View Full Version : Am I Crazy?
01-07-2004, 09:21 AM
I've finally decided to tell a few of my closest friends about me being in love with and about to marry an inmate.
I've received mixed emotions, ranging from I've got your back to you are absolutely crazy.
My love has 10 years to go, and many feel that I would be throwing my life away, because I have so much to offer, and I wouldn't be able to do "couple" things - ie. go to the park, walk and talk holding hands, movies, etc. and they're also afraid that when he comes home he will either flip on me and do something crazy, or he will cheat with someone, or something else of that crazy nature. This is not my worry, cause I know him, and I know that's not his MO.
Due to the mixed emotions I have been receiving, I am beginning to feel two sided. One side says that I am crazy for wanting to marry someone who is not coming home for 10 years. and the other says follow your heart, this isn't someone you met while he was on the inside, but someone you've know all your life.
Just feeling a little down, and if anyone has any encouraging words or stories, please share them with me!!!
Thak you to my PTO family in advance, I know you will come through for me!
01-07-2004, 09:54 AM
Stick with your heart!! I've been getting the same thing for a while and even more after i did a stupid thing. My family and friends blame everything on my man. I got proxy papers to marry him and you'd think I had commited a major crime where all I want is to marry my soul mate, the love of my life, my better half, the man that I have looked for my whole life!!! My kids like him and so does my ex-husband, in fact he has even gone to visit my baby. so they are all that matter right now so, So girlfriend...go with your heart If you love him.....and he loves you...then the heck with anyone else!!!!!
01-07-2004, 09:13 PM
You should stick to what your heart tells you. I had the same reaction when I told some friends that I was thinking about marrying my husband. But I didn't let it get to me. When the time came and are papers where in and the date was set, I didn't tell anyone for awhile. Then I slowly started telling people and there was nothing they could say or do to make me change my mind about it. I've been through alot with him over the past 8yrs of our relationship and now we've been married 1yr this month and we're happy. You should never let anyone try to put anything in your head cause then you would be choosing their decision and not yours. Good Luck.
dont listen to what others say!!!!!!! u have to keep it between u and him...u r not with ur family member or friend-u r with him! good luck to u both....pm me if ya need me!
01-08-2004, 09:44 AM
i have heard the same words.my boy friend has 11 more years to go,less if very lucky.i had so called friends turning their back on me,ewww she is with a <gangster>....my boy friend and i get along very well,i could not turn my back on him,it would be turning my back on my better half!and if i have to go to S-S 3 times or more per week for 11 years i will do it.his family is great ,here for him,here for me.he advice me,is part of my life,exactly like if he was home.i hope that your spirits are higher today,those who do not have a love one in prison look at it on the negative side because they do not have lived the experiences we have.ny
01-08-2004, 08:13 PM
Hi, I am sorry that your relationship has to be tarnished by what other people say and think.....try to tune em out...you know what you and your man have...if you are sure and happy try not to let it/them get to you...I pride myself in being outspoken but sadly I have learned to try to keep a lid on my relationship...it is sad that I can't discuss him with my family and friends....well actually I choose not to because I do not want to hear the negative feedback..our situation is a lot different then yours we had only been together 2 months when he went back on a parole violation...so my loved ones really didn't know him that well to begin with..I have so little of him and love him so very much it is sad that I am not able to share our happiness and plans for the future because I don't want to hear the negativity... if all goes well my man should be home in October...and then they can see for themselves...Be strong and be happy......I know it is difficult but if you love him..hang in there and forget what others say....They probably THINK they have your best interest at heart....`.Judy
01-08-2004, 09:00 PM
Hi, I too have to say go with your heart. IF you love your man and dont want to be without him then it shouldnt matter to everyone else what you are doing, they should be happy if you are happy. You have the rest of your lives to be together. Even though you cant do the things a "normal couple" can do, you can do different things than take a walk in the park.... instead it may be a walk in the "yard", or you can sit and admire each other and play cards or what not. My fiance and I communicate more than we ever have. My fiance has to serve 4 yrs and he has only been in since Oct 21, 2003. I have had many people tell me that im stupid for waiting and stupid for making him my #1 priority on the weekend. You know what I dont care what other people think I love my guy and I want to be with him no matter what even if I have to wait 4 yrs to be with him again. We were only together 2 yrs before he went away. Im not going to lie but I have also had doubts on whether or not I should be so called "wasting" 4 yrs of my life waiting for him, but the answer is when I think of that I can not picture myself being with anyone other than the man im with now. 4 yrs is just a lil part of the long life we can live and lead once he gets out. Im sorry im blabbling. Go with your heart and your feelings, dont let thier opinions change your mind or heart.
01-08-2004, 09:22 PM
I have friends and family that think I'm nuts or they support me. It's your life..If you are happy with him and you feel in your heart that he is the one.. then go for it. Best wishes.
01-10-2004, 12:53 PM
Without a doubt, go with your heart! You'll regret it if you don't. And you'll never be truly happy. If you are willing to do what you've been doing for the next 10 years, regarding visiting, and faithfullness, support, etc... Then go for it. I didn't and we broke up before we got married (diff. reasons than yours), and I regret it everyday.
01-12-2004, 12:28 PM
Thank you all for your replies, I've made up my mind, I'm going to go with my heart, and I'm going to call for my marriage interview. I love him, and thats not going to change, whether it be 10 years or 50 years.
I love you PTO!!!
01-14-2004, 08:26 PM
good for you!!!!!! Best wishes to you and your honey. Together you can get thru anything. True Love is a wonderful thing.