:)

Hey y'all,

Just wanted to say hello. I'm new to this and experiencing alot.

I have had a recent experience that lasted about 4 1/2 years with the Arizona

Judicial system and am just now starting to put things into prospective.

Take care all and have a great day!

I dont quite understand your post ...what kind of experiance ???...and new to what part ....A loved one in Az or ???explain a litte

Okay, here's how it went. I lived with a guy for 11 years when I was younger. We split upand both went our seperate ways. (no children between us) I got married as did he. he moved out of state with his new wife and even had a daughter.
9 years after we were apart, his family called me and said that he was in county jail and could I go and see him and take him some $ as his family was all out of state and they would reimburse me. I did hust that and that was 4 and 1/2 years ago. His wife divorced him as he was in prison. I divorced my husband and we decided tog ive our relationship another try. I do and always have loved him. Anyway, stood by him financially, emotionally and morally for his sentance. I vistited almost every weekend, sent $ and even sent birthday and anniversary cards to his ex trying to amend his relationship with her. However, she wrote to him a total of about half a dozen times while he was incarcerated stating she wanted nothing to do with. When we finally made the committment to each other make a go of our relationship again and his time of release got closer. She wrote to him and said she wanted her marriage back. To make a long story short, the day he was released (January 6, 2004) He informed me that he had a bus ticket to Missouri and he was going back to her. To date , I have not heard from him and have become quite bitter about the whole ordeal. I stod by him for over 4 years, so why did she win him back? I dont quite understand your post ...what kind of experiance ???...and new to what part ....A loved one in Az or ???explain a litte

I really feel bad for you ....thats awful that he used you this way ....and especially the wife ...but I guess we dont know what kind of relationship she had with him ...and maybe you are better off with out him ...because I bet you the minute things go wrong with them and it will he will be trying to contact you ...but once bitten you will know better...and as for the helping him ...just know you did a noble thing ...with a pure heart ...and I always say about my guy when people tell me what if he leaves you when hes out (in 2yrs ) and I always say ..what I am doing is because its what I want ..and if things dont work out I only have myself to blame ...nobody forces me to wait nobody makes me do anything I dont want to do ...I have pure intentions and for some reason God wants me to go through this experiance and I have learned alot ...about myself in this time apart ..like I can live on my own ..I always thought I needed a man ..but now I know I dont ... I support myself I have learned to Love myself ..I have learned paticence ..and Trust ...and these things were hard for me ..so if things dont work out ...I know I have becopme a better person with or with out him ..(although Iwant him) ...I hope you are going to be okay and live and learn ...you have your whole life ahead of you ...take advantage

Very well put luisychris!

Roxee, I am so sorry that happened to you. I worried at first that my husband might do that to me. We were together in our teens, but we did have a baby. We were forced to give him up for adoption and to stop seeing each other and we both tried to get on with our lives. When I found him we were both divorced, but he had been with someone for several years before getting arrested. I worried that he might use me and go back to her once he is out. We got married a few years ago, and he has a couple years still until he gets out. At that point I will have been with him 6 1/2 years and supporting him emotionally and financially. We do have our son in our life now. I don't worry like I used to but your story shows me anything is possible. I pray he is being honest with me and trust him %100. I know I am with him by my own choice and not matter what the future brings, I am glad I have been here for him. I love him with all my heart. I do tease him and tell him after all I have been through waiting for him he better treat me like a queen when he comes home :)

Again, I am sorry this happened to you. How are things for you now? What are you doing to move forward and take care of yourself? You need to remember that no matter what, you did the right thing. You are AMAZING! :yes:

