View Full Version : I was asked a weird question that was off-topic? Opinions please?

06-02-2008, 03:52 PM
So I got a letter from an old guy friend of mine. I lost contact with him for five years and his mother and my mother began talking again last year. Well anyway, We are both quite young...I am almost 17 years old and he is 19 years old. I have known him since I was three years old and he was about 5. Well, we have been writing (I wrote him first because I found out where he was from his mom and I figured it would be a good way to get contact back with an old friend.) Well, the letter was nice, it was just like any letter you would get from a friend in prison. However, when I got to the end of the letter he wrote, "I was wondering are you a virgin baby-girl? Send me some more pictures." Okayyyyyyyy.....ummmmmmmmmmmm first let me say that the pictures I sent him were not revealing or sexual in any way. They were just cute pictures that you would give to a friend (guy or girl.) Nothing special about them. Well, The fact that he asked that question because it's very personal for anybody to ask a girl and the fact that he said he wanted more pictures after that was odd. What do all of you think of this? I don't really know what to think. What does he mean? Is this normal for a guy friend to ask (even if he is in prison?)

06-02-2008, 04:42 PM
I find that inappropriate and it is definitely not the way you speak to a lady! I would write and tell him that was offensive and not send any more pictures!

06-02-2008, 04:47 PM
Wake that boy up!!!!!!!!! Rude, inappropriate, thoughtless. And perhaps part of the reason he's currently in.

06-02-2008, 04:57 PM
Since you have kinda known him awhile i would write back and ask some serious questions..

06-02-2008, 05:10 PM
I thought it was a rude question....I answered it with yes (because I am a virgin...) and left it there....I was confused because it was very rude and not something he should ask me. My friends think that the fact that those two statements (the virginity question and the pictures) were put together means he could be ummm...using my pictures for fun. His question surprised me because he has always been sweet and nice to me and always respectful. That question came out of nowhere and it was random. I don't know what he meant by it.

06-02-2008, 05:19 PM
He's probably lonely and figures he can get away with that with you because you two have known each other for a long time, but that was a very perverted question on his part. Let him know you didn't appreciate it and that's not the reason why you wrote him in the first place!

06-02-2008, 05:20 PM
I definetly would not send him anymore pictures of you. I would write and tell him that was way uncalled for and if he is wanting you to write him again to show you some respect in his letters.

06-02-2008, 05:28 PM
Oh I haven't sent him any more pictures. I still don't know why he asked that...but of course I haven't asked him.

06-02-2008, 07:43 PM
He asked me a while ago but it's just starting to bother me for some reason...:/

06-03-2008, 04:50 AM
HI, I'm new to PTO.

I wouldn't let it bother you. I'd just ask him what he meant by it. A lot can be lost in the written word. I like to be completely open and honest with my friend and if she wrote something that bothered me in the least I'd just talk to her about it. Communication is the key to everything.

06-03-2008, 09:26 PM
Aires has a good point. Realize that an inmate is lonely. Yeah, the comments were suggestive and inappropriate in the real world, but dont come back too hard at him.
Just tell him nicely what you have told us. Dont crush a fly when he is iimpaled on a window screen because his guidance was impaired!

06-03-2008, 09:36 PM
I think it was rude, and you should tell him how you feel, and definitely don't send him any more pictures.

06-03-2008, 11:02 PM
Okay, I'm sorry but I have to say something here, I'm a man and I feel it was an inappropriate question. I'm tired of all the excuses people make for some inmates and if that makes me a jerk, so be it. Just because you are locked up doesn't give you the right to treat your girlfriend or wife like crap. It also doesn't give an adult the right to ask an underage girl this kind of question.

06-03-2008, 11:37 PM
There are enough fish in the sea. This guy isn't worth a second look, let along a sweet answer back to his totally inappropriate question.

On an Oprah show about teaching women to protect themselves a guy who wrote a book called "The gift of fear" said that everyone he'd ever talked to who had been victimized had initially had a reaction of "hmmm, that seems a little wierd". IT WASN'T an in-your-face-freak -out feeling but the "still, small voice" of their gut letting them know to be cautious. Those who listened and took steps to get away from the people who'd given them that "weird" feeling often found out later, that they could have been hurt or even killed but those who'd ignored this feeling, put it down to over-sensitivity and shrugged it off had come very close to losing their lives way too often and had been scarred for life by attacks of various kinds.

LISTEN to your gut instinct. If I had listened to mine I'd be in a lot less pain now! Make a habit of listening to your gut--I heard another amazing quote from Ben Carson (a brilliant NeuroSurgeon) who said that the gut is simply a combination of all your past experiences that you can't pull up consciously combined into an instantly perfect guiding feeling. It can be trusted!!

Be safe, GiaElise

06-04-2008, 12:57 AM
I would have been completely offended by his question. It may have been very different if the two of you had chosen to take your friendship to another level and in the normal sequence of events, he asked you about your past sexual relationships. His question doesn't seem to be normal at all.

06-04-2008, 07:28 AM
I find it a very disrespectful question.. in fact a question that I wouldn't have answered provided we were just friends. Honestly, my man (MWI) didn't even ask that question when we were ready to take our relationship to the next level.

wendy tyler
06-04-2008, 07:40 AM
Since he sent the letter, he has had time to stew about it and probably could kick his own arse. At the age of nineteen, guys tend to speak or in this case write before they think. He is no doubt on pins and needles worrying if he'll hear back from you. He has probably figured out for himself he shouldn't have asked.

06-04-2008, 09:19 AM
I'm in 100% agreement with what everyone else has said here. If you continue writing him, I think you should set some very clear boundaries. Lay it out, plain as day, that you're uncomfortable with those types of questions and stick to your guns. If he respects you, he'll respect your boundaries.

06-04-2008, 01:43 PM
I can, with all honesty, say, I have never been asked that question.

06-07-2008, 12:46 AM
I find that inappropriate and it is definitely not the way you speak to a lady! I would write and tell him that was offensive and not send any more pictures!
i aggree 100 %