;) Ok so we've written a few dozen letters back and forth since October of 03 and its been good, but now I'm a little nervous about my first phone call from her. What do I talk about? I mean there's a lot to say but not a lot of time. Wish me luck. :eek:

SRG

Appointment: Thursday March 25, 2004 6-8pm!!!

Gosh, I remember my first call from Charlie like it was yesterday, it was in September of last year. His Grandmother called me the day before he called me and told me to take the block off my phone tha he had tried to call and was going to try again to call me the following nite. I, too, was worried a little about "What the heck are we gonna talk about?" The next day when I got home from work, I took out some letters and re-read them, that gave me some ideas, otherwise we just started talking! Almost "regular" stuff, you know "What did you do today?", kinda stuff. I'm sure you'll be fine when you get the call, it's just the anticipation that can get to ya! :) (((HUGS))) and tell her "Hello from PTO!!"

I spoke with Shonia a couple of hours after she first went in and have spoken to her at least every other day since than. It's going to be awkward, but trust me, you'll have plenty to talk about.

Tuco, you can always fall back on the old trick for using at parties --- ask questions! Have some ready, then things will start to flow as you both relax.

By the way, I think it's sweet to know that guys go thru the same feelings we females do about this stuff. Enjoy your call!

LOL...we certainly do. I used to write things down that I wanted to say, just like she was suggesting. That got rid of any awkward silence when you know there are plenty of things you want to say. It also keeps me from leaving anything out and since these calls are times, I can work with that.

dlyles, that's funny, because I still take in a little list when I visit for one hour behind glass, cause I know I'll forget something and after a 4 hour drive, it'll make me crazy!

:( I sat around the phone for hours and it never rang. She said to be ready between 6-8 pm on Thursday. Hard to get happy after that.

awwwwwwwww.... so sorry! I hope you find out soon what happened! What a bummer!!!!!!!!!

Awww Tuco, I'm sorry. I was looking forward to coming today and "hearing" about your call. Hopefully she'll "surprise" you soon with a call. Maybe some problem with the phones, like Charlie & I had? ((((HUGS)))) to you both!! :)

Thanks for your concern loveSunnyH and qwerty. I was writing a note to her while I waited, and the funny thing is, I mentioned that if she didn't call I was sure something happened. When she didn't call I was pissed, but then I thought she's not in some vacation resort where's she's free to come and go as she pleases. How bad could it really be for me? I was drinking a margarita and sitting at the PC.

Ok what can I say, she signed up for 6am instead of 6pm by accident she said in a letter I got today. So she said she's going to give it another try in the pm this time. Figured it was something like that! Oh well.

Well good, AT least now you don't have to worry... hope you get that call soon (and I hope I get that dang letter I'm waiting for too)!

Good luck. Hope the call goes through. When I don't speak to my wife for a couple of days I go crazy. Not to mention the kids constantly ask "is mommy calling today". So I hope you have a good talk

Have a great talk. Don't be nervous. just relax and enjoy your call. I sometimes try to think of something funny to say, a story about someone we know or something I read. To break the ice a little. Have fun,
frankie

Well since I last posted info about my first call which didn't pan out, the second effort didn't work out either. She wrote and told me she'd be calling between 6-8 pm again. So there I was waiting patiently when I decided to go to the store at 4:00. Well I think you know what happened, I had a message from her on the machine at 4:30, not 6-8. Later in a letter she told me that was the only time available and is totally bummed I missed her and wants to stick to our letters for now.

I guess I can't blame her, the same thing happened with her daughter. The phone has not been her friend. She'll be moving to one of the firecamps in CA soon and says phone use is a lot simpler there. I sure hope so.

The phone thing didn't work out too well. I hope my visit goes a little better. I'll wait until I actually see her to post about it though. (don't want to hex it)

Dang!!!! I'm sorry it hasn't worked out yet... I finally got call forwarding to my cell because I am never home. Hope the, uh, 'other thing' (dont wanna hex it either :) ) works out!!!!

Sorry to hear that the phone didn't work out, but I wish you all the best for you visit!

Sorry to hear that the phone think didn't work out. My best wishes for your visit. Let us know when you've seen her.

That sucks. The one thing I hate is missing a call and waiting for it. They come to my cell, so I seldom actually miss is, but since her facility only does pre-paid calls, if the kids aren't with me, I sometimes won't answer because she may want to speak to all of us, and we don't have calls to waste. They can never say for sure what time they'll call. Unfortunately, they don't have the "freedom" to make calls when they please.

Good luck.

Sorry the phone calls didn't work out :(
I hope you have a wonderful visit!!!

