View Full Version : I procrastinate TOO much with putting together this parole packet!
12-01-2008, 02:03 PM
I've been trying to put together a parole packet for my hubby, but I've been procrastinating TOO much! The investigator is coming in January to talk to him, and I havent gotten ANYTHING that I need. His mom has someone she works with that has worked for the parole board, and she is also going to school for law, so she said she could possibly put it all together for us. I can only think of ONE person that would give him a job offer, and I havent even began to ask people to write reccomendation letters! And the one that I write, since im the one doing it, I dont even know what to say.... I feel like im starting to panic b/c I only have this month to do it all!!! Then we also gotta give that lady enough time to put it together. Im so lost...lol
12-01-2008, 02:15 PM
I haven't done one yet, and probably won't have to, but as with anything that requires a lot of time, just try to tackle it one bite at a time. Spend 30 minutes or an hour on it every day, or 30-45 mins in the morning and again in the afternoon. If you spend that time focused, it will eventually get done and hopefully not stress you out TOO bad! Start with the part of the packet that is most crucial (someone here probably knows what that is? LOL) and work your way down the list.
You can do this!!! Breathe in...breathe out... Good luck!!!
12-01-2008, 07:54 PM
Yea, I need to start practicing my breathing anyways, i got 10 weeks til my due date! haha. Usually whenever I think about it, its at a time when I cant, or when I know someone wont be home! And then when they are home, and I can do something, I dont think about it!He thinks he'll get paroled anyways, but of course there IS that chance that he wont, but I really need him home so I WANT to do this to give him a better chance....But Im gonna start trying to not procrastinate!
12-01-2008, 09:29 PM
Can you set up reminders somehow to remind yourself to work on it?? I use MS Outlook all the time for that. And if I'm at work and remember something I need to do when I get home, I email my home addy from work. And if I remember a phone call I need to make during business hours, I email myself a reminder at work. LOL It works!!!
When I went from being a stay-at-home mom to being back in the work force, I HAD to come up with stuff like that! I was so used to just looking at my calendar...it messed me up to try to keep one schedule at 2 locations (work and home) ROFL I think I've got it together now. Whew!
12-01-2008, 10:40 PM
Baby steps Bk!! You can do it girl!
12-01-2008, 10:45 PM
Well I only work from 3-7 right now so im home long enough to do stuff, i just cant ever seem to MAKE myself do it! But I DID call his friends mom earlier b/c she has her own business, and I told her that even if she gave him a job offer, he doesnt even have to actually work for her(would it work if we did it that way? Just have them SAY that he has a job with them, even if he doesnt intend to work with them?) but she said she cant because something about social security & she could get in trouble or something if she hires more people, i dont know. (She's a little on the cooky side). But she said I could talk to her son, and see if he could talk to his boss & see if he would do it. And the only other option I have is his old job at Braums. His old manager even asks about him occasionally when me or his grandma goes in there. But I dont know if he could be rehired w/ his record. And his cousin MIGHT do it b/c him & a friend of his have their own roofing business. So hopefully out of those 3, I get SOME kind of luck!!
And with the recommendation letters, I dont even know what to say when I write mine. I dont really want to say stuff like, he has a wife & kids at home that need him, bc im sure they get that all the time. It needs to be something that will stand out & really help them understand. Know what I mean? im just not good at this kind of stuff!!
12-01-2008, 10:56 PM
Anything positive you can get for him is a plus. Family letters are important, letters from friends, ministry, former employers.....and really, they don't need to be long letters, its better if they are not, remember the parole board has hundreds of these packets to go thru every month and the packets need to be in a minimum of two weeks before his first hearing.
I mailed a packet to every board member so there was a lot of copying to be done and organizing the packet, plus there is the expense of making each packet.
I have been thru this three times already and trust me, I understand the procrastination thing, but you will breathe easier once you get started.
Plus he can help too. He can write to request letters from family and friends as well, it really shouldn't all be on you. Have you asked his family to help?
Also, he needs to send you copies of all certificates that he has received while he's been inside.
Remember they want to see that he's doing well in there, that he has support out here.
Good luck, I know its stressful and I cannot imagine having to do it while in the latest stages of pregnancy. Bless your heart! You can pm me anytime with any questions.
12-02-2008, 12:03 AM
I wanna add.. don't you two have an older child?? Old enough to write in their words with the assistance of an adult of course. I knew someone who had 3 children ranging from 6 to 11 and all three of the kids wrote their own letter to the board for their Dad's parole hearing. The first time their Dad went up for parole he was denied. The following year he had another parole hearing and this time the kid's added their letter and he was approved. Not sure if it had any impact on their decision but it couldn't hurt. Good luck and take it one step at a time.
12-02-2008, 11:47 AM
Well I talk to his family more than he does right now, like his aunt, grandma, mom & sister & brother, so it wont be that big of a deal to talk to any of them. And yea, it would help a lot if HE would call someone & ask for something instead of asking me all the time if I'VE talked to them. I think he thinks this is all just so easy & I can do it without his help, but he's so wrong!! He's supposed to send me all his certificates sometime, not sure when. He's just gotta wait until I put more money on his books so he can buy a big envelope to put them in so he doesnt have to fold them. (He's on E right now! lol)
Unfortunately we dont have any children that can right theirselves. Our only daughter is almost 4. I did have the thought to write something FOR her, but Im not sure if that would work.
Anyways, im slowly getting things started! I talked to his sis last night & since we have to give their friend enough time to put this stuff together, we decided to set a date for US to be done to give her enough time, and that date is Dec 15th. SO I gotta get on the ball!! lol
12-03-2008, 11:52 AM
Ok with the pictures I can include, would it be a better idea to put in single pictures rather than a group pic? Or maybe like a pic of his brother & sister together, me & our daughter, his mom etc..? I LOVE scrapbooking so I might just make a page or 2 of pictures & make it all pretty & put some thought into it! But I just wasnt sure if group pictures would be a good idea so I thought id ask!
12-03-2008, 03:16 PM
BK- Girl you got it don't stress sounds like you are doing a great job!!! I would put a group pic!
12-04-2008, 12:23 AM
I did my husbands(ex now) I had only one page. I put his job, that he had had before he was arrested and the guy said he would hire him back. I added that he was paroling here and that is basically all. He was approved for parole with just that. He was paroled with a warrant for a parole violation in Illlinois ( Illinois will not come pick him up) and this is his 4th prison term . 1st in oklahoma but he has a 10 yr. suspended sentence in pryor along with this but his crime was not drugs or one of violence. His was fraud. Always fraud. So when I did his letter I added that his was not a violent offender. But he is still locked up , though he was paroled in July. Maybe the Governor thought since the parole board approved him with all that against him that he just would not sign the papers for a while longer .
12-06-2008, 08:51 PM
Well so far I have no job offers for him:( Most of the people Ive talked to that he's worked with before have said no b/c they cant promise they will be able to hire him once it comes time. Another one said she cant b/c something about social security & she could lose something or get in trouble or something like that if they find out she's hiring more people. Im really stuck on the job part, which sucks...And I've started writing my own recommendation letter, but im stuck b/c i dont really know what to say!! And im just gettin annoyed b/c I feel like everyone who is supposed to be helping hasnt done anything, im the one doing eveything. Well, what little ive done so far. And we've set a date, the 15, to have everything together, but I have a feeling that wont happen. Im startin to lose hope in this thing b/c we arent getting anywhere...
12-07-2008, 09:18 AM
Don't lose hope girl. I think it's a great idea to write your letter first. Just speak from your heart. You still have time.
12-07-2008, 07:40 PM
Well, I got a call from hubbbys aunt today & she said she has a letter for me for his packet, so im making a little progress! And I forgot about her telling me not too long ago that he could have a job with his cousin (her son) b/c him & a friend started their own roofing business, and he can go work with him any time. She said she also put that in her letter. Even if I dont find any other job offers, atleast ill have that one to put in it! And he said he's got about 2 more certificates he's going to get I think, and as soon as he gets them he will mail them all to me.
I also finished my letter, but Im going to go back & re-write it b/c its kinda long, and make grammar corrections & all that stuff. Should I make it handwritten or typed?
12-08-2008, 10:12 PM
That is great Bk!! Yay! If your handwriting is easy to read, that is fine. Typing is good, too.
12-10-2008, 12:44 PM
I think i'd rather just type it b/c Word has a spellcheck! haha. I found a site online that has a sample letter from an inmate to the board, and i wrote down just the subject he talks about in each paragaph, and then gave him examples of things he could write about, to kinda help him write his b/c he isnt good at all at this kinda stuff lol. And he told me last night he has all of his certificates so he's gonna mail them to me. So hopefully we get things together in time & hopefully this whole things works...
12-10-2008, 10:50 PM
I hope so, too!
12-11-2008, 05:17 PM
So I called the P&PB today to ask them about when to send the packet. She said the investigator doesn't have to look at it, just the board. So she said to mail it in between Feb 17th-March 17th. But since I dont know what day in March his hearing is yet, im gonna have it in by Feb 17th. It's such a relief to hear that since today is the 11th & we were trying to have it done by the 15th!
She also said that I don't have to send copies of his certificates & stuff like that b/c they already have them in his file, or atleast they will have them by the time his hearing gets here. The info she gave me & the info on the site she gave me that I read is kinda different than the info I've been reading!
12-13-2008, 02:27 PM
What site BK?
12-13-2008, 04:21 PM
The pardon & parole site ppb.state.ok.us . Then you click on "Board Members" & then scroll down & click on "Current Board Members" and then at the top of that page it wil have "click here for Word format" or "PDF Format" & click either one. Then it tells you about mailing things in to the board.
12-14-2008, 05:59 PM
bk.. regardless of what that lady said about not mailing in copies of his certificates i would go ahead and do it anyway. that way they have that information right in front of their eyes.
12-15-2008, 07:31 PM
Yea that's true, i didnt even think about that. Since he's already sent them to me & I have them Ill probably go ahead & put them in there! Oh yea, I got the recommendation letter from his aunt, but she wrote it in silver gel pen! Just doesnt look very professional to me! Kinda seems more like a letter someone would write in high school...And with her having been in trouble before & has had to deal with prison & stuff (not sure if it was her or her ex hubby that was in prison) but i figured she would have known to use black or blue ink, not SILVER!