View Full Version : Getting married while on Basic vsiting


kat39
12-25-2009, 05:42 PM
Is this allowed? Do you have to get married with one behind glass over the phone? Will I be allowed to touch him?

dakodia
12-25-2009, 09:11 PM
Is this allowed? Do you have to get married with one behind glass over the phone? Will I be allowed to touch him?

This is something we've looked into and we were told no, we can't get married because my fiance can only have basic visitation. However, according to the Chaplain where my fiance is at the Superintendent at whichever institution your guy is in is the one person who can grant an exception. I don't know if he will but it never hurts to ask. Let me how it turns out for you!

kat39
12-25-2009, 09:58 PM
Then how come I hear of death row inmates who get married while in prison? This whole thing is just dumb.

Scott
12-26-2009, 02:45 PM
Is this allowed? Do you have to get married with one behind glass over the phone? Will I be allowed to touch him?

Basic visiting, in Oregon, means behind glass. It is doubtful that if he's on Basic visiting the marriage would be approved - since those are usually conducted in the regular visiting room, or a little side room right next door. It would require the Superintendent's express permission.

So my question (none of my business, I know) is why not wait until he's either out, and make it a really special day for both of you, or, at least until he's back able to have Privileged Visits?

Unless he's not getting out for years, it seems like it might be best to wait. The list in the "Wait" column are always greater than the list in the "Do it Now" column.
Would holding off be an incentive for him to get his act together and not end up with Basic visiting status. It's not hard to do, just have clean conduct...would that be more helpful to him?

Just askin...

one_luv
12-26-2009, 07:01 PM
Being able to have privileged visits is a requirement for marriage in an Oregon prison, per OAR rules. A superindent is allowed to break rules, but he would need a very valid reason to. They have to be careful about the precedent they
set.

Regarding death row marriages, I'm not sure if that happens in Oregon.

kat39
12-26-2009, 09:20 PM
Basic visiting, in Oregon, means behind glass. It is doubtful that if he's on Basic visiting the marriage would be approved - since those are usually conducted in the regular visiting room, or a little side room right next door. It would require the Superintendent's express permission.

So my question (none of my business, I know) is why not wait until he's either out, and make it a really special day for both of you, or, at least until he's back able to have Privileged Visits?


Unless he's not getting out for years, it seems like it might be best to wait. The list in the "Wait" column are always greater than the list in the "Do it Now" column.


Would holding off be an incentive for him to get his act together and not end up with Basic visiting status. It's not hard to do, just have clean conduct...would that be more helpful to him?
Just askin...


Hes had clean conduct for 8 years he made a mistake and it cost him huge but anyway we want to get married before he gets out because the man reason we love eachother and we are going to have a celebration on the outside but another reason is so it will be easier for him to parole with me to my county. We think they may give him a hard time or flat out refuse him to parole to me unless he is married to me. I have an address for him but hes supposed to parole to montomough (sp?) I want him to come to my county (douglas). I would wait until priviliged visiting and since its only twice a year its not until October. Since he got a DR this time we are thinking he might not be able to go to AIP for another 6 months so waiting until OCT wold be OK But if he was able to go to AIP and since its a 6 month program he would be out by summer and we could only get married in April. As for a big wedding if you must know been there done that. Just a backyard redneck celebration BBQ is my plans!!! LOL

Scott
12-26-2009, 09:32 PM
As for a big wedding if you must know been there done that. Just a backyard redneck celebration BBQ is my plans!!! LOL

Well, congratulations and best of luck. The chaplains really do try and make it as special as they can, under the circumstances. October is a short 10 months away.

Best wishes to you both!

kat39
12-26-2009, 09:40 PM
Well, congratulations and best of luck. The chaplains really do try and make it as special as they can, under the circumstances. October is a short 10 months away.

Best wishes to you both!


Thank You!!! I value your opinion as you have been behind the walls and I have not. I appreciate your presence on this site we need more that have been behind the scenes so to speak.:) Have a good new Year!!

