I just completed my pre-marital counseling last night with a clergy. But he wanted to know how I met my fiance'. I told him I met him through my daughters boyfriend when he was in Lawton ,OK. That was last May of 2003. And he advised me about how some prison inmates take advantage of women, but I know in my heart and soul that Raymond is not doing that. And the preachers wife asked me did I work and I said no. Then she wanted tp know how I supported myself. I told the truth and said that I recieve a veterans widows benefits every month. And my mother said she was worried about how I would take of myself if after we got legally married and my benefits were cut off. Raymond was under the impression that I would'nt have to tell the veterans department about the marriage until he got out. I want to marry him so bad and I dont want to disappoint him. Now I am worried that the preacher is going to tell the chaplin at the prison and they wont approve the marriage. The preacher said that if our love was a true love that it would sustain all obstacles and time. I dont know what to do. I am going to see him on Sunday and tell him if he realizes that I could get my benefits cut off and then I would'nt be able to come to see him as much, accept as many calls.please help! I will not be able to check any replies until tomorrow.HELP! :fb: :idea:

I think if you tell your man what you mentioned he will understand!

That's tough... I surely feel for you... I really think though that you would lose the benefit and would definitely have to tell them (benefit dept)... It could be a felony if you didn't tell them immediately...

I'm sure your man would understand considering the circumstances... And I'm with the Pastor... If the love is real and true, it will stand the test of time... It's hard...

You know, you could get your last name changed legally and hold off on the wedding until he gets home... Then you could keep your benefits and still carry his last name... Just a thought...

Good luck to you with these tough decisions...