View Full Version : What do you think of the food he cooks inside?


EddiesBaby
11-14-2009, 10:38 AM
On the phone with my guy the other day, he was talking about all the meals he was making with what he bought out of commissary. (He hates what they serve in the chow hall) And I have to be honest...the ingredients he was describing sounded absolutely gross!

Ramen, tuna and doritos? YUCK. But the way he talks, he thinks its great and he swears up and down that he's going to make some for me when he gets home.


No way in hell is any of that crud going in my mouth...


Does your guy talk about what he cooks up and what are your thoughts about it?

Mommy4Two
11-14-2009, 10:52 AM
Must be a prison thing! My husband tells me about his "spreads" too! I think they're gross from the get-go, but he, too, swears that he'll show me when he gets out! Once he was telling me how he makes peanut butter from crushing up nutter butter cookies! This was dessert for the night! LOL! And there's something else he makes with fireballs that's called a ______bomb...? I can't remember, but I'll try to and then repost... I'll bet someone else has heard of it and will come along and fill in the blank for me! :D

akaptrosa
11-14-2009, 10:57 AM
He's mentioned them before. I don't think much of them, but it is amazing what one will consider "good" when their options are limited. I also think it's amazing how much these "spreads" cost. :cool: Give me the dollar menu!!! lol.

calypsomom
11-14-2009, 11:36 AM
lol @ this thread. I get completely grossed out b the things he tells me they make pizza and burritos out of! Although I have to admit that when he fed me ramen noodles he had put pickles, cheese and hot sauce in it wasn't bad.

Tina
11-14-2009, 11:41 AM
It sounds gross but really it's GOOD! I had a friend that made me some "Jail Spread" just to prove it to me. He was sooo right! My man tells me all of the stuff that he uses to make meals. I told him I want him to make some for me when he comes home.

FRIENDSTILTHEND
11-14-2009, 12:00 PM
My guy always "talks" about the spreads they have during the holidays or when it's someone's birthday . . .lol. It's amazing the concoctions they come up with sometimes, with limited supplies.

Vanny
11-14-2009, 12:11 PM
hahaha when my hubby was out he use to make "spreads" as snacks. It looked like diarrhea in a noodle cup. He would make the noodles, then drain out the water. Make some chili and add the chili in with the noodles and topped it off with crushed doritos. He was like c'mon taste it!! and so I did...that was the first and last time I ate his spreads. It had the weirdest texture to it. lol...but I guess the spreads are better than jail food.

Onedaycloser13
11-14-2009, 12:21 PM
This is funny, last time I visited him he described this mess he makes and told me he was gonna make me some when he got home. I got out of it by saying I don't eat Dorito's they are too high in fat. Luckily he knows I am very particular of what I eat, unfortunately my kids gonna be his guinea pigs. I feel so sorry for them!!!

britnewbill
11-14-2009, 12:23 PM
My man made me some spread when he got out. i thought it was going to be grose, but it was SOOOO good!!! He was going to tell me how to make it, but i told him i wanted that to be his special thing. So he is going to make it for me again when he gets out. (this is his 2nd time in) So DEF have your man make you some! ITS TASTY ;)

WaitingOnEddie
11-14-2009, 12:25 PM
Well I did time myself...so I'm familiar with all the stuff he makes in there. Lemme tell ya...I STILL make peanut butter fudge prison style and EVERYONE loves it. Around the holidays I get people offering to pay me to make them up a batch.

And if you've never had prison style stir fry, you should try it. Yummy!

Shine730
11-14-2009, 12:48 PM
well my bf made a prison burrito at home once and ..... i loved it LOL

MrsWalton
11-14-2009, 12:56 PM
well here they call them "swolls" he said its cuz they put them in a bag and let them swell. i thought it would be discusting but to be honest we lived off of them for about a month. kinda broke and u can get 12 packs of noodles for $1.50 on the outside. even now i make them sometimes. great for a cold day they stick to the bones lol.

