If you live in Australia or New Zealand, please stop by and introduce yourself to everyone in this forum! I am sure everyone else will be happy to know you are here and what part of Australia or New Zealand you are from..

Thanks!
David

My name is Kyla and my husband was in Maryborough Correctional Facility in Queensland and is going to go to trial again in 2 weeks. I live in Hervey Bay Queensland, but I am originally from Sydney, and my husband is a Georgia boy.

Hello all, my name is Louise. I live in Ipswich not far from Brisbane.
Hey Kyla, my man is Native American too! he's in Washington State Penitentiary.
I lived in Sydney for 4 yrs. Actually I've lived all over Oz.

Hi my name is sue I live in victoria my partner is prison in castlemaine. He has been inside since 07/05/03. Me and my girls are doing it hard we are not coping without him. I feel I'm drowning.

Welcome Sue
Make sure you stick around. We are in this together. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I promise you, you will get all the support you need, and I am so glad that you are here. :) Its a hard road, but we will get through this together.

Hi all,
My name is Kerrie, I am in Sydney. My link to the prison system is through my friend Lonnie who is in the Polunsky Unit in Livingston TX (Death Row)
I look forward to getting to know you all better.
:)

oops, in my haste to post I forgot to say welcome to Sue. You have come to the right place for care and support. So glad you found us.
With love.

Hi everyone, I am just so happy to feel at home here. I have read some threads and printed them off for my pen pal, I just hope "they" allow him to have them.

I live on the Gold Coast in Queensland, God's country and the land of the lost tourist.

I have been writing to inmates for over 2 years and my pals are in the US. I would write to Aussie inmates but with no web sites or information it can be very difficult.

Thanks to this particular forum I might be able to write to a local guy and maybe go visit him.

Kyla, I have read other threads from you, didn't know you were an Aussie. Do you still live in Qld? Feels like "old home week".

Hi to everyone from OZ !!!!!

Grevillia
Welcome to PTO, I used to live on the Gold Coast to, in Kirra, lovely place. I am also in Queenlsand, further north now.

I write to people in the US as well, mostly death row inmates. When our penpal forum opens again on PTO, I will be sure to post up some inmate listings from Australia. Its great to have you here, we are trying to build this forum, because as a wife of an australian inmate, there is no support out there for us at all.

I am so glad that you found us. Corry is actually my husband that posted, and he will answer your post as soon as he is "allowed" to get on the computer again, which is when I get off.

Glad to have you on PTO. Where are your friends located in the US. There are many forums available for questions and answers state by state here on PTO.

Hi Grevillia. I came across this site a while ago - it was just a matter of remembering where! Hope this works for you http://prisonpenpals.com/australia.html If not try http://www.prisonpenpals.com/ and work your way in. Good luck from sandee

Hi all.

My name is Marty. Some of you will know me as the hardliner pro-death-penalty argumentative knowitall. Well that's not me. I was only playing devil's advocate and really wanted to get out people's views on things and how they can support them. And it sure worked ;)

I'm a lawyer in Melbourne. I'm not looking for clients and will not give specific legal advice on OR off the forum. But I can answer general questions, and will be more than happy to.

Hello Marty welcome here hope you enjoy your stay.

Hi Folks -

Paul from Sunshine Coast, Queensland.

Found this forum through web search - as I'm up for time in a few months.

I had a lot of problems as a kid but then stay clean for 22 years...

Right now my head is still spinning with the thought of going to prison.

Oh well, just wanted to say hi.

Hi AussiePaul
Welcome to PTO... glad you found us :D

The man of my dreams is in Loddon. Vic. Aust.
Be a while before I can have him at home in my arms. Been gone for 2yr so far.
This is great I have been searching for this for so long. Will be bringing in the close family to say "Hello".
Look forward to chatting with you all.
Em

Em
Welcome to PTO :)
We are looking forward to getting to know you better as well. Just know you are not alone, especially when times get tough, and you need a shoulder of support, or a vent about something, we are always here 24/7!!

Hi, I live in melbourne, my man is in Qld wolston cc. I visit him every few months. I have a friend who lives in ipswich, which makes it easy for me. Still it is very hard to be so far apart. he has written to me every single day since we first met, & since he has been inside. He has been inside for 1yr now. I am in contact with his brothers & Mum & often pass messages for him or them. They are very supportive too. It's wonderful to find this forum.
strength to all
Sandy

Hi Sandy, welcome to the PTO community... :) It's strange how small the prison world is... kind of... hehe. Ah, you know what I mean.

Dave

Hi everyone!
I live in Brisbane but this month I'm writing from the USA while I visit my fiance Washington State Prison in Georgia. This is the first time we've seen each other since his incarceration. This is his home but he was on his way to live with me in OZ when trouble struck just one short month beforehand and now we are looking at up to 8 years apart. I can tell you all that the last thing I wanted to do was live in the USA because Australia as you know is just too good to be true....I know that now having visited this country. It's very friendly and a wonderful place but it's just not home. Right now I'm visiting my in-laws to be including my fiance's 15 year old daughter who was also looking forward to living with us in Australia.
I know how hard it can be to travel to visit loved ones in prison and trying to get the info you need so if I can help anyone with the Brisbane area when I get back home next month then feel free to PM me and I'll do my best.
Lokking forward to getting to know you all :)

hi every one , im so glad to have found this site i found it by accident looking for info on the judge that fell asleep on my cousins trial.I've been stumbling around for a while but i found this thread today . if anyone is interested i would appreciate if you read my threads on "the sleeping Judge" and if anyone can help me i would just cry . the family is shattered and the sentence is insane and theres just no information out there for anything .Where have all the community serviices gone?.

anywayz i love this site and the community in it i never imagined such a positive network of people enduring such heinous injustices as we all are .

incarceration is not the answer!!!

thanks for sharing and helping: I run out of thins to write so i've been plaguarising eveyone(i'll obviously tell him wher i'm getting it from) i love this

ps sorry if i pm'd anyone but i had no idea what i was doin

Hi Kisbet, and Laleses, and welcome to the Aussie forums of PTO. :)

Take care.

Dave

thanx ilove your signature it was one of the first i wrote down to send to my cus

*bow* :) I like it too.

Hello I am new to this site. it is great. Hello to everyone and I am sure we can all help each other with knowledge and questions. I am in Melbourne Australia and am searching for someone who was once in prison but don't know what else to do.
Cheers, amanda75

hi amanda im new too sort of, any ways hi and welcome good luck on the mission

Hi Laleses
Thank for the welcome. much appreciated. Hopefully we can share some knwledge and all help each other. best to you.
Amanda75

Hi everyone,
My name is Adele and I am in Melbourne while the man I am going to marry is in St Heliers Correctional Centre in NSW. I have been reading the threads here for the past couple of weeks and they have been very comforting. It is good to know that there are others out there going through similar situations to myself. There is really nothing else out there to support people with loved ones in prison. Keep up the good work!:thumbsup:

Hi Amanda and Del. :) Although in some ways it is always a sad day when people join because it means another person in jail, it's great that you've found us. :)

Dave

Hello Dave
Thank you for your welcome message. I have been reading your threads and I wish you all the luck. You sound very sensible and positive.
Thanks again,
Amanda

Hi everyone and thanks for the welcome! :)
I've been back from visiting my fiance in the States for almost 4 weeks now and it feels like forever. He's just submitted a petition for a sentence reduction and because the county he was charged in over there in Georgia is notorious for oversentencing it looks like he may get it. So keep your fingers crossed for me and he might be out sooner than we thought. Then all we have left to deal with is immigration!!

I hope life is good! Take care now:)

G'day. I am a 20 year old female from NSW.
My brother who is 2 and a half years older than me is currently incarcerated and God only knows how long for. He got arrested on the 28th of July and has been remanded in custody ever since and there's been no trial date set yet.
He's in for drug offences.
Hopefully soon we will find out a trial date or something. But I've found the waiting time to be horrible. :(

Hi Lauren,

Welcome to PTO... the circumstances in which we find our way here are never happy ones... It is a terrible waiting period, and it can only be worse for your brother, I'm sure. I know at the various stages in my case/incarceration, I swung from wanting it all to be over, to uncertainty, to just wanting to be able to settle into some kind of routine, whatever the outcome might be.

Peace be with you, your brother, and family Lauren.

Dave

Thanks Dave :)

Welcome to PTO Lauren :D
Looking forward to getting to know you better !

