My husband is doing a 50 year sentence and still has 13 more to go and i feel so over whelm most days i just want to give up but i love him so dearly and i knw what i was facing when i became his wife,plus i promise nver to brak his heart. Any ways i am just missing sx, hugging,holding all the couple things. What do you guys do when you feel like this?

Pray for strength and comfort. This isn't by no means easy, but nothing worth having ever is!

Love and Hugs

Becki

Tahnks i have been praying just to make it through the day but it sems of lately the days are longer and harder to get through.

i just keep telling myself its a mood,sometimes i sit and write to him...

i write a long letter,telling him all my feeling but hardly ever really send it,sometimes rent a sad movie curl up with a box of tissues and have good cry blaming the movie for it..then i tell myself alright girl get a grip,you can do this it could be worse.no one ever said life would be easy.it's all just a test,and it's one i'm going to pass.one i know i can.

When it gets really bad I get in my pj's and curl up in bed and hope that the pain is eased when I wake up. Or sometimes I go to the beach, look at all the beauty there, have a good cry for all that he is missing and then go home and write him a letter about how I feel. After I feel a little bit better, I try to think about how truly lucky I am for all that I have.

Keep your head up and remember that there are other people who feel the same way - and we're right here for you.

I know how this feels. I try to keep my mind busy on something else so that it will pass. Of course, the passing is only temp. it always comes back, I try to think about the things he does that make me happy and smile. I know that the things in life you really want you have to work for and I am working for this. I always try to remember this. They can't stop time. Every second, min and hour is one closer to him coming home. Nothing can change that. It never stops!

Hi Latoya, You are not alone in your feelings. My man is serving a 45 year sentence, he has been in 51/2 years now. I did'nt meet him until last May. but we fell Instantly in love. We are planning to be married in March. But some days I feel like the happiest woman in the world and other days I feel like I just want to give up. But my love for him wont let me. I was wanting to ask the same thing. How do you cope with thinking about how much longer it will be until you will be able to be together again. The only thing that keeps me going is our phone calls, letters, and our affectionate visits. And when I dont get a letter or phone call when I think I'm supposed to it just drives me crazy. Some times I pace the floors waiting for him to call. Yes, I miss sex too! But know one else will do! How about you? Keep the faith and hold your head up and dont give up!

Hi Latoya, You are not alone in your feelings. My man is serving a 45 year sentence, he has been in 51/2 years now. I did'nt meet him until last May. but we fell Instantly in love. We are planning to be married in March. But some days I feel like the happiest woman in the world and other days I feel like I just want to give up. But my love for him wont let me. I was wanting to ask the same thing. How do you cope with thinking about how much longer it will be until you will be able to be together again. The only thing that keeps me going is our phone calls, letters, and our affectionate visits. And when I dont get a letter or phone call when I think I'm supposed to it just drives me crazy. Some times I pace the floors waiting for him to call. Yes, I miss sex too! But know one else will do! How about you? Keep the faith and hold your head up and dont give up!

Whenever I get to feeling like this, which is more often than not, I try to take some time alone and make myself realize it is all worth it... and then I sit down and write him a long letter or I even call his dad and we talk about him and stuff... Just remember, the best things come to those who wait!

well this is only my 2 cents...so take it just as that....go get you some...i have said this so many times that i'm beginning to wonder if anyone listens...I love my man with all that i am...I live life without him, i raise kids, pay bills, doctor visits, the dogs, the job...life...i will not and do not not live without the natural..god given NEED for sex...I don't play the field...but there is a close friend of mine that we get together and take care of business...its nothing compared REALLY THING..but it does relieve the pressures of life..if only for a few hours...

I realize that most everyone don't agree with me on this, but frankly without it I don't think i would have been able to spend all these years with him...

I keep myself very busy with work and stuff during the weekdays but weekends can be hellish if I don't have anything planned. It's not just the sex I miss, it's having a partner to take part in my life. An adult to talk to, a warm body next to me in bed, someone to watch t.v. with. I guess I just miss having my man physically present IN my life. I dunno, the only advice I could give would be to try to keep busy. Maybe go for walks or start a new exercise program? Take up a new hobby? LaTonya, you've dealt with this for so long. Hang in there girl. ALL you ladies are inspirations to me and we all deal with our loneliness in different ways. Do what you need to do to get through this. No one has the right to judge how you cope.

Oops. After re-reading my post I think the last line could be taken the wrong way. I didn't mean that anyone here was judging LaTonya or anyone else for that matter. I just meant that what we all do to cope is an individual decision. What's good for me might be total nonsense to someone else. Is this making any sense? I really need to stop babbling...

My husband's been in for 22 years and we've been together the whole time. When I'm feeling sad and lonely, I try to do something for ME. A bubble bath, a good book, a massage. But mostly, I try to get out of the house and do something for someone else - or try a new experience or take a class - so I can then share it with him. With him being in so long, it's important for me to have a life out here that I can share and that can boost my self-esteem. Even take a walk with a camera and take some photos to send to him. If you don't have a camera, you can get a disposable one. I also write in a journal so I can be totally honest with my thoughts. Or I get online on PTO and talk with some folks!! So glad to see you here. You love him and that can see you through if you don't lose yourself.

When these times come for me, I may sit down and write him a letter talking about the good times or things that have made us laugh. There are times when I just put on some nice music, light some candles and just lay on my bed and think about the good times we have shared. This reminds not only of why I love him but also why I am willing to wait for him. I also will re-read some of the letters he has sent me ( I have a whole box of them) and its as though he is there with me.

I do keep myself busy with work, and I am working towards my bachelors degree...so while I love and miss him, I am reaching the goals I have set for myself and my daughter, our lives have to go on, and he knows that as we go through our daily routine he is always part of it, in our hearts all the time. I make sure that he is a part of the things I do in my life too, so that when he does finally come home, he won't feel as if he is a stranger in his own home.

I get this way every now and then too. Being 650 miles away from him doesn't help. I just let it all out, write him, and then get some sleep. As I lay there falling asleep remind myself that it could be worse . . . I could never of been blessed to have him to begin with! ;) Just gotta take one day at a time, and remember to BREATHE!

buy a toy ;)

yeah i know that sounds like my advice for everything. lol but seriously. BUY A TOY.

even though hes been in almost 11 yrs & i have known him for a little over 3...im still in this with him for the long haul.. :) but, it works for me, and many others on this site. so thats my recommendation. :)