KeithsWifeyxOx
11-14-2009, 01:30 PM
Lmaooo let me tell you my man made a RAMEN NOODLE BURRITO the other day. EEEEW. He said the same thing, "It's mad good babe I'll make it when you get home." I'm with you, nooo wayyy in hell!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

KeithsWifeyxOx
11-14-2009, 01:31 PM
lol @ this thread. I get completely grossed out b the things he tells me they make pizza and burritos out of! Although I have to admit that when he fed me ramen noodles he had put pickles, cheese and hot sauce in it wasn't bad.

Oh yeah, I forgot he put pickles in it too. :rolleyes:

jeffsbaby
11-14-2009, 01:53 PM
Yeap the spreads and "hook up's" Jeff was telling me about them. The other day they put ramen noodles, tuna,cheese wiz on a burrito. I was like ewwwwwww oh yeah and salt n vingar chips. Not a freakin chance in hell!!!! He tells me I bet it beats your yougert and cottage cheese your always eatin. I still say yuck. Told him when you come home i will do all the cooking!

PTO-110524
11-14-2009, 02:38 PM
I've found a lot of prisoner recipes online over the years and continue to add as I find them. Some are pretty basic, but some are completely amazing! :thumbsup:

It was interesting to note that some prisoners have access to microwaves. My husband would love that, but all Cali inmates have are hot pots.

Anyway - I'll attach my Word doc of prisoner recipes. Enjoy!

MikesWifey
11-14-2009, 03:51 PM
yes, my hubby calls them hook ups and when he use to tell me about them I use to thing ewwww too but then my brother came home from prison and has been staying with me for a while and he made some for me and my kids at first I was hesitant and once I tasted it ,,,it was all over I have him make them on nights where I dont really wanna cook lol. so when I talk to my baby and we are talking about his "hook ups" I dont say ewww no more I tell him I want him to make me some when he comes home. whats funny is he tells me I am not making none of this mess again when I get out. lol

waitn4mybaby
11-14-2009, 04:03 PM
My baby lives off of ramen in there and they mix all kinds of stuff in them, but when he is at home he refuses to eat them, can't stand them to even be in the house, but my 7 year old loves them now. Maybe the smell of them every now and then might be a good reminder for him to stay on the right path.

Kristin420
11-14-2009, 04:59 PM
MRS WALTON- LMAO they are called swoles haha is that a VA thing or what?? LMAO I mean I kno we got our own slang, but I guess I didn't realize to what exent!! lolol the best thing we made in jail when i was there for my lil 90days was "birthday cake" we took a honey bun and crunched up a kit-kat on top and broke up a fudge round on top anf melted a hershey bar and drizzled it on top and put the whole thing in the microwave for a lil bit and ate it with ice cream YUM lol...but i was lucky we had a microwave and could order ice cream and we had a soda machine and carpet in our rooms and NO lockdown ever....it was like a college dorm with guards...still tho never goin back def learned my lesson!!

MrsWalton
11-14-2009, 08:30 PM
all this talk of spreads/swoles makes me want one. i told my man tomorrow im gonna go get the stuff that we made ours with when he was out....yummy. we used noodles, kielbasa, cheese, and those french fried onions yummy cant wait :)

Luv4My3Boyz
11-14-2009, 08:50 PM
about a year ago my man and his homeboy made a burrito spread, and that shyt was GOOD!!! He always talked about how good his spreads were, so I tried one. I had him leave out some of the stuff though. A ramen, chili bean, cheese and spicy cheezits.... didn't sound too good, but it was delicious. Of course, I was pregnant at the time so that might be why...lol!

Him making them for me here and there really helped in this last bid he did. I ordered him a quarterly package with all that stuff! He eats those little yellow chiles like candy!!! I sent him the 300 oz of his crap...and boy were him and some of the other guys happy...lol

HoNeYiLoVeU
11-14-2009, 08:57 PM
iveactually eatin it my ex made me some one time it aint bad at all but its an every now and then thing if i was in prison shoot then everyday its good considering

HisChildSindi
11-14-2009, 09:55 PM
This is a great thread. Yeah, he tells me about the 'dip' they make, even told me how to make it, plastic shoe box and hot pot and all. He wanted me to make it, his way... I was like I have a stove and all the other required normal kitchen paraphernalia. I'm going to let him make it for me, he's had plenty of practice!

