I have not been in PTO for a long, long time. So, I am going to reintroduce myself.

I am Frisco"s Girl, FriscoLady's partner, Linda.

Patti and I have been talking about this for awhile, we want to do some posts on our experiences with the justice system. Not from a legal point of view, but from a personal point of view. Since Patti and I are partners this experince has affected us both as individuals and as a couple.

I want you to know that this is a colaboration between the two of us, so you will have a mixture of our thoughts.

I will tell you this now that I am writing my thoughts by hand, or dictating to my sweetheart, she is doing the typing, we are not worried about grammer or punctuation, just our thoughts, emotions, and fears over the last three years.

I want to start with two things, three actually, I want to start by describing Patti as I see her, not as you see her through her words. She may do the same for me. The third thing will be done by the PTO wiz, (at least, in our family) Patti, she will attach a post that I made along time ago, to this thread.

Patti is, the love of my life, but she is no saint.

She is smart, intelligent, funny, loving, and kind. But, she can be impatient, bitter, angry, and hateful (especially to the system) and very, very defiant to authority.

This has always amazed me the contradictions in her outlook on things. She is downright in love with the military, and anything to do with the men and women that are members of our military. She served honorably for 20 years herself, and retired from the military.

But, she dispises the authority over the military and the "bull sh*t" (her words) games that the politicians play with the lives of the military men and women.

That is her contradiction, she serves with distinction, but cannot stomach those whom she serves. More like her father than she thought.

She has absolutely, no respect for either the police, or the justice system or for how the laws are enforced. That was the case even before her troubles with the law.

Strongly believes in civil disobedience when there is injustice. Would not vote if she could, because she says that she is showing her disgust with our current leadership, both local, state, and national.

Her heroes are men and women who will not bow down to authority for authorities sake. The Founding Fathers, especially, Thomas Jefferson, also William Wallace, Martin Luther, though she remains a Catholic. Absolutely idolizes men and women who saw wrong in the actions of their countries leadership and did something about it.

I'm not sure how she can justify theses opposites in point of view, but some how in her mind, she can, and it works for her.

She strongly, supports and preaches the reintergration of ex-felons into our society, yet says that because the felon has been in most cases permenantly stripped of their rights within this society, that they are essentially "Men and Women without a Country" and have absolutely no obligations to the society or it's rulers, until those rights are restored.

What has kept her in line after her conviction has been her familly and her love for them, she never wants to leave them again.

This is the woman whom I love, there is much, much more to her than what I have said here, but I feel that I have to set the stage as to how and why she got in trouble.

There is another side of Patti that I mentioned before the protective loving mother who to this day feels that she did what was her God given right to defend her daughter on the morning of her arrest.

That is where we truly begin our story.

Linda

I originally posted this in an earlier thread. I would normally not do this, but with some modifications I am reposting it to give you a better time line of events.

"We had been pulled for a traffic violation, I was driving, deserved the ticket, but that is neither here nor there. Things went to hell in a hand basket after that. Frisco's daughter was in the back seat and in the course of events, her daughter opened her mouth and said something rather foul. Yes, this was uncalled for and believe me if given the chance Frisco would have dealt with her and there would have been an apology. The constabulary ordered her out of the car, instead of addressing the situation with either Frisco or I.

Frisco's daughter is terrified of men, she was sexually molested and beaten often by her male parent when Frisco was at sea. I won't call him a father or a man. She does not allow men close to her, so she slide into the center of the seat out of fear.

Then came mistake number one, again instead of dealing with it through either Frisco or I, Mr. Macho reached in to grab her daughter, she started screaming to no end, when she was touched!

I tried to get them all to calm down, mistake two, I should of had a hold of Frisco.

That was all she wrote for Frisco - out of the car she went - down on the ground went Mr. Macho. Frisco being retired military had the training needed to best her opponent, who was a rookie, and she did. The only thing that stopped her was Mr. Macho's partner who got the best of Frisco. We were lucky that is all that she did.

