02-12-2004, 08:36 PM
I need some advice. My boyfriend has 2 kids with some other girl. When he broke up with her, he was already in prison. So know she's saying that unless he goes back to her house, he aint gonna see the kids or get his property back. I'm realy trying to be cool about it cause it ain't his fault and i'm even going to move him into my dorm room when he comes out. But I'm still a little confused. And he's going through alot now. His mom is in a coma and now this. How can I help him get through this difficult time?
Diana Loves TEUDI
02-13-2004, 12:13 AM
I know exactly where your coming from because I'm going through a similar situation with my man. He also has 2 kids by another girl and she is straight ghetto. She is hating my guts right now and said she would like to put me in a hospital! But my man is very firm with her and I told him that right now there is nothing that can be done cuz he is in a predicament. She is low and says similar things too like him not seeing the kids and the like. Just keep reassuring your man that its going to work out and to not let the babys mother get to him while he is in. And when he gets out to do what he has to do to be with his kids.
But there really isn't that much that can be done right now, but to ignore baby momma and stay strong. Is he able to see or talk to his kids? My man speaks to his kids almost everyday and they send him letters, they are 7 and 2 yrs. I"m in New york, and my man, and the kids are in maryland.
Just make sure that he makes every effort the can to remain present in his kids lives.
God is with us through this tough journey:)
02-13-2004, 02:16 PM
Get used to these females -- they're acting out b/c you ladies have something they still want. I have an ex-husband whom we had two kids with (they're grown) and I have posed absolutely no problems to the women in his life after me and the reason for that is b/c when I left the kids father, I didn't want their father anymore -- period. Accordingly, that's how I've acted since leaving him -- like I have no interest in him whatsoever. I will say this though -- I do see my children's father somewhat often plus we do communicate on the phone and when he calls or visits he often makes suggestive remarks plus tries to steal a feel. If I were still interested in him, we'd be having sex all the time b/c I'm the one who refuses the advances he always makes. Of course, though, he doesn't share that with his wife or the women he's had before remarrying. If they accuse him, however, he does tell the truth -- he tells them "she's not interested in me, she has absolutely no interest in me at all," which is the truth. Anthonyismine, it strikes me kind of weird that he's calling his ex's home almost daily to speak with the kids. Collect calls from prison are no joke on the bill -- I really don't even want to accept them from my husband and I love him to death for a call once a week plus letters at $.37 a pop would be fine with me, and your man runs up his ex's bill each month and the ex isn't complaining? Teu, they broke up while he was in prison. Do you know why? Is it possible she couldn't afford to do the bid with him? B/c sometimes in these instances the girl will step off, the fella will get another girl to do the time with him, and when it's near time for him to come home that "unfinished business" picks up; sometimes, when the guy gets out -- he flat out goes back to the other woman. There's a lot of crap in this prison game. I been in it almost 8 years and have seen some crazy stuff. Why do you think a lot of women are adamant about picking their guy up from prison? B/c sometimes, a guy will play games and reach "home" a few days after release. I have seen guys do a bid with a girl, then when it's time to come home -- she never hears from him or never sees him. I even told my husband when he got on state ground "see ya the first day of your last month in (in 2008)" knowing somewhere along the line he'd take up with someone to do and afford that time with him. However, b/c he absolutely refuses to take up with someone else, he wouldn't go for it, so, I'm the one doing the bid with him. He only wants his wife. At least while he's locked up. When these guys come home -- too many times -- they turn into something completely opposite of what they were when they were inside. Ladies, just know there are 2 sides to a story, and while I feel you should ignore the crap that comes outta these babymommaz mouth, I think you should also keep your ears open to listen to everything they have to say b/c they knew that man first, they've had kids with him -- they know things that you -- the core of these men's hearts -- do not know. I'm not saying the men are liars, but I am saying that men DO lie, so just take everything in that transpires.
02-13-2004, 11:30 PM
Just wanted to clarify that he doesn't collect call anyone because he uses money out of his account. So the person he is calling doesn't get charged a cent, which is way cheaper. Thank God:) I gues
02-13-2004, 11:40 PM
Bospiece, I completely understand where you are coming from. I am well aware of what could happen. Sometimes, its like gambling though, you dont really know if your gonna win, but you take the chance anyway. But I am not naive at all, but I love my man and he is more a friend first than my partner. So no matter what happens he will still have a friend. And if the tables were turned I know that I would have a friend to count on also. NOthing in life is guaranteed, I live by that motto, we all take chances, but if it comes out good we're lucky. I just live day by day and accomplish all my goals and I still live my life. Having him, just adds on to my already fulfilled life.
But thanks for looking out:)
02-13-2004, 11:44 PM
OHH PRAY FOR US, HE SHOULD BE MAKING A PLEA SOON AND WHEN HE GETS OUT WE HAVE PLANS OF RESUMING OUR WEDDING PLANS. WE TALKED ABOUT GETTING MARRIED BEFORE HE WAS ARRESTED. ONLY A WEEK BEFORE :argh , BUT WE STILL WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED WHEN HE IS OUT.
GOD IS WITH US THROUGH THIS TOUGH JOURNEY:)