Hey everbody I dont know if I am posting this in the proper place but....I recieved some calls yesterday from a gentleman in the local county jail. He used to be in the same "tank" with my husband..Well he was removed and Stephen was eventually transferred from that facility 3 weeks ago. I dont know how he got my number but he said he just wanted to see how stephen was doing. I told him he was moved and I also gave him a few words of encouragement. He went on tho tell me how he has no family anymore and it was nice to talk to a friendly voice. I thought that was where it would end but he called again just to talk to me ??? I again gave him a few kind words and he asked if he could call me again(he used a calling card) I explained that I was very busy with my kids and I didn't think Stephen would appreciate me talking with a strange man ...I got a creepy feeling from him...Now this morning a woman called me saying this guy had asked her husband to call me and ask if I would visit him this weekend..I told the lady that I didnt know him and she said she would send a message to him that I would not visit him because I did not know him and that my husband wouldn't appreciate me visiting strange men....Well I am kind of shocked I understand he is lonely but I dont know him from Adam...I sympathize with his situation but I have enough of my own to deal with..I also wonder what kind of person is he to ask a stranger to visit him...I am very worried because he mentioned he will be getting out probably within the next few weeks...perhaps hewill try and look me up...I do not want to alert the prison officials because he hasn't done anything wrong but give me the creeps..I told Stephen about him calling and he was very angry and wanted to know how he got our number..but I have not told him about him asking me to visit...I know I am probably over acting but I just have a funny feeling about the whole thing and wanted some advice......HELP!!!

If you got a "creepy feeling" trust in your instincts. He more than likely got your number by snoopping around your husband's personel things. You can put a block on his calling card number without alerting the prison system. I would respond to any more messengers with my full rath of not being happy about being bothered and say, "NO More" loud and clear. No further explanations or apologies needed.

Some people can not take being kind as just that. They take it as futher incouragement. You have you and your children's safety to put first and foremost. Don't worry about hurting his feeling or feeling sorry for him. He has to have someone out there because he would not have a calling card or anyone to be sending you messages.

Be careful first .

Thanks torrey thatis what my first feeling was...i appreciate the quick response!!

Amelia...
I completely agree with Torrey's advice.... (hey... good advice Torrey... :D).... You have to go with your gut and don't be afraid to set some very firm boundaries. I know we are all nice, kind-hearted people who are obviously empathetic to inmate's situations.... BUT... there are limits to that and we have to deal with our own situations. He sounds creepy and I don't trust his motives just from reading your post....
Be careful....

Amelia

First of all let me Say JODIE!!! Do you feel me girl?? He could have gotten the # by looking over stephens shoulder when he called or he could have a freiend who process paper work and he paid to get the #. Regardless you need to be careful and watch what you do and how you do it. Trust me I am sure if he has gone to all this trouble and had NO problem callling you or asking you to visit this is not done.

Be mindful and watch what is going on around you and your children. ok

This is strange, but two days ago I got a letter from Juan and he put a P.S. in it that made me wonder what he was talking about. It is strange that I got this letter now and you guys are talking about this same very subject.

This is what he said..."I also want to remind you that if you ever receive any letter from any body from around here, remember that at St. Martinville they make me leave a lot of letters from you ok. in places like this people some time steel other peoples address so let me know right away. Don't answer any letter don't matter what, only my mail, ok"

He has been in jail/prison since last July and has never said anything like this to me. Isn't enough what we have to go through with our husbands to now have to worry about our safety, our children's safety. Will this nightmare ever end?

Joy

:confused:

I spoke to Stephen and he was very angry when I told him this guy asked me to visit..He said he had showed a pic of me to some of the guys when he recieved it ( this guy being one of them) and he was always asking him to show him it again--(yuck!) He has no idea how this guy got our number, but so far I have not heard anything else from him..hopefully he got the picture!! I am just hopinghe doesnt get out anytime soon---(sorry, i know that is mean)---I am going to block any calls from this county jail so he cant contact me any longer..thanks everyone! ...creepy..creepy..creepy....

must be not only creepy but also kinda scary! just be careful and if this dude ever calls you again, tell him very clearly you can't do anything for him and that you have a man in your life, not interested in another one.

Amelia, this happens quite a bit on the inside. We had a guy stealing mail and writing other inmate's girlfriends & wives. He was nearly killed when a number of people found out about it. He was in our unit but didn't seem to mind until he was caught. I can't say how much this is frowned on but it still happens more than you would think.
Stephen should to keep his personal things to himself and pay attention to who may be trying to access it. Never give out personal information (OR CASE INFO pending trial) to others unless you know them REALLY well.
As for dealing with the problem at hand. Firmly tell him you are not interested and not to call back. Taking it a step further, you may want to give him the idea there is a man in the house. Either Stephen is out on appeal or your father / father in law, etc. Get the message to this guy that you are not home alone and don't want to hear from him again.

