havent had mail or call since the 22cnd of last month. Found out he has been in general population, has been at shop every day...he is fine. I have written him several times imploring him to write to me,told him i was flipping, crying, not sleeping. and still no word. In threee years I have never only gotten two pieces of mail in one month.
We were planning our wedding, his home plan and he was telling ME to get on the ball!
I am hearetbroken and lonely but ready to throw in the towel. I have gone thru hell with him and dont time right along with him. I think HE things (knowing my temper) that if he doesnt write I will write to him and make it over to let him off the hook. Instead, today, I copied the last page of last letter where he asked me to marry him again and just put a bunch of question marks on it.
I dont hik its mctc mail or the post office, my gut tells me he is backing out and knows how much it would hurt me and is being a coward. My mother is dying, (i am her caretaker) is losing her house, i have had serious health issues and my BF and i have had a few rough issues come up lately he hasnt addressed.
I am really sad really pissed and really lonely. Tink

((hugs)) I'm so sorry you haven't heard from him. I'll be praying that a letter arrives soon that fully explains why he's been so quiet.

at this point I am half afriad to hear from him...I am afraid he is over it!
it wouldnt be the first time he pulled back, and it hurt me gretaly. He knows this is the most hurtful thing he can do to me....
One the bright side, if its over, i can plan a whole new life. I know that sounds cold but thre are so many maybe's when you are waiting for a man who scewed up so bad he got ten years...he did some pretty messed up stuff. As much as i love him and always wanted to believe we could have the life we wanted I know I would always worry that he would slip back to some of his old ways (like the dummie joined a gang for a year in jail and it was hell getting out) stupid needless moved for a 35 year old man who says he wants a family and a quiet life of peace. (and no I am not worried about mentioning gangs on here cuz he has been firmly out and the jail knows it) But crap like that makes me wonder just where his head is at at any given moment.
I have put alot on money, time, blood swaet and tears into this. I deserve better than two stinking letters in a month. Both of them chastizing ME for not writing more!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wrote him like 7 or eight days in a row, sent him a card, sent him money to set up tnetix , sent him three books (all last month) and NOTHING back from him. I doubt its MCTC mail. I am dont being patient..I am ready to moved on..I just wish he had the decency to tell me WTF? thanks for your support!

havent had mail or call since the 22cnd of last month. Found out he has been in general population, has been at shop every day...he is fine. I have written him several times imploring him to write to me,told him i was flipping, crying, not sleeping. and still no word. In threee years I have never only gotten two pieces of mail in one month.
We were planning our wedding, his home plan and he was telling ME to get on the ball!
I am hearetbroken and lonely but ready to throw in the towel. I have gone thru hell with him and dont time right along with him. I think HE things (knowing my temper) that if he doesnt write I will write to him and make it over to let him off the hook. Instead, today, I copied the last page of last letter where he asked me to marry him again and just put a bunch of question marks on it.
I dont hik its mctc mail or the post office, my gut tells me he is backing out and knows how much it would hurt me and is being a coward. My mother is dying, (i am her caretaker) is losing her house, i have had serious health issues and my BF and i have had a few rough issues come up lately he hasnt addressed.
I am really sad really pissed and really lonely. Tink

I am sorry to hear this is happening to you. I don't know your guy but it seems like the men get nervous when their time gets short maybe that's the issue. Either way you two need to talk after all this time you should be able to say how you feel and possibly remain friends. There are questions that need to be answered

it would be nice if we could talk, if he would repsond, but he wont......bummer

I wish I knew what to say to you to help ease some of the stress and anxiety your feeling because you havent heard from him, but there seems to be nothing to offer except for comfort untill he eventually lets you know the score and then we can hopefully help you from there on in. There could be many other reasons why he hasnt written and hopefully its one of those that has kept him from the pen, you just dont know yet. If he wants out, then surely after 3 years he should have the guts to tell you. Try not to stress out too much if you can.

I guess I am a little afraid to just sit back. The last time his communication slacked I found out EIGHT months later he was writing (love letters) to his soon to be ex wife! He spent my money on paper, stamps, cards. He has three kids by her, I dont know if she has been to visit, but i know she drop a line from time to time that he normally tells me about. My imagination is on overload. It wasnt even him that eventually told me about the writing. SHe and I got to talking thru his dad to make sure we werent going to visit on the same days and she READ me the stuff. I didnt speak to him for a year, he followed thru on the divorce....but I will never forget (although i have forgiven) eight months of him actin weird, wrting less, and at time dropping out (but not for this long ever)
When he aplogized and asked to come back into my life his made solemn vows of honesty and to ALWAYS, even if it was bad new, keep open the lines of communication. AS far as I am concerned, he has seriously dropped the ball. I really needed his love and enouragement and letters THIS past month in particular and he knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!I just got out of the hospital!So, there is hsitory to this and I cant imagine waht he can say to me that will make it ok. Right now, ihave lost faith in his word.