Forgive my ignorance but how do phone calls work? I get the impression from these discussions that the call must originate from the inmate. but what happens if I want to surprise my lady say on her birthday or some other important occasion? Cant I phone when I know she is in her free time and speak to her ? Can I book a call from my end or does the initiative have to come from there?
Please help a poor confused Englishman
Regds
Capn John

:shrug: Yea capn the call must originate from the facility. There are collect calls and prepaid calls available. Each facility has its own specific rules like max and min talk time. And as you've probably read in my posts, they sign up for times to call the day before. But like I said, I'm sure each location has its own set up. The only calls the prison would accept would be emergency calls that would then be related to your loved one by personnel, but I do like your idea. :idea:

Yeah, don't we wish we could call them. Where my wife is the calls are prepaid and she can call as she pleases from 7AM to 11PM. The pre-paid thing kind of sucks but it beats nothing. Because the only calls they can get are when something terrible has happened, I don't think they want to "hear" from us.

TUCO, MY WIFE HAS BEEN IN COUNTY SCINCE MAR25th. SHE CALLS ME EVERY DAY 2 OR 3 TIMES. BUT SOMETIMES SHE CAN"T CALL CAUSE THEY SHUT THE PHONES OFF WHEN TRANSFERRING INMATES TO STATE. I ALWAYS THINK THE WORST. WORST ONLY HAPPENED ONCE. SHE GOT LOCKED DOWN FOR 24hrs FOR TRADING HER HAM SAND. FOR SOMEONE ELSE PEANUT BUTTER SAND. TRY NOT TO WORRY AND CERTAINLY DONT GET MAD. WHAT LITTLE TIME WE DO GET IS TO PRECIOUS TO WASTE.

QWERTY YOU WOULD FLIP AT HOW MOST MEN REALLY DO FEEL. SOMETIMES WE CANT SHOW IT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO SEND AN IMAGE OF BEING REALLY STRONG TO LET OUR LADYS KNOW WE CAN HOLD UP TO ANYTHING FOR THEM. WE DO OUR CRYING WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND.

Thanks for the reminder, IM4U. :)

Yeah, that's the thing about being the man in the relationship. We are supposed to at least, appear to be strong. When my wife first went in (3/7/03) I shed a tear or two around her and she almost lost it. So now I just tell her I'm good, even when I'm not. I put on a front around the kids. Of course sometimes I let it out to her, but I just minimize the emotion, hang up the phone and boo hoo like a baby...lol.

Try forwarding your calls the next time she is due to call and you have to go somewhere!

In Florida they hand out DRs if you use call forwarding so we had to stop that. Hopefully when things settle down you can have a time to get a call

In Florida they hand out DRs if you use call forwarding so we had to stop that. Hopefully when things settle down you can have a time to get a call


How do they handle VoIP systems where you can have one number ring to multiple phones? My home phone line is switching to VoIP this month, and I have it configured to ring both there and on my cell, during work hours...

Hmm.

Part if me says to run before you fall in love with her. I went through the same as youTuco, I et her there. we wrote talked and waited 14 months to see one another, it takes six months to ask for a visitor change in her prison. They took me off the list twice, 14 months I waited to see her because I made the mistake of calling the Prison and taking to the Warden. My love has paid for that ever since because the more they did toher the more I called and wrote and emailed. This woman who had always had Honors and lived outside the fence, suddenly after the call, became a disiplinary problem to the prison. THrough 3 hard years I have watched the place destroy her beautiful spirit and change the one I love. She still loves me as much as I love her which with our Faith is all that can keep us going. I once introduced a friend of mine to one of my girls friends, He rote her,went to visit her and decided by watching what we were going through he best not ge involved, probably a wise choice for him. As for you, follow your heart but know it is a tough road to handle

My love has paid for that ever since because the more they did toher the more I called and wrote and emailed.
After reading the 60 or so public posts about how you destroyed her life, I have a public request: Now that you know how to stop destroying her life do one good thing a day which makes her life better for 60 days.

I'd almost forgot about my post here so let me update. We did finally hook up on that call and it was great but before I knew it, it was over (not that they didn't continue to remind me) . It was nice to finally hear her voice, but I could tell there was something a little different about her. I guess its to be expected, she is in prison after all. I was worried she'd cry but happily she laughed, I laughed it was good. Later I was a little sad but better. Thank goodness.

I was worried she'd cry but happily she laughed, I laughed it was good.
Way to go, man. If you can bring a smile and even laughter to her there you are for sure her soulmate. Keep up the good work. :thumbsup: