Hey everyone. My baby is getting out the first week of February and I'm really nervous. He's been busted for 3 years now and he'll be out in a month and a half.Thats gonna fly by! I'm scared because for the last three years, we've been together off and on , but the whole time all my future plans and dreams have revolved around him. We have and well, really I have created this fantasy dream world in my head of how things will be, and in all honesty, our life together is what I've been looking forward to for the past 3 years. Now he'll be out and if things go wrong, I won't have anything to look foward to anymore.I'll feel really lost.I'm afraid I'm in for some serious dissapointment.I do believe in him, but I have my doubts too.What if he really can't change?
I'm scared. I don't know how much to help him, what to do what to let him do on his own.Someone please give me some good advise on how to deal when he gets out.I've already decided not to live with him, but beside that I have no gameplan. Help! PLEASE!:confused:

i kinda understand where you at ...my b/f and i have been on and off for last 2 yrs ...was apart before he got put back in ...but i do love him so ...and he gets out jan 28 ...and im really nervious whether eveything i have waited and he has said is true ...all i can say is we have tried ..and thats all we can do if wasnt meant to be when he gets out then somhow we get the strength to move on in our lives ..i wish you the best of luck

You have a choice..Either give it your all, or nothing at all. If you want to look to your future with this man you have to put yesterday behind you and leave it there. The bible say's that we hold the power of Life and death in our tounge. speak life into your relationship. and know only God has the answer for you...
Jimmyzgrl

Don't be looking for trouble, so to speak when he comes home that is the fastest way to bring it to your doorstep.

You have no way of knowing what is going to happen as jimmyzgrl said "only God has the answer for you".

When I came home, Linda and my family were there for me, they offered support, advice, and when needed comfort.

But, as my Dad so aptly put it "Patricia screwed up her life, she is the one who is ultimately responsible for getting it back on track".

Yes, you care for him and love him and have the dreams of the last three years, but it is on his shoulders to make his life work. Be there for support and guidance, and again to quote jimmyzgrl, you have to give it all, or nothing, so does he.

The last three years are done and over, now you two have to make a life with each other or not.

There are hard times, both of you have to pull your weight and support each other 110% to reach the good times.

Patti

Thanks you guys. I really appreciate your feedback and good luck to you too Angie. I guess all we can do is our part, and hope for the best-that they do thiers. I really do love my Babe
and I pray to God that he really does change his life. I just can't be with him if hes not serious.I've come to far in my life. If he doesnt then I'll just have to move on. That's what I'm afraid of though. Well, we'll see wont we! here's countin-54 days! And hopin as always.

Hey Melissa,

Girl I know what you are going through, we are so much alike. My hunny gets out Feb 3rd and I'm as nervous as you are. We too have been talking off and on for four years. We were dating for a year before he got locked up then we lost touch after that. I just happened to find out where he was on the inmate locator.

The only thing you can do right now is to have faith in your relationship and just pray that things go well. Things will be different once he's out. He may have to get his head together once he gets out because times will be hard for him. The system has no sympathy for ex-inmates. That's how I'm trying to handle it. He wants to move in with me when he gets out but I told him that I wasn't ready. I certainely don't want to be with a moocher. If you want to talk please don't hesitate to send me a PM! I'm not on here much but I will respond eventually. Have a great New Year!

Relationship are the hardest job we will ever have, But with the way you love your man girl give it your all,no looking back to the past. The day he comes home gives you both a new start. Work with that. Good Luck and God Bless.

I'm kind of going through the same thing as you, so I understand. I'm going to pick my baby up on Jan 18th...and I'm sooo nervous. Sure there are thoughts like, "Will we eventually fall apart?" and "What if I lose him?". My advice for you is the same advice I'm giving myself...just go with your heart. At least that way if something does go wrong and you end the relationship, at least you will never have to look back and thing, "what if I had given it my all?" The best of luck to you, though. Never stop believing that anything can happen! God bless.

Hey orange ladybug i truly agree with what your saying ... can always say you tried on what your heart feels that what im doing to

Hey thanks girls for your replys..Turns out hes not getting out untill March 04th. Now I'm kind of mad. Either he doesnt know or he's lying to me. I got a letter from him reminding me to hurry & send his parole clothes cause hes getting out feb 4th. Well I called the prison just to confirm the date because i'm picking him up and so have to take off work and they told me no, he gets out March 4th! I'm so frustrated. I've been waiting for 3 years so whats another month right? Well I was so excited that he would be here for Valentines Day, and maybe I'm just being selfish but my heart was so set on being with him sooner. Turns out he's in the hole right now for something " HE DIDN'T DO" (sure) and thats why he has another month.Its like, what is he sub consiously sabotaging himself, Screwing it up cause hes scared...or maybe hes telling the truth. I dont know maybe im over analyzing. It just makes me wonder if hes even changed. Its always him against the world ya know, a big conspiracy against him, thats why hes always getting in trouble while the rest of the world live moderately normal lives and stay OUT of jail. Its a big cop out & a lot of bullshit that I dont want to deal with. I just don't want to deal with shit like this when he gets out. I wont. Ok well im pissed and tired, maybe i;ll feel better in the morning...Sorry, had to vent! Well let me know if you think im over reacting.

My boyfriend comes home on Feb 12, 2004...and obviously, I am off the wall nervous. I just really have no idea what will happen, how he will react to being back in the world after being locked up for two years...I don't have many people to talk to about this. He's currently in work release; thank god! So he has a bit of intro back into society that way. He's definitely changed. I've been to see him numerous times last year and prison certainly has matured him. I'm hoping this is all for the good. He went in with stupid charges, non violent. never had any problems with the law before and again, I'm hoping he's learned from this basically short incarceration that life is so much more valuable than just living it up/partying till you get caught...I didn't go to prison but have felt like it many times during this waiting period. I'm happy but scared. I know I can't "make him stay out of trouble" but have no idea how to cope at this time.