Hey thanks :D

Hi Lauren welcome to PTO :)
The waiting is the hardest part, but think of it this way, while his in, it will be time served when sentencing comes around. Hang in there, and know we are here for you ((hugs)))

Thanks Kyla ((hugs))

Welcome to PTO :)

Hi all, Just got a call from my bf. Remissions in QLD have been abolished. So looks like he will have to stay fulltime. Another 2yrs & 6mths to go.
He maintains his innocense so will not be eligable for parole at this stage.
Why are the states so different? we are one country, aren't we? Or am I being too logical? Small steps to be taken I guess.
Love & strength to all.
Sandyg

Hi Sandy,

I'm sorry to hear about the situation. Remission was abolished for crimes/convictions after 2001. (If I recall correctly) It is a ridiculous situatino, I think that the best thing Queensland could do is get rid of it's criminal code, and institute Truth In Sentencing. But it is never going to happen any time soon. *sigh* Not with the current government on it's 'indefinite sentencing' kick... While I was in AG, I was thinking that there are support groups, and lobby groups for victims of crime, but there isn't (to my knowledge) a lobby group for prisoners.

I know it's terrible for you and Joe, but you have to hang in there.

Peace be with you,

Dave

Thank you Dave, I know it's hard but I'm glad that I can visit him. I don't know if I could move to QLD. I was born there,but did not enjoy the lack of culture up there...too many red necks & too many religious fanatics. My parents are still living there too. I still dont want to move. At least Joe is enjoying work. he loves to cook (& eat) & he can play his scrabble & chess. He hasn't got it too bad. It's just that we are apart for so long now. I guess now he is prepared for the long haul, no waiting for what may happen, and then being dissapointed. Too much of that has happened now. How can anyone fight to prove their innocense after they have been tried by a jury? Especially when there is no money to pour into it.
Thank you for listening,
Sandyg

There are rednecks and religious fanatics where I live???? WOW! I've never actually noticed :haha:
Next time you're up in QLD, contact me and I'll show you where to find the culture too! Having lived in Melbourne and Sydney, I wouldn't say QLD lacks culture at all...it's just a different kind of culture and you have to know where to find it...most is hidden from the tourists so it doesn't become so commercialised. And trust me when I say we're not all rednecks OR religious fanatics either.....
I wish all the states would have the same laws too...not just here but in the USA where my fiance is....now that's a prison system that really stinks...the corruption leaves me sickened.

Hang in there Sandy and try to stay positive! We can't do much but take one days at a time. Peace be the journey!

Hi All, Sorry, I must have been a bit down when I wrote that. I didn't mean to offend anyone. My dearest cousin is down here from QLD now & tells me she has put my name forward for a job!!! Could be interesting! Who knows what may come my way for the new year? She lives in amazing artists community in Boona & would love me to came & create stuff! She is very supportive of me & Joe! Wow!!
Life is always full of challanges if you want to move forward.
Yes I would love to meet up with anyone in Brizy if it's OK.
strength to all
Sandyg

Boonah is a great area Sandy...I used to go rockclimbing and camping at Mt French there....very nice laid back community too :)
I'm in Brisbane.....always happy to meet new people or help anyone who has a loved one in prison up this way if you need it! :)

Hello Sandyg. My husbands family are from the Fassifern Valley and I have lived there too. I like the place but I am a country girl. It is just about big enough to have most of the shops you want, but it is tiny compared to Melbourne. Your Joe would probably love to see more of you so come on up and BYO religion.

Welcome to the forums Morina. :)

Hi guys. I have been reading these forums for quite some time now but having finally registered and here I am.

I am in nsw and visit my partner in a minimum security prison each weekend.

It's been very interesting reading everyone elses stories and has made me realise that the system runs in very perculiar ways! :)

hi every body new good luck i look forward to getting to know you

Hi there sticking by him....welcome to PTO :)

Thanks kisbet, everyone here is so welcoming. I'm only kicking myself for not participating earlier!

I'm here....I'm introducing myself...

I'm Kylee.....I'm in Brisbane, and have penpals in Arizona and Florida


*waves*

Hello Kylee, and welcome to the forums. :)

Welcome Kylee!

I hope you enjoy your stay!

Heya,

I'm really new at this, my boyfriend, was locked up 5 days ago and he has a 16months sentance, he is still in the watch house which means i can't have any contact with him until the correctional center decieds to transfer him to the jail, i'm not really coping and would love some help if thats what this site is about...i dont have anyone that understand this situation, and i dont know what to do, i am in tears every day, and i cant stop thinkin about him,

Can i join here, and can someone help me through this??

Luv Amy

Hi Amy,

It is never a good situation which leads people to join us here, but you are more than welcome. :) When inmates are taken to any new prison they are technically entitled to a free phone call, so I hope that you hear from him soon. I assume that he will be taken to Arthur Gorrie, which is the reception and remand (R&R) centre for south east queensland. He should be taken there shortly.

I hope you get in contact with him soon, and if you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to ask. :)

Take care of yourself.

Dave

Hi Amy, and welcome aboard!

I hope you hear from your boyfriend soon, and I'm sure everything will be ok. I know this time can be very dark, but try to be strong. He will need a lot of love and support, as will you, but that's what we are here for!

Feel free to ask questions, share experiences or just have a chat. You are also welome to PM it you feel like it.

G'day welcome to PTO.

Thank you, heaps, its hard to deal with this, and yes he should be goin to AG soon, I just miss him so badly, i find myself crying out of no where and for no reason, i am just gald i found this site...

Thank you

Hey i made one of these things to count down daynes return

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Hi All,

Introducing myself here. I am 37yrs old and awaiting sentencing on fraud & other related charges. Currently I live in SA with my two cilkdren (who will be under my older sisters care when I go inside). I was pleading guilty to 149 charges in total, then the police whacked another 33 charges on, which incresed the total amount to around $450K. My lawyer is hopeless, useless, and just a waste of time. I am being sentenced in country Qld and been advised by useless solicitor to just plead guilty to the extra charges. I haven't even seen the paperwork! Go figure. So, anyway...court date is STILL to be confirmed but looks like March 14th at Charleville when the District Court sits next. Ex-officio indictment and told, again by my useless legal rep, to expect 5-7yrs on top. Not sure what that means on the bottom...but it's all coming up pretty soon.

I would like my daughters to join here (they are 12 & nearly 14) so they can chat and get support if they want it. What does everyone think of that, is it appropriate? I am finding it harder for them than me, as I will be in Qld gaol (Brisbane I am assuming?) and they will be in Whyalla SA...so unable to visit or anything.

Okay, that's me in synopsis!

Michelle.

Heya,

I'm only new here, my boyfriend is in jail, and it feels like they keep stuffing us around, but welcome and i would have no problem with your children joining

I hope everything goes well for you

Amy

Michelle, the girls are more than welcome here for all the support and encouragement they may need. Even if they just need to drop by for a chat every so often. I'm sure everyone here will welcome them with open arms.

All the very best.

been advised by useless solicitor to just plead guilty to the extra charges.
So the function of your lawyer is what exactly? The police would no doubt give you the exact same advise, but for free!

Want some advise from me? If so then read on.

Contest EVERY charge. You will find the police have hit you with everything they can think of and were probably laughing and joking as they were doing it - imagine:

"Bob - what about this one? (laughs and points to the charge)
Bruce - (laughing) yeah good one. What is the tally so far?
Jim - come on fella, lets find another 20 before lunch - some days are so much fun (laughs)"

This may not be that far off the mark - you can bet they weren't treating this seriously like a university exam.

So what can you do?

You need to fight.

If you plead guilty, there is little doubt you will do time for crimes you never committed. Once sentenced you are in a far worse situation. You can't come here for starters! You are on your own.

So you need to itemise your charges. Categorize them. Identify the criminal code that they have been brought under. Then under each charge write a sentence or two for your reference as to the validity of the charge (the truth of it - whether you will fight it).

Your lawyer sounds like a lazy sod. That is why they recommend a guilty plea! That and you aren't rich or they would be all over you like the leeches they are.

If you plead guilty, you will NOT get less time for "co-operation" so don't even think about that. Rather think, that pleading guilty is to put the noose of injustice around your own neck - not the best thing to do and your lawyer is a bum to even suggest that to you!

You have a heck of a lot of work ahead of you. You need to fight this.

149 charges would be years in prison. I doubt you would get a good behaviour bond - or do you really think that? Since when are the courts just?

I am not a lawyer but I have 23 years experience of the system - having gone through it as a teenager for a crime I never committed and now as a 41 year old trying to clear my name - after having served a full sentence. No prior or previous convictions.

If you have some questions for me, remembering this is just my opinion, you are welcome to ask me in my thread:

http://prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=155222

I sincerely wish you the best.