Thank God, I did not clear the car, for I was too busy with Frisco's daughter. For in the end that night her daughter and I went home, Frisco of course did not until the next Monday afternoon when we managed to post bail.

In the long run she was convicted, but, we have been fortunate to find what we needed for the appeals and we have been assured that we will win. We pray for it anyway.

Frisco is very, very protective of her daughter because of both the sexual abuse to her and the physical abuse her ex subjected both of them too. Plus as she has said often, because of her niece, she was of the mind set that her daughter or any other family member was never going to be subjected to what she then considered the true criminals.

Both Frisco and her daughter have since gone through extensive therapy and it has helped tremendously, Frisco is becoming the person I remember and fell in love with. I do believe she will be allowed to remain at home with her family - no matter how hard the state tries to send her back, that is the only hope I can hold on to."

Between now and that morning alot has happened, now Patti and I will tell our story.

Linda

Hi Linda ... It is good to see you back posting again ...

Hey, this is an excellent idea the two of you have ... I look forward to reading future posts in this series ...

Just wanted to say I am enjoying your story immensely. You can see the love you have for each other through your words. They are spoken out of love and respect, kindness and caring.
Glad to have you back posting.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

As you can see it has been along time since anyone has posted on this thread. That is because, Linda and I were unable to deal with the emotions, heartache, and pain remembering the events that brought us to this point in life.

We am going to try again, neither one of us are promising anything, even reading what Linda posted here is painful to me, however, it is important to Linda and I - that maybe, just maybe, by telling our story, that we will be able to help others lighten the burdens they carry during their journey through our justice system.

Linda:

I can only describe her as the love of my life. She is my beacon, my safe harbor in the storm of life, she saved my life.

First, during my battle with cancer, then throughout the ordeal that has been our lives of late.

She is strong, calm, nothing angers her, well, I have only seen her truly angry once, and that was at me. That was the morning our nightmare began.

Nothing upsets Linda, she is calm, cool, collect, she can deal with everything that life throws at her with grace, strength, and the power of courage that I have not seen often.

I had about given in to the cancer, when Linda and her husband Jerry came into my life, I had made the necessary arrangements for the care of my daughter, in the event of my passing.

At that time Jerry was also valiantly struggling against cancer for his life, a struggle he eventually lost.

Linda is the reason why I am here, her eternal optimism, joy of life, humor, and just plain never give up attitude is what kept Jerry alive and in the fight for as long as he was, and was what saved my life.

She is the complete opposite to me, politics do not interest her at all, and she tolerates my passion for politics and history. She believes in quiet protest when she sees a wrong committed by an individual or a government.

It was this attitude of Linda's that began the quiet battle that saved my life a second time, the attitude that eventually brought me home.....

Patti

As you can see it has been along time since anyone has posted on this thread. That is because, Linda and I were unable to deal with the emotions, heartache, and pain remembering the events that brought us to this point in life.

We am going to try again, neither one of us are promising anything, even reading what Linda posted here is painful to me, however, it is important to Linda and I - that maybe, just maybe, by telling our story, that we will be able to help others lighten the burdens they carry during their journey through our justice system.

Linda:

I can only describe her as the love of my life. She is my beacon, my safe harbor in the storm of life, she saved my life.

First, during my battle with cancer, then throughout the ordeal that has been our lives of late.

She is strong, calm, nothing angers her, well, I have only seen her truly angry once, and that was at me. That was the morning our nightmare began.

Nothing upsets Linda, she is calm, cool, collect, she can deal with everything that life throws at her with grace, strength, and the power of courage that I have not seen often.

I had about given in to the cancer, when Linda and her husband Jerry came into my life, I had made the necessary arangements for the care of my daughter, in the event of my passing.

At that time Jerry was also valiantly struggling against cancer for his life, a struggle he eventually lost.

Linda is the reason why I am here, her eternal optimism, joy of life, humor, and just plain never give up attitude is what kept Jerry alive and in the fight for as long as he was, and was what saved my life.