Im sorry this is happening. Youre completely right about being able to start a whole new life if this is over, even though it hurts! I HOPE youre not still sending him money girl! I think every woman in here has heen through a certain amount of sh*t for their men, and any guy whos gonna back out of that kind of loyalty doesnt deserve it in the first place. I know it wouldnt be nice to have any sort of closure with him. Maybe you should
write him letting him know youre going to be moving on with your life because its unfair
to you to be wasting time with someone who cant do so much as write to let you know its over, then include a stamped envelope with your address and a piece of paper. Tell him you would appreciate if he could just give you a minute more
of his time- considering how much time you've given him. If not- tell him to have a nice life- b/c you know YOU will! All the best, youre in my prayers girl!

*spell check!!* WOULD be nice to have closure- my bad!

http://content.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/emoticons/0002032B.gif (http://www.sweetim.com/s.asp?im=gen&lpver=3&ref=10)



I'm sorry that you are going through this,but you have to do what's best for you right now. write him and let him know that this will be the last letter he will get from you and if he want's to talk to you he know the address.


(http://www.sweetim.com/s.asp?im=gen&lpver=3&ref=12)

:) Well i finally heard from my DH. The mail has been held up. He says the average time inside peeps are getting thier mail from home is ten days. He got all my letters in one day. I got both of his today as well mailed nine days apart!
He says guys are flipping out over it ( i got that T-shirt) Sorry i lost it in my earler posts but like all of is we have some baggage and with no communication AT ALL my imagination was going buck wild. Thank you everyone for your support.....it wasa all that kept me from punching a wall or writing him some hate mail i would regret later. Waiting for yur man is so very hard......when ther is no contact and serious unresolved issues its worse.
thanks again. I am trying to be a more active support now that my password finally seems to work..i have to get a new one every few days from prison talk for some reason as the old one wont take!
Happy Tuesday, I am in love again (and he sent pics!)

I'm glad you finally heard from him and that all is well!

Yay!

I'm glad that you heard from him and got your mail.

I am sorry to hear what is going on with u. I feel what u r going through. My b/f has done the same thing to me. He called me once a week (i couldnt afford any more then that at $13 a call) and never failed. I did write to him and send him cards. I will say a few things from the beginning to give u an idea of how things changed. First he was at WCI (when i met him) the cards, letters and calls were often. I sent him money when i could and even bought him a $150 TV and paid for 2 or 3 calls a day at .85 each. Last year in July he was transferred to BCCC in Baltimore 3 hrs away from me. Things changed completely after that move. in the Year he was gone I didnt get one letter, not one card, nothing only a phone call that I payed for each week. I never went to see him because he didnt act like a man who wanted to see me.
When I ask him about coming he said well I need some money. Yeah, I know not the talk of a man who says they love someone. I continued waiting he was soon to be released. (there were many lies he told me about his release date) Well he was then transferred to BPRU across the street from BCCC. Same situations except he got an outside, un supervised job. Which was cool. Well June 1st he called me (he and a friend had cell phone so he called on that for a few months, good for me). We never had any real meaningful talks due to that though. Well, after the June 1st call I didnt hear anything from him until July 5th and he calls to tell me that he was transferred to MTC up the street. Said he caught a ticket and all of that. I am worried and scared thinking more time he was due to get out the month of July. Well he was released July 28th 2009 (last tues) I have not heard a word from him. NOTHING. Can u believe that. I just dont understand and never will.

I dont mean to take from ur situation. I know ur having a rough time and feel ur pain. I am always told if u want something bad enough it is worth fighting for and anything worth anything is worth fighting for. I am not sure of ur situation with him. Whether u knew him before he went away or what. I didnt meet mine til 17 yrs into his sentence. Well, I wish u the best and u will be in my thoughts and prayers. If u need to talk feel free to PM me. Take care and keep ur head up. Sometimes these guys back away for reasons even they dont know. The best to u always.

Sorry didnt get to read all the replys or missed one or something and I saw u heard from him. THAT IS GREAT I am happy for u. :)

I see a lot of you are going through the same things....i was a member here long time ago...now i joined again, because I am lonely with my problems. My fiance is in MCI-J and I am in Germany...I used to visit him 3 times a year....we made plans for marriage next year..after a 10 year relationship....now I have not got a letter since over 2 months. ..i dont know if the prison is on lock down...and trust me all,,,,,its worther when you are out of the country....to set up a phoneline is all i am working on right now...but the money is short at the moment....i hope i dont lose him other ways....

There's has been some changes going on over their. but i hope that you hear from him soon. try writing him and find out what's going on.

The mail sucks period which only sends us into a fury. My friend still has not gotten a book I sent him that was signed for on 10/13!! I called the supervisor today who could track exactly where it was and he said "it's over on the east side, he'll get it eventually!" My friend said on Thursday's they get certain mail like from UPS and they were on partial lockdown last Thursday so hopefully he'll get it this Thursday-ALMOST A MONTH! It's so frustrating!
Hang in there!

The mail at MCTC is still extremely slow...still taking about a week to get mail to him.