OK well my bf is in the dart cherry program in nc and this is his 2nd time being there and about 8th time getting in trouble with drugs. He is a heroin addict so i know its very addictive and hard. Well going in to rehab he was saying "he not changing until he's ready" and all that but now im getting letters saying that he wants to change and blah blah but ive heard it all before and how do i know if its real?? When he gets out what should i do to keep him entertained? Im just worried that everything he is sayin in there is because he's not out on the streets and he has been on heroin for so long that how can 3 months change him...and im scared that once he gets out and has NOTHING to do one night then he'll go get high....what do yall think I should do to help?

First of all, realize that there is nothing you can do to keep him clean. If he is going to stay clean, then he will. If he is going to use, he will.

I would suggest you attend an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting to learn what to do when he comes home. It will confuse you at first! But keep going until it makes sense.

JJT

He has to hit bottom and I mean a rock bottom that you know if you don't get help you will die. I put myself with the help of a friend and my husband in rehab one day after my son was released from jail. I got wasted on xanax and pain medicine on my way to New York because they would not serve me alcohol on the plane. You can fight, beg, pled, threaten to leave and when you do be ready to make the change. He has to want to change more than he wants anything else in his life and that means you, his family, old friends. Trust me when I tell you we are master liars, thieves, and always think we are on top and in control. I was 44 years old when I finally said at the lake home, drunk on crown royal, high on pain pills and xanax "I am going to die and I really don't care" guess what the Holy Spirit slapped me hard I got up walked out to the end of the pier and said Honey I need help and he said ok and I said no you need to listen to me, I drink from the time I get up untill I go to bed I take pills and I am seriously just ready to go up stairs and take all the pills I have and die. Well needless to say we cried and he held me all night long and made a call first thing in the morning and I was on a plane the following Thursday. I left Indiana to go to Tully Hill Rehab In New York, I wanted to be far away from home so I could not call someone and say get me the hell out of here. 2006 my husband and I closed our business of 16 years, took jobs working for country clubs, my son was very involved in sports wrestling and he was the top in his weight class well he lost one of the matches at semi state and he turned to drugs, cough syrup and God only knows what else he was arrested in April of 2007 and he came home in August of 2007 the next day I left for rehab and when I got home I was like oh my God this boy is so far gone and I started talking, then just not saying much and finally released him to God and ask for my son to be off drugs and he got arrested again feb 2009. We can't save them but we can support them when they get clean. Go to AA, NA, CA, open meetings, closed meetings and speaker meetings it really helped me and I was in treatment for 23 days. I was in with a horein addict and she was a beauitful young girl with a gerous little son who needs her so much but she was still saying I want it and I don't know how to just say I can beat this and as she put it she had done unthinkable things to get the drug and her son was addicted to heroin. Sad and wicked drug but maybe if you can somehow get through to him he did not ask for this diease and he can manage it one day at a time with support and asking for help. Bottom line is if he wants to be clean he will do it but if he is thinking any other way even a little then pray with all you have and turn this completely over to God and His will over the situation and don't speak about it anymore and let me know what unfolds. God works in his way and he will answer our prayers but it has to be Gods way hey look at my son he is clean and does not want to use again and he is locked up for 1 year and 18 months. I will keep this in my prayers and if you send me your email private message I will send you some prayers to pray over him oh one more thing pray for his protection always when asking God to take control of the situation, also pray for the Holy Spirit to change his heart and to keep on him till he gets it and you can call on the angels they are always ready to help all we need to do is ask. Hang in there and I will be praying for strength for you also.
God Bless
Skater's Mom