my wife is on a 10 year sentence. it's been 2 & 1/2 years. i am starting to loose it. my life stile and my finances are on the floor, and my wife just got denied parole. my family is all out of state. how do yall do it alone? is there any finantial help for families with wives and moms in prison?

I'm sure there is help out there for you....contact the Social Services Dept. in your town. Good luck.

wish i could give you help but i can't ,welcome though to pto,i hope someway you can have a marry christmas.

thank you yall, i'm new here, how do yall know i'm here?

welcome to PTO..you'll find alot of great help & info here. i give you soooooooooooo much credit, taking care of your lil ones all by yourself..i know how hard it is.

keep your head up & stay strong

sande

Welcome to PTO Harry... If your income is low enough you could qualify for help from Social Services. If it's not you may want to think about cutting expenses somehow and increasing income... Many of us have had to take an extra position to make ends meet without our spouse's income.... Hang in there!

Deb

I raised four kids alone without child support from their father and now I'm raising two grandchildren as a widow. I know how hard it is, but you can do it. It only seems impossible but it isn't really.

Lifestyle? What's that? I don't think mine falls into any of the popular categories. But you know what? My kids and grandkids didn't go to foster homes or get adopted away, so I consider myself to have lived a very successful life. I wouldn't trade it for any lifestyle I could name.

HOWDY Harry ... and welcome to PTO and the family ... you will find many caring and supportive folks here ... as having been a single Mom with no child support, I know how hard it is for ya ... the hardest is coming to terms with it if your are used to living a comfortable lifestyle ... that said, you learn to watch the sales, check out free sites for samples, coupons anything of value, ... only buying what's on sale takes some time getting used to but just watch the ads for the local stores and stock up so that you will have enough of stuff till it's on sale again, usually 4-6 weeks ... and start shopping for Christmas the day after ... you may not have the budget to do that this year but prepare for next yr. and buy through out the year for the standard stuff the girls will need ... you'll have lots of Moms here to give ya pointers as ya go along ... how old are the girls?

I'll have you and the girls in my thoughts and prayers,
China
ps; getting the girls to bed a little earlier each night will give you much needed "me" time!

hi Harry,
a warm welcome from the Netherlands.

thank you every body, yall are great people

Welcome Harry!

I can understand how you feel. I have a 9 year old and a 8 month old. I recently went back to work and the cost of day care especially for an infant is horrible. A friend 200 a week, my parents are gone and no family. I want to commend you for stepping up to the plate and remaining a father in your childrens lives. I am sorry things are rough, and I just wanted to welcome you to PTO and offer my support.

Hi Harry,

You have a lot in common with a friend of mine. His wife is also serving 10 years. She’s been away for almost two. They have two daughters, too. Please send me a PM (Private Message) if you want his address.

I hope things work out all right for you and your family.

Yvette

Harry it is hard, but you are a very unique and special father. Most men would not even take on this task. God Bless you. My daughters father keeps running from the law to avoid paying support.
I raised my two for many years on my own..you learn to cut corners, watch sales and so forth. I know that if your income meets guidlines you can get foodstamps and that helps. There are many churches that have daycare for cheap...the one I worked at charged 60 a week...which is fairly cheap. If I can be of any help just let me know. Again welcome...we are all here to help you and each other.

