Hello everyone!
I just had a visit yesterday , my love who i hope to be my husband someday is in for LWOP . I had not been up to see him, for a couple of weeks, but i was wriiting i had noticed my letters where very short and limited..

Well during our visit i noticed a "change" and i felt something was really wrong and when i asked and kept on the subject he stated he was "tired" of this life and just wanted to end this.. talking sucide.. at first i was responding with don't say that!! (naturall reaction) when a loved one, says this, and then i just tried to calmly listen.. this is very difficult .. for me there is not much encouragement .. to say at times.. when your facing LWOP.. although i do try to stick to positive.. just hang in its' gonna get better.. i pleaded try to make deals.. etc:))) just to have him agree to trying to get out of the depression he is in.. i spoke with his mom.. she suggested calling the priest up there , and having him stop by brians cell just to talk.. but what can i do.. ifeel so powerless i know this is long.. but i am at a loss.. i feel a little angry at himtoo..
for saying this.. so i am going through everything.. crying.. and confused.. help
HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS!!HELP..
Donna C

Donna, I wish I had some great words of encouragement for you. I can understand your anger - but those who feel suicidal don't think of the pain they may leave behind. I think its a good idea to call the prison chaplain and let him know whats going on.

I think your siggy says it all... hold on to your love, faith and hope. And keep telling him how much you love him and will always be there for him! Its not wrong to remind him that his negative thoughts are hurting you.

mrsdragon

advice: Let him deal with it , offer words of encouragement and dont stop,
i myself know and have many lwop friends in the prison system,and they are a whole different breed of inmates,there mentality level is so different than your everyday average joe inmate,they have to prepare to spend the rest of there life in prison and i cant imagine the heavy burden that must carry,and for his own good ,i dont agree with telling the chaplain at all,all he'll do is tell
and the next thing ya know he'll be locked up in isolation with no blanket , no clothes,no nothing,on a crazy suicide watch that who knows when he'll get out of that , so think real hard about the impact it could have on his life before you tell, and most of all pray , i pray every night for all the inmates
especially those doing life.
your friend : EMANON 187

emanon gives very wise advice. I say the same thing. You don't want him to be locked up in suicide watch because that could really tip him over the edge. Talking of suicide like he is, he's just sharing with you his feelings of despair that he's having at the moment. It's a healthy thing that he has you to talk with about them. In his place, we'd go through times of feeling like we didn't want to go on, too, and talking things out with a trusted person is a way of getting the feelings outside ourselves so we don't dwell on them and can move on. Imagine yourself over coffee with a trusted friend or loved one saying, "I just sometimes wonder whether it's worth going on" if facing a prolonged illness or something. Don't do anything but be reassuring with him, suggest to him that HE might ask for a counsellor or priest if he wants to talk, but don't alert anyone because then he'll be put into a situation where he's even more desperate. Hurry and tell his mother not to alert the prison, too, so she won't do it. Fred has told me that men go through these periods and that the best thing to do is just keep writing, telling them you love them, and reassuring them.

I agree with mrs dragon. I would call someone up there ASAP. I am not meaning to alarm anyone, but it's not normal for a person to talk of wanting to end it all unless that person is suicidal. There are lots of misconceptions about suicide and it's not true that a person who does not talk of it, often is the one who does it. He is screaming for help. and what I feel is that he is overwhelmed by his circumstances. facing LWOP is and would be overwhelming to anyone given that ...and this is not to be taken lightly. He might need medication and it could just be something called situational depression...find a person qualified in this to get up there and see him...Please!

Hello Everyone.. and thanks for the advice..i like the diversity.. tell/don't tell..hmmm well i made the call yesterday before i posted (to the priest)..however i got dam voice mail..and i didn't say anything .. much .. justwho i was who i was calling on..etc.. and he never called anyhow i could of been calling for anything. Never said what my concerns where.. If they threw himin seg..well here we go again!! i have been through this before.. with him.. but not this bad.. i have to let him have his "times"too..like my pms.. :))) i wrote him a letter long one..one side nice sweetstuff.. then igot real and said cut the shit and stop the stinkin thinkin and start working outagian..and allthat other stuff.. so i was niceand tough loving:)_))) what else can i do ..nowiwanttowrite
back and say..i';m tired too i mtired of my bills, school, work,my obligations,taxes,neighbors, ourworld, my goverment,the injustices, icouldgo on..
so good niteand thanks everyone

Donna

you are welcome and in my prayers as are all inmates and lifers
shalom and g-d bless
emanon 187

Donna C-
I see you posted a few days ago. There's nothing I could say to make it easier. You know him best, so do what you feel is the best thing to do. Have faith in God!