Michelle, tell the girls they are more than welcome here.They would need your support.
Is there any way that they can come and see you?
If you get 5 years that is a long time without your mum around (Im meaning for the girls)

How are you coping with it all? I agree listen to Chris, he is full of great info and untill you get sentenced we are here for you to get you through this.
Is there any chance of getting an adjournement and getting a new lawyer?
MY hubby has been up for sentenced 6 times and it keeps getting it adjourned so I am sure there must be a way for you to get that done.

We are all here for you and your family.

*hugs*
Kellie

Hi All,

Chris, thanks for that very informative post! I contacted my lawyer immediately upon reading it (well, ASAP afterwards!) and would you believe a few things have changed as of 4.30pm yesterday afternoon! The main factor is that the total amount has now been re-calculated to exclude any salary/wages/bonus payments (these were under contract & my old employer disputed this...I faxed through a copy of my contract yesterday morning and..voila...those amounts/charges now excluded!). So, at the District Court level there is one charge (I gather this is standard procedure in fraud cases to reduce the total charges down to just one for ease of hearing?) with the total amount now just under $350K. Being under $400K makes a HUGE difference in the time I will do...so thanks again.

Oh, I am also being represented in court by a Barrister (who I know as I used to drink with him and a few other friends at the local hotel!!!). I rang his office & he was just running out the door but said..Michelle, it's good to hear your voice, I will ring you back tomorrow when I have some more time so we can chat. To me, this sounds positive.

Kellie, thanks again for the welcome. It's good to know there is a place I can come to...and also a place for my girls to vent/get support from people who understand what they will be going through.

*hugs*

Michelle

Hi All,

Chris, thanks for that very informative post!

Hi, I replied here:

http://prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1766652#post1766652

I'm sara, 22 from Western australia. My brother is in casuarina

Hearing Set For 26 April And 1st May This Year...he Has Breached A Suspended Sentence So We Will Be Applying For Home Detention For The Remainder Of His Suspended Sentence....can Anyone Tell Me If A Suspended Sentence Can Be Reduced.....his Solicitor Said He Should Have Appealed The Suspended Sentence When It Was Handed Down Because The Crime Was So Petty....theft Of 2 Bottles Of Perfume From The Local Grace Brothers Store.

Hi everyone,
My fella is in Fulham, victoria. I'm the other side of Melbourne. I guess it could be worse. We thought he would get a maximum of 12 months if he got any time at all. Instead the judge gave him 39 months top and 24 bottom. We are just sick. The judge did not take into account that he had a job and if he was not incarcerated he could still work and make restitution. The judge was also critical that he did not sell the house or cars to make restitution. His barrister pointed out that the police had slapped restraining orders on our property so that he could not sell them but the judge took no notice of that. Now they are trying to confiscate everything. I have to defend the confiscation (who knows how I'll pay for it) and he is lodging an appeal against the severity of the sentence but we are not hopeful. I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished for what he did but I'm being punished more than he is. Justice is for those who can afford it.


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How true Justice is for those who can afford it!!!!!!
Even my kids know that one, they have asked if we pay them money can we have him home as people with money dont get much prison time if any!!!!!!!

hello my name is Natalee. i wish i knew about this on David's last sentence as it was 18 months this time its only 6 months. i am 28 live in cold Canberra have a 4 yr old boy named Caleb who is missing his daddy very much.
At present i cannot visit till i receive a letter from NSW corrections saying i can because i stupidly had money i forgot about in my bra told an officer, to make a long story short was stripped searched by police told i could go back to my visit but Junee CC informed me i was no longer allowed to visit for a period of 2 yrs. so really i should have kept my mouth shut when i realised.
as i said in another post this sentence is hard for us both as we lost a little girl at 37 weeks gest. in december 2005.
Our relationship has seen everything been through everything and its still exactally that a relationship.
I am one of those girls that seems to put up with everything but people dont see what happens behind closed doors. he is actually a very loving father and my best friend.
This will be his last sentence as after 8 yrs we realises he misses his family (us) he has spent almost 15 yrs of his life behind bars from juv till now. His mother walked out on him as a child left him with his alco father who bashed and raped him on a regular basis. Jail was a home and a family for him.
Then i came along and showed him what unconditional love was about. now he is lost home sick and cant wait to come home YAY!
anyway thanks for listening to my shortened version of david meets natalee LOL

Hi guys i just found this site and am so happy that i finally found a place where i can chat to people in the same situation without having the stigma attached. My partner is in Barwon prison and was supposed to be released last saturday but as these low life officers think that they can play with prisoners lives have just ruined ours. My partner had his parole pulled one week before due to come home because he told an officer where to go after a strip search and urine was conducted. When he did the strip search the officer wanted my partner to spread his cheeks wide apart and in all the time he has done in jail he has never been asked to spread them that far, anyway when he declined the officer said"why haven't you ever had anything in your ass, now my partner got pissed off coz he made sexual refrences towards him and then the officer terminated the urine and called security,my partner went to governors court and got a $80 fine for failing to comply with a direct order and the urine was struck out because they didn't give him the 3hr time limit to provide anyway. 7 days later they recharged him, that can't be done it's double jeopardy,anyway i spoke to his lawyer and she looked up the acts and it is illegal but the board still pulled his parole. The lawyer sent the board the acts and now they want ot see him on the 5th may and thats not guaranteed anyway. See how officers play with the lives of prisoners and it's not fair, i just can't cope anymore im sick of seeing him through glass because he's on box visits now. Im sorry for rambling on i just needed to get this out and this is the best place to do it and i hope to meet alot of people and get good helpful advice.:angry:

hi yes i know all about visits and losing them i wont visit through glass cant stand to see him like that and its not fair on my 4 yr old son to see his dad like that.
Anyway i am here most of the day and night if you ever want to chat also feel free to add me if you use messenger msn or yahoo its natncaleb

Hey Everyone,
Im New here I live on the Southside of Brisbane and my hubby recently sent to prison I cannott believe what i am reading...So much for the freekin justice system and it seems the correctional officers seem to do what they dam well please...Im a newbie and look forward to chatting with anyone who would like to..Hugz to you girls....

Jamelly welcome i am only new here but online lots hope to chat soon
Natalee xoxoxo

Hi my name is omni. My son is in the system and his partner goes to court next week. At the moment i feel like my whole world is falling apart. I live in N.S.W.
He is in Parklea.

Hello Omni, and welcome to PTO. Any questions you have or if you just need comeone to chat to, there is always someone here!

:p hi, from New Zealand, :cool: Waikato,Have two i know inside and am finding it a MISSION:eek: to ease my worried mind... you know the questions you ask yourself...Are they o.k? why are they in for? how long? These never got a true answer, so i ask for help...please if anyone knows where a male servcing time for drug related charges goes? and Arohata prison...how someone is doing in there? Stay strong and true to yourself, ;) your never truly alone........

HI and welcome to PTO. I cannot personally assist you. I do wish you all the best on your mission as you say. The what if's are so horrible in this situation.

Hi all
Great website and glad to see others from round Australia joining in. I am from the South West in Sydney and am a Mum of a teenage daughter whose boyfriend is currently awaiting his drug related sentencing. This is a whole new scene for our family and we are taking one day at a time. Good luck to everyone out there who has a loved one behind bars.;)

HI and Welcome to PTO. Glad you found us. This can be a very scary ride at times but you will find others here who have and are going through what you are.
Best wishes to you and your family, hope all goes well. Look forward to talking to you more.

Hi all I am new to the site but am so glad I found it...
I am in Canberra and have a loved one over at Goulburn and just trying to get my head around everything still, so has been great to read the posts on this forum.

Hello everyone.I found this site a week or so ago and was so relieved. I think it is just fantastic. I have just finished serving a couple of years. My first and last time as a guest of her Majesty!

To Drakey Divine
I just read your thread about where people might be and what they are in for etc.There is an organisation called PARS (Prisoner Aid and Rehabilitation )which may be able to help you,they should be listed in your local white pages. Also the Sensible sentencing Trust has a web site you may want to look at but be warned they aren't impartial!Good luck.

