Today's column features the warning signs of DV (http://www.arcamax.com/dearabby/s-509751-382076)
... And the letter is wrenching... this girl is describing his behavior as "overprotective" when anyone on the outside would recognize it for the controlling behavior that it is.

wow number 13 and 15 are what i dealt with wish i had read this list before i met my ex but then again i probaly would of ignored it and just make excuses for him

I hope she leaves

wow number 13 and 15 are what i dealt with wish i had read this list before i met my ex but then again i probaly would of ignored it and just make excuses for him


The only ones I didn't tick were 12, 14, and 15..........but I'd have made excuses too.......*sigh*

Yep, can tick most of that list too!!

When my ex had one of his "tantrums" at his mum's he was sectioned under the mental health act for 14 days!!! I believe though that you can never tell someone to leave; you just have to give them the knowledge that there is lots support is out there and no matter what they will be going into and how difficult that may seem...it won't be any worse than where they are now.

Well, not quite a bingo, but 12 out of 15!

I've been disgusted to see two women comment to say, essentially, that he probably just has abandonment issues and that she should calm his fears and try to reassure him.... Y'all probably recognized my comments:cool:

The interesting thing that people don't get is that parenting, good or bad, causes changes in the brain in early life. Once that architecture is changed, that's pretty much it. Narcissists and ASPDs simply don't have the option of playing like the rest of us - they cannot learn the rules. It's like asking us to see into the ultraviolet range.

My abuser hit on each and every single one listed by Dear Abby, not a new revelation though to me. He hit on 19 of 20 indicators for sociopathic behaviors.

When I try and explain my stbx husbands behavior, I tell them that its like expecting a person with downs syndrome to relearn how not to have downs syndrome, and to appear normal as well. Once I realized that a sociopath/psychopath is just as disabled ( but differently, while appearing normal) I gave up all hope of him changing, i finally got it, why he couldnt and never would.

My abuser hit on each and every single one listed by Dear Abby, not a new revelation though to me. He hit on 19 of 20 indicators for sociopathic behaviors.

When I try and explain my stbx husbands behavior, I tell them that its like expecting a person with downs syndrome to relearn how not to have downs syndrome, and to appear normal as well. Once I realized that a sociopath/psychopath is just as disabled ( but differently, while appearing normal) I gave up all hope of him changing, i finally got it, why he couldnt and never would.
I disagree with that highly as many in my family are certainly off their rocker but learned how to deal with those unbalances later down the road. Especially me. I could been labled bi polar schizo with a touch of socipath but I learned how to change my self so as not to be on the next bus heading to Shoal Creek Asylum.

Scizophrenia has very little in common with sociopathy. We seldom use the term "Sociopath" casually in this forum... I congratulate you on your having apparently found ways to live with your illness, but BPD and Scizophrenia are both, to varying degree, treatable... Sociopathy is not. Many practitioners use "a touch of sociopathy" or similarly inaccurate jargon to describe a patient who does not exhibit appropriate affect.
When we say Sociopath, we're talking about something bone deep... the lack of a functional soul.

Miyraru- Asberger's syndrome and other afflictions on the autistic spectrum exhibit what in other settings might look like sociopathy. So do other syndromes. But Psychopaths DON'T look different, and often take care not to be outwardly different. Bi-polar and schizophrenia are so very different. In fact, if you had a touch of sociopathy, you would have NO interest in modulating your behavior - it's the hallmark of the sociopath to think that no change is either wise or necessary!

it's the hallmark of the sociopath to think that no change is either wise or necessary!

Well said!