This is my story I am dating a man who is 26 years old I have been dating him for 2 years now, he was senetenced to prison last monthbut not for drugsjust something stupid he did while on drugs he is in for reciving stolen good. Anyway he can't seem to stay away from pain pills. He has been doing them on and off for over 7 years. For the first 9 months of us dating he didn't do pills but he was doing pot, then he got into pills again and he really hasn't stopped since then. He told me he was clean and all but he wasn't he later admitted it when I found pill bottles all in a drawer that were from differnet doctors and differnet pharmices with just a few days apart. this was Dec of 2003 he started going to Metadone clinic which his mom paid for along with his bills for the place he was living. He was doing good I guess he only went for a few weeks then went to court for the charges of "reciving" from last year and was put in jail. SO no more treatment or counsling. He now tells me once again he is going to be straight no more drugs he don't want to lose me, which is the same line as before. I need to know how to help him to stick with it I know it
is only up to him but I want him to have conquence to his actions of drugs. I am not sending money to prison for him or visting him I send paper and stamps for him to write me and his mom. So any advise on how to make him see how much he losing doing drug? Sorry this so long I just needed someone to help me. I am looking into getting counlsing myself for loved ones of a drug user. I do anything to help him get over this. His mom only thinks he has a chemical imbalance and says if she finds out it is just he is a user then she will be done with him. She also only gives him the same " I think you will always be this way i have heard all your promises before" I try to support him but also let him know that it will take time to see if he will stick to his word this time. Please any advise I will be thankful for! thanks

It is very difficult to live with a drug abuser. They won't change until they believe they have a problem and absolutely want to change. Addicts must face the consequences of their actions. If they always have someone there to rescue them and to pick up the pieces then they have no motivation to change. I would definitely encourage you to get counseling for yourself. It sounds as if you've had a rough time. But he has to help himself! You can't change him. Addiction is a terrible thing but it is possible to live a drug-free life. I speak from experience when I say that it took me losing everything, my loved ones, my possesions, and I had to go to prison before I realized that I had to take responsibility for my actions and change my life. No one could have done it for me. Take care of yourself first! I wish you all the best!

It is very difficult to live with a drug abuser. They won't change until they believe they have a problem and absolutely want to change. Addicts must face the consequences of their actions. If they always have someone there to rescue them and to pick up the pieces then they have no motivation to change. I would definitely encourage you to get counseling for yourself. It sounds as if you've had a rough time. But he has to help himself! You can't change him. Addiction is a terrible thing but it is possible to live a drug-free life. I speak from experience when I say that it took me losing everything, my loved ones, my possesions, and I had to go to prison before I realized that I had to take responsibility for my actions and change my life. No one could have done it for me. Take care of yourself first! I wish you all the best!
Thanks so much I am trying not to take care of anything for him but I want him to have somone to talk to. I pray I am doing the right thing. Any suggestions on what kind of counlseling I should get? I do thank you for the advise. :)

Yes, he has to want to in order to stay clean.
There are many alanon groups out there for you as well. if you have any kind of center there, call them and they can lead you into the right direction.

God Bless and Good luck

Bascially the first thing is that HE needs to realize that no matter what kind of drugs he is taking, he is a drug addict. 2nd, there is no magic cure and it won't just go away or stop. He needs to also realize that the drug itself isn't the problem, it's the reason he keeps going back to taking pills, that IS the problem. Short term programs won't help him realize that. The best love that anyone can give him is tough love until he agrees to get the proper help, which is a theraputic community. That type of program can be anywhere from a year to 36 months. They will help him how to deal with the problems and also to be able to re-adjust to the outside world again. ie: daytop, pheonix house, etc. Hope this helps in some way! God bless!

Bascially the first thing is that HE needs to realize that no matter what kind of drugs he is taking, he is a drug addict. 2nd, there is no magic cure and it won't just go away or stop. He needs to also realize that the drug itself isn't the problem, it's the reason he keeps going back to taking pills, that IS the problem. Short term programs won't help him realize that. The best love that anyone can give him is tough love until he agrees to get the proper help, which is a theraputic community. That type of program can be anywhere from a year to 36 months. They will help him how to deal with the problems and also to be able to re-adjust to the outside world again. ie: daytop, pheonix house, etc. Hope this helps in some way! God bless!
Thanks for the help where can I find out more on the theraputic community? He does admit he has a problem he done that before he went to prison I guess it was almost 3 months ago. Now I am trying to get him to figure out why he does the pills. He is thinking about that right now he says in his mind he always thought he could control it and just use them to give him some help on having me engery. I told him that there had to be more to it than that so he is thinking on it. I am thankful for your help thanks

Well i would search the net for Daytop and Pheonix House, or even just do a search for drug rehabilitation. See what you could find out that way. Actually I might have the number for Daytop, let me check......... no he doesn't. I will say this though, a lot of the places are 28 day programs and being that he has taken pills for so long, i dont think that would help him. That's just from experiance, but everyone is different. Also, he could talk to the priest at the prison he is at or you could even call and they would be more than happy to direct you to a community that you could talk to to get more information. Well I hope that helps some. If you need anything else just let me know :) God Bless!

Speaking from recent experience regarding my husband...he has been incarcerated for fourteen months and will be home in nineteen days...he also had a painpill addiction...the painpill he was addicted to can take up to four-months to leave your system...Even though incarceration caused his sobriety, it has cleared his mind, body and soul of the effects of those evil pills...We have a long history and a child together and I love him...very much...but his ability to remain clean and sober relies on his willingness to do the work associated with sobriety is on his shoulders...I am his wife and I can only support and love him...Hard work on both our parts will bind our marriage and secure our future as a family...Same with your man, if he is willing and you have love and patience, it is possible..Good luck to the both of you..

Speaking from recent experience regarding my husband...he has been incarcerated for fourteen months and will be home in nineteen days...he also had a painpill addiction...the painpill he was addicted to can take up to four-months to leave your system...Even though incarceration caused his sobriety, it has cleared his mind, body and soul of the effects of those evil pills...We have a long history and a child together and I love him...very much...but his ability to remain clean and sober relies on his willingness to do the work associated with sobriety is on his shoulders...I am his wife and I can only support and love him...Hard work on both our parts will bind our marriage and secure our future as a family...Same with your man, if he is willing and you have love and patience, it is possible..Good luck to the both of you..
Thanks... I hope he is willing and I do love him but parience is something I have to work on it is one of my weakness, sometimes I wonder if him being in prison is God's way of helping me learn patiences. I am checking into counsling for myself. I found one today it will be a couple of weeks before I can get the money but I am going. And the guy said they help me with loving a addict and having a man in prison, dealing with him getting out and all. And of course they will counsle him as well when he gets out. I hope maybe my man can get his mom to go to some of these. I know if me and her are behind him and understand more of this it will mean a lot to him. So thanks again to all of you I am glad I found this place with such support......Thanks again :fb:

I love my Mike and miss him