I have never heard of the prison peanut butter fudge, that sounds interesting.

timsbaby41
11-14-2009, 10:13 PM
Yea my man tells me of the things they use to make and i have to admit i can't wait to try the nacho's.They sound pretty good.

CoNpal
11-14-2009, 10:42 PM
i am surprised at the amount of guys that eat this stuff after they are released. my boyfriend says he never wants to eat a raman noodle again after he gets out of there.

Luv4My3Boyz
11-14-2009, 10:56 PM
My man was just telling me a few hours ago about how good the peanut butter cake was at Corcoran. He said he'd love to find that out here, but he hasn't been able to. He said it has peanut butter filling and frosting. That sounds soooo good!!!

ChickfromMD
11-14-2009, 11:17 PM
Calling them "hook-ups" must be a Maryland thing...that's what my man calls them too, and that's about all he eats. He's a pretty healthy eater, so he usually makes "healthy versions" with brown rice, mackeral, green pepper, onion and some sort of seasonings. He also makes a burrito type of thing with raman noodles that he'll half-cook, roll out flat, then lay a beef sausage, cheese and some chili or something inside, roll them up and eat it like a burrito. Apparently a bunch of the guys will contribute ingredients and they make a big hook-up for everyone to eat while they watch football.

I think they sound pretty gross for the most part, but I'd try them if he insisted...he always tells me how good they are and that he's going to make them for me when he comes home, but I'm willing to bet that he'll forget about them when he sees the steak in the refrigerator. haha.

sarrahhhsayys
11-15-2009, 12:08 AM
haha. im not sure where they came up with this name but he referred to it as a "fungo, its five soups rolled out with chilli sausage and cheese, topped with corn chips" he said him and his cell mates rolled it up like sushi, and it was as long as a bed to the three of them split it lol. and he referred to it as "eating pretty good" i guess its ten times better then the bologna they were feeding him at county.

EddiesBaby
11-15-2009, 12:13 AM
hahaha when my hubby was out he use to make "spreads" as snacks. It looked like diarrhea in a noodle cup. He would make the noodles, then drain out the water. Make some chili and add the chili in with the noodles and topped it off with crushed doritos. He was like c'mon taste it!! and so I did...that was the first and last time I ate his spreads. It had the weirdest texture to it. lol...but I guess the spreads are better than jail food.

I think that he described something similar. :yuck: I just can't imagine that tasting good, but I'm extremely picky about what I eat.

Mommy4Two
11-15-2009, 12:35 AM
I think here in GA they're called "pockets"... This may be one specific thing he's referred to, but I know he talks about pockets a lot! :D

Tina
11-15-2009, 12:48 AM
Calling them "hook-ups" must be a Maryland thing...that's what my man calls them too, and that's about all he eats. He's a pretty healthy eater, so he usually makes "healthy versions" with brown rice, mackeral, green pepper, onion and some sort of seasonings. He also makes a burrito type of thing with raman noodles that he'll half-cook, roll out flat, then lay a beef sausage, cheese and some chili or something inside, roll them up and eat it like a burrito. Apparently a bunch of the guys will contribute ingredients and they make a big hook-up for everyone to eat while they watch football.

I think they sound pretty gross for the most part, but I'd try them if he insisted...he always tells me how good they are and that he's going to make them for me when he comes home, but I'm willing to bet that he'll forget about them when he sees the steak in the refrigerator. haha.

It's a NJ thing too.

EddiesBaby
11-15-2009, 06:02 AM
Him making them for me here and there really helped in this last bid he did. I ordered him a quarterly package with all that stuff! He eats those little yellow chiles like candy!!! I sent him the 300 oz of his crap...and boy were him and some of the other guys happy...lol

I ordered him a lot of the things he wanted in his last package. He sent me a sheet of paper with all the things in the commissary that he could make his spreads with. Some of the ingredients had me scratching my head. Tuna, cheese nips, ramen, chili, doritos..etc...

And he likes protein drinks for some god-awful reason. I guess it's for his workouts.

sabb266
11-15-2009, 09:39 AM
I think it all sounds awful too! The sad thing is that if what the guys in Morgantown say is true "the food from the vending machines is incredible" or "this is the best cheeseburger I have had in years" then I guess maybe it's not that bad Right? LOL

WaitingOnEddie
11-15-2009, 02:17 PM
i am surprised at the amount of guys that eat this stuff after they are released. my boyfriend says he never wants to eat a raman noodle again after he gets out of there.

I'm sure he means that too!!! I did 3 years and it wasn't until about 2 years after I was out that I finally ate some raman noodles again. And it's still very rare that I will eat them...only if I'm broke and really really hungry.

tryveto
11-15-2009, 02:39 PM
Well I did time myself...so I'm familiar with all the stuff he makes in there. Lemme tell ya...I STILL make peanut butter fudge prison style and EVERYONE loves it. Around the holidays I get people offering to pay me to make them up a batch.

And if you've never had prison style stir fry, you should try it. Yummy!

can i get a recipe for both? lol. but really though...

Jillian
11-15-2009, 08:22 PM
Actually i have had some and they weren't bad at all.

BlueEyedEllie
11-15-2009, 08:29 PM
can i get a recipe for both? lol. but really though...
I'd love a recipe for that pb fudge,too!!!!!

malosgrrl17
12-01-2009, 12:06 PM
I have heard about their SPREADS and that is just gross. My ex tells me that one day he will do some for me so i can try but I refuse each time he mentions it.

sweetgirlb
12-03-2009, 02:07 AM
You know, I thought it was very sweet of my man to offer up the little crap he has KNOWING I am a professional cook, KNOWING he cant wait to grub down on my good cooking, the fact he would share what little he has was what was so endearing.

besides, I have been known to put weird stuff in those noodles myself ... like nutritional yeast and mayo...

D13
12-03-2009, 02:19 AM
I posted this in a thread a while back. I thought it would be fitting here as well.

My wife and her cell mates have similar recipes that they make fairly regularly. Sort of a "pot luck" if you will, They call them "spreads". No, it's not necessarily good food when you sum up its parts, nutritional value, etc. BUT it is an opportunity for my wife and her cell mates to have a little sense of life in the free world. The chance to "cook" and have a meal that was created by THEIR own hands and not served on an institutional food tray at a predetermined time. A moment that was shared and not imposed on them. My wife will always say that the food is crap but it's the "meals" that make life inside livable. It's probably the same idea for the men incarcerated. Priceless in my opinion, but that's just my opinion. Thanks for listening

D13

MRS ALDER
12-03-2009, 02:29 AM
LMAO...my husband is the same way and it seems they are so proud of it to. After my hubby got released from county, before he went to DOC he made dinner one night. I have to say it wasn't the grossest thing but I wouldnt't eat it if I don't have to. My son loved it...go figure. But I think it's good to humor them because they don't have alot to be proud of ya know!!!

cornered
12-03-2009, 03:16 AM
Some time back when I was homeless, I was able to get a few bucks here and there, and I always bought the cheapest- Ramen Noodles. Sometimes rice. Well, it got to the point that to make the Ramen Noodles taste better (after a while the taste was enough to make me puke), I was adding ketchup, soy sauce, mustard, mayo, diced onions, horse relish, lemon juice, honey, etc. (from the c-store packets I snagged).

jlo3586
12-03-2009, 08:35 AM
Hahahahahaha OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG Fred used to tell me about the "spreads" they would make and how he was going to make it when he got home. (yea right, not in my kitchen LOL) Any way I go visit him on Thanksgiving, and I think I got the "spreads" disease. I took a cheeseburger, and a turkey and cheese lunchable, put the turkey on the burger (it was smoked, like bacon) and then the extra cheddar cheese........dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmm it was awesome.

LittleWing13
12-03-2009, 08:42 AM
When mine came home, I watched him make one (funniest thing I've seen in awhile). He made me one too and it wasn't terrible....but then again, I did go a little heavy on the Tabasco. LOL

It was funny because it was the second night he was home and that evening around 9:30 he was like, " So...you wanna make spreads?" Like it was that time...poor baby didn't know what to do with himself. LOL

He used to send me cut out recipes for spreads from the TDC newspaper...BLEH. :D

Spreads make me laugh.

light at end
12-03-2009, 08:22 PM
I've had some of the things they make in there and the stuff I have had is really good. Better than what I usually have for dinner.

sweetgirlb
12-04-2009, 12:59 AM
LOL
this made me think of a McGangbang (take a McChicken out of its bun and stuff it into a McDouble)

Hahahahahaha OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG Fred used to tell me about the "spreads" they would make and how he was going to make it when he got home. (yea right, not in my kitchen LOL) Any way I go visit him on Thanksgiving, and I think I got the "spreads" disease. I took a cheeseburger, and a turkey and cheese lunchable, put the turkey on the burger (it was smoked, like bacon) and then the extra cheddar cheese........dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmm it was awesome.

EddiesBaby
12-05-2009, 10:38 AM
LOL
this made me think of a McGangbang (take a McChicken out of its bun and stuff it into a McDouble)

A what? That just does not sound appetizing in any way, shape or fashion. But I'm picky about mixing my food. Chicken shouldn't touch beef. :p

HisWerita
12-05-2009, 12:14 PM
My husband tells me about the "good a$$" prison tamales. Apparently it's corn chips crunched up to act as maza, then it gets stuffed with canned chicken or tuna. I wonder what they use for husks to steam these tamales? Maybe their socks, who knows, that's what might give it that "special" flavor??? LOL, Nah, Babe, thanks but no thanks, we'll leave the prison tamales where they belong; in prison!

light at end
12-05-2009, 07:14 PM
Some Ca inmates have access to microwaves. Where my hubby is at there are 2 microwaves in the day room.

I've found a lot of prisoner recipes online over the years and continue to add as I find them. Some are pretty basic, but some are completely amazing! :thumbsup:

It was interesting to note that some prisoners have access to microwaves. My husband would love that, but all Cali inmates have are hot pots.

Anyway - I'll attach my Word doc of prisoner recipes. Enjoy!

SkyeFowlkes
12-05-2009, 10:39 PM
Oh gosh, mine thinks he's a chef now all of a sudden...he's like baby im gonnna cook for you all the time...an im like yea i cant wait (sarcasticly speaking) lol....

eternally17
12-07-2009, 05:52 PM
LMAO!!!! hahhahahahahahhaha... ditto.

On the phone with my guy the other day, he was talking about all the meals he was making with what he bought out of commissary. (He hates what they serve in the chow hall) And I have to be honest...the ingredients he was describing sounded absolutely gross!

Ramen, tuna and doritos? YUCK. But the way he talks, he thinks its great and he swears up and down that he's going to make some for me when he gets home.


No way in hell is any of that crud going in my mouth...


Does your guy talk about what he cooks up and what are your thoughts about it?

eternally17
12-07-2009, 05:59 PM
lol... what?! hahahahaha... wow!!! McGangbang...lmao!! haahahahahahah

LOL
this made me think of a McGangbang (take a McChicken out of its bun and stuff it into a McDouble)

$Mrs.Chavez$
12-07-2009, 06:13 PM
Its a spread lol...my hubby loves it! it sounds sOoOo...nasty...last time he had roman chicken noodle soup w/hot Cheetos! lol

only1love
12-12-2009, 01:47 AM
He has never been in a place with provisions to cook. No stove, no microwave.

sleepless in Tu
12-12-2009, 10:08 AM
My daughter tells me some of the recipes the ladies come up with and I think they are so creative.A lot of them really make sense, for example Menudo,they use the broth from the ramen noodles and add corn nuts and pork rinds.

joetnymedic
12-12-2009, 10:42 AM
anything is better than "jail food" and the mcgangbang had me cracking up :)

J&DB
12-12-2009, 11:45 AM
my guy was put into the kitchen working when he first went in and then...they appointed him HEAD COOK! he thinks this is really funny...

i don't know what he makes while he's in there, i'll have to find out