She is the complete opposite to me, politics do not interest her at, and she tolerates my passion for politics and history. She believes in quiet protest when she sees a wrong committed by an individual or a government.

It was this attitude of Linda's that began the quiet battle that saved my life a second time, the attitude that eventually brought me home.....

Patti

I do hope you will continue with your beautiful tribute to the love of your life in this post.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

You two should consider writing a book together...I'm desperately looking for the next chapter :) Totally captivating! I wish you all the best. Stay strong & God Bless.

It's good to see you two posting on the board again. I am looking forward to reading more. Take your time..there is no rushing here...just the support and love you need, when you need it.

Hugs
Michelle

Patty,

My heart, love goes out to you both. :( I have misssed you

(((((((((((Linda and Patti)))))))))

You are both an inspiration to us all....can't wait to read more.

Patti and linda;

Someone told me when you have a story to be told you should put in words. You two have a history together. What a great story to be told. Keep on writing it's good for the soul. You may think of writing a book. I would by one..Love is so warning. The best part of your love is you are soul mates. That is the greatest love of all. Keep on writing ladies......huggs and much love and respect.....minnie:cool:

Thank you all!

Linda and I have decided to go on with this thread, it is hard, I cry alot, she cries alot. Though we have gone on with our lives, with the help of all the wonderful people at PTO, we feel we need to put this in words, then close this chapter of our lives.

Will we leave PTO, NEVER!! Linda and I have a passionate need to give to others what was given to us. Love, respect, a shoulder when we needed it, and most of all friendship and understanding.

Though Linda is still very much involved in the prison/prison support community, her path has taken her down a different road than PTO, though she still swings by from time to time. Me, I will be here, and helping as much as I can, for as long as I am needed, we love you guys at PTO, YOU ARE WONDERFUL, AND SUCH AN INSPIRATION TO US!

We are working on our story now, it may be a book, but I doubt it, I want to share it with my friends here, after all you are part of our family.

Love to all,
Patti

From here on in Linda and I with some input from my daughter Sara will tell our story together.

Linda:

Patti as usual was late again that morning, she, as long as I have known her has never been on time for anything. She

putters around the house and takes her time on everything even getting Sara ready for school.

Patti:

Linda is so funny, before that day she would look at me crosseyed and say something to the order of: Patricia Dawn don't you

think we should be going? I would say, no, I want to stay home and relax, this was and is a daily routine, always will be

with us I guess.

Sara was her usual moppy self on a school day, but you know teenage girls and school - unless there is someone special waiting to

flirt with them, they ain't moving fast to get to school!

So we started out late as usual, and everything was fine, until Linda followed that Corvette though the redlight.

All this trouble because of my puttering around the house, my daily routine.

After the car stop, everything is a blur, I remember the officer yelling at me and then at Sara, then I remember thinking:

What the H@ll is he doing! Why is he going after Sara. I don't remember anything much after that, except lying face down on

the ground, cuffed and that B@stard bleeding next to me and his partner reading me my rights. I have no recollection of what

I did, no memory whatsover. All I know is that I was being arrested, that is when the adrenalin faded and the fear hit me!

Linda:

I could not believe what had just happened my baby, she is on the ground with a couple of cops screaming at her, Sara is

sobbing in my arms. Patti went out the door, Sara scrambled through the other side door or the window, I don't know. It was

all over in a minute and our lives changed forever!

After that is when I cannot remember, I remember talking to the cops, and trying to calm Sara down, I have vague

recollections of the next few hours, till I got home and called Patti's Dad.

The hardest call I have ever made! "Mr. F..... we need to talk......"

Patti's Dad and Mom were calm while I explained that she was in jail and what she had been charged with. Then her Mom went

ballistic!

Patti:

Oh, D@mn, Oh D@mn, what have I done, that is all I could think that Friday morning!

Oh, D@mn, Oh D@mn, what have I done, was all I could think until court that next Monday morning.....



Linda and I worked on this today, it is ironic what we remember, and don't and how we remember it. There is alot we left out because we had too, names, for example, and somethings, we care not to talk about.


