jdswifey02
08-20-2002, 10:45 PM
I learned JD's story slowly... in bits and pieces over time.... when I first met him, I simply knew that he was convicted of murder and that he had received a sentance of 20 years... I didn't ask that many questions about what happened... and I figured that he would tell me what he wanted to tell me as he felt ready.... When I found myself falling in love with him, I knew that he had been with another person who beat up an addict who had stolen from that other person. I knew that he was 15 years old when it happened.... I knew that he had run away from home.... Even not knowing the whole story... it didn't really matter... because I feel in love with the man that I saw before me every day... a man who was not about hurting, but in fact all about helping others....
As I met his family.... I learned other little bits and pieces of the story.... I learned about how other people-- grown people who should have known better-- could have prevented this.... I heard how his father and step-mother searched for him.... how they had gone to his half-brother's mother's house and told this woman that JD had run from home... how they asked her to call them if she saw him.... I learned later he had been staying with her.... hanging out with his half-brother.... who was in a gang and who was selling drugs... and how she did NOT call his parents... probably to spite his father who had chosen to not be with her.... I learned that after this "incident" occurred, she knew about it... and had told JD that if he was picked up by the police, he better just tell them what he knew. He was picked up by the police, and he followed her advice, and gave a statement.... without a parent or an attorney present. That statement would later be used to convict him.
I learned more of the details of the story even later.... recently when I received a copy of the trial transcript. From all of these, here is what occurred on that day....
JD was riding in a car with his half-brother, a cousin, and another young man. His cousin had been on the look-out for an addict in the area who had broken into his mother's house and stolen a TV, VCR, and a microwave.... In driving around, they happened to go by this guy's house and he was out on his stoop. His cousin pulled the car over and got out of the car to confront the guy. The other three of them (including JD) stayed in the car. His cousin started beating the guy up. This drew some attention in the neighborhood (south side of Chicago) and 5-6 other guys started walking up on the situation. The three in the car (JD included) believed that his cousin may no longer be in a "fair" fight.... So they decided to give him a bat that was in the car to fend off these other guys. JD was the one who took the bat and gave it to his cousin. Rather than fending off these other guys, his cousin hit the man he was fighting with the bat twice. They then left. The man who had been beaten was taken into his house by his friends. Per the trial transcript/testimony, he was later taken to the hospital and was diagnosed with a minor concussion. It was recommended he stay in the hospital for observation. He signed himself out the next morening AMA (Against Medical Advice). He died a few days later.
At the trial, the prosecuter painted the picture of a young group of black gang members with a plot and a plan to murder this man. JD's statement had been altered by the police, and was used against him. He was found guilty of 1st degree murder-- becsause although he did not hit the man with the baseball bat, he supplied the weapon.
JD's biggest struggle over the past 9 years he has spent incarcerated has been in his own mind as HE struggles with his level of responsibility for this man's death. I know he has days when he feels that it really wasn't his fault. He knows that he never intended for this man to die.... and yet other days he feels that he IS indeed responsible, because he was there and he did give his cousin the bat. He came to the point a long time ago, where he decided t is best for him to accept full responsibilty for this man's death. For him, accepting responsibilty for it is easier than trying to figure out his level of responsibility and the bottom line is that he knows he didn't do the RIGHT thing, so just HOW WRONG he was really doesn't matter. He was wrong and I know he has stood before God and begged for forgiveness... and yet I know that there is a place deep in his heart where he believes that he can't really be forgiven for that wrong.
I know that he is still haunted by nightmares of the incident and of the victim. I know he would do ANYTHING in the world, to go back and live that part of his life over again. I know that it will haunt him forever. Do I feel my JD is a "murderer"? No. But I also know that we will forever struggle with the fact that he is labeled that way by society. When people see his mittimus, see his conviction, they don't ask for "the rest of the story."