i want to thank everyone again, i usually don't use the internet a lot, but i have to admit that i am impressed with all of you. its incredible that i don't know any of you, and all of the sudden you guys are willing to help me somehow, WOW, i'm going to start signing in more often, you guys are great people who understand everything i'm going through and what i haven't gone through yet too. God bless all of you and i hope that your love ones and families and friends realize how valuable you guys truly are, and if they don't appreciate it, i do, and i just want you to know that. I have come to realize, and i'm not trying to get religious here, that God is always there for us, we are the ones that are not always there for him. Psalm 68:5 says ..God is the father of the fatherless and the [encourager, helper, guide] of the widows..... and guys, i have to tell you, it's true! he has come through for me every single time, but he has his own time, that's what you have to understand, not our time, but his time, and... his word says... seek his face every day.... i really think that some day we will be able to see his face in heaven, yes, but right now, while we are here, we need to seek his face, do his will, and especially, WE NEED TO LET OTHER SEE HIS FACE THROUGH YOUR FACES, do you know what i'm talking about? live godly lives, it's not easy, you will stumble more than living regular lives, but in the end you win, because life with god is forever, everything else is just a matter of limited time, i have a friend that just died in a car accident 3 days ago, and i know that he is going to heaven, but he didn't really live a godly live, he didn't show jesus too much, and although he is going up, his family, which are still here today, saw a lot of love, a lot of hard work, a good man, among other things, but i am worried that they didn't see too much christ! so that my friends is something to worry about because it is at moments like this where you realize that somebody once took the time to tell him about Jesus and he listened, acknowledged it, and got saved, althought didn't show it too much. today, he is in heaven, because that decision he made once, but i can honestly tell you that he is worried about never telling his family about Jesus, and the truly meaning of Christ's salvation. therefore my friends, let everybody know about what you are reading here right now, and if you don't know jesus as your personal saviors, you need to know that he came to die for your sins and everybodys, and that if you are willing, which is free $$$, to let him be the guide of your life, the one living inside of your heart, where it truly matters, he will not only save you, but he will take you to his fathers house forever, you will live forever! i personally work with Herbalife, a health and nutrition company that is well known for weight control and excellent products that help your health through nutrition of your bodies, they are excellent!, if you need more information you can write me and ask me more, but that's not the point, i'm not trying to advertise myself here, all i'm trying to say is that i can help people to extend their physical lives through nutrition, i can help you to loose weight, and i can probably even help you to add a little bit of time to your destiny, hey by the way, no guarantee on the extention of time, because you see, that's what i'm trying to say, the spirit is what really matters, RIGHT? think about it, wiout it you are dead! and with it you are here temporarily!, but with the holly spirit you live forever! how do i know? do you want to challenge me? i'm not here for challenges, i'm here to share my expiriences with yall, that's it, but i can honestly say something, some day, if you choose to not care about your spiritual relationship with jesus, i pray my friend that you will, because you won't be able to use the excuse that you didn't know or nobody told you. God is there for you, FREE, wanted or not, but only for a limited time, this is a limited time offer, take your time for the decision, but remember God is a limited time offer! thanks every one for the support and i want you to know that you guys have encouraged me to continue walking forward, i too get discouraged at times, but thank you again for everything.

Hi Harry, and welcome from a fellow Texan! Vent all you want; we're pretty good listeners around here!

Merry Christmas,
BG

Hi Harry. WELCOME TO PTO. You have come to the right place for great moral support. And I too give you credit for hanging in there for your wife and supporting your children. I know what you're going through and I definitely sympathize with you; it's not easy. But I'm confident that you will be able to pull through this even stronger than before. Yes, you may have to be a little creative with your financial situation (I'd even go so far to say that sometimes I've had to put off paying for one bill so that I could pay another bill that took priority, like, say...the RENT???) But it can be done.

We're here for you should you want to chat. My loved one has to serve an open 10 year sentance and he's already served over 5 years. Soon we'll be getting our first furlough so we're looking forward to that. And because he's doing so well in his service plan, I have hopes that he will be able to make parole in March when he goes before the parole board.

Take care and my prayers go to you and your family.

Hiya Harry. How are you? You will love this website. I have only been on for about 3 weeks and in that time I have not run across anyone who is not sympathetic with our plight. Hang on to your faith Harry. It was the first life saver for me as it will be for you.

Happy New Year and take good care of those babies.

Susan:wave:

Oh harry what a WONDERFUL Father you are to run from your girls. Many men woulda headed for the hills a LONG time ago. Just remember that we woman have done it for YEARS Men can too. It takes time, patience and understanding. I buy the groceries at places that are completely discounted. Here in Michigan it's called Sav A Lot. There's another one too. I go to the Dollar Store for my personal Hygiene needs. Name brand things there for just a buck. I only buy things that are NEEDED NOT things I "think" I need. Setting priorities is a MUST in this situation. Making sacrifices is something you will be doing for a long time now. I do "at home" family things that are fun for the children....which takes place for the things we used to go out and do. I now make my lunch for work instead of eating out....it's just too expensive to eat out. Making those small little sacrifices will help yopur finacial situation tremendously. Hang in there Harry. Many of us have made it YOU CAN TOO!!

Stacy

welcome to PTO. And good luck with your girls. It nice to see a father standing up and being there. God Bless You.

Hiya Harry!

I know I am a little late on this post! Forgive me! But have you ever asked the local church for organizations that help out financially? Or a food bank to cut down the cost of food? I know our church gives out food boxes once a month, and it is very helpful!

Good Luck God Bless & Welcome!

