Ok, here's one -- (hope it hasn't been done yet)... Each person write a few sentences of a story. Then the next person adds some to it. I'll start it off:

She could remember his touch like it was just yesterday. Although it had been months since they had touched, she could close her eyes and actually feel his hands on her. This was her only pleasure in life lately. Daydreaming about her man. Life had been hard for her lately because...

NEXT!!!

they would not be together for some time to come. Though they may be apart in body, in spirit they will always be together. The closest times are in her dreams, these are the times.......

when she feel closest to him and then BAM... the alarm goes off her world comes crashing back down. She forces herself to get out of bed and heads to the bathroom to get ready. The hot shower feels good and it helps her to get ready for her day and her long commute to work. She gets ready and heads out the door when she notices...

NEXT!!

WOW the mail man came early today. Wonder if there's something from him to help get me thru the day. As she goes thru the mail.....

She does not find any letters from her Man... but what she does find is a package wrapped in a plain brown paper wrap. It's ddressed to her. She quickly opens it up and is shocked to see what it is...

she sees it. The old familiar "This mail originates from a correctional institution" stamp in the upper left hand corner. Only it's not her man's handwriting... it's more child-like and messy... he has such neat handwriting. Maybe he was in a rush or something... she opened the letter and knew immediately something was wrong because...

NEXT

it smelled of perfume... Her perfume! Hmmmm who could have sent her this? She reads the letter and it only says "Have a very Merry Xmas!" no signature! She slowly unwraps the contents inside the package and gasps at the sight of....

a dirty hanky. "who in the world would send me a dirty hanky?" she said....

(** side note ** lovingbilly4ever is not right in the head -- she cracks me up!!! You're a NUT! :haha:

It had to be that bitch-ass ex girlfriend of his... what kind of sick joke is this?? But then she remembered and her heart stopped... this was the hanky that her man had in his pocket the day they took him away... but how did he get it back? Weren't his things all locked away? It must mean....

NEXT

that he had to blow his nose on the way there and they let him use it and forgot to take it back! But wait... there was another oder on it???? What was this strange oder? Could it possibly be...

(LMFAO i could go way off on this one) :D

his cologne (sp)...ohhh the sweet sweet smell of calvin klines....

THE SWEET SMELL OF CALVIN KLEIN THAT HE HAD ON THE DAY THEY TOOK HIM IN, SOME HOW SOME WAY IT ENDED BACK TO ME, MAYBE HE SENT IT TO ME SO I CAN REMINISCE ON HIS SCENT..... OR MAYBE THEIR SENDING HIS BELONGINGS HOME CUZ HIS COMING HOME TO MAMA( ME).

Or is just because his locker is full and he has no more room. Now my wheels are turning and thinking what could could this be all be about???....

Well.. either way she was gonna be late for work! So she jumps in her REALLY NICE CAR (am I stretching this for some of us?) and heads off to work when she suddenly realizes that she forgot....

WHEN SHE REALIZES SHE FORGOT THE HANKY, "OH S***" SHE SAYS. I LEFT IT ON THE MAIL BOX, AND NOW SHES DOING A 360 TURN AROUND TO GET THAT BACK BEFORE SOMEONE STEALS IT.

She grabs her treasured momento off the mailbox and thinks (what a dumbass I am). Her mind is racing on her way to work... is he getting released? Did the governor grant his pardon? Would he know and not tell her? It was driving her crazy... if only she could call him!! She got to work and started her day... boring.... (yawn) but around noon, it happened....

NEXT

the phone rang and she picked it up.. "oh my gosh"she whispered as she listened to the words that were being said to her.. it was taking her brain a few moments to catch up and process it all. Could this be real?? "Who is on the phone?" asked her Co-worker.. "It's .....

my husband's lawyer", she said. She listened intently as her dreams came true -- He was being released!!! Tonight at 6pm! She had exactly 9 hours to prepare before picking him up! She had moved only 20 minutes from his prison last year so she could be close. This was a dream come true! As quickly as she could, she typed out an email to her boss explaining she had to leave unexpectedly and she was out the door. Her first stop was...

NEXT

the candle shop.. then off to the lingerie store... after that she needed to make sure that she got a special room at the

Holiday Inn... :) Her head was spinning... could this really be happening? All this time apart!! She spent the day running and organizing and finally at about 4:30pm, hopped in the shower. After her shower, she stood in the bathroom, drying off, when she heard a knock at the door...

NEXT

IT WAS MY ANNOYING FRIEND CANDY, I LOOKED OUT THE PEEP HOLE I STARTED NOT TO ANSWER THE DOOR, BUT I DID.I SAY "GIRL WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, MY BOO BOUT TO COME HOME AND I GOTTA GET READY FOR HIM AND TO PICK HIM UP", SHE SAID...

She threw Candy out of the house and sped down the highway towards her man with thoughts of hot steamy passionate romance on her mind when all of a sudden...

a hand came out of the back seat and clamped itself over her mouth. She could feel something cold pressed against her throat and a husky voice ordered her to "Drive till I tell you to stop". And there was that odor again!-------

She did as he told her too and drove for what seemed like forever. Her heart beating faster and faster she thought she might pass out. A million thoughts crossed her mind, finally he spoke again...

OK----I have to apologize here. I guess I totally derailed this story thread and I apologize to Samswife for that. I surely didn't intend to. Just pretend I didn't make my post and go on with the story from before my post.

