:argh My name is Jeanette and my husband is in CMC in San Luis Obispo, CA
I am sure I am not alone in being very frustrated in the way the staff in visiting continually harasses me and my husband and others for just being in love and wanting to be together. He is very low profile and causes no problems, goes to school, takes correspondence courses, and we visit every weekend along with Thurs evenings and I go on Friday to have lunch with him on my lunch hour. I feel fortunate that i am able now to see him so often after relocating to this area to be with him more often. We have 4 years left before we can begin our life and just want to be able to spend quality time together without harrassment. Most of the officers are very nice, but there are 2 that make life miserable for many of us. We are accused of doing things we have not done and they can lie and our words don't count. I am not an inmate and hate being called a liar. Just Sunday, my husband was written up for inappropriate conduct in visiting because we were holding hands wrong.. This is ridiculous... Are other prisons having the same problems? What can we do without retaliation to our husbands.. I am so frustrated....

I can only say "It takes all kinds"!! I've run into the type you are talking about and there's really nothing you can do except complain to the visiting sargeant and have your husband write up a 602. If the guards you are talking about are doing this to other prisoners in the visiting room too, having them all write up 602's at the same time will sometimes get results. We had one in our visiting room that was just ridiculous and she was moved out due to a "group" 602. There is a Yahoo Group called VIP_Cali that might be able to give you additional advice. They deal with nothing but California prison visiting issues. Here is their home page website:

http://******************/group/VIP_Cali/

Hi Jeanette, and welcome to PTO... I cant' really give any advice on what happened to you husband, but as you can tell, there are people here that can. Once again, welcome.

Jodygirl

Hi Jeanette, Welcome to PTO.

welcome to pto, jeanette! i think there are "rogue" co's in every facility in every state...it's just one of many issues those of us who love inmates have to deal with. it is frustrating, as what happens between you and your husband has no impact on their life whatsoever. i always think those "types" were probably the biggest bullies in school, and just never grew out of it! hope you find lots of support here at pto.

Hello Jeanette!!! yes, everyone has those problems, I see Freedom anjel has already steered you in a good direction. That is what's so nice about this place. There is ALWAYS someone that can help in some way. Glad you are here.

Joy

Welcome!!!!!!:wave:

Hi Jeannette and welcome to PTO!

I can totally understand what you're going through. At one facility that John was at, I was completely harassed. One officer even stole pictures out of John's mail of me. It got so bad that I had to get a lawyer involved. In the end, they transferred John closer to home but they all talk and it followed us for quite awhile. Things are okay now and I hope that everything works out for you too.

Val

JEANNETTE- I THINK ALL PRISONS HAVE THEIR PROBLEM COS THAT JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU GRIEF "BECAUSE THEY CAN" AND FOR NO OTHER REASON. I SEE THESE MEN/WOMEN AS VERY MISERABLE HUMAN BEINGS IN THEIR OWN LIVES- THEY ARE NOT HAPPY SO THEY DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO BE, AND SOME ARE ON POWER AND CONTROL TRIPS- SOME STUFF I THINK YOU JUST HAVE TO BITE YOUR LIP AND GO ON, BUT IF HE IS GETTING WRITTEN UP FOR BOGUS STUFF, I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED--GOOD LUCK!

HI JEANETTE AND WELCOME TO PTO.THERE WAS AGUARD AT ONE CAMP THAT WOULD GIVE US PROBLEMS.JESSE SAID SHE WOULD MAKE SEXUAL COMMENTS TO HIM WHEN HE WAS BY HIMSELF.I MADE A FEW PHONE CALLS AND HE GOT TRANSFERRED.THEY ALL HAVE THEIR REASONS WHETHER MALE OR FEMALE AND THYE ALL HAVE THE INMATES THEY WANT TO BOTHER.JUST HANG IN THERE AND DO WHAT YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO DO

hi jeanette,welcome to PTO.u will find the guidenceand support u need here. every 1 is wonderful. jessica

Jeanette... I have been pretty fortunate with officers during visits... however, JD and I only have two 1-hour no-contact visits a month... so we don't even get to hold hands, much less hold them the wrong way... or kiss, much less kiss to long..... But I have seen others be policed... and you are right, it is ridiculous... a small taste of the power trip that our men have to deal with all the time.... :(

Jeanette,

Welcome to PTO. I have heard similar problems to yours at every institution I've been at in Calif. I have heard the CMC in general was a pretty good place, but I guess it's all relative, & as you say it only takes a few CO's to mess up the whole thing. The 602 can work if you get alot of them. A single 602 is pretty much useless. As for retribution for 602's I've seen it happen, not alot, but it does happen. If the CO is someone he has contact with daily he may really want to think about it. If it's not someone he has daily contact with, then he's pretty safe. I've rarely seen other CO's cause a prisoner problems for filling a 602 on another CO. They pretty much view it as it's your problem you deal with it.-----Ken

welcome to PTO. The answer is yes, it's always one thing or another on visiting day.

Thanks everyone for all the support. It really does make me feel better to know I am not going through this alone... will be in touch jeanette

Another welcome to PTO. I have dealt with the same problems and yes, They are ridiculous!!!!!

Yes, this has been such a trial for me! Some officers are just great and some are just terrible and harass you for next to nothing. They have personal issues or whatever. Believe me I have been through it with this visiting situation and now I am permanently restricted from visiting my own husband over next to nothing. I blame it on the facility that he's at, it's just a hell hole and the first thing I was told when I went to visit him after he was transferred there was "We don't get very many visitors here". I was told this by a female officer after she gave me the 'once over' look, and then said it in such a hostile manner she might as well have said 'you're really not welcome here at all'. When I went there for his parole hearing would you believe they made me sit in the lobby for SIX hours before calling me in? They had told me to be there at 8 am, but they changed it the day of the hearing and put my husband LAST on the list. So I had to sit there SIX hours, it was ridiculous! That's just one of the ways they harassed me and tried to discourage me from coming to see him. Then when nothing worked to keep me away; they just waited for me to do something wrong and when they found one little thing they could use they immediately put me on a permanent restriction. I have just lost my appeal of this, and now have sent my paperwork to the ACLU. Hopefully they can do something to help me.

Hey Jeanette!
Just wanted to let you know that I know exactly what you have gone through and I even know the two officers you referred to! hopefully, they won't be with us much longer! As always, I'm here if you need me! Congrats on your success!
Love, Steph

Welcome to PTO!

Blessings,
Tamara

Jeanette,
Well, how has things been going with you? Have you still been having to put up with bull.... on visitation day? Believe me, we all go through stuff like that.
Sherry