Patti and Linda

I am enjoying hearing about your journey. Just can hardly wait for the next sequel.

Hope you dont keep us waiting too long.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

I Ditto that Babygirl350...(((Patti & Linda))) keep it coming... And thank you ladies :)

Wow what a event that was! I know that feeling how your whole world can turn upside down in a second and that ugly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. I am glad your daughter is doing better. Stupid cop :blah:- we will die for are kids-he acted as if she pulled a gun on him or something!

I have just now read this, strange because I consider Patti my dearest friend. It just simply did not ever matter to me why she went to prison.

She is the person I call when I am happy, sad, or just plain crabby. (right, Patti?) She has listened to me vent numerous times. In short, she has always been there ever since I have gotten to know her.

I do not know an angry person. I know a person who is very angry at the system, rightly so. I know a person who is very passionate in her beliefs and she never backs down from that. I know a person of great and wonderful character who has survived more than most ever could.

I always tell her she is so much better with words than I, so much more level-headed. I am so glad I finally read the words that she and Linda wrote here.

Patti, you deserve all the best in life, along with the partner that you love so very much. Once again, I am proud to call you "friend."

Good Bye - there is always something sad about those two words. Such, a permanent thing to say Good Bye, we learn to say those two words at a very early age.

Good Bye, Mommy see you after school, Good bye, my love, see you tonight…………….Good Bye my love, I’ll be home in six years.………..

Linda and I decided to skip to the last day before my sentencing - the day we said our Good Byes. We will probably stop here. This is still so hard to deal with.

That day was a long, hard, heart wrenching Good Bye.

The day was December 19th, my Mother’s Birthday, six days before Christmas, and we were celebrating Chanukah. For everyone else - a happy time, a joyous time of year - for us, a time of fear, sadness, and parting.

Most of this is taken from my diary the day before I was sentenced and was gone.

Even now, I cry and I hurt with the pain that I know I caused my family and friends, so if this seems disjointed, it is, I was afraid, and just trying to hold on to the last few hours before I knew I would be away from those I love.

December 19:

Good Bye - Patti

Linda and I started the morning early - 4 a.m. A habit we had started the day in November that I had been found guilty - we needed time, as much time as we could get with each other, time to hold each other, time to cry, time to be one with each other, time to learn to be one, but apart.

I woke to Linda's eyes, looking, watching, trying to remember for the times ahead.

December 19th was a very busy day, and a very private day. My parents, and my children, Linda's children had all come together - to try to celebrate - but mostly for all of us to hold onto each other, as long as we could.

We got up that morning and decided to spend as much time on the beach as possible, but when we came down stairs my daughter Judy was already up and ready to go with us.

We have always been close Judy, Linda and I. So we all went and talked about happy times, talked about the birth of our Grandchildren, my beating cancer, the holidays of the past that were so wonderful, the year before when my Christmas gift was my victory over cancer!

We watched the sunrise, and the three of us hung on tight and sobbed.

My Mom and Dad were always so strong, they had been married since 1932, so much in love with each other and their family, so strong. Mom and Dad kept the day going and as happy and bright as possible, under the circumstances.

We celebrated Mom's Birthday first, then Chanukah with Judy, her Husband Marc, and my Grandchildren, and Christmas all roled into one! What a glorious day!

What a sad day.

We kept up the front for the Grandchildren singing, laughing and we were happy, for we were and are a family that is close and strong. I kept thinking that day, that these are the people that will be with me through this nightmare.

I love my parents with all my heart, they have stood with me and my sister's through thick and thin, but my heart tore everytime I caught Daddy glancing at me with his sad and hurt eyes and the false smile he wore for his Great Grandchidren.

I died when I saw the single tear in his eyes when he kissed me good night that evening.

I am such a disapointment to him, yet he told me how proud he was of me, how I am facing this, and standing up for what I did, despite the consequences. If he only knew how scared I am and how much I want him to make it go away - like he magically could when I was little.