HI Ludo, great you found us. Welcome to PTO. Look forward to chatting with you.
Like your remark about staying with her majesty! :)

Hi everyone. My fiance is currently being classified in Cessnock Jail after receiving a 6 month sentence a few days ago for habitual driving offences. After the arrests (caught unlicensed 3 times in a week) and subsequent loss of employment due to them he adopted a "who gives a damn attitude" and turned to drugs to block out his impending fate. I watched my love of 2 years turn from a hard working homebody fitness freak into this crazy arrogant liar who lost all grasp on priorities, authority, time and loyalty. It seemed like one day we were just a happy couple just reeling with excitement about the news that my 'tummy bug' was actually a foetus, then the overnight I was fronted with this semi literate, blank eyed stranger who just stopped caring. Anyway during his 9 week drug binging, I chose to centre my concerns on my baby and told him my tolerance was just about finished and instructed him not to bother coming back. 3 weeks ago he went into a psychotic drug fuelled rage smashing my house up including our babys cot and brand new toys and I was forced to call the police. He left before they arrived and I made a statement which I was told would result in his arrest for breaching avo conditions and malicious damage. The week before sentencing he finally turned up straight, ready to talk and seemingly very remorseful over his actions. We spent the week soul searching and reuniting. Out of long term loyalty and relief to finally see the man I fell in love with finally re-emerge, I escorted him to court the day of sentencing. He left me his bank card ensuring me there were enough funds for our baby and I to be financially secure and told me to be strong until he came out ready to be a man. He received his 6 month sentence and then the following day I receive a call from the police who finally arrested him over the incident at my house. He told me my fiance had informed him I would not be going through with any of the charges, which was news to me.

Now im torn. I love him and hate him at the same time. I believe all actions have consequences but he doesnt concede that what he did was wrong because it was drugs, not him.

If I drop charges im basically telling him it was ok to smash up my house, and tear my life apart for almost 3 months. If I dont he now has to face court as an incarcerated prisoner and will definatly get his sentence lengthened.

I am a mess. Why has this legal responsibility been thrown back to me? It seems morally wrong to allow justice to take it's course, but then it's morally wrong to put me through the hell that has been my life since this started.

I miss him and havnt been sleeping or eating properly. His mother told me that I should feel no shame or guilt whatsoever for not revoking an AVO.

Im so angry right now that i have to give birth alone, that he wasnt there for me more than half my pregnancy and that I came second to drugs.

Just because he's seen the light now does that eliminate all his actions from the past?

I want to be a family and my baby boy to have a father but I dont think my dignity can allow me to stand up in a court of law and tell them I now revoke my statement.

I cant explain to any friends or aquaintances how hard it is lying in bed wondering how he is or the emotion that is a cross between love/anger and questioning resentment. Its a lonliness they may never understand. Thats why I came here. It's long but ive been like a badly functioning zombie for days now so I guess this is my way of getting it out. Even if nobody reads it, it was therapeutic writing it :o

Hi newcastlerox and welcome! The decision ofcourse is yours. I have been inside thou and really do not believe that extra time served would be good for you or your man. So can I make this suggestion?Make pulling out of the charges conditional to him agreeing to some form of drug rehabilitative programme-and make it official.You may need to check out with a lawyer or support agency how to do this.over here in NZ you could just have him write to the parole board requesting that when he fronts upto them they make any realease conditional on him completing the course.That way even if he tried to get out of it they wouldnot let him!Goodluck and take care.

Welcome to PTO.
You are the only one who needs to live your life, we could tell you what to do but you will do what you feel is best.
I understand he violated you and is now is in prison and you dont want him there and to spend longer there for what he did to you, if you choose to go ahead with the charges. whatever you choose it wont be easy.
my heart goes out to you and your situation.
You have a exciting new time coming up and best wishes for a quick easy birth.
Please let us know how you go, we are here to assist each other when it feels like no-one understands this situation, alot here do.

You have a exciting new time coming up and best wishes for a quick easy birth.

They are predicting this baby could reach the 10 pound mark (amazing wat ultrasound can determine these days)

So I hope it's quick, but im predicting it wont be easy!

Im going to see him in the morning so i'll see how that goes.

His mother told me he deserves to pay but my mother told me jail is the last place he should be trying to clean up and rehabilitate.

:idea:

OUCH 10 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!

I know of a few people who cleaned up while inside and stayed clean. There are success stories out there.

newcastlerox,

I wish you the best of luck. Like the others have said, only you can make the call and we can all see your dilemma.

I have heard that in NSW, the police don't always let you make this decision for this EXACT reason. I was under the impression that once the statement had been made and warrant out for his arrest, then the charges had to be laid and answered to. HOW WRONG WAS I?!?!?!?!?!

I don't envy you at all. But I do know you will make the best decision for you and your baby.

All the best.

You are right. I can refuse to give evidence, however the policeman has told me over the phone he is charging him regardless and as the AVO has been breached once before the court would take matters into their own hands. The fact that Brand New Fisher Price Toys were smashed to bits, and there were baby clothes scatted from one end of the street to the other when the police arrive (not to mention my blonde hair drowned in 2 litres of cranberry juice) doesnt help the cop to show any sympathy.

I seen him Sunday morning and it was awesome. He still awaiting classification in maximum so had the whole strict guildlines and flattering white overalls but ironically i cant remember him looking better in a LONG time. His eyes FINALLY have life in them and he was talking really positive. He told me dont feel guilt re the charges because he's prepared to face up and told me he should never have expected me to stick up for him anyway.

Im hoping the judge will take into consideration all these incidents took place within an extremely short period and concede that he was just a mess and show some leniancy. I know NOTHING about the law though so im prob just dreaming. Until Sunday I had never even been to a prison. My mum was Cessnock midwife for 30 years and said often min security prisoners were allowed to be at the birth, but she doubts they would waste their resources allowing him to be with me as im having my baby in Newcastle :o

He's pretty crushed about that as he knows I wont have any more children so this will be his 1st and only son...but im feeling better now he's lifted my guilt somewhat (although clearly still not sleeping properly as it's now 4.30am:cool: )

Im feeling better now and only cried ONCE today so im starting to come to terms with the fact he's gone for now (but not forever)

Hey NewcastleRox.
Weird seeing another Newcastle person on here.
If you need to know anything about Cessnock Jail, Feel free to PM me or ask me on here. My bro spent most of his 9 months on remand at Cessnock, in between times he was moved all over Sydney *Sigh* and then back to Cessnock. He spent about 3 months in Minimum at Cessnock too. But was moved to Muswellbrook 2 weeks ago.

So if you need to know anything about Cessnock or anything, just ask. :)

hi all...hope to find a mate..he is Carl Ranford.... please anyone that might have ANY information on where he be...PLEASE let me know... have been looking for along time now... just need to ease a worried mind...thanks again to anyone who can help...

Hey all,

Im Bella, 27 from Sydney.

My hubby and I met while he was serving 2 years in December 2000 - we have a gorgeous little boy.

Im really hoping that someone knows an inmate whose in Sydney(NSW) who would like a penpal - I miss corresponding with someone, I love writing letters, I feel like Im actually doing something for someone!

If any one can help me find a prisoner to write to - preferably under 35!

Hi Bella,

Welcome to PTO!! :) Great to meet you!!

Welcome to PTO. Glad you found us.
Great to hear things have worked out of your family.

Hi Bella,welcome

hi to all
baldeagle from NSW single mother with 4 kids. my eldest daughter is in new zealand awaiting for sentencing need all your support. thanks

Hi Baldeagle and welcome to PTO and the Australian, NZ forum!! :) You will find lots of support here!! Great to meet you!! :)

Hi am from NZ been in prison there but am now happily living in Aus with my 2nd husband and 2 kids.
thought i would drop in a say hi ;)

Hey chook, I have been in the situation you are facing.
My ex husband did the same to me when I was 3 mnths pregnant but as well as smahing everything in the house he also took to me.
It was the alcohol that made him do it, anyways cut a long story short everytime he went to court he got remanded and he tried his hardest to get me to drop the charges but he destroyed everything i had.
his mum tried to take our lil girl away because I had put him in jail.
The whole guilt trip thing worked I gave in dropped the charges then spent the next 12 mnths having the life kicked out of me before i finally got the courage to leave.
Thats not to say that it would be the same for you though
Emma

Hi phoenix1311! Welcome to PTO!

I hope you find the support here you are looking for!

Welcome phoenix1311 and baldeagle.I am sure you will find this site really helpful.I hope all goes well with the sentencing.

Hi All

I've been reading these posts for a while now and have finally decided to post something myself. I was wondering if anyone knows anything about Junee, as my Barrister thinks this is where I will most likely end up - sentencing date is to be set next week, my Barrister thinks late this year, or more likely early next year, probably looking at a minimum term of 2 years.

Hi Belly and welcome to PTO!! :) I had a family member in Junee.

Hi Belly Welcome to the PTO family. Glad you found us.

Hi Belly-Wellcome,sorry I can't help with any details but hope all goes well for you.

If you live in Australia, please stop by and introduce yourself to everyone in this forum! I am sure everyone else will be happy to know you are here and what part of Australia you are from..

Thanks!
David

I worked in Qld prisons recently for several years and am happy to answer questions about the life inside and help in any way that I can

Hi and welcome to PTO!! :) Great to meet you!!

Hi and Welcome to PTO. I feel you knowledge will be valuable to others.
Glad you found us.

