i have never posted here before but i have a question anyone that can offer advice it would be greatly appreciated! when my husband was younger he had a horrible childhood he sold drugs for awhie then he started doing them well last year he started back on them i knew but he kept lieing and saying he was not doing them he finally confessed when he went back to jail well my thing is i want him to open up and talk to me about it but he just keeps saying he will talk about it when he gets home i would like him to get it over with now so we do not have to deal with it when he gets home so i am wondering how should i approach him about it again he gets kinda defensive not mad cause he knows he messed up but i just need to know why he did it again and if he feels he will slip at all and do it again any advice would be great thanks ahead of time...melony

What kind of drugs as to selling & using?

my opinion would be to let him bring it up. you do not want to push him away. i have been in recovery for 8 years and did not want to talk about it at first but i came around when i was ready. give him some time. also rember he may not know why he did it. i recomend you try to read the big book of aa or try alanon. if you want more info pm me.

wonderful advice. he needs to be willing to talk first. you dont want him to feel that he has to talk, he has to make the first step.

I agree with that advice also but you can get yourself educated on all of it in the meantime though not discuss it with him. If you plan to stick with him then you need to understand the disease of addiction and how not to be an enabler and a healthy support system instead. He is probably dealing with denial or disappointment in himself at the moment which is to be expected anyway and when he does manage to deal with that (you can't help him with that at all except to never sugar coat what he's done, always be blunt, honest (tough love) about it all if it comes up) he will be able to talk to you when he deals with what has happened to him and he will probably start the conversation so long as he trusts you. Hopefully he has a program of some sort in the prison that is helping him and if not he needs to get that help when he gets out or it may start all over again. But right now, he has to find with in himself that he has a problem and he wont talk to you about it until at least that part is resolved in his mind, he will only back off from you if you push it now. If you love him and intend to stick by him then just love him right now and understand he is dealing with addiction. Go to some meetings (meetings for loved ones of addicts), start reading books on addiction, arm yourself with information about his drug of choice, etc etc; that is what you can do to help him and yourself. Be strong and look after yourself right now.