Hey girls!
I just wanted to let you all know.
I was a victim of domestic violence. Also, he had a violent history of getting into fights his crack addicted step father.
His last charge was against me. Served 18 months. We were told we couldn't live together, maybe even couldn't even get married.
But guess what! We got married February 14, 2009. Had a beautiful wedding.
And, we live together! Although I'm a victim, they approved it. It was alot of talking to the parole officers.

So, so for all the girls that you were just mad at him and pressing charges, or if you think he's changed. And they're telling you that you can't live together, whatever! - Don't give up! I didn't... and I'm happily married, and he's a great guy! Prison does change some people!

I wish you all the luck in the world, but please remember that if your guy did change, he's a VERY rare example. It hardly ever happens that an abuser ceases to be an abuser.
If it happened for you, I'm happy for you, but you'll never catch me encouraging a victim to hope for something only slightly more common than hen's teeth.

I so appreciate your kind words of support. We would really like to hear from you again, in, let's say 3 months or so. If your situation truly did change, the test of time shall tell, and we really need that sort of encouragement.

I hope your luck holds!

Congrats on the wedding :)!!!

It's not impossible to be "together" after a DV charge - All I did was get a "peaceful" contact order - I'm sure this is easier to get when you have no children together though...I did have to attend DV therapy before they granted the order - You would think that they would have him do the same...but no, just me! How backwards is that?!?!? lol We have a 10 year "peaceful" contact order in place, almost everyone in the courtroom got the same thing, 10 years.

Congrats on the wedding :)!!!

It's not impossible to be "together" after a DV charge - All I did was get a "peaceful" contact order - I'm sure this is easier to get when you have no children together though...I did have to attend DV therapy before they granted the order - You would think that they would have him do the same...but no, just me! How backwards is that?!?!? lol We have a 10 year "peaceful" contact order in place, almost everyone in the courtroom got the same thing, 10 years.

They had you attend because there is a better hope of you understanding what you are up against than the abusive person changing. I know it seemed backwards to you, but the hope was in actually reaching you.

I hope the marriage works out, I really in truly do.

I think you may have me confused with the original poster...I'm not getting married anytime soon ;).

As far as the DV class they had me attend...I get why they had me go, but I also think they should have had him go too? lol - just makes sense, but that's not what they did so...that's what I meant about it being "backwards"...:)







They had you attend because there is a better hope of you understanding what you are up against than the abusive person changing. I know it seemed backwards to you, but the hope was in actually reaching you.

I hope the marriage works out, I really in truly do.

Mitchell, having him take that kind of course would require that he attend for two years, and that kind of concentrated work doesn't come in prison. You, on the other hand, you get a chance to re-think the relationship, maybe have a chance to decide how to set up limits, how to recognize the abuse that stops short of hitting, and maybe how to leave.