.

My man has made mistakes that I do not judge , just as I do not judge the mistakes of people who have never spent even one day making amends for their mistakes.

I can love this man because he shows me love, I can give this man a chance because I Love him..........Just the same as I did when I chose a man 20 yrs ago, married him and eventually divorced him.......Because Love is a chance worth taking no matter where you find it.

ZGM
01-11-2011, 03:24 AM
Cuz i loved him before he went in and him going to prison didnt just suddenly change my feelings for him....i love him wether hes in or out but i would obviously want him out here with me

LifeTraveler
01-11-2011, 05:47 AM
Ladies, ladies, methinks some of you may have fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Sit back, take a breather. We all here know why we are with are men that are incarcerated. We all know that they are just as worthy of love as anybody else on the planet.

Don't feed the alligators. :D

BlueEyedEllie
01-11-2011, 06:29 AM
personally,i think you guys are being way to harsh.Yes he is misguided and his assumptions are clearly off base however all the rude and sarcastic posts back are no better.Obviously he WISHES he had a loving woman.I think he is lonely,and a little on the immature side but being rude back isn't helping things.He asked a question.regardless of his motives i think you should either answer respectfully or if you can't,keep it moving.

In answer to the OP'S question.It's very heartbreaking to have a loved one in prison.you really have no idea.These women are very STRONG women,not weak.Many took wedding vows which specifically state,"for better or for worse.."and many take their vows very seriously.

Your friend may just be a smooth talker.his type will ALWAYS get women easily.It's all about their "charm",prison really has nothing to do with it.

ilovebigg
01-11-2011, 06:29 AM
Strations with this boy,but i mean can you fault him for an ignorance obviously learned from a life time of his own pain and jelousy.here he is a grown ass man worrying about what his friend is receiving instead of worrying if his friend is ok in jail.the women here at pto are strong individuals who show human emotions as the rest of the world does but are always standing and there for the men in their lives.ladies u know our circumstances do not nor will they ever define who u or you man r or will b.dont let a man whos hasnt experienced that unconditional love that only a woman can give to a man when she is trully in love.no u dont have to justify anything as far as he is concerned,clearly hes looking for answers that we have but he jus doesnt want to hear.we cant show or tell him how to find love.i just pitty the fool cause because he wants what so many ppl have n no women that i know after reading this wudnt look his damn way.i wish him well cause he needs it....

To my ladies holding their man down and staying true to him and ur self...there is cheers due because u are doing what a true woman does and u know ur worth!!!

LoveBuggy
01-11-2011, 06:38 AM
I smell something and it aint pleasant

lucy83
01-11-2011, 07:07 AM
i am not judging, just adding my 2 cents. How can a father be proud if his daughter was with a conivct? Explain?

I do not mean to be mean, but lets be real. Why not be with a man who makes 60 grand a year as opposed to someone who makes $10 a month?

I have not read all of the posts but I wanted to add my 2 cents.....

If everyone had a full choice of who they loved then everyone would be happy. As you stated you have never been loved by a woman, I am quite sure that is not by choice.
There are many different circumstances as to why someone is incarcerated and other than that 'label', all of these women and men are in entirely separate relationships.....ones that cannot be defined the same way.
There is also men on here that have wives that are incarcerated as well. And they stand by their women because they love them.
A man in prison is still able to come out and turn his life around. And a man that makes 60k a year could still end up in jail.
Some people haven't had the best upbringing. Even as you said previously, you're parents didn't give you much love. Maybe the reason you have never been loved by a woman is because you don't know how to accept love or give it. That would be an issue you carry with you. One day a woman that does love you will come along and help you get through your issues. If she loved you she wouldn't give up on you and help you through any ups or downs.
Whether making your parents proud is an issue or not, everyone is their own person and should follow their path, not the one their parents want for them.

Does it matter if someone can buy you things or support you financially? I don't believe love can be bought, money has no basis when it comes to two personalities and what is formed between two people's feelings.

It sounds to me like your friend is a player, and guess what? There are plenty of players on the outside that have never gone to jail. It has nothing to do with imprisonment that makes your friend get women, it has to do with the fact that he probably has game.
God forbid you ever go to jail, but if something in your life happens to turn that way, wouldn't you love, admire, respect and appreciate a woman who was standing by your side during your hard times? Or would you just use her and walk all over her and put her down for loving you?

Hisoneandonly
01-11-2011, 07:30 AM
why do women stick with men in prison. I am a male, never been locked up. However, I have a friend who has been. I am 24 and he is 29. Thhis guy is great with women, but he makes bad decisions. I mean at bars, he can get numbers, kisses and even free drinks from women.

Why do women stick with men in jail? I just do not understand. There are plenty of young attractive guys out there...