Hey chook, I have been in the situation you are facing.
My ex husband did the same to me when I was 3 mnths pregnant but as well as smahing everything in the house he also took to me.
It was the alcohol that made him do it, anyways cut a long story short everytime he went to court he got remanded and he tried his hardest to get me to drop the charges but he destroyed everything i had.
his mum tried to take our lil girl away because I had put him in jail.
The whole guilt trip thing worked I gave in dropped the charges then spent the next 12 mnths having the life kicked out of me before i finally got the courage to leave.
Thats not to say that it would be the same for you though
Emma

Hi Phoenix thanks for the comments. It never ceases to amaze me how many lives have been affected by substance abuse. I never did retract my statement or revoke the AVO because I honestly believed that him asking or expecting me to was indication he still wasn't prepared to take responsibility for his actions. The thought that he could have potentially received a further 6 months or so was awful and I was torn at the time but I felt that it was my final chance to stand up for myself and our baby, and prove to him that I will NEVER tolerate this behaviour again.

He was sentenced 4 days after being locked up for the driving charges and received a 4 month sentence to be served concurrent (whatever that means) but basically his 4 months was restarted from that date which added another 4 days to his sentence. Im glad I didn't retract the statement for a few reasons. One being that if I ever find myself in a similar situation I would probably be on a low priority if I wanted assistance (ie- a nuisance).
The other reason is that he knows that more severe consequences are guaranteed if he ever gives a repeat performance.
Finally, he now says that not a day goes by where he doesnt feel total shame over the way he treated me and that he cant imagine how or why it took more than 4 weeks of his constant psychotic episodes for me to finally do something about it as I shouldn't have had to tolerate 1 day living like that. He wrote me letter even though we talk everyday and visit twice a week telling me that his biggest regret in life is leaving me to go through my pregnancy alone but that being locked up was one op the best things that could have happened at the time. He is happy and optimistic being drug free and says that he knows that he will never be able to smoke another bong again, and for the first time in his life that thought doesnt scare him. He says he plans to spend the rest of his life proving to me that chosing to take this last chance on him was not a bad decision. He claims that even the thought of coming out clean and being a great father to our our baby and my 15yo son gives him more of a high than any drug ever has.

I hope he means it and stands by it. In my opinion there is no debt for him to repay. I chose to stand by him and that is on equal ground. As far as im concerned, the rest of our future begins in 60 days when hopefully we can move forward together and give the kids a loving, happy stable home that EVERY child deserves.

If he ever goes back I will walk without hesitation and give my kids all those things without him. He now understands that.

I hope your life has been happier after the experience with your ex. When you've experienced bad things in life, it helps you appreciate the good times. Odd that being a victim of degrading, demeaning mental and/or physical abuse just makes us stronger in the end.:thumbsup:

hey everyone im shaunna from western australia:) my man is currently locked up in a correctional institution in wisconsin america (im moving to america in 2008) but im on here to talk to people that know in a way what im going through:) hope you are all having a good day/night

Hi Shaunna and welcome to PTO!! :) You will find lots of support here!!

thanks i look forward to it, i've already found this site very helpful and friendly:)

Hi
i'm Elki am in my twenty's am from new south wales bout an hour and a bit outside of sydney, i'm a social work student and i correspond with an inmate from florida. :thumbsup:

Hi shaunna and Elki welcome to the PTO family. Glad you found us.

Hi.Im very new to this.My bf is in prison in Victoria.This is week 2 and counting.:(

Hi gemgem,

Welcome to PTO!! :) We have a few members here that have loved ones in Victoria.

Hi Gem,
welcome to the PTO family, glad you found us.
The begining is so very hard. We are here for each other.

Thankyou guys for making me feel welcome.Yes the begining is so very hard,and i searched everywhere to find a place like this.Im so glad i found it.Just reading helps.Im finding it hard at the moment just waiting.He hasnt been told much,they said last week there is a chance he will be moved to beechworth on tuesday(tomorrow)but not a word since.I was wondering if other people found that too...that you dont get told anything,and neither do your loved ones.This is a first time for us,so we have never had anything to do with the Victorian prison system.Thanks again,and its good to know im not alone.

Hi Gem, welcome to PTO. It's great that you found us- this place is really helpful (although it has been quiet the last few days...). Anything at all that you need, or you can think of to ask, just let us know! Happy to help :)

Amanda

Hi Amanda.Thanks for the welcome. I had noticed it had been quiet. My man was moved to Beechworth today.Im happy that now we know where he is and there is no more waiting. Thankyou all for your support.

Hey Gem we didint get told anything for ages and then were told he was going to move to another prison every week. It took 4mths for the transfer. My Hubby may be the exception though.
I Hope you have heard something by now.

Hi all, my name is Rebecca and im from Toowoomba Queensland. My partner is currently in borallon cc waiting endlessly to be released 4th december. He was sent for 3 months two days after I gave birth to our second son in september. I found this forum on a google search and have found alot of usefull information on the boards. Thankyou for taking time to read..... Rebecca.

Hi Gemgem
My boyfriend went to Beechworth the same day as your partner. They probably went in the same bus together, and I think they actually may be sharing a unit. My boyfriend has never been in jail before either.

How is your partner finding it there? My bf says its ok. For the past week he has just been watching TV, using the gym and playing basketball. This week he starts work there.

If you look in the thread thingy with the title Beechworth Correctional, there is heaps of detailed info from JailByrde. I printed it all out and found it very helpful.
Message back if you want to chat

Hi Rebecca, Welcome to PTO and glad you found us. Good to hear you found so much useful info here.
Feel free to post away.

Hi Rebecca and welcome to PTO!! :)

Hello everybody.

I'm really happy to have found your forum. I am from Quebec (Canada) and my brother got arrested the day after Christmas at the Sydney airport. We thought he was on vacation in Mexico! Needless to say we feel very far from him. Communications are hard (he spoke twice to my parents) and my parents are going nuts over this. He's in MRRC Silverwater, waiting for his day in court (feb 14) and a sentence, before we can think of getting him home (a canadian prison that is) it could take a year.

We do not know a lot about your country, but thanks to the internet we now know MRRC is the biggest prison in Australia. To add to the ordeal, my brother talked to his girlfriend saying he had been beaten up by other inmates, but on the same night was reassuring my parents saying he was OK and felt safe... Biiiiig worries.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have questions for you in the coming days. Or I might just come back to let some steam out. Meanwhile, I just wanted to say hi.

Hugo from Quebec.

Hi Hugo,

Welcome to the Australian/NZ forum!!! :) Glad you found us.

Hi Hugo

Welcome! Glad you found us. Im sure you will find some answers here, and pleanty of support too:) .

Hi Hugo, Welcome to the PTO family, glad you found us. Feel free to post away.

Hi all, just joined up today, been looking through posts... seems like there's some wonderful, caring people here.

My partner got locked up on our first anniversary, 15th Dec 2006, with a non-parole period of 22 months. He's in Silverwater minimum security at the moment, probably till his next classo which they tell him is at the end of March. Hopefully then he'll get sent to a farm - I'm hoping Glenn Innes cos I'm up the Mid-Nth coast & it'd be easier for me to visit. I haven't visited him at all yet - apart from the fact that I'm totally broke & living in the bush on my own with animals to care for & it's a long way, the thought of seeing my beautiful free spirit mate in a place like Silverwater just horrifies me! I feel bad about not visiting but he keeps telling me it's ok, he understands, & not to stress about it.

This is the second time 'round for me - my daughter's father spent time in QLD 22 yrs ago, first in Boggo Rd on remand then Wacol then Palen Ck. I remember only too well what it was like seeing him in Boggo & Wacol, but Palen Ck was very different.

Anyway hi to all, I'm glad I found this forum, I'm aware that compared to many of you, I'm in a much easier situation to cope with all this (my kids have all grown up & I'm living in a very beautiful place), even tho it's going to be a long road ahead...

Anyone got someone in Silverwater Correctional (min)?

Dingo Girl

:wave: Hi JD's Dingo Girl and Welcome to PTO. So glad that you found us. :D

HI JD'S Dingo Girl welcome to the PTO family and we are glad you found us. Feel free to post.

Hey JD's Dingo Girl! Welcome to PTO. Glad you found us! I also have a partner in minimum in NSW but he is in the south west.

Welcome JD's Dingo Girl! :)

Hi JD's Dingo Girl!!! Welcome to PTO!! :)

Thanks for the warm welcomes :)
I'm not sure where to start, I find these forum thingos a bit confusing with all the threads & stuff - I suppose I should just spend some time looking through all the old threads before I post too much on this one, or go starting a new one with a subject that's already been covered?

Welcome to PTO JD's Dingo Girl.

