I haven't posted on this forum before; I usually post in the California forum. But I could use a little understanding this time, and thought this might be the place!

My friend is in prison in Califonia (are any of you here from CA?). I thought it would be okay there, since CA seem to be overall more tolerant, but it definitely doesn't seem to be the case in the prison system...

For the most part, he's been OK with the other inmates... He has a really hard time whenever he first gets moved to a new facility or a new yard, but eventually gets things worked out okay. He's been in for 2-1/2 years, and he only has about 10 months left. the inmate rules are stupid, but he doesn't have too bad a time when he abides by them. Those rules are things like, a gay person can't allow others to smoke, drink, or eat after him, he's not allowed to speak to people who are in certain groups, etc. With a strong committed relationship on the outside, he's not sleeping with anyone in there, and that causes a few problems, but he's been ok.

He became really close to one of the straight guys in there (a Lifer), who has really looked out for him. The Lifer has to take a lot of abuse for this, but he's cool with it. Most of the inmates consider them a "couple" now, even though they aren't, but that works in friend's favor... everyone leaves him alone because he is the Lifer's "property", so to speak. His situation has been really good for the past 6 months -- other than the fact that it's prison, it's been ideal.

Some of the guards and the prison staff, however, have not been so cool. They constantly make threats against him, accuse of him of sleeping with everyone, and generally harrass him and anyone who is nice to him. Today, even though he hasn't been in any trouble at all for over 9 months, they decided to transfer him to another prison on Monday morning "for discipliary reasons." He's 2 points over the level 2 yard where he is, so they are using that as an excuse, even though there are straight guys there who are 30 points over and want to get transferred, but they won't approve that. They tried to move him a month ago, but we managed to get that stopped. Then they tried again, but we got that stopped, too. This time, though, I'm not sure there's anything I can do to help, and it's tearing me up. His attorney says that even though it's obvious discrimination, they are sending him to a good place this time, and we should just accept that. If we try to fight this, the attorney thinks that he'll just get transferred to a place that's MUCH worse. I'm trying to find another attorney who thinks that we might have a chance to stop this, but since he just got hte news this afternoon (on a Friday) and they are planning to move him on Monday, how do I find an attorney to do anything in time? Plus, I'm 3,000 miles away, so that adds another layer of trouble to the whole thing... I'm going to keep trying to hlep him, because this is CRITICALLY important to him, and I understand that. But I'm really afraid that I'll let him down this time, because I don't know where to begin to find someone on this short of notice, on a weekend. Needlessly to say, I'm VERY depressed about it...

Are your loved ones running into these same kinds of problems in prison? Are they having this much trouble with the prison staff, or is this more isolated to just a few particular locations? No matter how hard I try, I can't understand why someone would want to cause this kind of problems for someone that isn't causing any trouble! What are those guards afraid of? Prison itself is bad enough, so why would they have to pick on someone just because he loves someone of the same sex? It's not like there's a shortage of people who are actually causing problems in there to pick on, if they need someone for that! Anway, I just needed to vent, and I really am trying to discover if this kind of discrimination goes on in all prisons, or if my friend just got "lucky" with this one.

And if anyone has any recommendations on where to look for quick help to stop this transfer, I'd really apprecaite any advice...

thanx.

Dahdahda

Well, I'm not used to Ca systme since my friend is incarcerated in Florida, and has been for over 16 years.

After such a long time, he no longer has any problem with the guards or other inmates regarding his sexuality. I however know he had to stand up and fight for himself when he went in. He was 16 yrs old and was an easy prey.

From what he told me, the problems mostly came from the inmates than from the guards. According to what he told me, the guards just don't care about "couples", to them, as long as they don't create problems it's OK. Once again, this is what my friend told me from his own experience in different state prisons in Florida. I don't wanna imply that Florida prisons are a gay paradise, cause they are not. Like anywhere else, many guys are in a relationship out of fear and not out of love, thus they become someone's "property" as you stated.

I'm sorry for your friend being transferred, and yes it is discrimination. I don't know what kind of advice to give you about this. I really hope your friend will be fine in his new facility, if you can't block the transfer.

Hang in there
Phil

sorry to hear about what is going on with your friend. :(
my suggestion..is calling & speaking to the warden & filing a complaint on behalf of him...you DONT have to give your friends name & # and you sure as hell dont have to give your info..just say you know what is going on, you feel blah blah blah & you would like to file a complaint...and, call more then once if need be.

i am trying to get onto the CDC website..but my laptop isnt loading that page..the site might be down...but, ill PM you w/some phone numbers that might help, if you feel the need to take it elsewhere--to try to get some help. but dont forget, if you do call and make a complaint..make sure your friend knows about it & get his ok first. good luck!

mel

I will add a few cents to the conversation...

I am sorry to hear what is happening to your friend... and I do NOT think that it is the norm, but that isolated incidents of abuse do occur...and unfortunately they are sometimes directed at minorities and sometimes especially at gay Prisoners... (Gay Prisoners are not the only minority group that is persecuted) this abuse is often from the other Prisoners and yes, sometimes from the state/fed employees.

(I am not bashing CO's or making a general statement of abuse in the hands of DOC/BOP employees here... I am stating a fact that abuse CAN on occasion occur. I would never suggest that the state or the feds condone this behavior and would suggest that it is rare and the result of personal prejudice not of state/fed policy)

All this being said - your friend is obviously experiencing problems and is in need of assistance... Have you ever considered contacting the ACLU local chapter? The ACLU does do a lot of work with Gay Prisoners and may be prepared to assist you in this matter.

From my own experience - I have nothing but positive things to say. I am not saying that my Partner's life is a bowl of cherries or that he has never experienced any discrimination - but - the Missouri DOC has been in my opinion EXTREMELY ACCEPTING of our relationship. They recognize me as a Significant Other and essentially afford me the priviliges of being a Significant Other.

I know that my Partner has gone through his own trying times being 'out' in prison, but for the most part everyone is cool with him - or they just ignore him.

If I can be of any assistance - PM me directly and I will see where I can assist! Even if it is just to talk!