View Full Version : Six months down - a lifetime to go!


danielle
03-23-2004, 09:21 AM
It's been exactly 6 months since my husband came home. Six months since I picked him up and we drove away from the Alabama DOC facility and left them in our dust.

He was gone almost 2 years, which in the realm of life and of PTO, isn't a lot of time. For me and for him, it seemed almost eternal.

We've had Christmas, and New Year's, and his birthday and our anniversary together. We've had Valentine's and soon with have Easter. We've raked leaves and planted flowers and did all of those boring things married people do and I loved every minute of it.

He works a lot of hours and I am actually working less now. We've bought another car and we've just particiapted in life. When he was locked-away, it felt as though life was simply passing me by. Now it seems as though I am once again an active participant in my own life. In our life together.

I can look back on PTO and find out where I was a year ago or even 2 years ago and I find I was scared mostly. I was bitter and sometimes I felt utterly and completely helpless and alone. Now, those feelings are mostly gone. Sometimes I am angry, but I am still human and I have faults and shortcomings.

Wayne is doing well. We argue some - we always have. We're both stubborn and at times I'm either overly-sensitive or he's overly-critical. I think, though, if we got along all of the time, then that wouldn't be us. I do love and accept him just the way he is, even if that means the occassional argument.

He's not the same guy that wrote home in those prison letters. That guy was a con, wanting to be sure that his woman was staying at home and being faithful. He's more secure now than when he was in the pen. He finally believes in my and my faithfulness to him. Sometimes, however, I miss the sweet guy that wrote home to me. I wouldn't trade having him here for all of the letters in the world.

Speaking of those letters - he was amazed that I'd saved every scrap of paper he'd sent my way. They're safely tucked away in a storage box and some day - just maybe - we'll pull them out and read them again. For now, it's too soon and the prison trauma is just too real.

He's still bonding with his parents and they've even dragged us to church with them a few times. Believe me - I went kicking and screaming! However, this relationship has truly amazed me and I am so happy to be a part of it and to watch them all grow together.

So, for the most part, life is good. Having him here now - it's almost just like he was never gone. But he was gone and there's a part of us that has to deal with that every single day.

Knowing all that I know now, I would have still married him. And I would still wait on him - forever.

MRSMAZE
03-23-2004, 09:35 AM
Danielle,

This was amazing to read...just what I have been looking to read...I am a plethera of emotions, my husband just came home five days ago and it was wonderful to read that life does indeed go on and continue...even though it may seem to be standing still in the newness of his being home...Thank you..

danielle
03-23-2004, 10:11 AM
The first few weeks are wonderul and hard at the very same time. You're happy they're home, yet for me - I was used to being independent. Now, this guy - my husband - wanted to know where I was going and what I was doing and so on.

It was like we'd just gotten married all over again. However, sticking it out has been worth it for me.

I can't tell you what the next 6 months or 6 years will hold, but for today, I'm glad to be with Wayne and I'm happy he's home.

Trulykath
03-23-2004, 10:52 AM
you always talk to my soul.....thru your words, and I feel very close to you because of it. Skip has been home 6 months tomorrow. We are still separated by distance, but bound for life.

It's amazing, the things we go thru....ours was a short sentence too, he got 2 years, and locked up 11 months (nothing in PTO time)....he's off paper in November. We had Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. We're headed to birthdays, new jobs, divorces, and moves.

I have gone back and read the letters.....I too, miss the man who wrote those letters. They come home and forget sometimes, what we endured to stay by their side. It makes life really short and you want to take advantage of all the moments you have....doing the boring stuff.

Thank you for your post....I needed this today!

kath

Manzanita
03-23-2004, 12:44 PM
thanks so much for sharing this...my time is coming soon and my husband has been locked up for 14.5...

