:angry:I have been with my man for almost six years. It's been a rough road. I met him over the internet and we matched up after a few months. Only after a month of being together we suffered a loss by hurricane, fire and homelessness. We separeted for awhile (months at a time) only coming back to eachother. We have moved from Florida, Pennsylvania, Texas and back to California. Well this last time in California, my own family screwed us over. He took the money we gave him for rent and didnt paay the lndlord. Therefore, homelessness was again approaching. Well at this stressful time, I was stressed out and lonely. He wasn't spending anytime with me. He likes working on computers.(for days) So I got into his face and wouldn't stop until he hit me. I deserved it. Later on that day we were both trying to negotiate with the landlord when he pushed me backwards in a chair. My landlord forced me to call the police. Well this happened back last May. No such incidents have occurred. He went in front of the judge in December and things looked good. He went back in front of judge 3 days ago and he was placed in jail for 30 days for not complying. Now we have been homelessness forever and we just got a place. Now because of me, when he gets out we are probably going to be homeless again. He has the only income coming in. His name is the only name on the checks. He worked so hard to get this place. I feel its my fault why we are in this situation. He is n ever going to forgive me if he gets out and we are homeless again. Any suggestions?

You did not "Deserve" to be hit, or shoved.... and "stress" is no excuse.

Sounds to me as though this is one of those relationships in which love is not enough.

You might be eligible, on your own, for General Relief funds, help with food and medical needs and emergency housing assistance until you can get better situated.... and please, please, please get counselling- it scares me that you're so ready to say "I deserved it" and "Because of me".... that's no basis at all for a relationship.

You did not "Deserve" to be hit, or shoved.... and "stress" is no excuse.

Sounds to me as though this is one of those relationships in which love is not enough.

I agree with you! You should try doing that power of attorney thing. This will probably allow you to cash his checks. But, I am not so sure about this. I'm pretty sure this is an option though. Bless your heart and I hope all goes well.

It strikes me that you don't really have much of a basis for this relationship other than bonding over stress. That means that, whether he's in or out, you need to get some work done on yourself. Jobs are hard to come by right now, but you can contact local agencies, see about going back to school to sharpen some skills. Take care of YOU.

Whether or not you getting manic in his face was enough to make you deserve abuse or whether you being in his face so hard/so much was in itself abusive, that needs work, too. Learn the rules of fighting fair (you can actually look that up!). Get someone who can help you start making your life more comfortable, less stressful (however you choose to define that) - try a local agency, again.

Please listen to what these women have said. They have given you great advice!!! Please do not say you deserved this, because you did NOT. And it is NOT your fault where he is. IT IS HIS FAULT!!!!

I hope you find the stregnth to do what you need to do for YOU!

God Bless you!

Go to your local welfare department you may qualify for one time rental assistance program they can pay your rent for one month, if you have never used this before. I think it is called the permenant housing assistance program. You need to qualify for this yourself, since he will be in custody.

I am sorry you are going through this but you should never blame yourself. His behaviors are his to own and if he needs to find better ways to deal with his stress then that is his responsibility also.