Mom, so stoic, been through so much, now I do this to her, God!

Linda, all I can say is I Love You, Thank You for your unconditional love - my partner, my friend.

We had a glorious celebration that day, then I cried myself to sleep in Linda's arms that evening.

December 20:

Sentencing - Patti

Have you ever been so afraid that you cannot focus, cannot think or reason, nothing responds to logic or emotion. That was December 20th.

I don't think that I was this afraid when the Doctor told me I had cancer, for I had something to fight, I had an enemy that I could resist, overwelm, and defeat. I did.

This was so much different, I had my battle in court, and I had lost - sentencing was for me the acceptance of defeat.

Guilty, I remember wondering what the hell was I guilty of - defending my family, myself.

We were the first and only hearing that day, 9:00 a.m., December 20th, our lives changed. The whole morning is blur, the only thing I can remember are the words from the Judge.

"You are to be placed in the custody of the Department of Corrections for the period of six years."

and I am not even sure of that, all I can be sure of hearing, is "six years" almost if they were screamed at me down a long, dark tunnel. Six years!

I vaguely remember Linda or someone, reaching from behind to steady me. Then I remember being led away, out of the courtroom. The rest is a memory that I care not to remember.

I want my life back, I want my happiness back..........

Linda will be adding her thoughts soon.

Patti

Thanks for sharing this part of your lives together. What a truely beautiful, and yet very sad day.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

Patti, I felt as if I were right there at that moment in time with your family. Words can't express how sad that made me feel. Tears are just streaming down with emotions I'm unable to express. I know you're home & safe now...but this true story is powerful and anyone who sees and/or hears it, can't help but be captivated. Again, thank you, Ladies, for sharing with all of us.

MsChiku - I ditto that, felt just like I was right there with them. What a beautiful and yet sad story. Hope everyone will get a chance to read it in its entirety.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it spings life eternal.

Frisco's I truly admire the love you have for each other and I loved hearing your story tragic as it is. I hope you will continue to write.

I ditto that. The two of you seem to have a very special bond and love for each other. It is very refreshing to see it.
Do keep writing as I am sure you have so much to share with us.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

This really hurts, writing this then reading it to Patti while she types, reliving those days, the pain. Then again most of you know the pain. Once this is on PTO or paper, I for one will never look at it again. I don't know how Patti can handle it, for I dictate my entries to her and she is typing this, then I post it here.

She is seeing what this did not only to her but also to her family. I catch her with tears in her eyes at times.

I am not blaming her, it just happened.

December 20 - 21

Sentencing - Linda

"Patti sobbed herself to sleep last night -- she is so afraid"

"Hours that is all we have to be together now....."

First notation from my Journal dated December 20th.

She cried until she was exhausted, and the sleeping pill I had slipped her took effect. That is all I could think about, she had to be able to forget the next day and get some rest before her sentencing.

December 19th was so hard on her. She tried to put up a front, but could not do it. After we lite the Menorah for her daughter Judy and Rhiannon (Granddaughter), Patti, her Mom and Judy disappeared. I found them in our bedroom. Judy and Patti's Mom holding her tight and trying to take away the pain, trying to hold on.

December 20th started out bright and with the promise of a pretty day, but we knew the promise was not to be. Patti and I hit the beach again, one last time.....one last moment together. One last time.

Her parents took us out for breakfast that morning. It was hard to deal with, no one spoke, no one could. We held hands under the table, that is all we needed.

Then it came time to leave - down to moments together now......

The city complex where to courthouse is, is about 15 minutes from the all nighter we ate breakfast at that morning.

Patti had been quiet all morning and we both were really clinggy to each other, this was our last morning together for awhile. Gone was our false pretense that we were two middle aged single women who lived together for company and finances, a pretense that we had felt so important to keep up to protect ourselves.

We held hands, and in the car to the court she pulled me close to her trying to .... I don't know ....trying.....

