View Full Version : Is It As Bad As It Sounds? Getting Married To The Love Of Your Life In Jail
02-16-2004, 09:13 PM
jeff and i have been talking about the whole marriage thing. and i cant wait for the day that i finally marry him. i have been waiting for this since i was 14 years old! i just had it planned out in my head very different. anyway, ive already been married and had the big beautiful wedding and to me it really meant nothing because i was not marrying the man that i loved more than anything. so im not really upset about how we have to get married, im just curious how it works, what it is like? basically what i want to know is how is it to get married in jail? and how are the trailor visits? i dont know anything about this so any feedback would be so good. im looking to find out like how do you get married, where and what is it like. do you have to leave right after? is it as bad as it sounds? jeff tells me its like getting married in jail. great answer if i ever got married in jail before i would know but i havnt! atleast not yet!!!!
i was a "bridesmaid" at a prison wedding. inmates were best men. for the bride-to-be- me, my mom, the bride's daughter, and the bride's daughter's b/f were there. the visit goes like usual....u then go into another room and they stand u up there with a priest. u recite ur vows etc....it is a quick ceremony. then u go back to visiting. wende was where i was at for the prison wedding i attended. it is in NY and u should know where that is--u too r a fellow NYer. :) a photographer took pics, snapped a bunch during the ceremony and then took ones with the family etc..after. u get a certain limit and then after that u have to pay for each pic like usual.
i am not sure about trailers..i just know how the wedding was because i was able to see it 1st hand. good luck to u!!!! let us know how it all turns out-----hey! the love is all that matters! :D
02-16-2004, 11:10 PM
jeff and i have been talking about the whole marriage thing. and i cant wait for the day that i finally marry him. i have been waiting for this since i was 14 years old! i just had it planned out in my head very different. anyway, ive already been married and had the big beautiful wedding and to me it really meant nothing because i was not marrying the man that i loved more than anything. so im not really upset about how we have to get married, im just curious how it works, what it is like? basically what i want to know is how is it to get married in jail? and how are the trailor visits? i dont know anything about this so any feedback would be so good. im looking to find out like how do you get married, where and what is it like. do you have to leave right after? is it as bad as it sounds? jeff tells me its like getting married in jail. great answer if i ever got married in jail before i would know but i havnt! atleast not yet!!!!Me and my baby got married in jail, it was not at all what i often dreamed of but i was marrying my soul mate and i would do it all over again if i gad to. If you haven't done it yet he would have to apply throught the facility, they will get in touch with you to complete the process. GD Luck.
There is a good chance that this will be moved to the wedding forum, but here is the link on New York inmate marriage
02-17-2004, 10:00 AM
I never had the dreams of a big fancy wedding like my friends did. I was engaged before when I was 16 years old. I thought at the time Chris was who I was gonna spend my life with. But nothing ever clicked for us, just like nothing ever clicked for me and any man after him until James came along. And now all I want to do is marry him. And it makes no difference to me if it's done in a prison setting, a church, or at the court house. It's the vows spoken the promises made that matter not how or where it's done. I know I want to marry James and spend the rest of my life loving him and being loved back. And I can't wait for us to set a new date. Spikeswife
02-17-2004, 10:05 AM
Well me, I don't think I could get married in a prison, because I want a big wedding and a big reception, and you can't have that in a prison, so when I get married, I will wait until my man gets out.
02-17-2004, 10:43 AM
I'd rather marry him in there than anyone else in St patrick's Cathedral, that's all I know.
02-17-2004, 11:52 AM
i got married to my husband while he was sitting in the county jail- i was excited that we did it and i wouldn't change it for anything. I probably can't help in you with any questions u might have because it wasn't a prison wedding and they are different on what we did! good luck!
02-17-2004, 12:49 PM
Jason has mentioned several times about getting married in prison. He wants me divorced right now. I am waiting. When he gets out, he can have any kind of wedding he wants(I had my big thing), he hasn't ever been married so he can have whatever he's thought about. I know he would be like that, planning our wedding.
I just have to have everyone there. All of our friends and family, dogs and cats!
I wouldn't think anything of going in there and doing it for legal purposes. I would go in there tomorrow. I know what kind of person he is in his heart and I know he would be so happy with a wedding with everyone there. We could do both of them.