We all do it tough in different ways so you'll find lots of support here when you are having a rough day or when you have something pleasant to share.

Glad you found us.

Wys

Hi. I joined here the other day and thought I would say hi.

My husband is facing charges for stealing, he is due in court on March 27 for sentancing.

HI and welcome to the PTO Family, Glad you found us. Feel Free to post away.

Hi scared07, welcome to PTO and the Australia/NZ forum!! :) Great to meet you!!

I think that all of you do a great job in what you do. But i think it would be nice that if we ask questions, we could get answers, because that is what we are looking for in this forum. If you know about law overseas then that is great, but if you know about law here from were were all asking than answer us. If you dont know the answer to our questions, then please find someone who can answer for us. This is why i found this forum to find answeres, and i havent found them. Chat room is great, but we need to know the answers to all our questions.

What questions do you needs answers to Omni?

I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that members at PTO will answer any questions we can, or point you in the right direction if we can't. Although some are more experienced in the court systems or the prison system than others, not many, if any, are actually trained in the legal field. It is for this reason, that if we do not respond to your questions, it is because we do not know the answer and have no intention of leading you up a garden path by pretending that we do.

I understand your frustration. Getting answers to questions in regards to the legal system is like pulling teeth! And while we all do our best to help each other out with this, we don't always have the answer to all questions.

I believe PTO is not just about getting answers to your questions. It's about having a support network of people who are more likely to understand what we are going through. It's about having a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. And it's about sharing happy stories when things go well.

Just my 2c.

Kia ora from the Mainland of New Zealand !

I have a pp i have been writing to at ESP Nevada for 9 months now and hope to visit him in the near future.

:) Blessings

Hi and welcome to PTO!!! :) Great to meet you!!!

Hello Whitebird! Glad you found us!

Hello Whitebird glad you found us. Welcome to the PTO Family.

Omni
I think that all of you do a great job in what you do. But i think it would be nice that if we ask questions, we could get answers, because that is what we are looking for in this forum. If you know about law overseas then that is great, but if you know about law here from were were all asking than answer us. If you dont know the answer to our questions, then please find someone who can answer for us. This is why i found this forum to find answeres, and i havent found them. Chat room is great, but we need to know the answers to all our questions.

In reply to your qoute above.
Thank you both Nessy, I and the members of PTO do a great job. We all would like to see PTO have all the information that we need, a one stop shop for all. Both Nessy and I have been working very hard, behind the scenes of PTO. We are both trying very hard to make sure this information will be available on PTO. To have PTO a known place for support and information, unfortunatley so far we have not had a positive response and now are working towards other ways to bring PTO out to others with a great source of information.
Yes it can be very fusturating not knowing and not having the answers you need. So far I think all of the members have done amazing work in assisting other members when they have had questions to the appropriate agency. Thank you all for this.

PTO was made when an inmate dreamed of a way all friends and family involved in the system could come together for support and information.

It does take time and we really hope this year we will have PTO to the Goal Nessy I and others have been dreaming of too, we are working towards. Yeah we have the chatroom which has been great.

Please do keep in mind PTO's policy below.
• Legal Related Posts & Issues:
Prison Talk Online DOES NOT endorse any legal advice given anyplace within the Prison Talk Online community. We highly recommend that members and guests get the advice of an accredited legal expert whenever possible and never rely on just one source.

Omni post your suggestions on PTO so we can all make PTO a better place. Also post you questions we may be able to assit you with them.

Hi I am new .. my name is Laura and I am from Melbourne. My partner is at Beechworth in Vic. I am 27 weeks pregnant and A gets out 8 days after our little girl is due, so hopefully i can hold on!.

A was first sent to MAP in Late Nov, and then they transferred him to Port Phillip for two weeks before moving him to Beechworth. We are pretty lucky as it is a really nice place for him. Next week will see the half way point and only 3 months left to go :)

Hi Laura, welcome to PTO and the Australian/NZ forum!! :) Great to meet you!!!

Hey Laura!

Glad you made it! If you've got questions about Beechworth, I've got answers. And if I don't, I can probably find them for you. And you're right. It's a good place. "A" will be ok. Promise.

JB

Hi Laura Glad you found us and welcome to the PTO family. Congrats on your pregnancy.

Hi Laura, Welcome to PTO!

Hi All,

My name is Narelle and i live in Sydney NSW. My Boyfriend is in Junee Correctional Centre - a lovely 4 1/2 hour drive away each direction!...have been reading posts for the last few days and thought it was about time i introduced myself. Am very happy i stumbled across this site!.

Hi Narelle, welcome to PTO and the Australia/NZ forum!!! :) Great to meeet you.

Hi Narelle, Glad you found us welcome to the PTO family.

Hi Whitebird, Laura and Narelle

Welcome to "the family" Narelle! Glad you found us!

:wave: Hi there Whitebird, Laura, Narelle S07 & Seenitall (I joined while you were away)

Hi and Welcome to PTO. Wow i go away for a few weeks and come back to see all these new members. Which is both good and bad. Good that you've found us, but bad as another family has to go through this.

You guys have to come the right place. Lots of love and support.

Gem

hi all, just thought i'd say hi, my husband in in old silverwater in NSW not sure for how long, as always depends onthe parole board and charges, great to find somewhere like this as my family really just dont get where i'm coming from and why i stay with my man.

Hi Katykat. Welcome to PTO and I'm glad you found us!

Hi Katykat, welcome to PTO and the Australia/NZ Forum. Great to meet you. :)

hi can anyone tell me about a judgee english, from n.w.s.

Hi…I am new to the forum and just thought I introduce myself. My bf is in Fulham, but I am oversees at the moment so it is really hard because I can’t go and visit him during this hard time. Luckily we have made half way thru by now.
I was there when he got into the MAP. It took me quit a while to get over it and start going back to live me life. I am really happy I found this forum because I have been feeling really alone with the situation.

Glad you found us Lara07 you will find alot of assistance and acceptance with the PTO family. Welcome your one of us.

Hi All!!
my partner is in invercargill prison he went in when i was 4months pregnant and our son is now 3 months old, i'm so glad i found this site too as no-one else understands and its sooo hard being without him

Welcome to PTO Mia. You will find lots of support here.

Hi Lara and Mia!! :) Welcome to PTO and the Australian/NZ Forums!! Great to have you here with us!!

Hi Everyone,

My name is Tara and I just found this site while doing some searches online for my parents. My brother has just been put into prison 2 weeks ago for the first time and natually we are very nervous about the whole process. He is in Port Phillip as of today. We are not too sure where he will be placed after this but it has been an emotional rollorcoaster for us all. It is great to find a great forum like this full of information. 2 thumbs up!! :)

Hello and welcome Tara. You will find lots of support here. If you have any questions just post them. You are bound to get answers that will help you through this journey. All I can say for now is, it gets easier as time passes.

Hi and Welcome to the PTO family Tara. Glad you found us.

Welcome all to the PTO family. :)

Hey all
My names Nicole, my partener is in Casurina Prison in WA, Perth he got 4 years jail was elegiable for parole May last year but parole board kept knocking him back because he hadn't done the Cognitive skills course... he has now been in there for 3 years and 2 months and his next review is on the 26th of july as he has just finished this course so hopefully they will let him out...

Hey Nicole, Welcome to the PTO family glad you found us. hope all goes well for 26/7.

Hi

I am so glad I accidently stumbled across this site as I am going through a tough time at the moment. I am facing time away ( anything at this stage from 18 months to possibly 5 years or longer) and the case has been going for nearly two years now (I am on bail). I will be sentenced in the next 6 or 7 weeks. my main issue is that I will be leaving behind some of the most wonderful people you will ever meet, My wife, two children to a previous marriage and three step children, My ever supportive mother. I have been reading flat out since I have found you guys and you have answered some Important questions for me. The main reason this site has brought relief to me is that my wife will be able to get advise and help when im not here to give it. you cannot imagine the relief that that brings to me. Thank you all for the information as I had no Idea at all what to expect.

Hi novacastrian, welcome to PTO. Really glad you found us, especially before you go in. At least you know your wife will have support from us as we are all going through what she will face. This site has kept me and so many others going through this time. Let us know how you get on and don't hesitate to post any questions you have.

Wys

thanks wys
I dont know where to start with the questions so I have been doing alott of reading of others questions which has covered so many questions I had. I thought reading would save you guys answering the same question over and over again.
One question I have not found an answer to yet is that I have read people mention protected custody but What is it as compared to normal ???? from what I can gather it is not that good for the person but it must protect them from other inmates or something ??
I wish i had found this site and you guys 2 years ago when I was first arested. then you could have helped me answer some questions about the whole procedure. I have been living in 6 week blocks (between court dates and never knowing what will happen next until that day) I feel I have died a thousand deaths.
Thanks again it seems you guys have helped so many even though you are going through personal pain of youre own. I take my hat off to you all

Protective Custody is usually used for those who have hassles or are too afraid to be in general population. As far as I know, in Protection, you get like 1 hour out of your cell a day to excercise in a small secure yard, though it may also differ from jail to jail.