I GET PULLED OVER BY THE COPS. S*** IM THINKING IM ONLY GOING 65 AND ITS 70 MILES PER HOUR SO WHATS UP?
HE COMES TO MY CAR AND HE SAYS

"Hello, I just wanted to let you know that one of your brake lights is out. You might want to get that fixed I would hate for anything to happen to you, Have A Good Evening Maam and Be Safe"

She gathers her composure, takes a couple of deep breaths and she

glances into the backseat--***illa scented candles and lingerie that she knows will drive her man wild. Excitement courses through her veins as she gingerly presses the accelerator and eases the car back into the heavy holiday traffic. Her mind begins to wander, and she suddenly remembers

did I confirm hotel reservations? Should I get fruit? Should I get whip cream? She just keep thinking she forgot something when all of a sudden she realized she did forget something....

condoms! damn! i forgot the condoms!
at this hour, the nearest open drugstore is 100 miles away....

As she considers turning off and going to the nearest drug store, it hits her, ding-ding-ding, the drug store is not the only place to get condoms. She quickly begins to scan each side of the road for

The nearest Dollar General...they are on every corner in West Virginia...and they sell Trojans!!!! She pays for the rubbers and heads back down the highway. She's dreaming of what her night is going to be like, and she is soo into her daydream she almost passes the exit.......

Whoa baby, she mumbles, as she jerks the wheel of her "REALLY NICE CAR" to the right and just barely manages to slide under the sign that reads--Exit to

The Our Lady of Eternal Celibacy Convent. The car bounces over mounds of dirt, swerves, and screeches to a halt.
Sixty-nine nuns come running out to welcome our horny young maiden. Her Catholic Guilt starts trippin'!!! She starts fiddling with the gold cross around her next. Hail Mary's are echoing through her brain...

"Now, come along dear, we're all so happy to have you joining our order tonight. Please bring your luggage and join us in the chapel for prayer." "Have you taken communion yet, today, dearie?" "Would you like to change into your HABIT, Miss?" "We're so overjoyed you've arrived."

Finally the sisters leave her alone in a room with stone floors a narrow dingy bed with crucifix neatly centered above. She drops to the bed thinking, "Now what?" All of a sudden she hears a faint tapping outside the door.......

It's Sister Ellen Degeneris and Sister Melissa Etheridge of the Order of
Ex-Lesbos...
She feels tingling down there...

She can't believe her luck its E! Entertainment night at the convent but wait something is tickling her ankles from beneath the bed, the faint aroma of freshly peeled banana waft through the room, can it be? no it couldn't ? Could it?

oops too slow...

so she looks down & she sees a man in a priest outfit. low & behold it was...

Elvis!!

Elvis !! with Michael Jackson with Bubbles the CHIMP!! Bubbles is munching bananas...Elvis is swinging his dancing banana all over the room...He's singing Heartbreak Hotel with Melissa and Ellen singing backup!!!!!!

Our heroine just cries...

Trapped with nuns, lesbians, a child molester, a dead PElvis with a throbbing banana and an ape....

"How am I ever gonna have a romantic
encounter tonite???" She whimpers???

she thinks to herself PARTYTIME!!

She can't believe her eyes she looks around and sees Ellen DeGenaris, Melissa Etheridge, Elvis disguised as a priest, Michael Jackson and Bubbles just when she thinks she has seen it all she hears, " all eyez on me" " OMG its Tupac" and she fainted only to be awakened by the gentle caresses of...

Jerry Springer.. wearing a bra and lace panties

Jerry, Jerry....Sweating and exhausted over some bitchfight between some California trash named Blessed_Be and her 3 swingin' primate lovers... grabs the banana from Bubbles and...

and begins to lick it slowly, teasingly while michael jackson...

rubs it.. a magic geinie appears to grant her three wishes.. her 1st wish is...

looks straight up at heroine and asks
"I can't sleep. Did you bring your son???

Meanwhile, Elvis is crooning "Jailhouse Rock" while Michael....

My first wish is no more lockdowns...

::::::::B*tchslaps Michael Jackson::::::

Jerry, who's been watching monkeys bitch-slap each other all day long over Blessed_be's trashy, cheating, no-good,
floozie ways.... grabs Michael to rescue him from another punch in the head, which he fears will further disfigure what is left of Michael's face...

"Oh Jacko, Jacko...You know, you've always been my fantasy, Jacko...I just love your pale, femme, face without a nose...your...

"weave your weave where do you buy your weaves?" asks Jerry but alas Michael cannot respond he is moved to tears by what he sees in the dark corner of the room...

Her car key!!!! Michael grabs her car key and heads for the door!

"Where are you going with my car keys, she screams???"

"To the prison!!!" replies Michael as he moonwalks down the hall!

Now, our girl is stuck in the convent with no car...

Then she remembers she still has two wishes left.. she turns to the geinie.. who by the way is dressed in a stunning Mackie beaded number.. and says I wish..

Sally Field would appear as "The Flying Nun" and whisk me out of this room, out the window and down the road and back into my car... But Michael Jackson is zooming down the highway towards the Prison....

And then the Genie says, Is that your wish? To be airborne with the Flying Nun?

She thinks long and hard as images of Dorothy and the Wicked Witch come to mind.. Images of crystal balls and Toto and being locked in a castle with an army of winged flying MONKEYS !!!

C'mon Bubbles, let's go get Michael!
Genie, give Bubbles WINGS!!!!!!!!!!

Off they fly in the direction of the prison. She looks down and see's a Jiffy Lube and remembers the condoms in her pocket.. and asks Sally to land so she can get quart of lubercant ..






<we got way too much free time> LOL

when they land the Genie appears again and tells her she has another wish... She thinks long and hard and makes a wish for 100 more wishes..... The Genie laughs and says you are a pretty smart girl, you must gain alot of knowledge from PTO..

A lone winged monkey flies overhead he whispers softly...

what about your man? Weren't you going to get him from prison today? He's waiting....

Oh my who said that? am i hearing voices now or what...I must be going crazy thinking there is really a genie and granting me wishes ...what can i do what shall i do ??