hi i had a ex boyfriend years back that went away while we were dating, back then he had been out of jail after doing a 5 yr bid, he violated parole and now did 14 1/2 yrs , i have not really been in contact with him during that time and since married and have children but i always think about him and have always had special feelings for him. well we lost contact after about 3 yrs in to his bid, the other day i was looking on a inmate locator and put his name in and found him still in jail with his parole date in 9/2004 his max is 6/2005 i wrote him a letter to say hello and now i am being told by someone who has been in jail that that is not such a good idea because it can really screw his head up. what should i do i wonder so much on how he is going to adjust coming out and i dont ever want to hurt him ,but i do miss him and just felt the need to contact him.

Well - what are you offering him? I am sure he could use some friends pulling for him. It all depends on how you approach your friend and what you promise him. If you have feelings for him it could be playing with "fire", but I am sure you already know that.

But a friendly hand won't screw his head up as long as the terms are set and both agrees on them. Good luck :)

I agree with what APB said about being clear about your approach and careful what you promise. I am assuming you're still married, so I would just add that you should think carefully about developing any type of relationship with him.

I too have to agree with the others. You need to decide what it is you are wanting from him, if you are looking for a friendship only be sure to let him know. Like you said, you are qustioning how he is going to adjust to comming out, don't set him up for a fall. He will have alot to adjust to and I'm sure he would love the support-it can never hurt,as long as you are both up front. I hope you find all the support for whatever you choose. Good luck!

I agree with lonewulf, be sure you are upfront with him and dont promise anything you cant keep. That can mess a person up, even out here. Everyone has hopes and dreams and hate to get there hopes up for something that not going to happen. I hope things work out the way you want it too, just make sure you know what you want also.