Well for me I stick with my husband b/c our vows said for better or worse...not until one of us makes a mistake and gets locked up. My husband is my lover and my best friend.the other half of my heart and soul, he is a balance for me

.. I do know there is one main thing about my husband different from the other guys I have dated (aside from our vows and children:p). I am very strong and independent and can at times be a b and a bully, I was actually thinking about this this morning...its something I need to change...and my husband respects me, never raised a hand to me in anger...charming sweet, nice guy...but unlike some guys, he doesn't let me push him around...which is one of the biggest things that attracts me to him. He has a huge amount of confidence as well, he is almost cocky which is a turn off for some but I like it..But that is why I am with my husband.

This might sound weird but maybe you are too nice?

Hugaboom
01-11-2011, 07:32 AM
Many of us including myself had relationships that existed far beyond this prison experience. Yes, him putting himself in a position to be put in prison was an incredibly selfish act. That being done I'm sure that if you were lucky enough to find a loving woman that could accept you despite your flaws, you'd hope she'd be willing to stand next to you even when you are at your worst. His addiction was his worst, it does not make him unloveble nor does it mean that he loves me any less.

You should never assume that you'd never get yourself put in prison. Sometimes there are situations that occur and even the best men and women are caught in the crosshairs. Not everyone made foolish decisions led by drug addictions to get where they are. Do not mislead yourself into believing that only bad men go to jail. Many are good, loving family men that may have even gotten where they are trying to protect that family.

kindergirl
01-11-2011, 09:12 AM
Ladies::troll:

However, I for one feel that he needs to grow the hell up and start taking some responsibility for his own actions. How in the hell are you living your life worried about what someone else is doing? Maybe you are jealous b/c you want your friend in more than a "friendly" way and he is not returning your feelings so you feel the need to come here and trash him.

Furthermore, Im going to tell you like I tell me kids: Do NOT ask for opinion and then shit talk what I said! More than a few women on here have tried to help you, but instead of you listening to them and actually hearing what they have to say, you wanna keep talking. News Flash: No women likes to be ignored! Thats what you're doing.

I can assure you that if you proceed into a relationship in the same manner in which you have done here, you will never experience what "our" men have: TRUE LOVE

Now if you wouldnt mind: STFD & STFU :thumbsup:

chaerfan
01-11-2011, 11:31 AM
i struck a nerve with some i see. Perhaps i am not the one who is insecure. Btw, guys totally say and act differently infront of their boys than a woman. In my view, how they act infront of their boys paints a better picture of who they are. When they are with their women, well we know what they want than.

HisSexyLove
01-11-2011, 11:33 AM
love is love you stand by them through the bad and the good no matter what through distance and time, them metal bars, losing they job, it doesn't matter- love prevails all that- you can't just walk a way from love because something bad happens- what kind of love does that!? Not real love...

tee.dot.q
01-11-2011, 11:44 AM
With all due respect - it really has no bearing on anyones life but the person involved in the relationship as to why they choose to wait. There are many different reasons, most of them relative to being in love with the person.

The loved ones of inmates have a hard enough time dealing with life on a day to day basis. PTO is a place of support and respite from the judgement. Putting our members on the defensive about why they wait is not the purpose of this site.

All the best

Tee

myfreedom2010
01-11-2011, 12:06 PM
i struck a nerve with some i see. Perhaps i am not the one who is insecure. Btw, guys totally say and act differently infront of their boys than a woman. In my view, how they act infront of their boys paints a better picture of who they are. When they are with their women, well we know what they want than.

Well hello there honey:rolleyes: I would like to flip the coin - what about an ex-con (woman) for a girlfriend - is that allowed:confused:

You have said a lot here - and none really amounts to anything - lets see you have

Daddy Issues
Mommy Issues
Girl Issues (can't get one)
Problem with Ex Con's

We all make mistakes in our lives - I don't think you can realistically sit at your computer and ask this questions - You could be making $60k outside and tomorrow in Prison making .45 per hour - it is what it is....

You seem to have a problem with these woman loving their men - without regard to the fact that some had these relationships prior to going to jail/prison - so if you are asking about LOVE wouldn't you EXPECT these woman to LOVE their men unconditionally or they should just drop them and run to you????:confused: Please help me here.....

I guess I deserved my husband to leave me after six months locked up for another woman in the church right:confused: B/C I am an Ex-Con right;)

Better off today without him and I would venture to say you just have no life and love this attention don't you;):)

I hope you find your "true love" and she never goes to prison!:D

Temeron0926
01-11-2011, 12:10 PM
I believe we don't get to choose who we fall in love with, it just happens. I certainly never intended to get involved with a man in prison. I was doing my cousin a favor by writing to a friend of hers. I imagine there are women who 'look' for someone who is incarcerated, tho I don't believe they do it intentionally.

Most women are attracted to a "bad boy" at some time or another in their life, a lot just don't act on that attraction. It is hard to explain, and unless you have been in this situation, no one would ever be able to make you understand it.

As for my husband, the attraction is about WHO he is, not WHERE he is.

Temeron0926
01-11-2011, 12:12 PM
This is where i do not get women. My friend who is about 29, is great with women. He just has a charm even i am jealous of, but he also has been in jail a few times. Maybe its just me? Honestly, some women are no better than the men they love even in prison..


Insulting us is not going to get your questions answered any faster or better. Try a bit of respect.