Damn! Does it sound like I might want to marry this guy:)?
02-17-2004, 01:57 PM
jeff and i have been talking about the whole marriage thing. and i cant wait for the day that i finally marry him. i have been waiting for this since i was 14 years old! i just had it planned out in my head very different. anyway, ive already been married and had the big beautiful wedding and to me it really meant nothing because i was not marrying the man that i loved more than anything. so im not really upset about how we have to get married, im just curious how it works, what it is like? basically what i want to know is how is it to get married in jail? and how are the trailor visits? i dont know anything about this so any feedback would be so good. im looking to find out like how do you get married, where and what is it like. do you have to leave right after? is it as bad as it sounds? jeff tells me its like getting married in jail. great answer if i ever got married in jail before i would know but i havnt! atleast not yet!!!!its not bad to get married to the love of your life in prison i've waited almost 2 years for my baby . its cool i think so as long as you have been faithful to him all the time he was in there like i was to mine or longer.
02-17-2004, 02:05 PM
I don't see what the "BIG deal" is its about starting a new life w/the "love of your life" now HOW you go about it but that's just me,I can't wait till its MY turn:yes: it will be "sif" but you CAN make it as normal as possible!Just need to get creative!
02-17-2004, 02:06 PM
please excuse all my booboo's clearly i can't type:(
02-17-2004, 05:53 PM
I got married in the prison and i wouldn't change it for the world. He's and awesome man. We've been together since the first year he went in and have been married almost 2 years .It's almost the same here in michigan as it is in NY. We were allowed 5 people in to see , we had to be there and hour in a half before the visiting room opened for visits, he got to wear a suit and i got to wear a wedding dress, we got picutres, it was the best day of my life. He looked deep in my eyes when he said his vow's ,as i did when saying mine, It was very heartfelt momment. Everyone had tears in their eyes which got my hubby and i all teary eyed. When he comes home we are renewing our vows to have a wedding that we want. This is both his and my first wedding....and last . :) till death do us part!!!!!
02-17-2004, 06:06 PM
When I got married .. I was 2 weeks past my 19th birthday... and it was in the Korean Embassy in South Korea.. My boyfriend/husband was military.. I was married in jeans and a sweater. I've always been the unconventional one in my family.. so for some reason I don' t think me getting married in prison would surprise them that much.. Think of it as something not everyone gets to do.. its something different...
oh .. by the way.. I'd LOVE to get married by Elvis on a beach... never been the one for the white dress...
Most of us vision what our wedding day will be like. This is clearly not the dream that we have when we are young girls, but like others have said it's about the person you are about to marry and not what the wedding looks like.
02-17-2004, 08:45 PM
I Was Married Once And I Married Him While He Was In Prison (my Ex). Basically We Said Our Vows And Everything By A County Official Where The Prison Is Located. I Wore A White Pant Suit, He Wore His Inmate Clothes. His Cell Mate Was The Best Man, His Mother Witnessed The Whole Thing. That Marriage Lasted Only 3 Mos. If I Could Do It Over I Woulda Waited. To Some People It Doesnt Matter, And It Reallt Shouldnt, But When I Do It Again, Id Like My Family To Be There, Id Like To Do All The Things A Woman Dreams Of...id Like T Make Love To My New Husband Later On That Night, Instead Of Going Home To My Same Empty Bed. My New Baby (jason) Told Me He Wants To Marry Me, But He Said He Wants To Wait Till He Comes Home And Doesnt Feel So Helpless. I Really Appreciate That Because It Shows Me That He Wants The Best For Us. Its Really Up To You How You Do It, But Marriage Is A Big Step And Id Just Think Everything Out At Every Angle Before I Made A Move. Good Luck.
02-17-2004, 10:38 PM
thank you ladies for all of your info. i just want to add that im sure that i want to marry jeff. i have always known that he was the one. i just wanted to know what it was like the wedding itself, like where and how long just info like that. i was just curious how its gonna be. i would marry jeff in the staten island dumps if i had to. i love him! i just wanted to know what it was like. thank you ladies!
