:ha: I just needed to talk I guess ..but after a 1and 4 months of waiting I sometimes go through a deep depression ...does this happen to any of you ..this time it was so bad I wanted to take a week off of work to just stay in bed ...this in my whole 36 yrs of life has never happened to me ...I mean yeah things are good for us ...but ever since they moved him to Texas and being a single mother of 3 makes visitng not A option right now ..and I feel sad and I sometimes feel old ..like will I be to old when he comes out (in 2yrs and change) will I have accomplished anything ...I feel stuck like I cant move ...does this make sense to anyone??? ..maybe its not the prison part maybe its an age thing ..I will be 37 in May ..i dont know and the worst part is sometimes I find my self snapping at the kids and any little thing bothers me ...I know its not forever but somedays it feels like it will never happen he will not ever come home ...and the wieght on my shoulders gets heavier and heavier ....I Love him with all my soul and not being here is out of the question I would never abandon him ...we are in this thick and thin and I will wait faithfully as I have ...I guess its just a phase ...I was just wondering if any of you go through the same and if you do how do you cope ????you know to be honest ..I think I am missing the feeling of being Loved ..you know the little looks ..and hugs ..I miss that so much with out visits ....I dont want to sound selfish ..but I feel I can be totally honest here on pto
but you know I know he loves me but the not being able to demonstrate it really effects me ...Thanks for being here ...I hope I dont drag any one down ...Luis ychris :ha:

I know exactley what your talking about. Just the other day I posted about my verg on a nervous breakdown. I dont really know how to cope when I feel that way. I ussally just go to bed and cry till I fall asleep. I hate it. I have kids also and I sometimes feel like I just cant do it anymore. Sometimes I feel like I dont want to do it anymore. I dont know just hang in there remember tommorrow is a better day... :rolleyes:

Hi, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Believe me, a lot of us have gone through the exact same thing, so you are not alone. There are days where I get so depressed I just lay in bed all weekend and feel horrible. And I have taken way too many days off work because I just can't cope. It also doesn't help much that the people around us can't understand what we are going through. That's what is nice about PTO - there are so many of us who know exactly how you feel.

I sure wish I had the words to make you feel better right now, but the only thing I can tell you is that it will pass in time and you will be back on your feet again soon. It makes me sad that they moved your husband to Texas. They have no idea the hardships it causes family members (nor do they care). I would like to suggest that you see your doctor? I take Lorazapem for anxiety, and I know when I get really angry, and snap at everything and everyone, it helps me to calm down and remove the edge.

Oh, but the age thing? Well, THAT I am not going to give you any sympathy on!!! I'm in my 40s and OH how I would love to be in my 30s again!!!! So that you will just have to deal with on your own. :p

I hope you feel better soon. Us Arizonians need to stick together! Love, Zoe

I understand the depression! I know it always gets better, but there are days/weeks/months that seem to drag on ffffoooorrrreeeevvvveeeerrrrr!!!!!!

Hey, 37 isn't old, I'll be 42 in August. I am still new and I don't know if you read anything about our story, but we were apart for 22 years before I found him locked up 4 1/2 years ago. We were married in 02 and he has 2 1/2 to go. We really want another baby. We have a 27 year old son, but were forced to give him up for adoption 'cuz we were teenagers. :( But I am happy I finally found them both!!! Anyway, we thought he might get out last year on clemency when he got a unanimous recommendation but the new gov denied it. :argh The Board was SO in favor of letting him go! Anyway, not much hope of us having a baby if we have to wait until 06. I will be 44, so I have been fighting depression since he got turned down. I have thought about asking if we can inseminate, but I live in another state so the timing would be difficult and I doubt they would approve it anyway.

Well, gee, I really helped cheer you up, HUH? LOL :wave: I guess I should have just said I understand :) but now that I typed all this I might as well post it.