I know we will be ok, but I worry about being alone versus being with my new husband everyday and night...I worry about leaving him alone in the big city, and I worry about him getting discouraged, because now, he is so determined, hopeful and postive...

thanks and keep in touch with us, all of you who are going through this...
did you read any books that helped, I found some here and have not read them yet.

missing_him
03-23-2004, 02:04 PM
I am so happy for you and your story has touched my heart, it made me cry. I am so excited for my man to come home, and yet I am so scared. He is in on drug charges and drugs are everywhere. I hope that he has the strength to stay away from them and the people that do them. I am glad that you and your honey are doing well. God Bless you.

danielle
03-23-2004, 03:16 PM
Kath - you're one of my soul sisters. :)

Mrs G - I read a couple of books. I read "Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul" and another one that I can't think of the name of it right now. I mailed it to Lysbeth a while back. I can't say that either really helped me. When he got home, it was different but it was just weird. Everything fell into place without a whole lot of effort.

missing him - my husband and I are both recovering addicts. Get into al-anon or nar-anon. Neither of us could do it by willpower alone. When I comes to dope, I am weak, but am strong enough to ask for help.

Phil in Paris
03-23-2004, 03:56 PM
Thanks for sharing this Monica :)

I'm so happy things are OK for you both, and can't wait to read another similar post in 6 months.

(((HUGS)))

Phil

danielle
03-23-2004, 03:59 PM
Phil - you mean I have to wait 6 months to post again? :p

Trulykath
03-24-2004, 08:39 AM
don't you dare.....I personally miss ya!!!

kath

danielle
03-24-2004, 08:40 AM
Ha! Ha! Just try and keep me away from PTO! :p

TNC
03-24-2004, 09:02 AM
WOW..As I read your story I was able to relate to so many things. It was like you were telling parts of my own story. I think I was arriving at PTO not long before you were picking Wayne up so we pretty much crossed paths, but I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say on many differant things.

danielle
03-24-2004, 09:08 AM
Thank you TNC. Even though he works a lot and he's gone - it's different than when he was in prison. We're starting our own business - acutally he is, I'm just helping, but it's all so new and so scary at the same time. I just love him to pieces!

sbrown110
03-30-2004, 05:02 PM
wonderful story. I wish you the best.

LoUiE'sLaDy
03-30-2004, 05:16 PM
Thanx for sharing, and I am so happy for you and I wish you the best.

Blue Fish
03-30-2004, 05:17 PM
Oh, I have to quit reading some of these posts at work, they are so beautiful and full of hope, it brings tears to my eyes.
I am so happy for you (and so jealous!), I would love to plant flowers with my husband. :) I hope things continue to go well for you and your man.

mouthy_mama
03-30-2004, 06:47 PM
Wonderful story. I am so happy for the two of you. Best wishes for the future and the business you are helping him start.

passionflower
03-30-2004, 07:06 PM
Congratulations! 6 months sounds very promising to me! Enjoy your new life together, and God bless!

MissOne
04-21-2004, 06:45 PM
Thanks for sharing

I love that you are happy.

mamawen
04-22-2004, 11:10 AM
Thanks for sharing. It touched me in a way you can't imagine today. :)
For the first time since meeting my husband, I am questioning my ability to stay.
Thanks again!
Wendy

E1950
05-16-2004, 06:04 PM
thanks for sharing your story. I need to hear that success is possiable. Lewis will be home very soon and I'm both excited and scared after being apart for 10 years. I look forward to doing the boring things that married couples do!
we were both addicts, but I know we both have the strenght to abstain because it has cost us both so much pain.
I wish you and Wayne continued success and very much happiness for the rest of your life.
((((hugs))))
sue

jessy
05-19-2004, 07:43 PM
in reading these posts, I can't help but to feel so very very very happy for all of you who's husbands, boyfriends, soulmates are coming home, I would give anything for my hubby to be home soon, 36 years is a long way down the road, but you all give me strength and courage to forge on. I would love to even be planting weeds right now with him. HAHAHA. Good Luck to you all who are begining new lives together, to all the strong women who have waited months and years KUDOS. Jessy

Manzanita
07-03-2004, 01:13 PM
Danielle...

how are you these days???? :) :)
since, March...maybe you have been here and I did not see a post, please chare with us...
hope all is well....

tonysgirl
07-10-2004, 07:22 PM
I am sooooo happy to hear that everything is going soooo well!!!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!