My wife is in raleigh nc prison and we live in new bern. I am taking care of her 11y boy and 7y girl. I myself are on house arrest so finding a regular job really sux. nobody wants to hire a con. I do odd jobs to pay the bills best i can. It is so very hard i feel like im loosing it at times...this is the first time my wife has ever been in prison. she only has to do 6 to 8 months but when your away from your family it seems like a life time. How do you tell the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and take care of that she has to stop calling to hear your voice cause you can't afford the phone bill???? I feel like a #1 loser. Good Luck to you. just keep in mind like me thoese kids come first.

Harry all we can do is push on for the next day and take care of our children. Our wifes want this. remember that. My Kerry-Anne means the world to me. I lost alot of myself when she left,cry myself to sleep everynight that I do sleep. Yeah I may be a pus but without the kids to help keep me going I wouldn't be here anymore. Cherish Your Children

I feel for you and yours. I just think you're in touch with all of your emotions. I think that's a good thing. They must be there for a reason. Be well.

My wife is in raleigh nc prison and we live in new bern. I am taking care of her 11y boy and 7y girl. I myself are on house arrest so finding a regular job really sux. nobody wants to hire a con. I do odd jobs to pay the bills best i can. It is so very hard i feel like im loosing it at times...this is the first time my wife has ever been in prison. she only has to do 6 to 8 months but when your away from your family it seems like a life time. How do you tell the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and take care of that she has to stop calling to hear your voice cause you can't afford the phone bill???? I feel like a #1 loser. Good Luck to you. just keep in mind like me thoese kids come first. I feel your pain, believe me. I have 3 children and my husband left monday to do 6 months in federal prison. Although to some it doesn't seem long, but to us (me and kids) it's forever. I miss him so much until I cry constantly. We recently bought a house. I am so worried I won't be able to pay my mortgage. All i can say is pray. That's all I can do.

Harry,

I'm there with you, but we're going to all get through this. My daughter is 5 (and my son is 11) and I didn't know the first thing about raising little girls, but I, as I'm sure you have by now, got it together. Money is a DAILY struggle, and I wish it weren't. You're not a loser. I know that, because we would all be if that were the case. I think the money is the toughest thing to deal with especially since she made more than me (but that's why she's there now).

Keep strong and feel free to holla if you can't cope.

I totally see where you are coming from. I am raising three children starting at age 13 and age 8 and have a 3month old. Glad the other two are older they help out alot. And yes it is hard but worth every minute. Just can't wait for the day for him to come home so he does not miss out on to much. Good Luck to you. Hang in there.

WOW. I NEVER REALLY SAT DOWN AND THOUGHT ABOUT WOMEN ACTUALLY BEING IN PRISON. ITS A SAD SITUATION. I PRAY THAT YOU FIND SOME TYPE OF SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

Harry,
Yes, It Is Hard, Especially With The Kids Depending Upon Us. Somedays, Things Are Fine, And I Have No Problems Being The Sole Parent. Others, When I Look At The Stack Of Unpaid Bills, The Frig Is Low On Groceries, The Kids Need Something Like Clothes, Or Shoes, The Van Is Running On The Fritz, Etc........i Want To Scream, Cry, Yell, Run Away, But Then I Look At Those 4 Loving Faces, And Know They R Depending Upon Me To Be Their Strength In All Of This, I Know I Have To Be The One To Push The Extra Mile For Them. I Am Not Saying I Don't Crawl Under The Covers At Nite, And Have My Good Cry A Lot Of Times, Cause I Do. I Also Know Though, That The Good Lord Is On My Side, And Will Get Me Through It All, In His Time, Not Mine. He Always Has For Me. Like Others, I Commend U As A Man, Cause Many Would't Even Know How To Start To Even Step Forward With The Responsibility W/ The Kids. Some Days Will Be Hard, Some Days Will Seem Easy, But There Is Nothing Compared To When Your Kids Wrap Their Arms Around You, And Tell You How Much They Love You. Even My Babies Already Do This, And When I Am Blue, It Makes The World Seem So Much Better.
Go To Your Local Department Of Social And Health Services, And They Should Have A List Of Community Services Offered Out There For Anything, And Everything.
Best Of Wishes, And You Will Make It, As We All Our Trying To Do.

:thumbsup: Hello and welcome to PTO! I just wanted to say hello, and tell you to keep your head up! My husband has been locked up for eight years. I know how stressful, lonely, sad, hard.... being the spouse of an inmate can be! You're dealing with all of that, and raising 2 kids by yourself. We don't have any kids, and it is SO hard to make it sometimes! I just wanted you to know what a great husband, and father you are! All you single parents! I admire you all very much! Jen :wave: