View Full Version : Does your husband/boyfriend always think you found someone else?

02-28-2010, 04:54 PM
My husband calls me collect to ask what im doing? Where did i go? & always says he is stressing about me having a affair. I am a dedicated wife i wish he would believe me its driving me nuts lol!!!

02-28-2010, 05:12 PM
I hear about this kind of thing from SO many of the ladies here!
I would be so, so offended if my husband started in with that kind of thing. As I've said so often, monogamy is not really on my priority list but keeping my word IS and if he started doubting me, I'd be pretty well furious about it.

02-28-2010, 05:14 PM
Oh yesssss! I get this alot! Just the other day, he told me that he's been having dreams about me messing around on he asked if his dreams were hints and do I have something to tell him!:argh: I get very annoyed by this because I'm not out here doing anything to jeopardize our marriage! He already knows that cheating isn't in my character and that I don't just go around sleeping with every Tom, Dick and I know that he is just paranoid due to his past experiences with past girlfriends, who cheated on him and left him while he was doing time in Y.A.

02-28-2010, 05:37 PM
My man doesn't come at me like that... We are very open with each other and he knows that I'm not going anywhere (but then again this isn't our first go around either). There have been occasions where he has expressed the fear that he might lose me, but he's never taken it as far as accusing me of anything.

02-28-2010, 07:00 PM
My situation is my bf doesn't accuse me of anything but he seems to live in constant fear that I will find somebody else.

02-28-2010, 07:07 PM
There are several different theories regarding this;
You have cheated before and partner is not trusting,
Partner is insecure,
Partner is transferring actions: the partner doing the accusing is really in fear of themselves doing what they accuse you of.

02-28-2010, 08:18 PM
You know i think u r right. Before we got married i had heard some stuffabout him and of course he denied it. Its just so i told him that shit on the phone the other night. Im hurting just as bad as him but what can i do he put himself in jail not me. I guess he has no faith in me

02-28-2010, 08:25 PM
My boyfriend doesn't always think I'm cheating but he does always worry that I'll fall out of love with him and leave him. And that I'll get tired of waiting..which WILL NOT happen. I love this man and I'm in this for good. I think it's only normal though for them to feel like that..they have absolutely no control over anything. I would probably feel the same way if I was in his shoes.

02-28-2010, 08:40 PM
My lovey knows that I am not going to cheat on him and that I am in this for the long haul. When he first went in, he wasn't so sure about all this, but after seein how I really feel about him, and the fact that I am still here, he knows that what he has with me is real. I know he was just insecure before since he had been with his baby mamma when he went in his first time and she left him after a few weeks and cheated the little bit of time she was still with him. I have proven over and over again, that I am not her and that I am so much better than her and he finally sees that and knows that he is gonna be fine while he is away. I only have eyes for him. ;)

rockys lil girl
02-28-2010, 08:47 PM
no he never asks me any of that stuff. He trusts me completely. Thank god cause i dont know what I would do with him accusing me of those kind of things lol

02-28-2010, 09:22 PM
My love bear doesn't acuse me, and he does trust me, and infact sometimes he feels a lil insecure and he expresses that and we talk bout it! And he then says at different times "when i think rationaly bout this all i know your not going to do anything or leave me cuz if that's what you wanted to do then you wouldn't have chose to be with me in the frst place" see i chose to be with my lover bear, even before we knew what time he was facing, and i didn't have to --- it's that i am so deeply in love with him! It's that i care so much bout him, it's that he's my soulmate and he know's how i feel --- I've been here almost a yr now which is longer then his xgf stayed with him in a bid he did before --- and many years ago stood by him as a great friend when we were younger when he did 20months.
He also know's i will not cheat on him cuz thats not me! Like i said he does feel insecure that someone will steal me away from him, or steal my heart away, but he expresses it thru explination on that fear, not acusing me of anything!

02-28-2010, 09:26 PM
No. He trusts me. My heart is his and he knows it.

02-28-2010, 09:35 PM
He does feel like that most of the time... All I can do is tell him that my actions speak louder than words so the fact that I'm still here for him should let him know what I feel...

02-28-2010, 11:16 PM
I dont know if you've just started your bid or not... but really, this "trust" issue needs to be resolved ASAP. If he continues this way, doubting you all the time, its only going to drive you away.

I admit my bf was a little insecure at the beginning and would question whether I was going to stick it out with him, but he NEVER went so far as to actually accuse me of cheating. There's a difference between mild insecurity and bold hurtful accusations.

02-28-2010, 11:24 PM
funny thing today at visit we spoke about this and he told me this "all i can do in here is trust you until proven guilty" i love that about him and I WONT CHEAT ON HIM i know what i want and i wont be going through this to cheat and loose his trust not worth it!

i came out of a relationship that all he did was accuse me and i didnt cheat on him so having someone now that trust me is awesome and i wont take that for granted..

03-01-2010, 02:46 AM
My husband calls me collect to ask what im doing? Where did i go? & always says he is stressing about me having a affair. I am a dedicated wife i wish he would believe me its driving me nuts lol!!!

lol mine use to do the same thing

03-01-2010, 10:33 AM
No, we don't even talk about it. He says he knows no one is going to be able to take me away from him and it's "til death do us part" no matter what. As long as I'm there when he walks out those gates, he has nothing to worry about.

03-01-2010, 12:56 PM
My old man constantly writes me, asking me questions, who I'm with, and what I'm doing. He also writes "they" better know that when he comes home "they" better watch out. Damn, it's driving me crazy. This isn't our first time doing this, he's been locked up twice before, and I already told him, I will do whatever I want to while he is incarcerated. Then he comes out me with, how I better not fall in love with anybody else.

03-01-2010, 11:26 PM
My situation is my bf doesn't accuse me of anything but he seems to live in constant fear that I will find somebody else.
hey may i ask where in ga you are im in ga to

03-02-2010, 08:47 AM
My guy is very insecure. He is always worried about someone coming along and taking me away from him or me being with someone else or since I'm going on this trip to the Dominican Republic in June he's worried about me falling in love with someone while I'm there... OMG.... sometimes it's to the point his crazy thoughts are rediculous. And some days he says "You're mine and no one can take you away from me" (a little possessive but I know he loves me). On the days he is a little insecure I have to reassure him that "I ain't goin' no where" and "No one is going to take me away from you... I'm committed to only you"

03-02-2010, 08:58 AM
I think i'm more worried he will find someone else. He knows that I am capable of finding someone else, but he also knows that I am deeply in love with him and that I am not interested in anyone else. He gets a little worried if I'm out "partying" and I don't answer the phone, but thats pretty much as far as it goes. Once in a while we might talk about an ex but nothing serious.

03-02-2010, 12:47 PM
Yes, my boyfriend does the same thing!! Sometimes he makes me want to rip my hair out! I told him the other day that I went out with a whole group of people from work and he flipped out and was asking if any guys went...
I try to tell him that I'm faithful and I'm not screwing him over, but he is going to believe what he wants...
Our guys are more insecure and jealous now because they cannot be out here to protect us!

03-02-2010, 01:13 PM
if I go out he gets antsy about it. wants to always be there with me and is afraid some rich business man in his 2010 Jag will drive up and steal me away and offer to fly me the the bahamas ro something. :D

Brittney Nathan
03-02-2010, 01:32 PM
My husband was stressing over it, but he knows better and is teaching himself patience. I love him so much, and it feels good to know he trusts me!

03-02-2010, 09:13 PM
My husband calls me collect to ask what im doing? Where did i go? & always says he is stressing about me having a affair. I am a dedicated wife i wish he would believe me its driving me nuts lol!!!
omigod i know how you feel my husband has gone overboard at times too! He always wants me to write to him to tell him why i love him,whats so great about him , why would i never leave him. At first i humored him and wrote him tons of things all the time but as time went on it was just like ok you either need to find the inner peace with yourself or shutup!! I love him with all my heart but yeah they get annoying!!!:D

03-04-2010, 12:52 AM
oh yeah, Preston as written that in 2 letters now, he thinks i have already found someone and that im not telling him and I havent:/ and he is worried and maybe jealous about it but I told him to relax or try to :D

03-04-2010, 01:16 AM
J would never accuse me of anything, but he always asks me if I'm "being good." He is so used to being thrown away by people he thought cared about him that he's still adjusting to having someone real in his life. I know he's scared of the past being repeated, but he has given me his full trust and he realizes I'm different. If he did come at me with accusations, I'd be insulted, then begin to question him.