When we pulled into the car park at the courthouse, Patti started crying, it took her Mom and I minutes to calm her as much as we could. She said that it was important to her that no one saw her cry that she had to show that she was strong.....she needed to cry.

Minutes together now, and I was counting every second of them.....

They called her case at exactly 9 am, we were numb, I don't know how much she was really taking in. We all hugged, her Mom handed Patti her Grandmother's Rosary, and her Father took her arm and I her hand and we went in to the courtroom......

When the Judge told her her sentence her Father had to reach up to hold her, he had some how managed to get in behind her.....then she was gone.

December 21 - Linda

I woke up that morning, rolled over and went to put my arm around Patti. She was not there, I thought she woke and was fixing coffee, for I could smell it.....then it hit me and all I could do was cry. Patti's Father heard me from the Hallway and knocked came in and held me and we cried together.

It is strange how life goes on....someone you love dies, or moves, or goes to prison........and you still have to get up and go through the motions.

I stepped out on the beach - just 30 yards from our home - that Patti and I had walked every morning since we joined. The porpoise, her favorite animal were feeding, the Falcon that we say Hi too every morning flew over, the waves gently lapped at the sand........nothing had changed since the morning before - except my love was not with me that morning and my heart was breaking.

Linda

Although I didn't have to go through the pain you all did, I have been through my own pain and I feel for you.
I could feel your pain as I was reading this and I want to THANK YOU both for sharing it with us.
It just shows what strength that you all had to get you through this.
You are two truely great women who have overcome alot of obstacles.
In alot of ways it helps those who read it because it shows that it can be done and also in an unknown way to me anyway, shows we can and do have the strength to weather any storm when we have to.
Again, THANK YOU both for sharing, this is truely a remarkable story.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

I'm sorry but I don't know you ladies and I just want to clarify.....this story is written now....6 years (or whatever) later and your back home now?

Wow....I am intrigued. I still have 8 years to wait for the love of my life. Linda did it seem like forever....or did time still somewhat fly like it does usually?

I look forward to the chapter of when you were reunited...thats the day I live for with my baby. Well we wouldn't be reunited but just united....he has been in since he was 14 years old....a real injustice....didn't even have a weapon. But I will still be here for him no matter what....forever!

Thanks

Thank you both for continuing this thread! ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

wow that's i'm just at a lost for words that love that you too share just reaches out at you. wow that's such sad but great story the writing is Excellent!!! may yall be blessed and good luck in all that yall may do

The road to prison: Patti

This was not funny when it happened but, Linda has urged me to include this.

You know, you can find humor in any situation, no matter how grim, and you can hang on to that humor as a beacon - a beacon of hope that there is humanity in this life - even in the worst of times.

After my sentencing I was removed from the courtroom and taken to a holding cell then moved to the jail.

When they did the initial search they were very thorough, with one exception.

Well, most of you know that I have had cancer and in the course of the treatment I had lost all my hair, well very little has come back and what has is very patchy and thin. Therefore, I have worn wigs for years. I even tried Hair for Men - and now women did that after prison though, and I was not pleased - oh well.

Anyway, after I had been found Guilty that November, I did not know anything about prisons, except from dumb movies. I had not a clue as to what to expect.

However, I knew just enough to know that I was not going to be wearing a wig. So, I decided to shave my head of what little hair I had and if I could I was going to keep it that way during my time in prison.

But I was not going into that courtroom for sentencing - bald!! Under any circumstance!

So Linda and I went out and bought the best wig we could find, human hair, almost the color of my own hair, top of the line. Could hardly tell what it was.

Well, for some reason during my initial search, the Deputy missed that I had a wig on. Don't know why, unless she was new, and I think she was from what happened next. Can't figure out why the other Deputy missed it.

Went through the search, got done, and those of you who really know me, know that I have a mouth, and I really don't know how to shut up and when I am really scared, as I was then, I don't shut up and I get very, ah shall we say, sarcastic, which can be very detrimental to me at times. In this case, it was.

