Wow! I am very excited about this forum. I would like to introduce you to my children and how they are dealing with our situation:
There are five precious babies in our family Gracielle (6), Travis(5), sabrina(3) and Victoria(2) and Stephen Jr.(1)...
their father will be gone for at least 2 years. They have a range of emotions. Anger and distrust of the police. Especially from Travis. As we walked to the jail for a visit he shook hid head up and down and said "yep, a bulldozer could get here!" Sabrina calls herself Snow White and after he left she said "I am not Snow White anymore, Daddy was my Prince". She has gotten physically sick and withdrawn..only after having a contact visit with him did she get better.After the visit she exclaimed "We found him! daddy was lost but now we found him!" She has gotten alot better. The only way I can describe the way Gracielle reacted was..she cried and wailed like an old Italian woman at a funeral who throws herself on the coffin. Victoria wondered around the house calling for DADA and has trouble sleeping. I had thought StephenJr. was unaffected due to his age but He has struck a deep bond with my father and does not like to leave him. And when we went to visit Stephen he freaked out calling DADA DADA..he had not said it since he left...Things are getting better now..bedtime is the worst. I kiss and hug them all twice for me and Daddy and that helps some.We talk about Daddy often and I am open about my feelings..we have even held eachother and cried..They are a source of comfort to me as I hope to be to them..The oldest have started counseling in school at my request because I have no means of outside counseling...SO that is just a piece of our story..Not only do the caregiver of children of incarcerated parents have our own feelings to deal with but our children's as well...with God's help I hope to turn this into positive experience for them ...teaching them to obey the law and be a good person...It is a long scary road ahead and I thank you David for creating this area for the kids, and I know I will be an frequent poster..haha...


Also I am looking for any books FOR some kid's books on this subject...I havent found any so far and I am thinking I may have to write instead!:rolleyes: Good luck to all out thereand look foward to sharing with all of you! GOD BLESS!

I have a six year old, she was just shy of 3 when her dad went away, he will be gone until she is ready to start college. It has been really hard on her. I started out saying Daddy was at work, or that he would be home soon, but kids are smart. She knows he is in jail, and he will be there for a while. I still don't think she can understand what 17 years is, so for now this answer works.
She is in therapy also. It has been helpful. But just as things were getting better for her I got a case and I will be leaving her as well. Not for nearly as long but....every time she sees a police officer she gets upset, thinking they are coming to take me right then. Telling her that we will know before it is time for me to go does not take away that fear because in her dads case, they came and got him and he never came back. Her "heart is breaking" and it is breaking my heart. She is 6 and the other day she said it would be better if she were dead. I stopped in my tracks, what could make her think something like that? At six why would she think death is better. I asked and she said her heart just was breaking and it hurt to much. I asked what she thought being dead would be like and she said she didn't know but it couldn't hurt like this because people bring flowers.
I want to stop her pain, but there is no way how. I think of Bush's speech, about children of prisoners, how we need to help them, how family is so important, yet they are quick to lock up and throw away the key for non-violent offenders.

There are a few books, none that I personally felt helped, what helps is us talking to them, holding them and trying to explain. HOWEVER, you can check out www.fcnetwork.org and they have a reading room.
Kali

My 6 year old little girl has also said she wished she was dead because her Daddy will never come home ...I am so surprised!! I agree that there is nothing better than us talking with them...I am so sorry you have to leave too...I hope your time goes quickly and if there is anything we can do to help let us know...I will pray for your family...You have the worst of both worlds huh? I send you all the love, luck and hope! I do not know if you are a religious person but here are some scripture refrences that have helped me hang on : Romans 8:18 and Romans 8:28....much love!

kali,
My own heart broke and I just want to cry that your baby is feeling that way. 1. I remember feeling the same way at about 7 yrs old for other reasons and 2. I worry about my little girl and more so for my step-daughter and son. Their incubator (and that is putting it nicely) thinks she is going to keep us from ever seeing the kids and wont let them see hubby at all. We don't have much longer but even a little time can effect a child's psyche. My heart goes out to you and your sweet daughter. Thank you for having her in counceling. I wish my parents had been so knowlagable. You are in my thoughts and prayers.