Hi,

My name is Annie...my 22 year old son has been in a Alabama county jail for six months. He is awaiting sentencing for a probation violation. Sometimes I get so mad at him they gave him a break and he blew it. With six months remaining. But mostly I worry and shed a lot of tears. I don't leave the house much except to go visit Ben. I've taken a leave of absence from my job and don't want to think about going back. My friends can't seem to understand why I'm so sad. They tell me that they know how I feel. They don't... and I pray that they never do. You have to walk in the shoe's of a mom or dad with a son or daughter in prison to ever know the pain. As I know each of you do. My heart goes out to you all.

Bless You,
Annie

Hi Annie2, my name is Barbara and I also have a son in prison and you are right we do know how you feel. We will always love our babies and we will hurt when they hurt, cry when they cry that is what being a mother is all about. Come and talk to us sometime in the chat room. Love Barbara

Hi Annie2.......Welcome to PTO..

Thanks for the compassion......please know that we are here for you.

Barbara & Christine

It's very nice to meet you both. Im new to computors and this forum. It may take me some time to find my way to chat. Still finding my way around the forum.

Thank You for the Invitation,
Annie

HI ANNIE: I ALSO HAVE A SON( 26 YEARS OLD) IN PRISON! AND YOU ARE RIGHT-- I DONT THINK ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND UNLESS THEY ARE GOING THROUGH IT!!!! MY SON GOT A LIFE SENTENCE AND DONT KNOW IF I AM GONNA BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT!! HE HAS BEEN IN A YEAR AND A HALF NOW AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE I AM IN A NIGHTMARE AND CANT WAKE UP!!! I TOO HAVE HAD TROUBLE HOLDING DOWN A JOB!! I JUST DONT HAVE NO WANT TO ANY MORE!!! AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! SORRY ABOUT RATTLING ON. BUT MY HEART IS SO BROKE I CANT STAND IT!!! SHERRON :fb:

Hi Annie. Welcome! I also have a son in a county jail. He is serving 11-23 months there. He is 19 years old. I think I know exactly how you are feeling. County jail isn't the greatest place to be, that is for sure! Hang in there! With the help of our friends here at PTO, we'll be ok!

Hello Annie,

I have a Fiancee in prison. His name is Butch. I can feel your pain. My son who is now 21 spent a small amount of time in jail and came close to going to prison so I also know what it feels like when your son has made mistakes. Hang in there as much as possible. PTO is a great support group and always here to listen.

Renee

ANNIE

BOY, DO I REALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN. IT DOES MAKE YOU VERY ANGRY AT YOUR SON BECAUSE THEY CANNOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND WHO PUT THEM IN THE PLACE THEY ARE AT. I HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS SAME THING FOR OVER 20 YEARS AND AM STILL DEALING WITH IT. SINCE MY SON BUTCH WAS 16 YEARS OLD, HE HAS GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH THE WRONG TYPE OF WOMAN. HE STILL HAS NOT LEARNED AT ALL. HE HAS NEVER LISTENED TO ME EITHER, SO THAT IS A COMMON THING. BUT, THEY DO EXPECT MAMA TO BE THERE FOR THEM AT ALL TIMES. SOMETIMES IT REALLY GETS HARD. BUT, THEN, I REMEMBER WHO HE IS. THE LITTLE BOY THAT I HELD AND CUDDLED WHEN HE WAS SICK AND THE SWEET LITTLE THINGS HE USED TO DO FOR ME. HE IS STILL MY SON, EVEN THO I GET SO MAD AT HIM

DONNA

DONNA, YOU MADE ME TEAR UP!!! I FEEL LIKE YOU DO!!! SHERRON:fb:

Annie, Welcome to Pto. I too understand your pain, I have two sons in prison. So you've found a place where people really do understand.
Valerie

Hello everyone,

It feels really nice to finally have someone to talk to that understands all of the ups and downs. I am so sorry that you to have children in prison or any loved one. Sometimes the pain of this seems unbearable.

To you Valerie... my heart goes out to you double. One for each of your children.

God Bless You All,
Annie

Annie, Thank you , and believe me, my heart goes out to you as well. Bless you Annie

I also have a son 23 in jail. Noone knows what I am going through either. I just found this forum and hoping and praying i get some support here. I am crying constantly and am also very tired of this life he has led. He has been a heroin addict since 15 and in and out of rehabs. Recently in jail from feb till aug, got out and used heroin again and went back to jail after being out only 3 weeks. He robbed someone, so now he will be serving some years I am sure. It is such a heartache going through this. Anyone is more than welcome to email me, if they want. I know how you all feel.

MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU NAN. I TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HURT AND ANGER YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW. IN PRISON, THERE IS NOT TOO MUCH HELP AS FAR AS THE REHAB ON DRUGS GO. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE MARYLAND WILL BE BETTER AND HELP HIM GET OFF THE STUFF WHILE THERE. I UNDERSTAND THE CRYING TOO. I HAVE DONE THAT SO VERY MANY TIMES.