Anyway Ms. Mouth (who me? Nah!) came right out as said: "Hey, I think you missed something! She thought I was getting smart (I was, which was not smart on my part), she said "yeah what" in that wonderful nasty tone of voice that anyone else but me would take as a sign to shut their mouth!

Well, smarty me got off to real great start when I said "May I show you?" She said (her mistake, still can't figure out why she let me do this!) "Go ahead", so I did.

I reached up very slowly with my left hand and pulled the wig off. You should have seen her face! Pure shock and a bit of embarrassment I think!

That was what I now consider the funny part.

Of course, their reaction was not that funny either then or now. I can personally tell you that it hurts when they take you down! D@mn, does it hurt!

Comment from Linda:

Only Patti!

Somewhere on the board there is a thread about things not to say when reporting, I definitely advise against this!

We are going to be doing our last two posts in this thread in the next week or two. Both of them will be from both us: "Prison and a glimmer of hope", and last "Home".

Patti and Linda

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I guess she was new if she didnt see the wig, either that or it was such a good one, it didnt show.
I along with many others will be looking forward to seeing your continuation of your story.
You are an inspiration to us all.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

She was just as scared as I was, I think. She did not look as closely as others did, in my experience with DOC. Just that she does not get mouthy when she is afraid, I do. Big mistake.

I don't deal well with authority, odd trait for someone who spent most of their working life in the military.

Patti

Ok, I totally have tears running down my face now! I just read this thread for the first time for some reason. Thank you for sharing and all my best to you. Thanks for all the help Patti! Ginger

Thank you for sharing your passion, your courage, your strength, your LIVES!!! We are all the better for having both the honor and priviledge of sharing a glimpse into your story ... Yes, Keep on Keeping on ... And when you can write some more -- Do so ... because your story is valid, it is important and yes, I am confident it has and will save lives ... Bless you both!!! Gratitude to you both as your story is immeasurable to so many!!

I am new to PTO and just read your story. It made me cry for the pain that you wonderful women went through but the strength of your love is so obvious that as sad as your tale is it also inspired in me a huge feeling of hope. You are both obviously very special people. Thank you for being brrave enough to share with us what hurt you so much.

I also cryed...this is a sad sorry...it has compelled me to write mine...to continue this the life of this thread...

It was 24 years ago and I was 17 I became pregnate and gave birth to very beautiful little boy.
I married his father in April 1981 and had all three of my children by the age of 21.
It was very difficult being a young mom of three. I gave up my nursing career to stay home and raise my children. We lived in poverty which was nothing unusal to me as I never missed what I never had.....

It was when my son started school that my nightmare began...there was something wrong ...he wasn't learning as he should be.
To shorten this up alittle ... by the time he was in 6th grade he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.......MY LIFE AS I KNEW IT ENDED THAT DAY.

When we (my son 13years olds and I..his father has had nothing to do with any of it ever..I was so alone...with no help...no suporrt.. no nothing...no-one understood) were at the psychiatrists office and the Diagnosis was handed down...I asked a simple question...which changed my life forever...
What is the prognosis?...in other words his future.
The reply was...We can only hope to keep him out of the institutions for as long as we can.
Knowing absolutley NOTHING about the diagnoses I threw myself into reading and learning everything I could...to help teach my family and keep it a family for as long as I could. Feeling that deep down in my heart I was doing the right thing....It became such an obsession that I did not see what it was doing to my other 2 children...

It wasn't until my daughter at the age of thirteen tried to commit suicide that I knew things had to change DRASTICALLY....

I was setting in the ER with my daughter...my beautiful daughter. IV's..An NG tube down her little nose into her stomach...she was crying ..I was crying.
I had no idea WHY! WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS?

I said "Trish PLEASE TELL ME ? I will believe you...what is going on?

I have to quit for now I can not see thru my tears

I am new to PTO, and I had no plans to post. I am a student who is interested in criminal justice reform, but have had no experiences with the system myself, so I expected to lurk without saying anything. This story, however, has moved me to post.

