For the past month or so, our weekly visits have all but been ruined by screaming children. Some of the screaming is because the kids are unhappy, and some of it is playful. For whatever the reason, it's just TOO LOUD. When it starts at one table (and it's usually the same table), it's so outrageously loud that it creates a chain reaction. Babies are awakened and join in on the squealing & squawling until hardly anyone can carry on a conversation with the person right beside them.

Today, I watched the people whose children usually start the scream-fest, and they were purposely teasing the kids to get them started screaming. Once the screaming started, they just sat back and grinned while people shot them nasty looks from all over the room.

I'm going to write a letter to the warden, but I wondered if anyone else has had this problem. In every other prison where my husband has been assigned, this kind of behavior was not tolerated.

I understand--the screaming is ear piercing at times! The kids run around--screaming and howling. They seem to enjoy running into the bathrooms--stuffing the toilets with paper and candy--and my personal favorite--shutting off the lights when people are actually utilizing the bathroom for the intended purpose. The parents do nothing.

We do our best to ignore it. I thought about "complaining", but decided that I don't want to create any issues and have it reflect upon my husband or myself. As much as I would like to see changes--I know it will not happen overnight and I just focus on enjoying my time with my husband.....

Molly

i try to be tolerant because i think "kids will be kids" and it has to be hard to expect a child to hang out at a visitation for hours without anything else to do. however, there have definately been times when they have gotten on my nerves! i think facilities should allow parents to bring in toys for the kids, or at least have some on hand, to keep them occupied while mom and dad (or whoever) visit.

a couple weeks ago, kids were getting really rowdy and the in-charge guard yelled out something to the effect that if people didn't calm their kids down, their visits would end right then and there so that everyone else could enjoy their visits. needless to say, the room got VERY quiet!

Where my husband is this isn't a problem becuase we have an indoor and an outdoor visitaition area. The kids play outside while their parents or whomever sits at picnic tables outside and watch them. If they get rowdy or loud we go back inside and get away from the noise.

i've had similar problems with the adults next to us. where the people visiting were practically shouting, then laughing really loud, so much so that we really could hardly hear each other speak together. i was afraid to complain, fearing some ultimate backlash to my friend.

On the weekends that I visit Billy, it's very loud. Today wasn't so bad because there wasn't a lot of people. But the kids run around and chase each other. Then while they're playing, the adults get louder to cover the children's play. Yes, kids will be kids, but I think that parents should have a little control over their children running and hollering. It's out of respect for other vistors.

I've had similar situations myself when I visited w/EJ. The kids were LOUD & also running around, the CO that was watching us took care of that very quickly which was a good thing. The kids were so loud EJ & I had to talk louder & we both didn't enjoy that.

I just deleted a whole LONG comment about those type of parents and there attitude. As far as I'm concerned there the "lowlifes" of Society, raising a bunch more just like them! One generation after another! Those I see, coming in the store have done a number of trips through the county jail system and graduated to prison and still have the same attitude.

Some of those parents, after talking, I've had to tell them, not to come back in the store. One of there kid (12) was busted for breaking into the store. One doesn't have to guess where he got that attitude!

OK, I'm getting PISSED again, so I'll shut up

I know what you mean about being afraid to complain, tiamotzz. I wanted to complain to the Sgt. on duty Saturday, but my husband told me that the inmate whose family starts all the racket every week is one more nasty fellow and purposely gets the kids screaming to disrupt other peoples' visits. He's daring someone to say something to him so he'll have a reason to start something back in the block.

There's a difference between kids getting restless and acting out and kids being completely undisciplined and screaming their heads off for 10-20 consecutive minutes. What really burns us up is that the parents laugh about it. Apparently they don't have anything worthwhile to talk about at visitation and they want to make sure that no one else has a good visit, either. It's hard to ignore 3 screaming kids who are all less than 3 feet away from us!

The officers do intervene when kids start running around and especially when they start playing in the water in the bathroom because of the risk of injury. They just never say anything about the screaming.

Yes, the loud adults are a problem from time to time, too, but they're never called down, either. However, when enough of us give them dirty looks, they usually calm down.

You go, B-Ray!

People have to have a license to get married, to go fishing, to drive a car, to do all sorts of things except the most important thing of all ... HAVE CHILDREN!

I agree bookgirl!! I honestly think it comes down to NO respect at all from the parents. I see it all the time in stores & also on public transportation. They let the kids run totally wild w/out anybody else's thoughts in mind. There have been a ton of times when I have wanted to grab the parents & say something like, "calm your kid down!", but I haven't yet.
Then when the kid hurts themselves they blame it on the store or the people around them, "you made my kid hurt himself" type of thing.

Ok getting off subject here & getting mad! :mad:

I understand how frustrating it must be to try and deal with kids who are out of control in a small enclosed area--as a mother of 6, nothing much phases me- my noise tolereance level is higher than most :)

although i agree that parents need to keep their kids in check- keep in mind that many prisons do not offer anything for kids during visitation nor do they allow them to bring anything in-2 hours in a hot, overcrowded room after being encased in a car for God knows how many hours...i am certainly not excusing undisciplined behavior --just offering the perspective from a tired kid and possibly a very tired young mom with kids 2,3, and 4 trying desperatley to hang on just one more day...