Thanks

HI Novacastrian,
Welcome to the PTO family. glad you found us. good luck for your up coming hearing.
I am glad to hear you can feel some ease about your family having us here.
Em77

Novo, I don't know about NSW, but my fiance, who is in Qld, has been in protective custody. He has much more freedom than Lauren's post suggested, but she may know more about this than I do because she is in NSW. He is only required to be in his room for lockdowns, and after 6:30 PM each night, until mornings. They only get one hour outside for exercise a day, but are pretty free inside during the day to play cards, watch TV etc. I don't know if they are in NSW, but if you can find Catholic Prison Ministries, or a similar group, they can give you lots of information too. There should also be a legal network for prisoners in NSW and they also are helpful. Like you, I wish I had known about these resources much earlier. You in the hardest part of it now: the anguish of not knowing what is going to happen. Just know, that for as long as you are able, you can come here for support.

Thanks guys
As I said any information will help.
For me the last two years not knowing where or how I will be in a few weeks has not only been hard on me but also hard on all those who care for me. I can only hope as you say this is the worst part of it. I love my family and the knowing that I have put them through hell is eating me up.
Quite a few of my family turned thier backs the second they heard I was in trouble one has not even spoken to me he sent his wife to find out what hapened and the no contact from either of them since. The worst part of that is my mum is traped in the middle of it all.
Sorry for rambling on
Thanks again

Hi a little confusing this Thread said Australia and New Zealand as title and than the second line it says something about if you from Australia than do introduce yourself no mention of NZ......:confused:

anyway Wellington New Zealand here. Sorry if I misunderstood the thread

Hey windygirl - I had never noticed that. I will fix it up now.
Welcome to the PTO family and glad you found us. Look foward to talking to you more.

Welcome to the Oz/NZ forum, Windygirl, from the land of the long white cloud and great music!

Novacastrian, this is indeed the worst time - the not knowing, fear of the unkown to come. If you do get time inside, from what I have learned through my partner's experience, attitude is everything. A positive, respectful attitude may not always seem to serve you well as there can be much injustice, but in the long run it is noticed, noted and rewarded. There are many lessons that can be learned through such an experience - opportunities for personal growth and future possibilities that you would not be presented with otherwise. Please tell your family not to be shy, but to join us here for some amazing support and a wealth of information.

Sending strength,
Dingogirl

Thanks Dingogirl

Yes I believe that every experience we get sent has lessons in it.
Even if the lessons are not obvious at first or are painfull. We are all on this earth to learn and I am open minded all the time in an attemp to learn every chance I get. I am not a trouble maker and plan to be as cooperative as is humanly possible as I know anything else will bring more trouble than what I am already in and that is the last thing my family or I need.
My wife and mum have been learning from what I have found here and will make themselves known soon.
Thanks again

Novo

Hi and Salam

I am an Australian from Armidale NSW, living in Brisbane. I have had a few relationships with men whom have been in Australian prisons, in NSW, QLD, SA, and WA. At the moment officially unofficially the third wife of a traditional Aboriginal man.

Oh yeah, I am a Muslim as well.

So Ramadan Mubarak to the inmates and alaykumu'as-salam from me self

HI Curaezipirid,

Welcome to the PTO family and glad you found us.

Hello everyone. My husband is likely to be going into Grafton - maybe in January but perhaps even before then. This is a first for both of us and we are very worried. We only got married 3 months ago - we met 8 months ago and both fell hard. He told me he had a problem hanging over his head but didn't expect it to go anywhere as it relates to a very old (20 years) event. 2 months after that he was arrested and has been out on bail ever since. We are hoping that we can delay things till January as this is also the first year without my father who died 2 weeks after our marriage and our family is still grieving and we do not want to spend our first christmas being without Dad and also being without my love...especially siince its also my birthday and the anniversary of when we met a year ago. I would really like to hear from someone who has been or knows someone in Grafton prison....its also made more difficult because I live in Brisbane so its going to be hard to get to see him as much as I like. Anyone know anything about getting someone moved? We were hoping to exchange diaries but I've been told that this is unlikely (he writes, I write and every visit we swap and write in each others diaries)....anyone any ideas about whether this will be possible? how about phone calls - can he make them every day or are there special days only? Any advice or info gratefully received. I'm so glad to find this site as at the moment we feel very alone.

Hi Becky, and welcome!

Wow - your story is sooo similar to mine! We got together in Dec 05, he told me that there was a possibility he might go inside over something from years ago, he hadn't heard anything for ages & was hoping that no news was good news. No such luck of course, there was a phone call 2 months after we got together & the nightmare began. He was locked up on our anniversary of getting together, 10 months after he was served the papers for his first court appearance.

Sometimes the court dance can go on for years, depending on how complicated it is, & it often appears that the prosecution likes to delay things, for instance not sending briefs or attachments to your solicitor in time etc. Maybe they like to wear you down or send you broke with all the adjournments <shrug>?

Is his sentencing going to be in Grafton?

Once he's inside, there's no telling where they'll send him really, but if he's been living in QLD & has family (you for a start) up there, I suppose it's a likely starting point, with Glen Innes as a possibility for if/when he gets a C2 or C3 minimum security classification.
I don't know how you'll go getting a transfer to QLD... was it a Federal offence or State?

No, in NSW you can't give each other things at visits, even in a min security prison farm like Glen Innes - you have to post letters, you can't even send books without going through a huge process - if you're lucky.

Phone calls can usually be made every day unless there's a lockdown or something, the phones are mucking up or he can't afford it - in Grafton they're probably about $2 plus for 6 minutes (Glen Innes you get 10 mins). He can only put a certain amount of money from his acct into his phone acct per week.

Anyway, glad you found us, & I hope you get to spend Xmas with your love.

Hello to all,thought I should pop on here and do my intro. Well I've only just joined up,as I said in my previous post I wish I had of found this site earlier,would have made life sooooo much easier. Anyway,my partner was originally in the MAP,then went to the MRC,now has been shifted way out to the back blocks of Ararat. Have had a few issues in regards to the justice system,my partner has suffered from clinical depression and anxiety for over 10 yrs and the first thing the prison did was have a doctor assess him and their veridict was,nothing wrong with him,stop all meds!!! I think its just easier for them to deal with someone who has no medical condition. Anyway,I complained,his family complained,and then the next visit that me and the kids went down to at the MAP,they rekon our 13yr old son tested positive in their stupid machine for a really really high level of cocaine. It was soooo awful and the staff were not pleasant and they started interrogating my son about drugs until I told them again that he was only 13 and to lay off. We had to have a box visit. Consequently,I stopped complaining. Then at the MRC,I was hassled about my criminal history (I have nothing,not even a parking ticket)then it came to light that they had all my personal details wrong,and had me listed as someone totally different. Since he's been moved to Ararat,things are a lot better,the staff are easier to deal with and he looks well,just a really long way to go for visits. Anyway,thats my whinge for the day,always feels better to vent!!!

Hi there Lisa,
My hubby was in Ararat for 7 months last year. We got married in there:D
Its a long way away, but as prisons go, its not too bad at all.I used to drive almost 4 hours up there every saturday morning, have our visit, stay up there the sat night in a cheap little motel (that gives discount to visitors of the prison) and then go back first thing in the morning to spend another day with my darling.They have the longest visits there!!..now he has been extradited to QLD where i get to spend 4 hours with him every 3 months:angry: :angry: I wish he was still in Ararat.:( I would never complain about all the driving i used to do either.
Hopefully they will sort your mans meds out up there. I found the opposite, they were giving mine too many medications, but it all got sorted in the end.
Sorry to hear you had such a hard time with your son. They can be so damn stupid sometimes.At least they wont give you much grief getting in to Ararat.
Hope it all works out for you and your partner.:thumbsup:

Hi DingoGirl, thank goodness my guy's out on bail until sentencing. We had a meeting with the solicitor on Friday and he says he expects him to serve 18-24 mths. I had been hoping for 12 but had also had nightmares about 5 years so we've found its actually much better once you have an idea. They have also said they can delay till January so he has Xmas with me and the family (we lost my Dad earlier in the year as I think I said earlier and it would be just to cruel to lose him on what is not only Xmas but my birthday AND the anniversary of when we got together).

