hello this is the problem
i went into the hospital and had an operation it was not planed and i was gone longer then i expected due to them f-ing up. when i came home i wrote a letter and even told him some of what happened i dont like to say alot because he is in the shu and all he can do is worry. so i dont like to do that. anyways its been a long long time and i still not heard from him my daughter has so its not the mail. then i get this letter from the prison that they denied my request to visit. this happened today. i would fight them but i feel why should i? he cant even tell me why hes mad and to just shut me out like this. ive been married to him for 15 years and he has been in 14. im starting to feel like its time to move on im just to sick to play games and i feel that i should be giving alot more respect then this and well you get the ideai. i know im hurt at the moment and i dont want to do something ill regret but i dont think ill be able to ever get over it respect is something that can never be broken or abused and once it is well it cant be fixed.

I guess what i would basically do is write him a last letter and tell him all of the things you just told us thru this thread. tell him if you dont hear from him you'll assume that its over. the cold thing about jail is you never know whats wrong when you dont hear from them. he could not be getting his mail or he coulkd be outta writing paper or anything. in the shu they cant use the phone, right? so just write him a last letter and see where it goes. that should determine what you do from there. dont just give up to easily. after 15 yrs it just wouldnt be right.

aww whichru I am so sad to hear about the pain you are going thru and have for the past 14 years - I reckon I would have to agree with jasonsmyhoney and write him a last letter and tell him you love him and have stood by him for all these years and that you deserve the respect of him at least telling you what his problem is in a letter. Did he mention anything to your daughter regarding this? Good luck and I will be praying for you.

Becki

Hi whitchru80........So sorry you've been hurt so badly. I think if it were me I would try to enlist the help of my daughter to write and explain why you didn't write and how hurt you now were over his actions.Guess I'm stubborn, but I wouldn't write for awhile, I'de wait for him to write me, Then if he still didn't write, I would write that last letter!! Your daughter recieving mail shows he could write.He should not abandon you in your time of sickness! Keep your head up, and I wish you the best.

my daughter comes home in the moring so ill ask her what he said in his letter ..i'm just confussed should i start on fightin this visiting thing or wait?

I would fight the visitation thing and I would keep writing him and telling him that you have stuck it out this long and that you want and need respect from him etc etc.... He is probably just as confused as you are right now and maybe even a little hurt that you haven't been completely honest with him. I understand that you don't want to tell all and make him worry but he IS going to worry anyway and it would be easier to know exactly what you are worrying about instead of your mind thinking the worst! Michael and I have been through this type of thing and we have found that tellling it like it is is much easier to handle for both of us! Good luck and hang in there, 15 years is a lot to throw away over a misunderstanding.