My kids, thank God, are very well behaved the majority of the time , although all kids have their days...and they still get antsy in the visiting rooms- they need to have better facilities , with outdoor playgrounds, tv or reading rooms for kids...would make the visitation experience much better for everyone!

At Billy's prison there is a toy room where an inmate working it will hand out toys, coloring books, puzzles, etc. That's great, however, they don't bring that guy in until there are many, many children to keep occupied. I've been there for 2 to 2 1/2 hours listening to the children. By that time, I'm already frustrated.

I guess the prison is doing the best that they can.

Well I have both sides on this one.. Trust me there are times that my boys get noisy but I am on them right away.. The visits are hard on them just as they are on me so I try to be understanding but if they are acting up and being loud I get on them.. I do not like it when peoples children are obnoxius so I surely am not going to let my own be that way.. Hell no.. You need to maintain your children at some point.. My boys do really good with the occasionally problem but for the most part are really good.. Thank Goodness..

I agree that kids will be kids...but parents must be parents and teach them to be considerate of others. They can't be expected to sit like little soldiers, and should play and enjoy their vistis too-within reson though!
I hate when I see parents completely ignoring their little monster's behavior, or laughing at it!!! That's awful because they made them into little monsters!

Check out this link-more prisons should implement such programs

http://www.doc.state.nc.us/NEWS/1997/9704news/orange.htm

The visitaion rules at the prison I visited states very clearly. "Control your children or the visitation will be terminated. This will be strictly enforced." And I guess they mean it because it is quiet as a church in there.

what prison is that? I'd be willing to bet some of those kids mouths have duct tape on them :)
I just don't think it is realistic to expect kids to "sit down and shut up"--visits are the ONLY time kids have with their dad or mom-they should be allowed to giggle and have fun- sorry guys, I'm not budging on this one-
Now, running around screamimg at the top of their lungs, not minding their parents is something else...
but I just think they should be allowed to have fun and play around with their mom or dad--it's the only quality time they get

oh yea-i agree w/you Sherri. They totally should be able to be having fun time w/family....but it's just like you said-within reason.

i agree with you sherri.. they need the time too. but they need to be under control at the same time.. :)

At the facility my husband is at in Michigan---there are toddler toys in a certain area and depending on the guard who's working the visiting room the kids can go play in that area or go and get a toy and bring it back to the chairs we sit at that are in rows with others. For older kids there are games...but no tables to play them at...only a few coffee tables throughout the room in front of some of the chairs in rows. There is no outside visiting...I guess there used to be and there are picnic tables outside of the visiting room and was a park like setting with outdoor play equipment for kids when we first started visiting there a couple of years ago. The kids are expected to sit down and be quiet or depending on who's on the visit is terminated. This is at a secure level 1. I've heard that some of the other secure level one's have tv/play rooms for kids etc... It's amazing how different they can be within a state and within a level even.

Deb

We had a good visit today! About 15 minutes after we sat down at our usual table, the family with all the problem children came in and sat at the table right beside us. We promptly got up and moved to another area of the room. People all around us started grinning because they knew we'd made a point without saying a word. Would you believe those kids didn't act out today?! Maybe the parents got the message! Even so, we plan to continue sitting in the area where we sat today. It was SOOO much quieter than where we used to sit.

today was my first visit to a state facility. much faster in line than county (I think my total wait was 20 minutes, including processing), much cleaner than county...thankfully. The kids that were there were very quiet, but we were in non contact, down a long hallway, far far away from the earshot of any guards. The only problem I had was a mother who was letting her children play but failing to check up on them. One of her boys jumped off a bench smack and somehow managed to smack his forhead on the ground. It wasn't her that got up to check on him, it was me...that bothered me. Otherwise, I have no complaints. :)

At one prison where I visited we [a few of the women and their incarcerated partners] suggested that there be a dedicated space in the visiting area for families. Guess what? The visiting room sergeant liked the idea and two weeks later there were large tables set up for family visiting in one area of the room and two-three chair setups for adult visiting on the other side of the visiting hall. Everyone was much happier!
Sometimes, I have found, that making a suggestion, versus "making a complaint", works far more effectively in this less than accomodating system [and that is an understatement, to say the least!!!]. There IS power in numbers--perhaps talking with other couples/adult visitors who are experiencing the same problems can result in some sort of joint action.
egs
...AJFA

egs- sounds like a great solution to me!

I have an 18 month old son who I take to see his dad every weekend and I must admit that after awhile he does get restless and wants to run around and when I don't let him he screams and cries. But I get it under control fast.I would never want me child to make anyone else's visit uncomfortable nor would I want anyone doing it to me. I think it it selfish for any parent to allow there kids to take away peace from others. The behavior described is just ridiculous. As a parent I would be embarrassed to have children acting like they have no home training especially the big one's. I know it's hard but don't let them steal your joy. Look on the bright side they have to live with the brats.