MAY GLD BLESS AND KEEP YOU NANCY.... I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR SON.

MY LOVE
DONNA

Nancy,

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your son. I do understand the heartache that you feel.

Bless You,
Annie2

Nancy, I'm sorry about your son. Please come here often and post or just read, it does make you feel better.

Dear Annie & all, I too have a son who's in prison. I've never stopped by this forum, you'll usually find me begging for answers in the "Texas" forum. All I know is that other than the death of a child, not being able to have access to them when you've been so use to that since their birth is almost enough to drive you crazy in itself, not to even beginning to mention the runarounds and "so-called" plea bargains (which usually aren't much of a bargain) Unlike most of you , I have the luxury of not having to hold down a job, along with everything else, my problem lies in holding down a marriage, and trying to not just say F it all...But believe me, I know (we all know) how each other feel. hang in there to all..I will if you will =0) In some cases we are all our kids have!! Carla

Thanks so much for all the support..... I do need it. My husband has a hard time with all this. I guess it is a man's dissappointment in his son. He will not even visit him. Do you all have any of that type of problem also? I am trying to not think too much about him being in jail because when I do I feel like I am going to go crazy!!!!!! It is so nice to know people finally know what I am talking about..... I thank God I found this forum.

love to you all
and all my prayers

Nancy,

My situation sounds exactly like yours, I thought their for a minute that I was reading about myself. My husband and Ben's dad has not gone to see him once. I am the only visitor that he gets. My husband is very hurt that he did not live the way that we tried to raise him. I myself think that he is ashamed of Ben. Yes me to in a sense but never to the point that I did not want to see my son. No matter what the situation I will always be here for both my boys. I've had a very hard time dealing with this. I don't think that he cares about our son and he thinks sometimes that I care to much. Don't take that the wrong way, I know that he loves Ben with all his heart. I think that this is his way of staying sane through all of this. My way is just the opposite I seem to handle it best with emotion. Crying at the least little thing. Thinking and talking about him every minute. Worrying, could I teach a class on that subject. I wonder if thats our way of keeping each other sane . We can just be sitting and talking about Ben and I'll tell the funny stories of the sweetest little boy and I can see his eyes fill. While he is telling me that Ben calls to much, the phone bill to high. I think that it is just his way to cover up his real pain. I wouldn't let him hear me say this but the things he say's are the truth. So I think that one has to be stronger so that the other can fall apart at a moments notice. As I do most days. I am trying very hard to take everything one day at a time.

God Bless You and Your Family,
Annie

Annie........ that is exactly how it is here too. My Lord, I only thought that was in my house. It makes me sad that their fathers are like this but I do understand in a way. Mother's are very different for sure. It is so nice to know that someone finally understands my situation....... I seem to cry at anything these days too. Do you have other children? I have 4 other children and family says that I should focus on them and not so much on the son in jail..........that is so easy to say. I tend to my children always since I do not work but part of me will always be with my son in jail. It seems people think you should just act like they do not exist because of all the sadness they brought to the family. How horrible to be that way.
email me anytime Annie.

NAN AND ANNIE, MY SON HAS BEEN IN FOR 12 YEARS AND HIS BROTHERS HAVE ONLY VISITED HIM ON THREE OR FOUR OCCASIONS. THEY TOO HAVE SOME BITTERNESS THAT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH. HIS FATHER HAS NEVER NEVER BEEN TO VISIT. MY HUSBAND GOES WITH ME EACH AND EVERY WEEK SO HE DOES FEEL SOMEONE CARES ABOUT HIM.... MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU LADIES AND I KNOW HE WILL. HE WILL US ALL IF WE CAN EVER LEARN HOW TO TURN OUR PROBLEMS OVER TO HIM. SOMETIMES THAT IS HARD TO DO.

MY LOVE AND PRAYERS
DONNA

Nancy,

I have one other son and he is 24. I wish that I had been blessed with more children. Sorry for not answering your post sooner I've been a little under the weather. I hope that things are going better for you. Their about the same here, I'm waiting for the day that Ben's Dad says...wait on me I think I'll go visit today.

I have been accused many times of not paying enough attention to my oldest son. I think that it's mainly my fault that he doesn't go to visit his brother. I have really been like a crazy person. Ben's brother was already mad at him for screwing up. Then he saw how this was making me sick. I have lost a lot of weight and don't want to go or do much of anything. So he's mad at Ben for putting me through this mess. So I have learned to hide my feelings as much as possible around certain people. I love both my boy's the same. What no one seems to understand is that I am all Ben has right now. And no matter what I will stay right at his side.

Bless You,
Annie

Annie ---- I know that feeling too. Sort of like the Prodical Son in the Bible. They always need more help and you can never walk away.

My Prayers
Donna

No Donna I could never walk away. But that goes for both my boys. I just take it one day at a time.

Annie