Patti, seeing your posts caught my attention because I, too, love San Francisco very much. (I am actually moving there in two months, and it can't come soon enough.) I was born and raised in Virginia. Also, I am gay.

I saw that you'd mentioned in another thread that your story was posted here, and I came looking for it. Having read through your partner's words and your own, I feel so deeply touched. I feel so sorry that you had to undergo such a difficult life experience, but I am thankful that it has ended. Thank you for sharing your story, and best wishes.

sotp2003

Thank You so much, and think of me when you are in the Marina District of San Francisco, for that is where the home I grew up in is.

Unfortunately, Linda's and my journey has not ended. I am still on paper until 2008 and because of my own stupidity, no, my strong beliefs and convictions there is a possibility that I will be going back to prison or if I am lucky the conditions of probation will be more stringent, that is bad enough, but we won't know until the hearing in front of the Judge on April 19th.

Life is so strange, you pick a direction and you set out on your journey, but that is never where you end up. Who knows where our journeys lead us, I never thought that I would end up here, or have gone through the prison system. But it happened.

Someday, I will be home, until then think of me when you walk the beloved streets of my hometown or when you are in Golden Gate Park. If you get a chance eat a meal at Cliff House on the Coast road, or just drive the coast road north towards Pt. Reyes at midnight with the fog or a setting moon. So, so beautiful!

Welcome to my hometown, may the heart and soul of my beloved San Francisco embrace you as it has me.

Patti

If by chance I make it home before you I will do all that and even put a coin in the nickelodeon beneath our beloved Cliff House, oh the seals they do wail...

All my love to you and Linda,
Patty

Patty,

The wail of the seals! Oh how I miss their sound! :cry:

Thank You, with all our love,

Patti

wow where is the rest ??

hugs, Patty, I will be wishing you well for the 19th...

Thank You, haswtch.

Patti

QQ, I wish I knew what else to say, Linda and I had such hopes this time. I tried and tried to do the right things, I did mostly. My strong beliefs in stopping the war is what got me in trouble at a war protest, I caught a misdemeaner that to anyone not on paper would have been a simple thing.

So you know, what ever may come I have to do what I have always done, when my oldest daughter passed away, I eventually picked myself up and tried again, I miss her, but I have four wonderful children including Jana, my first baby. After two divorces I again picked myself up and tried again, now Linda is in my life, and such a wonderful relationship we have now.

So, I guess, come what may on the 19th, I will eventually do it again, pick myself up and try again. I don't know what else to do, that is all I have ever known.

As I say below: "The road of life has many twists and turns, sometimes leading right back to where you started.", well that is true, but so is: Don't give up! You will stumble and fall, pick yourself up and try again! - and that is exactly what I am going to do.

Patti

Patti --

I am so sorry to hear that you are waiting for the results of the hearing on the 19th. I will send good thoughts your way on that day, and I hope very much that you will not have to go back to prison. Especially so, because I know how easy it is for people to pick up misdemeanor charges at anti-war protests, where emotions are running high and convictions are on display (I remember that the last one I attended, the police eventually convinced a lot of us to back off, stop blocking the road, and calm down because they simply didn't want to arrest the fifty of us that they would have had to.)

****

The Marina District of San Francisco is one of my favorite parts of the city. That would be my top choice for what neighborhood to live in; unfortunately, it is too far from the expressway for it to fit with my morning commute. :(

Your love for the City shines through your words...although I have far less of a history with the City - it's been less than two years since the first time I saw it - I have never felt more at home anywhere. It's a place like no other, and can make me feel emotional like no other. I can only imagine how much stronger the connection must be for someone who called the place home from childhood. I hope you will be able to return home soon.

Stay strong and take care.

I hope the judge hates the war too! It's not impossible...

Patti and Patty......you are both such an inspiration!! Reading what you have both shared through out my time here at PTO has really given me hope.
Patti, I am hoping for the best for you! I hope that the judge will have a heart and that there won't be a separation time for you and Linda.
Hang in there and know that we are all behind you......more than you could ever imagine!!

Patti