Hang in there..i know exactly what ur going thur am 37!! he is 40... I fall in these very bad depressions that i dont want to leave my home...i hav 3 kids also..
I tell him you didnt do this to only yourself.. you did it to your family also...the ones who truly do love you unconditional...I think its important to let him know how u are hurting..!! let it out... take care ****************{HUG}}}}}}}}

Hi! I go through this also. And there is times I want to stay home and stay in bed to. But then I would wallow away to nothing. And I can't let that happen. I have three kids to care for and have to be strong for. And he also needs me to be strong for him and us. So I just plod through work. But then I go and stay home. And just lay around or be on the computer or watch movies with my kids and care for my 3 month old. She keeps me real busy. This so far is how I cope and the only way I know how to cope. And I write him alot of letters and just let him know of everything that goes on here. Maybe try that write and just let him know he cannot help you physically. But he can help you feel better. My fiance helps me feel better when I am down. He writes and tells me that I am doing a good job and is proud of me for what I have done and what I am doing. And it helps it get better. We are all strong women to go through this and to raise a family and stand by our men. Hang in there and hope things get better. (((HUGS)))!

Sure,wel all get the blues from time to time and so do they. St. John's wort is a good natural remedy to help you over the worse times. (((((( ))))))

I miss my fiance so bad also - I still have 2 1/2 years to go also and i'm 44 and he's 49. None of us are getting any younger and the time apart is real hard. I find myself staying in my room, not going anywhere because I'm afraid to have fun without him. This is tough on all involved, but just think of how much fun we will have when they get out :). My fiance is being moved to Oklahoma and that's going to suck too, but it's just one more step before he comes home. It's really hard, but we do have each other to cry to and that helps us all.
Cherry

Oh and my doctor told me to try vitamin B for depression when I was pregnant. The kind she told me to get was B-100 time released. I get it at Wal-Mart. It is the Spring Valley brand. I was on prozac during my pregnancy a very low dose. And it did not help. But the vitamin b did.

I know what you're going through! I have 4 kids by myself now & with working, having everything on your shoulders, and not having anyone to turn to when you're feeling down - just to give you a hug & hold you when you really need it - its SO hard!
When did they move him to Texas? They are talking about transfering my husband to Texas or Oklahoma now.

I know, all to well how you're feeling. I am feeling this right now, at this moment. All I want to do is stay in bed and shut the world out, but I can't. I have a 3 year old to take care of. I've felt this off and on throughout this past year. It seems to be so much worse when he's not there for me, "to make it all better". I hope you start to feel better. Do something for yourself, like take a candle lit bubble bath, listen to a song that reminds you of him and maybe it'll put a smile on your face. Maybe you should try Vit. B...I've heard that is a really great natural anti-depressant.

Hi and thank you to all of you who replied ..i guess I was a whiner that day ..my question is the vitamin b is that a shot or a pill ..well to let you all know I am feeling better ..but I feel like iam cranky ..or mad for no reason ..I think I will try the vitamin b...thanks Christine

I know, all to well how you're feeling. I am feeling this right now, at this moment. All I want to do is stay in bed and shut the world out, but I can't. I have a 3 year old to take care of. I've felt this off and on throughout this past year. It seems to be so much worse when he's not there for me, "to make it all better". I hope you start to feel better. Do something for yourself, like take a candle lit bubble bath, listen to a song that reminds you of him and maybe it'll put a smile on your face. Maybe you should try Vit. B...I've heard that is a really great natural anti-depressant.

Hey Christine...try the pills...I had forgotten about vit B helping with stress and depression...someone had mentioned the Spring Valley brand, it's sold at Wal-mart...I picked a bottle up yesterday, it was only a couple bucks...I figured, I would start taking them on a daily basis, so when a bad day hits, it's already in my system, maybe it won't be as bad...I'm glad you're feeling better
Lana

HI well I bought some last night to I bought vitamin b complex I kind of feel better today I took one yesterday adn this morn ...I wonder if its the vitamin or in my mind ...any well I feel better and thats good