David

Thanks david..I just got another message form a woman asking for my address to give to him so he can write because he is lonely...I called her back and told her HELL NO! and not to call me again..she bitched meout that I was a nasty person that he was lonely and needed a friend..so I told her to be his friend..If Iget another call I am going to have my dad talk to this creepy guy! I am very sad by all this because I really want to be a friendly person and offer any help to anyone I can ..but I cannot ignore the feeling I get from this guy...I am just glad that Stephen is not in the same unit as him because he is furious! Hopefully he will get the hint....

Amelia....
DON'T feel guilty... you can be a friendly helpful person without being EVERYONE's closest buddy.... you always gotta go with your gut!!
:)

Amelia

I think you are doing the right thing. Remember you have to look out for yourself and your children. I agree when you said they you be his friend. Why doesn't he write to her. Men can be ignorant. Sounds like this woman is too.

Amelia-I have had this very same thing happen to me-I agree that you should be firm and tell him not to call back, and that your husband would not appreciate it. If he is a decent man, he will respect you for that. If he is not, it doesn't matter anyway. I know Ron had told me some inmates are very intrusive and NOSY and like to get into other people's business- some don't like to see others happy and try to create problems and get things stirred up. Regardless of the intent, just say "no" is a good policy :0

sherri

Thanks everyone!!

Your welcome honey any time.. :)

That's what we 're here for Amelia! We luv ya!!

Sherri

JUst wanted to let you all know that I haven't gotten any more calls so I assume this guy got the hint...Thanks again!

Good news!! :)

good news indeed!

I had something similar happen to me, this guy who's in the same prison as Craig wrote to me here in Australia and asked if I would start writing to him. I don't know how he got my address, but I can guess. So now I am coming over there and I'll be visiting Craig and I wanted to know, can anyone go to the visiting room or only if they have a visitor?I just ignored the letter, but I've got to say something about it gave me the creeps, tooOriginally posted by Amelia
Hey everbody I dont know if I am posting this in the proper place but....I recieved some calls yesterday from a gentleman in the local county jail. He used to be in the same "tank" with my husband..Well he was removed and Stephen was eventually transferred from that facility 3 weeks ago. I dont know how he got my number but he said he just wanted to see how stephen was doing. I told him he was moved and I also gave him a few words of encouragement. He went on tho tell me how he has no family anymore and it was nice to talk to a friendly voice. I thought that was where it would end but he called again just to talk to me ??? I again gave him a few kind words and he asked if he could call me again(he used a calling card) I explained that I was very busy with my kids and I didn't think Stephen would appreciate me talking with a strange man ...I got a creepy feeling from him...Now this morning a woman called me saying this guy had asked her husband to call me and ask if I would visit him this weekend..I told the lady that I didnt know him and she said she would send a message to him that I would not visit him because I did not know him and that my husband wouldn't appreciate me visiting strange men....Well I am kind of shocked I understand he is lonely but I dont know him from Adam...I sympathize with his situation but I have enough of my own to deal with..I also wonder what kind of person is he to ask a stranger to visit him...I am very worried because he mentioned he will be getting out probably within the next few weeks...perhaps hewill try and look me up...I do not want to alert the prison officials because he hasn't done anything wrong but give me the creeps..I told Stephen about him calling and he was very angry and wanted to know how he got our number..but I have not told him about him asking me to visit...I know I am probably over acting but I just have a funny feeling about the whole thing and wanted some advice......HELP!!!

Cobwebqueen,
They are very strict about only letting inmates into visitation that actually have someone there to see them. Where I have been they do a LOT of checking.. When your visitors leave, they make you leave the visitation room also. I have not heard of it being any other way but someone else might know of something different.

David

A long time ago, I had a friend in prison, and someone used his # to access his phone log. I got a bunch of calls. When I told my friend he took care of it.
My husband has asked me to call other guys families before and I refused.
I'm glad the calls have stopped.

Amelia, I had this happen to me after my husband left county jail and went into the DOC custody. Had 2 guys calling me after they got out of jail. I finally had to have my number changed cause 1 of them just would not take no for an answer. Needless to say, my husband was furious. I wish you good luck on this, you are doing the right thing.