I do not mean to be mean, but lets be real. Why not be with a man who makes 60 grand a year as opposed to someone who makes $10 a month?

It's not about the money, it is about LOVE, which, from your posts, I see you have no comprehension of.

tearfallzbreak
01-11-2011, 12:26 PM
Wow this is getting a little nutty. It's hard to hear someone approach a topic like this. You came to prison talk with kind of a cluelessness of what we go through. Many of us I'm sure would love to have not gone this route but we are loyal and support our men And women. It's not for you to understand until I. Happens to you then maybe some sense will come into your head.

matthewsgirl
01-11-2011, 12:31 PM
why do women stick with men in prison. I am a male, never been locked up. However, I have a friend who has been. I am 24 and he is 29. Thhis guy is great with women, but he makes bad decisions. I mean at bars, he can get numbers, kisses and even free drinks from women.

Why do women stick with men in jail? I just do not understand. There are plenty of young attractive guys out there...


We wouldn't just stand by ANY man while they are in prison. I stand by my husband because he is the love of my life. It has nothing to do with finding a young available man to occupy myself with, it has to do with the overpowering love and dedication we have for each other. We cannot imagine our lives without each other, and a love this strong can overcome any obstacle. I believe a lot of the ladies here will back me up on this.

It sounds to me like you have never experience this kind of life-changing love for another person, so until you do, please don't judge us for that which you could not possibly understand. When it happens for you it will hit you like a brick wall, a flood of joy, passion, strength and powerlessness all at the same time. Then just maybe you can understand the power of an all-consuming love.

patchouli
01-11-2011, 12:33 PM
I believe its time to stop with the insults. We know why we're here.....we also know that others, not in this situation, don't undertand it either. :shrug: Truth is, they don't have to understand it, but thye DO have to respect it.

PTO-110524
01-11-2011, 12:39 PM
Policy reminders:

• PTO Community Purpose:
The purpose of the Prison Talk Online community is Prisoner & Family Support, Information and Assistance. While we welcome people with other view points seeking to learn more, anything beyond friendly questions will NOT be tolerated. PTO is not a forum open to debating whether or not anyone should be in prison, should prisoners and their families have rights, etc. Anyone who is hostile to our purpose will be immediately blocked from the community and all of their posts will be deleted. This will be the ONLY WARNING and no notice will be given.

• “Freedom of Speech”:
While we believe very much in the freedom of speech & expression, you DO NOT have an absolute right to say whatever you want in this community. Anything that goes against our core beliefs and the purpose for which this community was designed may not be allowed. Posts and comments that are meant to incite conflicts between members or outside parties are strictly prohibited. PTO Administration has the absolute right to edit, modify, close or delete any content found in this community. While this rarely, if ever happens, we will not tolerate individuals or groups creating problems with the overall membership.

• Abuse / Flaming / Derogatory Comments:
Abusive Comments, Flaming, or derogatory insults or comments are strictly against the rules. If you disagree with another member’s point of view, do so in a mature and civil manner. If someone posts to discuss their personal problems or seeks help from other forum members, please do not respond unless you have something positive or helpful to add. If you find yourself being flamed or insulted by another member, please do not dignify that person with a response. Notify a moderator and let us handle it. If you feel you must respond to a flame or insult directly, please do NOT do so on the board. Use Private Messaging, but make sure you do NOT threaten any member.

• Trolling / Inciting Conflict:
“Trolling” or making posts with the intention of creating problems in any area of this community is strictly prohibited. This includes registering an alternative ID for the sole purpose of creating problems on the forums. “Troll IDs” will be locked immediately and permanently, and the primary account will be banned. Members that visit PTO only to participate in “conflict” threads may have their account temporarily or permanently closed. All trolls will be IP banned from our servers.

matthewsgirl
01-11-2011, 12:42 PM
i struck a nerve with some i see. Perhaps i am not the one who is insecure. Btw, guys totally say and act differently infront of their boys than a woman. In my view, how they act infront of their boys paints a better picture of who they are. When they are with their women, well we know what they want than.

Who are you to tell us who our men are?! Boys from such a young age are conditioned to hide their emotions, not to cry and to put up a front to mask how they really feel at the risk of being vulnerable. Yes, they act differently with their friends than they do with us. Mostly because they act a fool with the boys to show that they are "REAL MEN" and not vulnerable in the face of danger and adversity. The fact is that the times when they are putting up a front for the boys are the times when they have not done something stupid enough to get themsleves arrested, nto when thy're home with their lady who makes sure they act right! And after their arrest 99% of his "boys" leave him there to rot, while we pick up the pieces and dedicate our lives to him, because only we know who the REAL MAN is behind that mask.

"Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged" Let this be a lesson to you, and watch how you are talking to these women on here. These women along with myself deal with so much day to day, we don't need to hear your ignorant point of view. If you don't have something nice to say, shut up and get the hell off OUR forum!

PTO-110524
01-11-2011, 01:00 PM
Since the reminders by staff are going unheeded, this thread is going nowhere, so it's now closed.