I guess you are looking at the calendar and saying "soon this will be the last October 15 that I spend without him"....I know I would be.

We are trying to view this whole mess as an experience that we would rather not have had but if we have to have it then we should try to make the best we can out of it and see if we can't get some positives out of the whole thing. He is going to hopefully get more time to read and perhaps make some new friends...I'm going to get into study and perhaps back into painting/photography.

Thanks for writing back...we are feeling a bit more positive now and this site is going to be invaluable to me when I'm feeling down and need to "vent" a little bit.

Hi to Curaezipirid, Becky2 and LisaJ!!! Welcome to PTO, its great to have you here with us!! :)

Hi everyone. I'm fairly new. Hope to get to know you all better over time.

:)

Hey Greedy Fly!! Welcome to PTO and the OZ/NZ forum!! :)

Thanks Ness! The PM you send to newcomers was really helpful, too, so thanks! The info on this site is phenomenal. Hopefully we can get more on Aussie gaols over time!

Geez jeffreys gal,you are keener than I am. whats the name of the cheapie motel out there? We have just been staying in the caravan park and it gets quite pricey. I tend to only go down every few months because its a long and quite expensive trip and the kids hate the travelling time. When he was in the remand centre and not doing too well we did visit weekly,he's been doing a lot better at Ararat and to be honest he usually needs money so we tend to send that instead.

welcome, you are amongst friends here. I have found so much wonderful support here. Even good to pass on to your man.
sandy

You're welcome Greedy. :)

Hi and Welcome to the PTO family Curaezipirid, Becky2 and LisaJ and GreedyFly. Glad you all found us.

G’day All My name is Steve and I have been writing too four (4) guys for over 12 yrs who are serving time in the U.S prison system. I joined the group to see if there are any Aussie or NZ guys who wanted to be pen pals. Cheers Steve

Hi Stevecub and welcome to PTO and the OZ/NZ forums!! I am also a penpal!! :)

Hi, my husband looks like he's up for sentencing in the new year. At this stage he will be going into Grafton but we live in Ipswich in Queensland. Does anyone know the procedure about getting moved closer to home? Glenn Innes would be better from my perspective. I gather its a real hassle to get moved from one state to another. Any help gratefully received. Thanks Becky

Hi

My names Diane and I have a penpal who I think highly of In Maryborough Correctional centre Queensland.

Im In Melbourne Victoria - really good to meet you all xox

Hi Stormflower and welcome to PTO!! Glad that you found us!! :)

Hi Stormflower - Welcome to the PTO family glad you found us.

Hello Everyone I Registered With This Forum Just A Few Days Ago My Husband Has Been In Jail For Almost 10 Weeks Now. It Really Dont Come Easy For A Family Living With A Loved One Behind Bars. I Would Appreciate Any Information That Can Be Offered And I Look Forward To Being Able To Enter A Chat Room. I Live In Sydney And Hope That I Might Be Able To Make A Few Friends On Here Where I In Turn Can Give Support To People In The Same Situation :)

Hi, Im So Broken!! Welcome to PTO and the Oz/NZ forums!! I hope that you find all the support that you need here.

If you need anything just pm me. :)

Hi guys im new to this so really trying to learn my way in here. My man has been in for just over 6months so hoping there are other ways in here other than just reading posts. My partner is in dhurringile victoria i miss him so much im so glad to of found a website that supports us the ones left behind sometimes you can feel so alone when you dont know anyone else who has a partner that is in or someone to talk to who understands what you are goin through

HI! I am in Sydney too!

Hi belluvzdaz!! Welcome to PTO & the OZ/NZ Forum!! I hope that you find all the support that you need here. I know that I have in many situations.

If you need anything feel free to PM me.

hello fellow sydney sider looking forward to posting thoughts and helping spread the support network that there is for people like us who struggle with telling and understanding what is happening to our lives:)

hello belluvzdaz welcome to the forum like you im new to all of this and hoping that we can all give support and advice to each other nothing better than talking with people who are feeling the same as we do

Hi belluvzdaz & Im so Broken and welcome to the PTO family glad you found us.

Hi Everyone, my husband is in Fulham Vic. He's been there for over 12 months now and was told that he should apply for the Judy Lazarus Centre in Melb. Can anyone tell me more about this place. I know there is a website for them but I was wondering if anybody has any personal experiences with it.
Thank you

Hi Blacknights welcome to the PTO family and glad you found us.

Hey:) I only joined yesterday but have been reading posts on pto for months. My fiance is at maryborough has been for a year but we only have 23 weeks left yayayayayay:) Like everyone else here I have done it hard but honestly can say without this site and the inspirational, brave, optomistic and brutally honest and open ppl who made it happen and all those who have added to it, I would have had it alot worse! At my lowest points I have come here and walked away with renewed strength, determination and hope. I want to say Thank you to all of you for the insightful, open, empathetic, caring support and information. I have learnt from all of your advice and experiences and have been able to use it in our relationship to make it more stronger and deeper than ever and how to help the love of my life to come home and re-adjust and just enjoy living for the first time in his life. I am always amazed by your ability to be happy and helpful to others even tho your in just as much if not more pain as them. I also admire and commend all of you for your strength in the face of extreme adversity. Thank You :)

Hi stevennTamara, Welcome to the pto family glad you found us.
I am glad to hear PTO has helped you, as it has me. not long now 23wks - love to see a countdown.

My son has been in Maryborough since Monday, his third day today. We haven't heard from him with his free call yet and we are all frantic with worry. He was so messed up when he was sentenced that we had him on suicide watch. The girls on the visi booking line have been really sweet and helpful though.

Hi Herbs Mum. Welcome to the group. We are no longer in the system but a little bit of advise for you. Ring!! Keep ringing. Find out if there is a problem with being able to use the phone, ask if his account has been set up yet. They are not normal able to use the phone for the first day or so due to booking in and what not, but I would say by day 3 he should be able to use the phone. Its great that you have that contact with the ladies at visiting.
Even if you ring to ask someone to find out if he is ok. Does he have long to serve? I hope he is taken off Suicide watch real soon.
Hugs
Kells

Herbs Mum, I agree with Kellz. Keep on ringing. Maybe it may have something to do with the fact that he is on suicide watch as to why he has not called.

been reading some of the posts on here today. i am new to all of this, a friend of mine was sent to maryborough on monday. just hope he is doin ok and hope i get to see him soon.

Hi caringfriend and welcome to PTO and the Oz/NZ forums!! Great to have you here!! :)

Welcome to PTO caringfriend! :)

g'day all, my son has been at Tamworth for 9 months and i am slowly learning the do's and don'ts of prison life. I'm really glad i found this site, it's a great sorce of information.

Hi there Treesrblue :) Nice name btw!

Welcome to PTO, and to our little corner of the world.

:)

Hey There, Herbs Mum, CaringFriend and Treesrblue. Welcome to the PTO family - glad you found us.

:) Hello I am new to this although not the prison system been lovin' a lifer for 13 years.... dunno why I didnt google ages ago but here I am now I am wondering if there is any prison in Australia that allows conjugal visits. we are about 30 years behind up here anyway thanks for being there!

Hi there Mala! Welcome to PTO! :)

My understanding is that there are limited facilities in Australia which have conjugal visits. (in Vic and SA).

Have a good day!

Hi Treersblue and Mala!! Welcome to PTO, great to have you here with us!! :)

THANKS for the welcome its good to talk to people whodont judge you !

Hi Mala,
Welcome to the PTO family glad you found us.
It is great to find so many people in a similar situation who you can talk to that understand and dont judge.

hey all,

im going to court on tuesday to be sentenced. my team are looking to get a definite term reduced to some months or something. i accept that the judge has a job to do and that's that.

it was only friday that i found out that sentencing was actually mandatory, so that has made it really hard to inform work, defer uni and tell friends. (had always thought it could be wholy suspended etc)

naturally enough im not looking forward to tuesday at all! i have been reading a lot today on this site and i am hoping theres some way to continue my education and work (it profession). perhaps the possibility of getting my laptop inside?

well wish me all the best, that i can hold my head high, cop my punishment on the chin and that my girl supports me as much as i need.

e e t.

Hi EET,
Best of luck on Tuesday. Unfortunate circustances. Glad you found us and Welcome to the PTO family.

You may not be able to take you laptop with you inside. I do know Hubby can purchase a computer inside but it is expensive and he cannot have internet use.

If your girl needs support please feel free to direct her.

Em77

Hi eet,
You won't be allowed to have your own lap top and the chance of having internet access is unlikely. Here in Victoria some prisons offer opportunities for education but they are very limited. If you successfully apply to do a course you can buy a laptop but they stipulate where from and, of course, they are not cheap. You also need the financial res