Tracy

Thanks Tracy..hopefull it won't go as far as that...nice to see you by the way!! :)

Hey girl if they start calling again let me know and we will turn in around on them and scare them,, No I am just playing.. Hey you know I am not down with this type of thing so if you need some help let me know ok.. Remember we are in the same state and I have a therory.. Drive it like you stole it. :) So i could be there faster then you relize....

Hahaha! Thanks shortie-when our guys get out (or before) we need to get together!!! I think he got hte picture or maybe it is because I have a collect-call block now ???? hmmm...I hope this is over I can't deal with anymore on my plate than whatI have right now!!

COBWEQUEEN-AS FAR AS I KNOW, NO ONE CAN COME TO THE VISITING ROOM UNLESS THEY HAVE A VISITOR THERE SPECIFICALLY TO SEE THEM-SECURITY IS USUALLY VERY TIGHT SO I WOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT THE VISITING ROOM-ABOUT THE LETTER, I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT TO IGNORE IT, --

SHERRI

Amelia,
I too was always willing to help anyone that asked. Made many phone call to family members for them etc. I did a lot for one specific guy who was in the county with marco. Also kept asking to see my pictures and after a while my guy just told him NO. He keeps all his stuff locked up and never gives out my phone number. Only 2 of his friends have my address. If I ever get anything from anyone else he told me to tell him before I feel bad and help them out. Many guys are just trying to get $, phone calls made, etc. He had a picture of me in a bikini when I was like 4 or 5 years old. A few weeks after that guy stopped nagging him about the pictures it was missing. It still freaks me out when I think about it. Especially since he keeps all his pics locked up so if that guy got to them he could have taken anyone but he choose that one. He tried to get it back but couldn't find it and the guy got transfered a few days later.
I agree with everyone to be firm and tell them not to call anymore. As far as blocking calls from the county just make sure that it doesn't effect your calls from other facilities before you block it.
Hugs

Oooooh! that is even creepier Bella!! I havent heard anything in like two weeks, and he hasnt sent any messages so I think it is over...(biting my tongue and knocking on wood)...and it is a good thing because he was CREEPY!

I am glad that you have not heard anything. That is a good sign just make sure you are careful..

If it's been 2 weeks thats a good sign. I hope he got the hint!

I agree with Shortie, stay alert

OK THE CREEP IS BACK!!

I got two messages on my machine today from this guy again! ANd to make things worse he has been transffred to the unit where Stephen is (the "other" county jail) and Stephen works in the kitchen so he ran into him when he was passing out trays today...he flipped out on the guy and is looking to kick his *ss!! Forst of all I am not sure how this guy called me because I have a block for collect cals on my phone and they cant use calling cards over there ...???...I guess I am going to have to tell this guy off!! I just hope Stephen keeps his cool..guess I should have never said anything to him about all this..hindsight is always 20/20!! :(

How were you to know.. I would call the unit and say something and find out what is going on to prevent a fight between him and stephan, that is something he really does not want exspecially with court around the corner.. Just call and find out what is going on.. this guy is not able to do that. It is in violation of the county and state law, he could get in trouble in texas for stalking..

Good advice Shortie.... Amelia, is it possible he had someone else calling you on threeway??? Does your phone have caller ID?? Just a thought.... I know JD has called me on threeway before.... Make sure you let Stephan what you are doing to take care of it and tell him to keep his cool, that he DOES NOT want to make things worse for him AND you!!!!

AMELIA!!!! Looks like this week is the week of hell for everyone. I think it is a good idea to call the jail. This is definately stalking and her husband does not need to get into trouble right now. When do you get to see him next? Tell him you are handling it and he needs to stay calm. My heart goes to ya girl. Hang in there. We all need each other right now.

Joy

AMELIA:

YES, CALL THE PRISON NOW. IF HE CALLS YOU BACK, TELL HIM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN.....

REMEMBER, THERE ARE SOME INMATES WHO ARE REALLY SICK INDIVIDUALS.... 70% ARE NOT, BUT THE 30% THAT ARE YOU MUST BE CAREFUL OF.....

DON'T BE AFRAID OF HIM, JUST STOP HIM...


LOVE YA!

DONNA

Amelia,
You dont know when this guy gets out or anything REPORT him immediately to the Jail Administrator. Do not wait around to do this. Take care of yourself.

I AGREE WITH THE OTHERS. CALL PRISON ADMINSTRATION NOW. I WOULD PROBABLY REQUEST THAT HE AND YOUR HUSBAND BE PUT IN SEPERATE UNITS ALSO, TO AVOID ANY POTENTIAL PROBLEMS. GOOD LUCK-KEEP US POSTED

SHERRI

I agree with the rest....