02-18-2004, 08:58 PM
Jeffsprincess....... Im in the process of marrying my baby right now. Im also in NY. What we had to do.... both of us wrote the superintendant. If the permission to get married is granted his counselor will meet with him to find out more info. The counselor then sent me some paperwork to fill out. Then once she reviewed the paperwork she contacted me to have an interview with her. The interview consisted of her going over his rap shit with me, so you are aware of what they are incarcerated for. Then after the meeting with the counselor the duputy town clerk contacted me and set up an interview during a regular scheduled visiting day. We signed the paperwork there and set our date. Im nervous about the whole thing just because im wondering if we should wait. But ive been with my guy for 2 yrs before he went in and love him with all my heart and want to be with him more than anything. Of course ive had big dreams of the nice beautiful wedding but he has promised me that when he is released. It is a big decision but to me I want to be his wife more than anything. Yes it will be hard to come home and not be able to be with my new husband, but its the thought fo us making that huge commitment to one another. Good luck......
02-18-2004, 09:36 PM
oh sweet pea i am so happy for you!!!! congratulations! im feeling that when they come home wedding too! but i had the big wedding already and that ended up in divorce LOL! anyway, when jeff comes home i want to remarry him on the beach with no shoes on and just like a sundress or something. thats my new dream wedding! good luck on your upcoming wedding!
02-18-2004, 10:03 PM
Thanks for the congrats... Just go with your heart, if you want the marriage now, go for it...... you can have your romantic wedding when he gets out.
02-18-2004, 10:34 PM
SWEET PEA IM DEFINETLLY GOING FOR IT, I JUST NEED TO WAIT TO BE DIVORCED FIRST!!! LOL!!!!!!
02-19-2004, 02:59 PM
Jeff'sPrincess -- you have to get divorced first? Let me find out you runnin wit J.Lo! (smile) Actually, it's ONLY a bad thing when, after meeting someone in there and you marry, he get released but you don't see him til a week later, or, after his release he show out sumthin terrible ultimately up 'n leaving you. That's a bad thing b/c that's a trainwreck you never saw coming. I was just telling my husband last night that for any fella locked down who meet a girl then they marry (cause marriage seems to be a part of the incarceration ritual) and then after release he represent on his word -- I got madd love and respect for that man, and I'm thrilled to death that the woman was blessed that her husband turnt out to not be a crock of shit.
02-19-2004, 03:18 PM
me and my husband got married right before he went in. We just got marrried at the court house. I want to have a bigger wedding on one of our anniverserys. He's not feeling that one yet. But he will:yes:
02-19-2004, 03:50 PM
I got married to my Hubbie in county jail and there was no witness but the guards because they did not allow visitor's. I was still giddy as a school girl and I'll do it again again and again. I dressed in a long silk power blue gown with silver slippers, had my hair done up and nails too. We could'nt even take a picture. But it's ok because I took some at home and outside. He'll have memories of the blushing bride to carry him during this difficult time. LOve that man. Who cares about where? :confused: All I see in these baby hazel eyes is the Hubbie! :D
02-19-2004, 03:53 PM
When I married my baby, It was at county. When I was waiting outside I had butterflys in my stomach. He He.. It was one of the happiest, most memorable days of my life..The enviorment and having to marry him behind glass wasn't my dream wedding, but none of that mattered because I was marrying the person who I loved with all my heart and soul. I was so happy, I wouldn't change a thing :) ... A kiss between the bars would have been nice though!! :p
02-23-2004, 08:11 PM
I plan on getting married next month by proxy which just means I have to go to the courthouse and my sister is gonna stand in for him. I wear both of our rings until he comes home to be able to wear it himself. We live in Tx. and they wouldn't allow us to get married at the prison (which I wish they would have). It doesn't really matter to me where we get married just as long as it's to him. When he comes home we will have an actual wedding.
02-23-2004, 08:27 PM
I married my guy after knowing him for a lil over a year. things went smmoth fro us. My father in law married us, my mother in law was a witness, my sister in law sang a song, Tow female guards were in attendance for what reason we still don't know but they were cool. we got to say our own vows along with the tradinal ones, I wore all white african attire, he had no best man I had no friends or famiy in attendance. We spent time together but his family was there too. We got no free time to ourselfs. We were both scared and in shock for about 3 months afterwards. The worse thing then and now is the seperation! Yes I dealt with it before but it seemed to highten after we wer married. I want my Husband so bad until at times all the want and need in us causes problems for us. If you can tolerate the sepration then go for it.