PinkyStar
10-08-2008, 11:41 PM
Hello~
I don't know how many of you are aware of Oxford House International, but for anyone that truly desires to remain clean and sober, an Oxford House is an excellent resource. In a nutshell, OH's are a safe, clean and sober environment for any addict to live in.
My fiance and I became involved with Oxford House because the higher power up above put things in motion for us to be there. We had been clean for about 10 days, doing our 90 meetings in 90 days and doing well... but at the time, I was living with my mother and he was living at the homeless shelter. He had been there before when he was using and had done some things that weren't so nice. The local meetings were in the evening, so by the time the meetings were over, unless Frankie had asked for a late check-in at the shelter (normal check-in time was 8pm) he wouldn't be allowed to stay. Our NA group had a 4th of July celebration on the Saturday before the 4th and because we stayed, even though he got ok'd for a late check-in, one of the guys that didn't like him refused to let him stay. So, for that night, he slept in my car in the parking lot at Kmart.
One of the gals in our NA group told us about the Oxford Houses in our town, so Frankie went to the Sunday house meeting and was voted in.
Oxford Houses are democratically run by the members that live there. Each member and their guests are subject to random UA's and breathalyzer testing (at 3 day intervals a dice is rolled and everyone in the room number that corresponds to the number on the dice submits a monitored UA... if not, it's considered a refusal and relapse and they are out), they have weekly and daily chores, and can hold an officer position. The houses have zero tolerance for drugs, drinking, and criminal activity.
This is an environment where each member is held accountable for their actions/decisions and can get back on track. They are required to hold gainful employment in order to pay their share of the rent for their room (unless they are on SSI/disability... in which case they are required to perform a certain number of hours of community service each week), and learn skills needed to get back in to being "a productive member of society".
Houses are segregated by sexes (men's houses, women's houses) and ALL houses (at least in our town) are kid friendly (a member with children is able to have their kid live with them or visit). Each member is placed on a contract for their first 30 days and is required to complete a set of objectives (a certain number of recovery group meetings per week... a certain number of job contacts if they are not employed, etc.)
These are NOT halfway houses. As long as you are paying your rent and following the rules, you can stay as long as you feel you need to (I know one gentleman that has lived in an Oxford House for the last 9 years). BUT there ARE rules that you have to follow or you will be placed on disciplinary contract or if it is sever enough you will be evicted.
For those that are just coming out of prison or jail, it is a structured environment that will help you get back into your community. But anyone is welcome, not just someone coming out of incarceration. For people that have just committed to becoming clean, it is a structured environment that stresses accountability that most of us don't have when we are "runnin' and gunnin'" or "chasing the bag".
I'm including the web address to their website for anyone that want's more info. Each house has their own specific rules, but they all follow the same general model. If your loved one is about ready to get out and needs a clean and sober environment to live in, you might see if there is a house in your area.
Oxford House International website: oxfordhouse dot org
If you have specific questions for me, please feel free. Although I wasn't a member or live in a house, after his first 30 days were up I was allowed to be an overnight guest 3 nights a week. I "lived" there part-time and attended the house meetings and became a part of the group. Now that Frank is locked up for something that happened back in 2000 when he WAS using, the guys at his house have been very supportive of me. I still go visit, attend the house meetings and I know that it is still a safe environment for me if I am having struggles of my own. And since quite a few of the guys have been in jail/prison, they have been helping me out since this is MY first experience dealing with having a loved one incarcerated. I've made a lot of good friends from Frankie living in that house... TRUE, SOBER friends.
Valerie
I don't know how many of you are aware of Oxford House International, but for anyone that truly desires to remain clean and sober, an Oxford House is an excellent resource. In a nutshell, OH's are a safe, clean and sober environment for any addict to live in.
My fiance and I became involved with Oxford House because the higher power up above put things in motion for us to be there. We had been clean for about 10 days, doing our 90 meetings in 90 days and doing well... but at the time, I was living with my mother and he was living at the homeless shelter. He had been there before when he was using and had done some things that weren't so nice. The local meetings were in the evening, so by the time the meetings were over, unless Frankie had asked for a late check-in at the shelter (normal check-in time was 8pm) he wouldn't be allowed to stay. Our NA group had a 4th of July celebration on the Saturday before the 4th and because we stayed, even though he got ok'd for a late check-in, one of the guys that didn't like him refused to let him stay. So, for that night, he slept in my car in the parking lot at Kmart.
One of the gals in our NA group told us about the Oxford Houses in our town, so Frankie went to the Sunday house meeting and was voted in.
Oxford Houses are democratically run by the members that live there. Each member and their guests are subject to random UA's and breathalyzer testing (at 3 day intervals a dice is rolled and everyone in the room number that corresponds to the number on the dice submits a monitored UA... if not, it's considered a refusal and relapse and they are out), they have weekly and daily chores, and can hold an officer position. The houses have zero tolerance for drugs, drinking, and criminal activity.
This is an environment where each member is held accountable for their actions/decisions and can get back on track. They are required to hold gainful employment in order to pay their share of the rent for their room (unless they are on SSI/disability... in which case they are required to perform a certain number of hours of community service each week), and learn skills needed to get back in to being "a productive member of society".
Houses are segregated by sexes (men's houses, women's houses) and ALL houses (at least in our town) are kid friendly (a member with children is able to have their kid live with them or visit). Each member is placed on a contract for their first 30 days and is required to complete a set of objectives (a certain number of recovery group meetings per week... a certain number of job contacts if they are not employed, etc.)
These are NOT halfway houses. As long as you are paying your rent and following the rules, you can stay as long as you feel you need to (I know one gentleman that has lived in an Oxford House for the last 9 years). BUT there ARE rules that you have to follow or you will be placed on disciplinary contract or if it is sever enough you will be evicted.
For those that are just coming out of prison or jail, it is a structured environment that will help you get back into your community. But anyone is welcome, not just someone coming out of incarceration. For people that have just committed to becoming clean, it is a structured environment that stresses accountability that most of us don't have when we are "runnin' and gunnin'" or "chasing the bag".
I'm including the web address to their website for anyone that want's more info. Each house has their own specific rules, but they all follow the same general model. If your loved one is about ready to get out and needs a clean and sober environment to live in, you might see if there is a house in your area.
Oxford House International website: oxfordhouse dot org
If you have specific questions for me, please feel free. Although I wasn't a member or live in a house, after his first 30 days were up I was allowed to be an overnight guest 3 nights a week. I "lived" there part-time and attended the house meetings and became a part of the group. Now that Frank is locked up for something that happened back in 2000 when he WAS using, the guys at his house have been very supportive of me. I still go visit, attend the house meetings and I know that it is still a safe environment for me if I am having struggles of my own. And since quite a few of the guys have been in jail/prison, they have been helping me out since this is MY first experience dealing with having a loved one incarcerated. I've made a lot of good friends from Frankie living in that house... TRUE, SOBER friends.
Valerie