Me and my bf have been together for 3 years and out of our 3 years he has either been to prison or rehab each year. He is now in Dart Cherry bc the court made him do it. He has been an heroin addict for 5 years and before he left he would say that he isnt gonna change until he wants too and i know that and accept it but now I am getting letters saying how he is understanding things he never has before such as he loves drugs more than me (cuz i always told him that and his counselor told him that too) and that is one thing that is hard to grasp. Drug addicts are very manipulative people and i have trust issues and I hope he really loves me but what if its the drugs talking and not my bf talking?! It just hurts and another thing is, We both have addictive personailties and I started using heroin with him and i never tried it before until i met him. So I know that this relationship is toxic but the only time i use dope is when he is with me because its his idea and i just go along for the ride..pretty dumb huh. so now he is in rehab saying that he wants a new life, tired of the drug life and cant do it without me but that puts a lot of pressure on me! Its like I love him with all my heart but what if he doesnt love me and im just his"mistress" as they say and now he is depending on me to help him stay clean but I dont know if im strong enough to even put my foot down and stand up to him if he got weak. On the other hand he hasnt taken any of this stuff seriosuly before and I think he is saying he wants to change because he knows that what i want to hear. I would love to beleive him but it has been the same dissapointment for years. I'm just so confused and upset, I dont want to let go because he says things like I cant do this without you and if you left me i wouldnt know what to do and ur the only one who can help...well is this his manipulating? I would love to have ya'lls opioions.

Hello Lindzfxoxo,

I too love a recovering heroin addict. He has had an active addiction for over 30 years! He has been clean now for 3 years and I believe he will remain clean!

Yes, the hardest thing to do is to trust an addict! They are notorious liars and manipulators. So you have to make a decision for yourself. Do you think you can trust him? If you think you can trust him, then you have to just go ahead and trust him! Don't second guess yourself all the time. Just trust him. Let him be right, unless he proves himself wrong. I told my fiance that if he ever lied to me, even once, I would leave him. I'm talking major lies, not: "honey that looks really nice on you" kinda lies. Significant lies. Money missing, says he's going somewhere then goes somewhere else. You know the kind of lies that indicate he's using again. So once you make that decision, just go on with your life. You will find it takes a tremendous amount of stress off of you to make this decision. You just got to let it go and let it be in God's hands. You are not accountable for him. But you can't keep doing it over and over again. You have to set a limit of sorts. You will know what your own limit is, so set it and stick by it.

Good luck! Inspiration ~

I'm a recovering heroin addict myself.and i can speak from experience,we are very cunning people,the worlds best liars,and although good at heart it's almost impossible for us to feel anything besides despair in active addiction.i have been clean 10 months and after 15 years of being addicted i'm truly grateful that god returned my life to me.after all the lies,stealing,the disapointments i filally am learning to be the person i was meant to be.i never could have done it w/out the support of my family and friends who never gave up on me.they were right there to pick me up when i couldn't stand on my own,reminding me alway's i didn't have to keep being "sorry for it"all i had to do was do the footwork that would keep me clean and let god do the rest.please,please,please don't give up on your loved one!that doesn't mean fall for the b.s.that's no help.there are lot's of wonderful programs out there n.a.is my lifeline.