I have never found it difficult to love him... in fact he makes it quite easy.... And I have never really worried too much about what his case was... for I don't think it is my place to judge him for that anymore than it is for me to judge any other person for any wrong. I choose my level of involvement with people based on what I see.... and from what I see of JD, he is a wonderful man and I will be truly blessed to one day officially be his wife.
(Gosh this is a really long post... so thanks to anyone who actually takes the time to read it all!!) :)
As I met his family.... I learned other little bits and pieces of the story.... I learned about how other people-- grown people who should have known better-- could have prevented this.... I heard how his father and step-mother searched for him.... how they had gone to his half-brother's mother's house and told this woman that JD had run from home... how they asked her to call them if she saw him.... I learned later he had been staying with her.... hanging out with his half-brother.... who was in a gang and who was selling drugs... and how she did NOT call his parents... probably to spite his father who had chosen to not be with her.... I learned that after this "incident" occurred, she knew about it... and had told JD that if he was picked up by the police, he better just tell them what he knew. He was picked up by the police, and he followed her advice, and gave a statement.... without a parent or an attorney present. That statement would later be used to convict him.
I learned more of the details of the story even later.... recently when I received a copy of the trial transcript. From all of these, here is what occurred on that day....
JD was riding in a car with his half-brother, a cousin, and another young man. His cousin had been on the look-out for an addict in the area who had broken into his mother's house and stolen a TV, VCR, and a microwave.... In driving around, they happened to go by this guy's house and he was out on his stoop. His cousin pulled the car over and got out of the car to confront the guy. The other three of them (including JD) stayed in the car. His cousin started beating the guy up. This drew some attention in the neighborhood (south side of Chicago) and 5-6 other guys started walking up on the situation. The three in the car (JD included) believed that his cousin may no longer be in a "fair" fight.... So they decided to give him a bat that was in the car to fend off these other guys. JD was the one who took the bat and gave it to his cousin. Rather than fending off these other guys, his cousin hit the man he was fighting with the bat twice. They then left. The man who had been beaten was taken into his house by his friends. Per the trial transcript/testimony, he was later taken to the hospital and was diagnosed with a minor concussion. It was recommended he stay in the hospital for observation. He signed himself out the next morening AMA (Against Medical Advice). He died a few days later.
At the trial, the prosecuter painted the picture of a young group of black gang members with a plot and a plan to murder this man. JD's statement had been altered by the police, and was used against him. He was found guilty of 1st degree murder-- becsause although he did not hit the man with the baseball bat, he supplied the weapon.
JD's biggest struggle over the past 9 years he has spent incarcerated has been in his own mind as HE struggles with his level of responsibility for this man's death. I know he has days when he feels that it really wasn't his fault. He knows that he never intended for this man to die.... and yet other days he feels that he IS indeed responsible, because he was there and he did give his cousin the bat. He came to the point a long time ago, where he decided t is best for him to accept full responsibilty for this man's death. For him, accepting responsibilty for it is easier than trying to figure out his level of responsibility and the bottom line is that he knows he didn't do the RIGHT thing, so just HOW WRONG he was really doesn't matter. He was wrong and I know he has stood before God and begged for forgiveness... and yet I know that there is a place deep in his heart where he believes that he can't really be forgiven for that wrong.
I know that he is still haunted by nightmares of the incident and of the victim. I know he would do ANYTHING in the world, to go back and live that part of his life over again. I know that it will haunt him forever. Do I feel my JD is a "murderer"? No. But I also know that we will forever struggle with the fact that he is labeled that way by society. When people see his mittimus, see his conviction, they don't ask for "the rest of the story."
I have never found it difficult to love him... in fact he makes it quite easy.... And I have never really worried too much about what his case was... for I don't think it is my place to judge him for that anymore than it is for me to judge any other person for any wrong. I choose my level of involvement with people based on what I see.... and from what I see of JD, he is a wonderful man and I will be truly blessed to one day officially be his wife.
(Gosh this is a really long post... so thanks to anyone who actually takes the time to read it all!!) :)