hi ladies, hope you all had a wonderful day. I have a question... I was talking to an associate of mine who's boyfriend is also in prison and I mentioned to her about the website and how informative it was and what great support the website offers. She told me that I should not be discussing anything on there about my husband and I because someone may find out who I am and try to cause problems with me and my husband.:confused: (She has been down with her man since 1986). She told me never to make friends, never talk my business, say hi and bye and keep it pushing. :eek: She had a very bad experience with some lady who she met thru her boyfriend (his cellies wife). Her and the lady would be together almost every weekend and would spend the night over each others house. something happened, they literally came to blows inside the prison over some he said she said hater mess. I just wanted to know am i not suppose to be my friendly self and put my game face on? Help!!! If so thats gonna be hard because i am such a peoples person.

Hey TNT!

What your friend said is sort of true. My man is sort of the same way. He's like, don't give out last names, don't give out home phones, (cells ok - but only to those you trust) don't become "to friendly", etc. BUT, I told him to trust my judgement/instincts too. By telling my man to trust me, he does. At least he says he does. But just to be careful.

I've also been down this road for many, many years!! Not once have I run into issues. It is usually cause I do keep to myself, well, at least use to....BUT have also made a handful of friends and woman that I trust. I get to know someone first, either by email, instant messenger, meeting at the prison and talking, and then I go with my gut instinct with passing out my cell number. Out of all the years I've done this, I've only given out my cell number to maybe 5 or 6 women.

The women I have met are from all over California. Especially the women from PTO are awesome. I have had friends from here tell me about other women who they found out after the fact, who would try to sneak drugs or whatever in, with whom they carpooled with. THOSE are the folks you gotta be careful of. Cause you can get in trouble too, even if you are not the one bringing in the drugs or whatever they are trying to sneak in!

So I say, give out info what you think may be ok to give out. Don't post Cell #'s, etc. maybe only the yard so you have something in common to talk about. Other than that, whatever you think is off limits should be off limits. You are not obligated to tell anyone your man's business, period!

Anyway, that's my two cents on this subject. ;):twocents:

I too, have met many ladies from PTO as well as through my husband. I personally prefer the people I meet. I have carpooled with a few different ladies. But I had talked to them online/PM/emails or on the phone. I ALWAYS listen to that little voice, it's pretty much always right. If I get bad vibes from someone I keep them as Hi/Bye type people and don't let them know to much about me or my family. I am picky when it comes to carpooling. I have only carpooled with 4 different ladies, we got a long very well. My husband always tells me not to be meeting people off the internet, But I personally think he's been incarcerated to long and doesn't understand the internet thing to well. I am very careful about who I will meet from online. It's kind of a double edge, you need to beware, but at the same time a little adventurous, if that makes sense. :D I love meeting new people too!! But you really need to keep that guard up. If I don't feel that click, I guess you might call it, then I keep my distance from them. So your not alone! I think maybe your friend was burned and is very leery, which I would be too!! Sounds like she's just lookin out for you.OK, I'm done with the Oxy moron phrases!!! :lol: Hopefully I've made some kind of sense!!! :rolleyes:

I She told me that I should not be discussing anything on there about my husband and I because someone may find out who I am and try to cause problems with me and my husband.

It's a good idea to keep any info about your husband off the message boards. I try to keep my conversations on an impersonal level, just because I don't want to cause any trouble for myself or my husband. Sometimes other visitors or CO's may come on the boards and look around and figure out who you are. One of the CO's that's on my husband's yard asked me if my screen name was poodlegirl (because apparently I'm the only one from reno that visits the prison). I'll speak freely on pets, tv shows, and reading recommendations, but I make an effort to keep my husband out of posts, and I try not to talk about people - even when I think they deserve it.

Juniors Queen and Ed'sbaby have posted good info too.