Zelda50
12-28-2009, 01:14 PM
I'm not sure that, if you came up with a way to be married while on basic visiting - like having glass between you and a chaplain present - that it would be unconstitutional for them to not allow it. The inmate would have to submit the proposal to the warden and, if denied, then file a grievance and keep filing up the the line as grievances are rejected. I don't think the State can interfere with the right to marry. I could be wrong but you could ask the ACLU. If the prison chaplain wouldn't do it, you'd have to hire your own person to conduct the ceremony - not sure how many witnesses are needed and their clearance would have to be worked out as well. It would depend upon how motivated you and he are to try to make it happen. Zelda

Scott
12-28-2009, 02:03 PM
... I don't think the State can interfere with the right to marry.

The State can't interfere with your right to marry, but it can interfere with your right to get married while in prison.

http://arcweb.sos.state.or.us/rules/OARS_200/OAR_291/291_133.html

Makes for slow reading though...

Zelda50
12-29-2009, 12:06 AM
Just because they have an administrative rule doesn't make it constitutional. There may also be an equal protection issue - when they allow some inmates to get married and others are not allowed - if you can address any security issues. Because "safety and security" is the DOC's catch-all phrase when they want to do what they want. You see in the rule that the general introduction says that inmates may marry as long as it "is not inconsistent with the safe, secure and orderly operation" of the prison. Marrying someone who is on basic visiting in the regular visiting room would come under that phrase; getting married through glass probably wouldn't. As said above, you'd have to fight battle up through the inmate's administrative remedies and then maybe even in Court. Depends on whether it's a battle you want to fight, whether your inmate will be released long before it's settled, and whether you have the energy to try. Z.

calderonhyna
12-31-2009, 11:09 AM
I wish you the best. I know for me I was going to get married this last October. Two weeks before things happened and he went into the hole. THey need clear conduct for at least 6 weeks. Going in the hole stopped that now we wait.

allmb
12-31-2009, 05:55 PM
The OAR rules read, "...marriage or domestic partnership solemnization ceremony..."
which is ambiguous and can be read two ways.

First, marriage OR domestic solemnization ceremony. Second, marriage ceremony OR domestic partnership solemnization ceremony.

If you choose to take it the second way, (which by the way, we did and it worked) we passed on the 'ceremony' and were married in prison, without the ceremony and registered in the Washington County Clerks office on June 14th. They were not happy about it but...

that was just an added benefit.

kat39
12-31-2009, 06:05 PM
The OAR rules read, "...marriage or domestic partnership solemnization ceremony..."
which is ambiguous and can be read two ways.

First, marriage OR domestic solemnization ceremony. Second, marriage ceremony OR domestic partnership solemnization ceremony.

If you choose to take it the second way, (which by the way, we did and it worked) we passed on the 'ceremony' and were married in prison, without the ceremony and registered in the Washington County Clerks office on June 14th. They were not happy about it but...

that was just an added benefit.

Does that mean you are legal husband and wife then and how did you get married then?

allmb
01-01-2010, 07:25 AM
Does that mean you are legal husband and wife then and how did you get married then?

Yes, we are legally husband and wife; our anniversary is June 14th. Our daughter got ordained online and married us in visiting. That wouldn't work with basic visiting but there are ways to arrange that as well.

One way is this: Colorado allows for marriages by proxy like a few other states do but you do not have to be a citizen of the state in Colorado nor do you need a state address or to even be present in the state when you do. You can get a marriage application through the mail (by county) have someone stand in for your spouse to be and send it back to be filed to make it legal. I'd do some research and confirm all that - it was an alternate way I found back when I was searching and I abandoned it when our daughter asked to marry us - but I may have forgot some of the details because it no longer concerned us.

Zelda50
01-01-2010, 12:54 PM
Allmb: I admire your perseverence and innovation - truly an example of "where there's a will, there's a way." When my husband was in the Oregon DOC (25 years ago) and we wanted to have a child, everyone told us at first - no way. They were wrong, though I am thankful everyday that a particular warden was in charge, which made a huge difference. So, in the end, it's sort of a combination of luck, perseverence, and hard work. Z.

cyrsu
01-01-2010, 01:19 PM
yes, I think the state has no say in the visit as long as it breaks no rules,
a Chaplin or minister and a marriage license signed by both parties, plus two witnesses.

it would make all the passionate letters legal and decent.

dakodia
01-01-2010, 03:00 PM
yes, I think the state has no say in the visit as long as it breaks no rules,
a Chaplin or minister and a marriage license signed by both parties, plus two witnesses.

it would make all the passionate letters legal and decent.