03-04-2010, 08:39 AM
Omg yes he always brings that up he pisses me off when he doubts me!! just last week i had went out 2 eat with my friends and then went to the mall well wen i was driving i had the phone in my pocket and his calls would not go through and he thought i was with some one else i had to send him the ticket where i had paid at the restaurant so he can see the time on it.... im trying my best to hold it down but he doubts me it gets me so mad to constently have to prove my self that i think i might as well cheat im already getting acussed for it!!

03-04-2010, 08:43 AM
No way my old man knows that he's the only man for me, he trust me 100%..

04-08-2010, 03:57 PM
Nope. Doesn't even cross his mind. He knows I am dedicated n committed to us 100. Sure in the beginning he had some negative thoughts pass thro his head. The common woman just might not stand by their man thro the years. Clearly us women that do are far from common :)

04-08-2010, 04:10 PM
At the beginning he did it alot, until i finally told him if you wannabe with me you are going to have to trust me, this is yor second bid and im still here,honestly you think i have someone else.
Now of course he has doubts but to me thats normal, hes human, but he does say he has faith i wont find anyone else.
and i have always told him if i feel i cant wait i will be there in person to tell you, not hide it.

04-08-2010, 06:45 PM
he never accuses me of having sex with other men,but he does struggle with feelings of,that he's not good enough for me and that i could do better.I was raised upper class country,he in inner city dc and he struggles with that sometimes.It's my pleasure to reassure him and tell him to quit being ridiculous!!:kiss::heart:

04-08-2010, 08:07 PM
My baby trusts me 100% and knows that I won't cheat on him. I love him to death and I'm very open about everything. I only want to be with him and he knows it. Couldn't imagine even being with anyone else.

04-08-2010, 08:12 PM
My husband has never doubted me, accused me, or questioned me about having an affair or leaving him. He trusts me and he knows that I love him and only want to be with him. :)

04-10-2010, 01:08 PM
my baby has been hurt extremely bad and when things get bad, everyone has taken off on him. I have been the only one that has stuck around and we have been thru so much together. if I don't pick up the phone right away, he'll call back and he always ask, "where were you" or "what were you doing"? But I think that he is starting to realize that he can trust me. All around him, he hears about all these woman that are cheating etc. and i think that sometimes he may wonder if he's next sorta thing. All I can do is be patient w/ him and just reassure him that I'm not going anywhere and I love him. he is so extremely hard on himself and wonders sometimes why I'm w/ him and all i can do is just reassure him.

04-10-2010, 01:27 PM
Yes my god my fiance knows I love him to death but cuz of horrible woman in his past they made it hard on me. I have never cheated on a b/f of my exhusband so why because my mans in prison would I start wit the only man I have ever truly been inlove wit. Its his insecuritis and I'm always reasuring him I'm not going anywhere and I'm not just gonna fall out of love wit him over night.he got nothing to worry about.

04-10-2010, 03:25 PM
My husband calls me collect to ask what im doing? Where did i go? & always says he is stressing about me having a affair. I am a dedicated wife i wish he would believe me its driving me nuts lol!!!

my husband is on this kick of saving money blah blah blah but then hes on some other crap... calling me at least 6 times a day! and if i dont answer ( i work overnights, and sleep during the day ) HE calls me back at least twice in a row...lool and now my friend is talking to his boy, so when they get on the phone nad he wants to talk to me, he gets her too call and wake me up lol.. he doesnt exactly accuse me,. but drops hints that i am going to find someone else ...pssssssh , i wudnt have married him if i wanted to b with someone else.. geeez lol