Hi again:
Thanks for your response. I know what you are saying is right. I know that I promised to get him thru his hell and I did that. I know that I kept my promise to him, and that he'll never be able to forget that I was the one there for him. I know that he will think of me from time to time. Its just that for 4 and 1/2 years I planned my future to include him and now it doesn't. I mean I bought a house and all, and planned a future with him, all the way to booking a cruise for us when he got out. And now, its hard for me to want to do all the things I planned without him. I know that I will find someopne special to share my life with. Its just that I've been alone along time already and now I want someone by my side to share things with. I have turned to my kids and my grandkids now to take up most of my spare time. But sometime soon I will have to open up and try to meet new people.
Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I still cry myself to sleep. But I know too that its better that he leave now than to come home and leave later. Don't feel bad for me Chris, I have learned a great deal with this experience. The best thing I have learned was how to communicate without touching, without sex, without distractions. I actually believe no one will ever know me and know one will ever know him the way we know each other.
I would not do anything different than what I have done for him. I just hope that if I ever needed anyone the way he needed me that I have someone standing in my corner.
Thanks again for listening and have a great night!

Later Gator
;)


QUOTE=luisychris]I really feel bad for you ....thats awful that he used you this way ....and especially the wife ...but I guess we dont know what kind of relationship she had with him ...and maybe you are better off with out him ...because I bet you the minute things go wrong with them and it will he will be trying to contact you ...but once bitten you will know better...and as for the helping him ...just know you did a noble thing ...with a pure heart ...and I always say about my guy when people tell me what if he leaves you when hes out (in 2yrs ) and I always say ..what I am doing is because its what I want ..and if things dont work out I only have myself to blame ...nobody forces me to wait nobody makes me do anything I dont want to do ...I have pure intentions and for some reason God wants me to go through this experiance and I have learned alot ...about myself in this time apart ..like I can live on my own ..I always thought I needed a man ..but now I know I dont ... I support myself I have learned to Love myself ..I have learned paticence ..and Trust ...and these things were hard for me ..so if things dont work out ...I know I have becopme a better person with or with out him ..(although Iwant him) ...I hope you are going to be okay and live and learn ...you have your whole life ahead of you ...take advantage[/QUOTE]

Hello Faithfulforever,

Thank you for your note of support. I feel for you in your position. But you have the right attitude to give 100% to what you believe in. I gave him 110%. I believed in him and I believed in us. I wouldn't have changed my path along the way for anything. I promised him that I would stand by him til the end and I did just that. I am very proud to say that I was there for him. I know he needed me and in some strange way, I needed him too. I don't regret it for one minute. And each day that goes by my heart heals alittle more. Don't get me wrong, I still love him and miss him more than ever, but I still feel somewhat betrayed. Like I did without, to provide for him and SHE went on with her life not giving up anything. (She had moved in with a man she met on the internet and kicked him out when it was close to his release date) But I also know that he had to do what was in his heart too. I am hurt, but not to the point of wishing him harm. I will find someone to share my life with some day. And when I do (look out)! I will be ready to live. LOL

Thank you for your comments and please don't hesitate in contacting me if you just need to talk. I'm all for waiting for your man. I don it all over again given the chance. Love to you and yours, take care.:)


Roxee, I am so sorry that happened to you. I worried at first that my husband might do that to me. We were together in our teens, but we did have a baby. We were forced to give him up for adoption and to stop seeing each other and we both tried to get on with our lives. When I found him we were both divorced, but he had been with someone for several years before getting arrested. I worried that he might use me and go back to her once he is out. We got married a few years ago, and he has a couple years still until he gets out. At that point I will have been with him 6 1/2 years and supporting him emotionally and financially. We do have our son in our life now. I don't worry like I used to but your story shows me anything is possible. I pray he is being honest with me and trust him %100. I know I am with him by my own choice and not matter what the future brings, I am glad I have been here for him. I love him with all my heart. I do tease him and tell him after all I have been through waiting for him he better treat me like a queen when he comes home :)

Again, I am sorry this happened to you. How are things for you now? What are you doing to move forward and take care of yourself? You need to remember that no matter what, you did the right thing. You are AMAZING! :yes:[/QUOTE]