So here's a thought...can you get your fiance transferred to some place like CRCI? My fiance has basic visitation only but at CRCI there's no visiting area with glass so he was able to sit at a regular table to visit. He even got a hug and nobody said anything. I'm sure there must be other insitutions that aren't set up for basic visitation as well that would work. Now you all have me thinking about this again. You'll have to let me know if you figure out how to make it work. It would give a lot of hope to people like me. I can't wait to tell my man about what I've read here. :-)

kat39
01-01-2010, 09:12 PM
But he got moved to two rivers. While at crci he was supposed to be on basic and LOP but they didnt get the orders or something because when I saw him we hugged and kissed like usual.

liljessa
01-03-2010, 12:16 PM
Yes, we are legally husband and wife; our anniversary is June 14th. Our daughter got ordained online and married us in visiting. That wouldn't work with basic visiting but there are ways to arrange that as well.

One way is this: Colorado allows for marriages by proxy like a few other states do but you do not have to be a citizen of the state in Colorado nor do you need a state address or to even be present in the state when you do. You can get a marriage application through the mail (by county) have someone stand in for your spouse to be and send it back to be filed to make it legal. I'd do some research and confirm all that - it was an alternate way I found back when I was searching and I abandoned it when our daughter asked to marry us - but I may have forgot some of the details because it no longer concerned us.

I am hoping for a similar situation, my fiance is in jail right now (in Marion County, OR) and we would like to get married before he goes to prison b/c I will be a felon and can't visit him there. I can visit him in jail though. My county here in California does marriage applications through the mail, do you know would it be as simple as me signing it and then having his lawyer take it to him and him signing it--and then sending it back to the county clerks office? Would we have to say someone who was and "ordained minister" married us (I have a friend who is)? I appreciate your post and am happy to hear of your creative strategy to marry the one you love! I am going to call the county clerk tomorrow (Mon.) and get some more general information, but what you did sounds like what I am trying to find out and do--"skipping the ceremony" and getting it legal on paper, as we have about a month to figure it out. Thanks!

jhawkdd
04-03-2010, 05:26 PM
Hes had clean conduct for 8 years he made a mistake and it cost him huge but anyway we want to get married before he gets out because the man reason we love eachother and we are going to have a celebration on the outside but another reason is so it will be easier for him to parole with me to my county. We think they may give him a hard time or flat out refuse him to parole to me unless he is married to me. I have an address for him but hes supposed to parole to montomough (sp?) I want him to come to my county (douglas). I would wait until priviliged visiting and since its only twice a year its not until October. Since he got a DR this time we are thinking he might not be able to go to AIP for another 6 months so waiting until OCT wold be OK But if he was able to go to AIP and since its a 6 month program he would be out by summer and we could only get married in April. As for a big wedding if you must know been there done that. Just a backyard redneck celebration BBQ is my plans!!! LOL

In Colorado you can't get married while in prison, but I am marrying my soon to be wife by proxy, and absentee affidavit. it is quite legal and there are provisions for it. So you are doing the right thing in that you want this to happen for the good of both of you. I am also an ex-convict, so she wouldn't be able to come to Idaho unless she has relation in this state. so I am marrying her so she can come home, and not to a women's shelter when she paroles out. i have already had the parole board person contact me about this, and i told her i have a home, and a job for her, and all the support she can handle. i am going to lengths to make this happen. I don't know what the word no means.
usually two ex-convicts can't consort with the other unless they are husband and wife, or brother and sister etc........so to be able to make sure she has a home, and a good place to come to. i am doing this this way, in order to make the law work for us. keep on going young lady. and do your thing and don't let anybody say any different to you. if it is in your heart to marry him, then do it, and then later think about a ceramony. but the ceramony is in your heart, not the physical presence of flowers and the like. it is the union you make with your dear one, and that is all that matters. We also don't have to have anybody marrying us, we are doing our own vows. the only thing i have to have her sign is the marrige license, take it back to the clerk of court and we are married.
GO for it and good luck.