I'm about to marry a man who is doing LWOP. I anticipate getting a wedding date any day now. I have no doubts that this is the man I will love for the rest of my life. I made a committment to this relationship long before we spoke of marriage, but sometimes I wonder how will I be able to cope with the realization that he will probably never come home to me? I ususally can think of this in terms of one day at a time, but I'd be lying if I said, I don't wonder about being strong enough to live this life. He is my rock and I am his, we help each other get thru. I'm just wondering how any of you do it? Is it just a matter of one day at a time?

We don't dwell on his sentence, but try to just live in the moment and hold on to hope that they'll see fit to let him out one day, even if he is 90 when they do. Is it as simple as that? I fell in love with my man before he got the courage up to tell me that his life sentence was LWOP and not just 25-life as I thought, because that's what his co-defendants got. By that time he was more to me than his sentence and I determined I would love and be with him no matter what. Until finding PTO I thought I was coping rather well, but sometimes reading about all of the couples who will eventually get to be together is tough and depressing. I'm a loyal person so I know I will do all within my power to live up to my marriage vows, but are there any secrets to coping with the realities of a Life sentence? Anyone else feel similar now or at one time?

Just wondering.

Kudos to jglsqueen for this thread!?! :D

It's hard to explain how frustrating the sentence can be for all of us. I knew going into this that things would be tough. Dealing with it one day at a time is the only way I know how, at times it's one hour at a time. I wish I had a secret to share with you.

"If I can make it through this I can deal with anything."

And it's hard to imagine being without them, never actually having them, like no happy little ending, nothing waiting for you, no light at the end of the tunnel, and you need to understand this from the beginning. I find that without the power of God I would not be able to cope and through his strength I find peace.

I wish you the best of luck jglsqueen with the up coming marriage. I am sure that you will find it gets easier with time. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

I'm glad you all have opted to post in this forum. The post you'd put in Husband/Boyfriend forum has been moved here too.

I think there was some misunderstanding about the previous postings. There was not an intention to discourage the small talk among people in this situation. There was a point made that it wasn't going to be livened up by belabored sex talk. That was the point.

.....carry on.......

I think one thing that really helps to cope is to have VERY good friends, which I think is good advice anyway, since no one person can ever give you all you need -- inside or out.

With friends, you have people around during those important times he can't be there, to share meals, travel to hug and comfort you and do all the things we like to do with others. I don't think I could have started this inside "friendship" with a lifer if I also didn't have a bunch of very close friends outside.

Oh and again, congrats on your engagement!!!!

Thanks for your comments Spyda and Qwerty and thanks to our moderator. It's true and I never really thought about it, having good friends is key. My best friend is my fiance, but I have a friend or two I can count on, but not as many as I use to before beginning my prison odessy. I don't blame them, people change, cirumstances change. We no longer have the same things in common. I am very grateful to have PTO to come to for support.